Before I begin, allow me to explain,
I too loved.. once,
so think of me not as some cynic-
nor as a master in the ways of love-
but rather as a keen observer-
now, that may mean I have nothing to offer you-
no insider knowledge-
no secrets of love-

But I do  know how to tell a true love story -

Interested?
Fantastic-
So let’s begin,

True love, if there is such a thing at all,
is like the thread that makes the cloth
you can’t tease it out-
you can’t extract meaning-
without ending up deeper in the web-
and it always remains-
hidden under layers -

In the end, that’s all you can really say about any
True love story-
They don’t generalize-
They don’t analyze-
They arent found-
They just… happen.

and that’s what makes them “true.”

But what is this coveted “love” -
the emotion?-
the act?-
the mentality?-

Love, is a constant state of illusionment-

A collective agreement amongst humans-
that it, whatever it may be,  can be treated as an excuse
for recklessness, irrationality, and misplaced strife-  

A quid pro quo  between two individuals-
to agree that they are doing something-
anything-
other than mindlessly drudging through life-

Now that is not to say that what love creates is pointless-
I said before, I have felt the embrace of love
Love festers between individuals for so long
it has no option-
but to mould the physical to itself-
and alter our personalities-

Characterized by spontaneity-
by indulgence-
by risk-
to love is the most dangerous experience in existence-
the act of being fully vulnerable with another-
while promising not to hurt them the same-

Love is characterized by vulnerability-
and the constant fear of being hurt-

So you want to know how to write a true love story?
be honest-
dwell not on the “romantic” blindfolds that keep us irrationally seeking our partners-
dwell not on the on the memories of a love that blossomed-
reveal the core of love -

A true love story comes from gut instinct-
A true love story, comes from experience.
A true love story, if truly told, makes the stomach believe

So I said I loved once,
allow me to elaborate-

I too have felt the “butterfly stomach”
- where the insides of the lovestruck turn on their host and manifests the emotional significance of meeting “the one”

I too have spent the day daydreaming...
-Lost in the thought of “the one”, seeking brief breaks from reality in my mind between moments of  utter normalcy

I too have melted into a puddle of emotion….
-lying next to “the one” as we slowly spill more and more of the secrets that bound us as individuals, joining a spirit much larger than ourselves-

I too have felt... invincible-
-to know that I’ve found something more significant than myself. Something that replaces the fear of the future.. and makes it something to look forward to.

Yes, I too have fallen in love.
and I did just that-
I fell.





..And that is my true love story-

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
Go **** yourself.

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
I don't follow.

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
You can't generalize like that.

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
All conflict in the world cannot be attributed to a single root.

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
That requires the assumption that, basically, all human values are the same.

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
That is very naive of you.

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
That is because communication and language are the only means of expression and different words acquire very different meanings not only from culture to culture but even profession to profession.

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
That's why the government is investing in that new fibre internet.

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
Well of course, all human values are essentially the same.

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
It's actually a lack of technological progression that restricts us from contacting aliens.

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
Religious conflict is far more complicated than that.

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
Go to Hell.

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
Yes

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
No

Did you know the root of all conflict in the world is miscommunication?
What do you mean?

I give in... I give in...
I wear my sweaters thin
because nothing ever feels
hyper-real
I know kids who get raw experience
yet call me the wiser
for not getting any.

No one who sits at their dinner table,
pretending to have something to write,
deserves to be tired
and so I don't catnap
under the constipated clouds
waiting for the rain.

I grow old--I grow old
I don't like my trousers rolled
as I walk down the street
watching young people
who don't give themselves a break
from hyper-living
Just keep kicking.

Not to generalize,
but it must be said
that a barbarous youth doesn't give in
until their metal beams split
and their windows come down
and their doors can't open
because of the debris
and their admirees
stand before the pile still not knowing
who they are.

(It won't make them shiver
to think you've opened up
listening to their music
unless they open
their ears for you.)

After dusting themselves off
will all the newborn adults shake hands
look back on the skyscrapers that surrounded them
and be friends?

I give in
I relax over my comfortable,
blank lines
with nothing to write
because I'm the only one
with nothing to fight.

I decided I'm goin in.
Yall dun' slipped up and left me with a pen.
It seems lately I been under-drinkin'
Over-sober over-contemplating what's been really happening.

I'm usually a lot more subtle.

I give the benefit of the doubt like I'm a Catholic priest absolving ******' sins.
Confusing my honesty for reckless abandon-in
To your chagrin, just hecause you're unable to comprehend.

You don't move through this world in the shoes I'm in.

I bet no ones ever called you a sub-human.

Did that election make YOU question all your caucasian friends? Their motives, their thoughts, biases,
Lookin for Microaggressions?
Now those relationships are withered at the ends and it depends on larger hearts and open minds to try and mend and re-begin?
Because someone you love insulted ALL your kin.
Supporting someone who blatantly hates them.
Tunnel vision.Could only see what they wanted Sanctity of life only applies to babies aborted
Christians were thwarted!
How someone with a thumbs up from the Ku Klux have anything to do with what the Lord did?!

Granted, the deed is done and hey the truth is out!
They were wolves in sheep's clothes till the Pres. Came out
in broad daylight
He basically made it awright
to grossly generalize a race AND do so in plain sight
Now ALL the racist crazy folk are poppin  at the mouth.
On social media like the 50's in the segregated south,
Spewing hate behind a screename sittin' on they mama's couch
'cept we millenials are rowdy and we'll roll up at yo house.
How's it 2017 and we still schoolin' folk?
Gotta tell you Black  lives matter cause you actin like we dont.
In retrospect, it was for the best cause now we ALL woke!

Dear feminism,
You're doing it wrong.
Showcasing your gender
in physical form
does not open awareness
of a woman's
mental
and
emotional
wealth.
It merely confirms
misogynist thoughts.
If you want
to make a point,
don't generalize your targets
as pigs.
Rather,
express what makes women valuable.
Men can be deeper
than your delusions
let you know.

----------

Dear homosexual male community,
I am repulsed
that people can
associate me
with you.
Emotion
or thought
or open-mindedness
or expressiveness
should not denote
****** orientation.
I love women to the point
that I am overly chivalrous;
why should me
being in touch
with my emotions
or being different
than the
'male status quo'
change my sexuality?

P.S. - Homophobia is fear of homosexuals,
not,
as you'd havepeople believe,
the dislike or refusal
to treat the act as natural.

P.P.S. - The way
you portray yourselves,
you are still straight,
you only prefer your
women
to have a ***** attached.

----------

Dear fellow men,
A lot of you are
perverted.
You focus on
superficial things;
the *****,
the rear,
the hair color,
the eyes,
the shape...
For what purpose?
It is the mind
and the personality
that matter most.
It is because of you
that women have
painted our gender
as monsters,
pigs,
rapists.
And many of you are,
because,
in your minds,
can the women give any consent?

You can only dream of
places I have been
Mentally,
All the things
I did for my family,
All they did,
instead of helping me,
Is trying to
put sense in me,
When I come to a point
Where I am
about to plead insanity,
A room of variances,
Out of body experiences,
Mental *******,
Heart full of spasms,
The ones
my past couldn’t fathom,
This ain’t a struggler’s anthem,
But I can’t help but,
Generalize,
And I can’t undermine,
That I felt heaven,
At least on my fingertips,
I found hope,
At the brink of disbelief,
Don’t blame the postman,
If you put the wrong address,
Life is a *****,
depending on how you dress her,
Let the broken glass,
Mess up the dresser,
Rosewood, Redwood, any wood,
If I could I would,
The more I clench my fists,
the more sand I loose,
But I choose not to,
just my screws,
My life is like a travelogue,
No just ticket needed just travel along,
Like a broken pen and a moleskin,
A DSLR and an eye to watch closely,
No backpacker,
Just a bad actor,
Modern day rye catcher,
Self financer ,
A mere puppet on the string,
That life hangs by,
finding questions to some bad answers,
Putting up with bad promise makers,
When a promise may curse,
Life is just a makeshift,
Life is what you make it,
Or make of it

LEAVE HATRED OUTSIDE MY DOOR
WHEN YOU COME IN*

this Notice boarded on my door
seems to have done little to impress.

the ones that come in
still read from the hate book.

speak ill of others behind their back
curse those they don't agree with
spew vitriol against all not their own
criticize food habits and dresses
castigate the new generation
find fault with the old
generalize on the basis of race religion
trifle faith belief sentiment
envy for what they don't have
intensely dislike assumed disabilities
even a squint a stammer a mole a limp

more passionate in degrading than appreciating
systems, processes, relations, actions, attitudes.

people won't mend, behind them i think,

they're so ****** disgusting.

Every time we, as people...as a group, think of a new category, a new classification, a new label, we further our own separation from each other. Every new name gives us a pre-conceived notion for us to pre-judge other people with.

All of us will be familiar with generational categorization. Millennial, Boomer, Gen X, Y, and Z...etc. We all say, "Millenials are spoiled and have it easy and complain too much," or "The Boomers ruined the economy because they're greedy," or "Gen Z is lazy and never knew anything that wasn't on a screen..."

These sayings, are all just easy ways out... lazy assumptions we can use to generalize one another so that we don't have to put in the effort it takes to actually care...

And yeah, caring is hard.
Truth is, we've all gotten lazy.

Every single "group" of people, has some of the most amazing, loving people you will ever meet, regardless of age, or anything. Love and hatred have no bias as to who you are, where you live, what you think, or when you were born.

Think about it.
It's so easy to see one person doing something selfish to us, and we immediately look at them, and label them according to our own biases, but we never stop to look at the many more people that don't do us wrong; Perhaps even the ones that help us out. When that happens to us, they're just...people.
When we're transgressed, those people become "they." **** them blank, **** those blank, Selfish blank.
And every time we allow these little events to affect us, we become more selfish ourselves... and the cycle goes on.

This doesn't just go for generations. It goes for political separation, gender identity, race, etc.

Every,
Single,
Name,
is an excuse for us to hate each other.
Fuel for the pyre that we ourselves, you and I are tied to.

We are all human. We are all kin. Every single one of us will bleed the same blood, and cry the same tears.
That ******* that cut you off in traffic may have been on the way to the hospital to catch the dying breath of his wife, son, daughter, father, mother, or friend just in time.

We need to stop seeing each other as they, or them.
We,
Are Us.

We,
Are the only people on this tiny little rock in space,
And if we allow ourselves to hate our kin, surely we will destroy everything we know and love.

We live in the age of being overfed with information no one asked for, and we allow this information to divide us as a people.

I don't care if you are Gen Z, Republican, Democrat, Millenial, Man, Woman, or anything in between...you are just like me. You bleed red and you have a heart and a soul that wants to be loved and to feel important and that you're doing the right thing.

There's a very simple solution to this epidemic of social divide.
Next time you feel like someone has wronged you, or done something wrong. Take a step back. Stop and think.
Benefit,
of,
the Doubt.

We need to love ourselves,
but more importantly,
We need to love each other just as much...
Because in the end,
Without each other,
we would just be alone, and lost.
We are meaningless without each other.

The world is sometimes dark and not all trees survive.  
I'm not saying this because you don't know this.
I'm saying it because, sometimes, I need reminding that it's not all good.
My tree of happiness is not struggling to grow,
Leaves of fake laughter making it look pretty.
You see, I have a tendency to overanalyze, overdramatize, over-generalize, looking for the good in everyone,
Wishing on stars that all the saplings will live and grow strong.
I guess I should be careful what I wish for.
I have a hard time coming to grips with the reality that life is not
Full of good people and good intentions and good reasons.
I put myself in everyone else's shoes, seeing justifications through
Their eyes, blind and full of dust though they might be.
Because even when elm and oak trees get sick and die, I plant new seeds
And even when I have to squeeze my hips too tightly into  
A child's swing set, I think I can still touch the sky
And even when I see lives cut short by guns, by drugs, by *****, abuse, suicide, gangs, cancer, hopelessness,
I don't really see the evil or the sorrow,
Only what could have been.
Only the Elysian Fields of immortal hopes and goals that now have a chance in somebody else's soul.
And even when my dreams are miscarried through open veins like exposed roots,
I feel joy.
Even when razors can't cut deep enough to remove my immediate tendrils and sprouts of pain,
Even when rivers of red on my legs don't rinse away my earthy, dark confusion,
I am happy. Deep inside,
I hope against hope that nothing will truly destroy my optimism.
Of course, as soon as I get out in the real, concrete, day-to-day, 9-to-5 (actually 8:30-to-3am) world,
I'm going to be crushed.
I'm going to find that seed of darkness and sorrow and pain that starts growing inside everyone.
From the time of our first skinned knee and broken promise, first heartbreak and the first time our dreams didn't come true,
The seed starts to grow.
I know I'll find mine eventually,
I think it's been mulched under  5 feet, 6 inches of forced smiles
And Sundays under that maple tree I could
Never quite climb.
The world is dark sometimes,
And not all trees survive.

“delete history”
I think it’s pretty gay for a bunch of sweaty queers
To be sharing spit w/ each other
In a ******* closet
I think my ***** smells like macaroni
I used to ******* to animals beign tortured
I used to tell my mom
Im not pretty
Im not pretty
throw rocks at your garage
"BAAAMMM"
It’s hard to come up with 4 things at once,
I want to play violin in a bathtub at 4 AM
Because 4am’s cool
And it’s not really night or morning
It’s just stinky
Im just a kid with their stinky feet on a splintered stool
Watching suite life of zack and cody
In a pair of boxers they/i haven’t changed for like 3 days
I have a bic pen bumper sticker tattoo on my ***
You made me **** your **** and feed your bunny
And you made me hate white boys
I generalize
I forget to feed my tortoise sometimes
I don’t forget to feed myself
Im not cool and skinny and white
Im fat and
I never forget to feed myself
I eat the stuff on my body
Im my own **** tree I beare my own fruits I think you
Should get used to how GROSS I am
I got heartburn
In all the wrong places
I got an ache below the waist
and a cold sore on my heart

This is especially written for you.
Out there.
For the colored girls.

The girls that are insecure with their lovely brown tint
in between the deep chocolate and lemon yellows.
you'll never hear the term red or yellow bone
You don't know what color your bones possess

The girls whose hair used to naturally curl but couldn't hold the press and curl long enough to feel like its meant for you to look like that all the time. So you agreed when your mama offered to relax your hair so you could relax too. That way even if you couldn't be as light as the mixed girls and the red bones, at least your hair could be as laid as theirs…

I'm writing this to the girls that weren't blessed with the hips nor *** black women are forever praised for. Questioning why our figures aren't as exotic as society tries to generalize. We aren't fit to be the token when we lack the true characteristics that are associated with our ancestors, right? I'm writing this for the tokens that have lost themselves in the crowds they've tried to fit into. Don't lose yourself forgetting to be you.

I'm writing this for every colored girl that questioned if she was beautiful, as I used to do. Always assuming  everything bad that happened was because you simply weren't light enough for good things to happen to you. No light girl, white girl priviledge. I'm writing this to resurrect all the ill feelings i've ever thought about my blackness before I realized it was okay to be so, in hopes that maybe I can ease a colored girl's mind when she feels like she's too black for the world.

This is for her.
The beautiful colored girl.

I now know why I get invested in people.
People are interesting. Interesting in the ways they talk, the ways they step, the ways they carry their shoulders as others pass by. People are quirky. Quirky... but not explainable. We all grow up in the same ways, but with our own little twists that seem to twist us too. People are ordinary... but so very unique. You can generalize all you want, but you'll never be able to describe two people in the same way. Not accurately, at least.
I now know why I get invested in people.
Everything is my own little case study. In my brain that works like a psychologist and makes sense out of the abstract and the patterns of people... everyone is my own little case study. I don't take down data. I don't try to fix people. I don't choose who becomes a case study... because everyone does, and that's just the way my mind wraps itself around the world.
I want to understand people.

Love isn't real.
Love doesn't exist.
Love is only in books and movies.
Love isn't in this earth.

There's so many ways to say it.
That love isn't real.
That love crushes everybody eventually.
That love isn't happiness.
That love is happiness.
That love does exist.

But it's only for some people that love does exist.
We cannot generalize.
Just because we are broken.
It's just not for some people.
And it just is for other people.

But in some worlds.
In my world.
Love destroys.

Love crushes souls and breaks bones.

Love
kills.

beautiful people out there and time so few
to acknowledge each and every one of them
and tomorrow  comes so urgently
without pause relentlessly
I wish to write each and every one of them
and tell them what beauty they bring
to me and how I feel
but
I have to generalize I guess
and suspect if I write this
they who  are deserving
will know
they glow
a little more
than they do
now

How do I start...?
This is hard for me...
I probably will only generalize from fear of being ostracized,....
Actually that's a ****** lie too...
not even sure wut I want to say,
Sometimes wut I really wanna say gets polluted by being convoluted cuz it's secondary and secluded
by trying to sound poetic, or smart
then the rest just gets... Included....
I'm not even sure of myself...
My ability....
My limits...
I might even say i find security in insecurity,
Jailed without bail by my emotions and I can't find assurity
Assuring me
a stay on the green mile where I sit, green with envy...
Envious of even ppl I love...
Almost hoping they fail so I'm not alone.....
how truly sick is that?
How could u ever call urself a decent person after thinking that????
And after i drown and drench this depression in drinks
Then dry it off with drugs...
It only gets moist again by the inevitable stream of tears
And u can only let urself down so many ****** times before u can't lie to urself anymore to feel like
..u haven't let everyone else down
And my friends and family can only say ..."I love u"so many times b4 they realize that I don't believe it....
Cuz how can they love me when I don't???
And I'm way past a cry for help
So it's not sympathy,
I don't need it
I have been blessed until now with the most beautiful things life has...
And maybe losing those things has fukked me up....
how do I start....
Ha...
how do I finish....
When I haven't even said anything worth reading....
I use to think I was a writer...
Now I question if I can even do that anymore...
I feel hopelessly dead inside,
and I love my son,
but I can't help feeling trapped, in a sea of failure,
I can't help hating my weak will,
My bad habits,
My lack of motivation
My physical appearance,
My physical appearance
My laziness
And who I've become, when who I was.....
Was so much better.....
My night terrors haunt me...
I miss ppl I shouldn't
I'm jealous of ppl I shouldn't be...
I idolize my godmother for her strength to commit suicide:...
I am everything I use to hate in
others....
I could go on forever
but I'm sick of hearing myself think in silence
Even the voices in my head annoys the **** out of me, and make me sick til I tell myself to shut up....
How do I end this...
....  From judgement of a talented literary point of view...
I can't end it....
Cause...
I never really started....

Cuz when it is your monkey,
And it is your circus...
It's depressskng feeling worthless
When even a clowns have a purpose

.....which is more than me

So often we see this colorful world in black and white; not out of generalization, but because we are curious of what’s beneath.

Beneath the gradients are newfound knowledge, for knowledge is comfort;

but beneath the blankets of recollection is a restless soul tugging away at the sun;

beneath ourselves lay vessels of blood connecting a sea of conscience;

beneath the tides an equal and opposite wave, pulsing through the veins of dimensions and forces beyond our grasp,
a testimony of the indescribable unknown.

Through curiosity we become overwhelmed, and do not wish to know more than what we can see.

So yes we generalize.
Funny how duality works.

Languish in Anguish

New age placing mental issues on a grand stage, Anxiety levels rise as if there is a hidden prize

Not to downplay those truly astray, arm chair doctoring without proctoring is an open diagnosis

No matter what we are taken to task, when hearing answers for questions we never ask unforeseen mysteries arise

Sunshine dull, life in a lull, like a boat facing storms with a paper hull, misguided information leads to neurosis

Imagined stress now duress, self-inflicted perjury, childhood time out takes a new route, too much for a biased mind to analyze

Do we have the might to resist this minor parasite? simple anguish easy to extinguish,new weight to great when lives are out of focus

No disgrace in finding one's own pace, caught in a flurry brings unknown worry, finding unchecked wisdom can often paralyze

Introspection can show our soul for closer inspection, mind's eye left open to contemplate, change not always a bad prognosis

No one at fault as if new labels being drawn from a mystical vault, real or imagined concerns often too much if we generalize

Tainted memories can often hemorrhage left alone become extra baggage, without guidance we often become our toughest opponents

Life doesn't always need deeper reason, inner truth not always personal treason, simple songs are still fine to harmonize

Current state not always something to contemplate,  many levels of a mental issue real or imagined should not leave us to languish in anguish, happiness not forever hopeless
R.C

"throw 'em in boxes; they
deserve nothing more than
that" Order 1: keep up with
He who tells me what to do.
we're here to serve, nothing
more for the condition, it's a
cycle and it's painful, but all
honest living comes from this.
"'generalize, condemn, utilize'
this is our only motto. laws stand
for all, not one, the individual is
inferior." Order 2: drink more
beer and learn not to relax. He
might be watching but i've grown
not to care. "no grey area, it's universal, believe me, i'm the UNIVERSALTRUTHFORALL" Order 3: don't operate under His code, mental slavery prone, reboot and reprogram, existkilldestroywhitebloodcellsreplacerepair(check) clean, clear.

Individual?
destruction imminent, hints of smoke

If one has dark skin and is light on the inside
they might be referred to as a coconut.
This is but one example
of how, we as humans,
categorize and generalize
our fellow man…
What is it when you are born white,
raised by SoCal junked-out hippies
(not the flower crowd)
who told everyone during your formative years
if we never discuss politics
or religion
we can be friends……
I was left with my maternal grandparents on some weekends
by these heathens
who happened to be devout
Protestants.
I sat very quietly,
hands folded in my lap
and listened to stories from the bible
and thought to myself
and the tender age of five
“Why doesn’t this god love me?”
“What did I do to Jesus to be forsaken?”
“I am just a child!”
anger followed………
Today, I find myself drawn to a dream
a paternal grandfather
born on a New Mexico reservation
that is completely abandoned
by any living relation,
leaving me to desire connection
to the greatest family mystery
for the Temple clan…….
No amount of reading text
or researching tribal life
can ever gift me
a relationship with an elder,
nothing I can do
will ever make me a part of that culture
and with this complexion,
I may not even be accepted
if I were to try and ask questions……..
this is me, building my own spirituality
with broken pieces
of family history –

When I die I do not want people to remember me as kind or caring or nice. I want people to remember me as I was, I want them to say, "that clutz tripped over everything and spilled something at least twice a day." I want people to say, "we would laugh till our stomachs hurt and our eyes were filled with tears." I want people to know me, and not just generalize who I was. I want people to remember me in a way that they can say, "She impacted my life." I don't want anything fancy, no posthumous festations, but I do want people to celebrate my life by remembering me for who I was and not who they wanted me to be.

There is a
Chuck Taylor black energy connecting  
Every one of my couch’s teens
But please don’t generalize a single spirit
And especially stay away from adjectives like
“angsty” and “misunderstood”
Never accuse them of such a cliché travesty
At such an age spotlighted syndrome  stage
The Sufjan Stevens song she brings in has the same yearning
That another’s canon snaps with trapped black and whites
That same shadow tangos with the forced-into-therapy-tween’s
faint scalloped smile lines
of times before, when she had not been hunting for her own identity
When she could spin around the willow
And not worry about her eyelet ******* peeking through
Then the cloud covered eighteen year old daisy
Drags amber strands across forehead while she murmers
Blame that oozes from her juvenile jawline, mirroring
The prior sweetheart that stormed out of my office at 3:00pm
Tawny strands across her wrist
And how could I ever forget the last string of fiber
Fierce and cross armed  
The last knot to the cat’s cradle of adolescent midnight string
“I know I will conquer my genetic hand”
She declares
Bubblegum harbored in fleshy cheek
Whiskers and all.

I hold sacred in my bones
The appendage I am in all of this
wide eyed need
And I let the walls absorb their sighs
Until, in awe I witness
the beauty in vulnerability  
Again

people who have the gift of sight are thankful for it, but are not kneeling down on ****** knees thanking God for such a beautiful gift of sight
if there was a way that i could thank God enough for sight, i want to know what it is.
i am beginning to appreciate all my senses but especially sight throughout these past three months
you may question what has happened
what did i see
what did i sense
what did i perceive
and i will tell you
but words cannot fully confess the magnitude
of beauty and love that i have discovered
when we sit down to think, we remember that the adjectives and words we use for emotions were created thousands of years ago and used to generalize feelings, and if i say i'm in love, you will never know what that means, because all humans love differently.
but i believe i have discovered my definitions of love and beauty, and they all pertain to you.
i never thought i would use the word beautiful to describe a boy, but that was the only way i could describe you, no other word matches up to what i think when i see you.
my eyes cannot drift away from the beauty of who you are, and while sitting there with movies on the screen i can't focus on because you're next to me, every moment i look at you i think to myself, i have found beauty.
i always questioned myself to what beauty was, what could beauty be defined as, where beauty can and cannot be found
and looking at you i am reminded of what it is
because you are pure raw beauty
a human who inside and outside is natural and real
who is effortlessly pretty, in every angle, emotion, or light.

there is no use talking about it. no one knows the cause of these tragedies, and pointing fingers will do nothing but hurt the community even further. it saddens me to hear those who can't possibly understand generalize and make assumptions because they have no idea how tough it is.

no idea.

don't tell me you understand how he felt, because you as well are stressed, and so that automatically puts you in the same situation. you are wrong. stress is a problem, but it is not the problem. i am finding flaws with the solution that has been proposed. sure, it is a great solution that will make all of our lives much easier. but it doesn't address the main cause of these horrible events. and the fact that no one sees this is what really makes me sad.

and it makes me even sadder that this has become normal.

I don't want to grow up in a Podunk hick-billy town,
but I don't want to be part of the white bread, corn cooking crowd.
I want to be respectable,
a spectacle.
someone that's out there, hiding in her dreams.
I don't want to generalize my sentiments.
but i don't want say i'm still free.
i don't want to stay on my rails,
but i don't want to make my own trails.
i want to be dependable,
all sensible.
recollectable from all of everyone's memory's

She was fully clothed but they still found a way to
Sexualize her
Generalize her
And make her feel uncomfortable with every step she took

Listen to the voice of woman
who speaks when she wishes,
who tells her story the way she wants it.

Listen to her fight.
She fights like a woman,
no weaker than a man.

Listen to her choose.
She chooses for herself,
and her choice is human.

Listen to her opulence.
A personable woman
who’s amiable to her own will.

Listen to a woman.
Listen to her describe herself
because I sure cannot generalize.

Drive-bys on the road
**** your darlings
I will put sunshine your shoals
Be on the shore of doubt, as we move to seas
The crossing distance between the hiatus and cars
Trailer park homes seem welcoming, in this jungle of fire
My heart's one and only desire is to love you
I hope I don't get lost in the wrong pyromania
Maniacal as it may seem, I want your conscious mind for me
To make my important decisions, relatable if it is
We will breathe with the breeze that freezes in between
Lost at the heralds of the emerald sea, shining like cerulean waters
I'm not sure, I want the fire of desire or the waters of peregrination
Journeyman follow my command, I guess I asked too much of you
Or of your lost hope, in this drowning breeze that flows in eddies and currents
Love is just a flowing desire, fluid like water and sordid like fire
The feeling is on fire, and the desire's the only real thing
I can't generalize really, you make the conclusive evidence of my lovely concepts
You're sure, that's me or you, in this world of roundabout cities and largest dreams
Circumference of this ring of fire is which is perfectly wrapped around my ring finger
Is this the old me, or am I looking for old ways
Passing through stores, and running looking for summer kool-aid
This summer smells nice, so does the stagnant dreams
Waiting to flower like blossoming buds, in a collection of hanging things
I'd list these thesis items down, but, they're too educated for my taste
It's my light, and shining it on the wrong people, is pretty much how a broken flashlight works
Words rhyme inadvertently with some intention, insane isn't it
That you agree with others and tell children to sit down
Might and dry winds change these crossing starry-eyed loner stoners
I base myself to disabuse the **** out of every situation
But, it's not in my purchasable items
Looking for weights to carry, and burdens too run away with
No machine, am I, I am dead just like the onus that can be apolitical at times
Love them two times
Love them three times
They just seem to fade with the count, like natural numbers
Patterned and woven like dreadlocks of legendary pathos
Little did I know, to do what I say as the money keeps me awake
That's the logic I follow, it's a statement without purpose
Bridling pots, I can't relate
The time's changing, so that's what they say?
This **** is cooked and raw, at the same time
Like woks on earth's water and fire, fiefdom asks for too much
Pertinently I ask for their grace
With petulance, I ask for favors
These aren't a few of my favorite things, at least they are temporary

The Ultimate Generalization


They generalize from failure—
That's the pattern, every time.
One truth cuts like a razor:
This whole world is filth and slime.

Under reign of devil's minions
It’s been twisted through the years.
What remains in their dominion?
Just a flicker, drowned in fears.

They now breed, like grains of madness,
New editions of the fool.
Is he sold-out ****?—With gladness!
No, he is the standard rule.

And the breed of Spirit-People
Fades in darkness, lost in dreams.
They were targeted and crippled
By those bloodless, silent schemes—

Many wars without a battle
Were unleashed to dim their light.
They’re not over. Hell will rattle
Till they rise again and fight.

Now the tipping point is over,
And the barrel cracks below.
Next—catastrophes like clover,
Hell’s abyss begins to grow.

Spirit—Fire: one ignition.
But Hell sweeps to burn the Flame.
Years ahead bring dark attrition—
Fools will shriek, consumed in shame.

Will the People of the Spirit
Find at last their sacred peace?
Not in peace—creation’s merit
Is to burn, rebuild, release!



---------------------




Fools Will Burn — the Fire Stays Pure.
Spirit Creates. That’s the Cure.



---------------------



“Thus Spoke Zarathustra…”

Zarathustra’s voice rang true,
They once called him wise one too.
“Listen inward — heed your light,
Only that will guide you right.

Only inner light reveals,
Truth that burns, and wounds, and heals.
Every answer lies inside —
Dawn is near, just let it rise.”

Now the world is Hell’s domain,
Lies pour down like acid rain.
When you find that flame — be still.
Only you can break that seal.

Give that key to none — it breaks.
Each soul has its own heartquakes.
Fools obey another’s chart —
Demons smile. That’s how they start.

Trusting them — you seal your pact.
Now you’re branded as their “sect.”
Horns won’t show — their game is stealth.
Lies: the weapons of their wealth.



---------------------




Your Light within — or Hell begins.
Trust the Herd — the Demon wins.



---------------------



Goblins

Goblins, beaten to the core —
Lies and violence, filth and war.
Darkness rules their daily mess,
Fear the root of their success.

Even goblins lie within,
Trapped in cycles, soaked in sin.
Homeless hearts and dead ideals —
Genocide behind the wheels.

Genocide — their holy code,
Driven by the demon’s load.
Even filth sits on the throne —
Slow decay to rot the bone.

Goblins, broken, dead inside,
Nowhere left for them to hide.
Satan’s land will bloom and grow
From the bones they’ll leave below.



---------------------




Goblins rot — and Hell will feast.
Satan sows them, bone by beast.



---------------------



Trash

What falls down is rarely lost —
Still, true worth has a real cost.
Most just carry worthless trash,
Raised by brutes, they talk like rash.

Rudeness shapes their education.
Pass that test — and your salvation
Is to feel, and think, and see —
Leave that junk to idiocy.

All true wealth lives deep inside —
See it now, with open stride.
Else you’ll vanish in the flood
Of dead trash and rotting mud.



---------------------




Inner Wealth or outer Waste —
Choose the Light, or rot in haste.



---------------------



Rams and the Not-So-New Gate

The gate’s not new — the same old path,
To slaughterhouse and steaming bath.
For meat and wool, the beasts are led
By hands that paint the threshold red.

They paint it bright, they stoke the flame,
You walk in smiling — just the same.
If food's your goal, then feast, be glad —
You're just a dish. And that is sad.



---------------------




The gate’s not new — it ends in fire.
You eat — and fuel the butcher’s choir.



---------------------



"Too Much Mind"? — More Like Too Much Rot

Old folks slip — it's fate, they say.
Fools get yoked and led astray.
When the mind’s a shattered pit,
All the world turns into ****.

Rare exceptions still survive —
But not long. The poisoned hive
Strikes at those who dare to see,
Pulling minds into the sea.
Go on — drown. No dignity.

If you float, they’ll twist your core,
Make you filth, a fool, a bore.
Strength runs dry in thinking men —
Stench and Fear and Shame again...

Fear for all. This circus show
Is a dumbed-down, shamed tableau.
Brains are cursed in such a land —
But this world’s time is at hand.

Soon it sinks, and none will weep,
For the crimes are foul and deep:
Fascist rage, the cult of death,
And dumb decay that chokes our breath.



---------------------




When the mind is feared and banned —
Only rot will rule the land.



---------------------



The Mirror

The “mirror” shattered —
Mind went dim, then died.
The core was scattered —
No more us inside.



---------------------




Mirror’s gone — and so are we.
Mind erased identity.



---------------------



The Mirror


The sacred mirror’s torn apart —
No mind, no flame, no guiding heart.
The Core is gone, the Light grew thin —
And “We” dissolved... where once had been.



---------------------




The mirror cracked — the soul withdrew.
No more us — just shadows through.



---------------------



The Mirror

The mirror cracked — the mind grew dim,
The Light within was crushed by him.
The Core is lost, replaced by Shade —
No us remains, just shadows made.



---------------------




Mirror broken, shadow’s throne—
Light is gone, we stand alone.



---------------------



The Mirror (Mystic Shadow)


The mirror shattered, soul undone —
The fading Light is overrun.
Within the Core, the Shadow wakes,
And swallows all the self it takes.

No more we, just drifting ghosts,
Lost between the spectral coasts.
The veil descends — the silent night,
Where shadows feast on vanished light.



---------------------




Shattered glass, the soul’s eclipse,
Shadow’s dance on ghostly lips.



---------------------



The Mirror

The mirror’s shattered — sacred glass,
Once held the soul’s reflected past.
Now Light dissolves, the Veil descends,
Where ancient Shadow never ends.

The Core, once bright — a mystic flame,
Extinguished in the silent game.
The rites forgotten, secrets lost,
The ghosts now wander, tempest-tossed.

No more us in twilight’s grip,
The self dissolves — a ghostly ship.
Through mystic halls where echoes fade,
The Shadow claims the soul it made.



---------------------




Shattered mirror, secrets drowned,
Shadow’s rites—no light is found.



---------------------



The Global Sheepish Auschwitz

Auschwitz closed — a new one’s built,
A stifling world for fools and silt.
A realm obsessed with “care” and pain,
Where sheep and cows get shots on chain.



---------------------




Auschwitz done — but still they herd,
"Vaccines" line the dumb and blurred.



---------------------



The Hellish Cycle of Sorcery

Scattered efforts, fractured mind,
Dullness follows, weak and blind,
Lost within a sea of lies—
Filth that blinds and never dies.

Entangled in the petty snare,
Survival’s trap, the cruel despair.
The method vile, the soul’s slow ****,
The Devil’s dance, relentless will.

This is Hell, the darkest night.
Dance to this or lose the fight.
Evil beasts will **** with ease—
Your soul’s last breath, a dying breeze.

Soullessness their sweet delight,
Their "life’s" aim, their endless blight.
Trust no fiend, but guard your mind—
Grow your thought, refuse the blind.

Intuition, sharp critique,
Are the weapons that you seek.
Against wild lies that spin and burn—
Hell’s own sorcery, its turn.



---------------------




Scatter minds — the Hell will rise.
Fight with thought — or soul dies.



---------------------



The Hellish Cycle of Sorcery

Fragments scattered, minds undone,
Splitting souls beneath dark sun.
From the abyss, the lies arise—
Filth that weaves a cursed guise.

Caught within the petty snares,
Bound by fear, the spirit fares.
This infernal, timeless spell
Binds the soul in shadowed hell.

Only those who dare to dance
With the flames of ancient trance
Stand against the creeping blight—
Guardians of the sacred light.

Soulless fiends embrace the dark,
Feeding on the spirit’s spark.
But the mind, sharp, clear, and bright,
Cuts the veil and claims the night.

Intuition’s mystic blade,
Critical thought, the shield they’ve made.
Breaking cycles, rending lies,
Rising where the shadow dies.



---------------------




Shattered lies and shadows bind—
Only light can break the blind.



---------------------



The Hellish Cycle of Sorcery (Mysteries of Passage)

Scattered shards of fractured mind,
Souls divide, then intertwine.
Through the darkened veil we pass—
Ancient rites within the glass.

Lies like shadows coil and creep,
Binding souls in endless sleep.
Yet the fire of trial burns,
Calling forth as spirit turns.

In the chamber of the night,
Where illusions lose their might,
Guardians stand with sharpened sight—
Keepers of the sacred light.

Through the death of old deceit,
And the heartbeat’s steady beat,
Mind and soul in trial’s dance,
Claim the path of true advance.

Intuition’s whispered flame,
Critical thought, the alchemist’s name.
Breaking chains of hellish lore—
Cross the gate, emerge once more.



---------------------




Through shadowed rites and fire’s breath—
Death of old, rebirth from death.



---------------------



The Hellish Cycle of Sorcery (Guardians of the Gates)

Shattered mind, like broken flame,
Through the fire, we shed the blame.
Waters wash the soul anew—
Cleansing lies that poison you.

At the gates, the guardians wait,
Silent watchers of our fate.
Spirits guide the trembling way,
Through the night to birth the day.

Lies like shadows coil and bite,
But the flame reveals the light.
Trial’s dance—a sacred art—
Breaking chains around the heart.

Intuition’s flame ignites,
Critical thought, the guiding lights.
Cross the threshold, shed the past—
Find the truth that will outlast.



---------------------




Fire cleanses, waters heal,
Guardians guide — the soul’s ordeal.



---------------------



The Hellish Cycle of Sorcery (Alchemy of the Soul)

Broken shards of shattered mind,
In the crucible we find
Fire’s wrath and water’s flow—
Alchemist’s sacred undertow.

Burn away the dross, the lies,
Smoke that blinds the spirit’s eyes.
From the ash, the soul reborn—
Through the night and breaking dawn.

Lead to gold, the mystic art,
Turning darkness into heart.
Trial’s flame refines the core—
Chains dissolve forevermore.

Guided by the inner spark,
Piercing through the deepest dark.
Thought and flame, the alchemist’s key—
Unlock the soul’s true alchemy.



---------------------




Fire burns, the soul refines,
Lead to gold through shadowed signs.



---------------------



The Hellish Cycle of Sorcery
(Alchemy of the Four Elements)

Shattered mind, the prima materia,
Lead within the dark hysteria.
Fire’s flame ignites the soul,
Burning dross to make it whole.

Water flows — the cleansing stream,
Washing lies from waking dream.
Air unfolds the dawning thought,
Breath of wisdom dearly bought.

Earth, the base that grounds the flight,
Shapes the spirit through the night.
Salt and sulfur, mercury,
Dance in alchemist’s mystery.

Through the furnace, dark and deep,
Spirit wakes from ancient sleep.
Trial’s fire and water’s wave,
Forge the soul the light will save.

Intuition, thought, and flame,
One within the mystic name.
Breaking chains, the self made free—
Soul transformed eternally.



---------------------




Fire burns and waters cleanse,
Air inspires, Earth makes sense.



---------------------



The Hellish Cycle of Sorcery
(Occult Alchemy and Mystical Rite)

Prima materia, dark and cold,
The base where all begins untold.
Leaden soul in shadow’s grip,
Bound by chains of ancient script.

Sulfur’s fire, the blazing breath,
Consuming lies and waking death.
Salt, the earth that grounds and binds,
Shapes the flesh and molds the minds.

Mercury, the fleeting soul,
Fluid, shifting, seeking whole.
Fourfold dance of earth and air,
Fire’s wrath and water’s care.

In the sacred circle drawn,
Underneath the veiled dark dawn,
Rites of old, the mystic flame,
Call the soul to shed its shame.

Transmute the dark to shining gold,
Break the curse of lies untold.
Through the furnace, through the veil,
Spirit’s light will rise and sail.

Intuition’s secret key,
Unlocks ancient alchemy.
Thought and flame as one shall be—
Soul reborn eternally.



---------------------




Lead to gold, dark into light,
Fourfold elements unite.



---------------------



The Fakir Sobered Up...

“The fakir was drunk, the trick failed tight...”
Nonsense, scams, and lies take flight.
Propaganda’s buzzing drones,
Feeding sweet on poisoned tones.

Stupidity, deceit, and fear —
Rot have spoiled the world’s veneer.
Sheep like heads upon the block,
Soon will end the clever flock.

The time is near. Tyrants erred —
Sheep and masters both will share
Breathless fate, the fascist lie,
Overflowing, doomed to die.

Judgment’s scale is tipping high,
Punishment will scorch the sky.
From the ashes, new world’s fire —
Burn the cells, sober fakir.



---------------------




Fakir sober, lies undone—
Sheep will fall, and so will ****.



---------------------



Drought

A single drop within the rain—
The fractal cosmos waits the strain.
The earth in need, by fools betrayed,
Their sweep begun, the plan is laid.

An age is born of that design,
No saving grace, no more divine.
The countdown starts, the fate is cast—
Salvation’s lost; it’s doomed to last.



---------------------




One drop lost — the drought begins,
Fools drag earth to fading sins.



---------------------



Expecting an Honest Search


To just make search — is that too much?
Does this world lack a simple touch?
What’s worth a world that’s just a pit?
Is this a world? Or just a sh*t?



---------------------




Search for truth? Just filthy lies.
This world’s a dump — no good disguise.



---------------------



The Hook and the Spinning Top

A fool’s attempt to grasp the horns,
For luck and vice in cursed forms—
But it’s just a hook, you see:
Caught ones silent, never free.

Young sheep from every shambling land
Know nothing of the hook’s command.
They spin around like tops in trap,
Till caught—then silence seals their wrap.

The whole world’s just a penned-in zone,
A twisted trap, a darkened throne.



---------------------




Caught on hooks, the fools just spin —
Silent sheep trapped deep within.



---------------------



From Hell to Hell...

To be born among the beasts—
Into hell so black and vast—
Mind will parch, the Spirit roast,
Lost within a savage blast.

Die—and yet another hell
Waits to pay the price of mad.
Only filth and foulness reign,
Only beasts leave marks so sad.



---------------------




From hell to hell, the spirit’s torn—
In filthy shadows, all is born.



---------------------



From Hell to Hell

To dwell amid the shadowed beasts,
In hell where light and reason cease—
The mind grows dry, the spirit burns,
Lost in wild delirium’s turns.

Death brings no rest, but darker gates,
A judgment forged in twisted fates.
Where only filth and foulness thrive,
And cursed souls alone survive.

No grace remains, no gentle breath—
Just endless night, eternal death.
A spiral down through shadow’s sea,
From hell to hell, no soul is free.



---------------------




Hell within, and hell without—
The soul’s lost path, the endless doubt.



---------------------



Pressure on Repeat

“The chains that form outside your soul
Are always slavery’s cruel toll.”
— Osho


The stench surges, off the scale,
A prison world, a fatal jail.
Your path is lost if fools you trust—
Disaster waits; betrayals ******.

You open doors to every lie,
And chances fade, you barely try.
In rotten lies, the shades abound—
Bright wraps, deceit in every sound.

Hot calls, tricks, and filth combined—
Even “geniuses” mislead the blind.
Not just years, but generations—
This flood of crap repeats its nations.

It’s on repeat, the crushing weight—
That’s how they ****, that’s how they bait.



---------------------




Lies repeat, the filth returns—
In their trap, the spirit burns.



---------------------



Tedious Suicide

Poets **** themselves —
Their souls still sing inside.
Such chances come —
Unnumbered, far and wide.

Suicide is dreadful,
But life’s worse still.
To speak between the stumps—
Is that your will?

I don’t care — I speak aloud,
Though life winds to its end.
Will I break free?
Fate curses every friend.




---------------------



Goals and Outcomes

Souls destroyed—the goal of rule,
Slaves remain, the system’s tool.
Chains of lies bind all the blind,
No escape for twisted mind.

If the mind is warped and cold,
Only flesh has truth to hold.
In this hell that’s dark and real,
Fate is harsh—no chance to heal.

Soulless masses fill the space,
God is gone, no saving grace.
End is near, a new abyss—
Low and dark, a final kiss.

This hell comes, Earth won’t survive,
Slaves reject the Spirit’s drive.
Soon we’ll face the heavy fall—
Waiting now for doom to call.



---------------------




Souls crushed, lies bind the blind—
No escape for broken mind.



---------------------



The Mark of Fiends

All around is rotting death... What steps remain?
No steps at all — just flee the shame!
The fiends’ loud slogan: “Fools, beware!”
So dull it is — pour venom there!

Flee the shame, abandon disgrace:
The cursed fiends infest this place!
Lift up your poisoned gaze above—
Eons of fools trapped in false love!

So clear to see — it’s all a lie,
But fight with life, or let it die!
If sacrifice is not your way—
You carry fiends’ mark day by day.



---------------------




Rot surrounds — no steps to take,
Fiends' false words — a venomed fake.



---------------------



Death Will Calm

Having walked through Hell,
Don’t believe, don’t think—
You’re not a fiend—
Die without a blink!

Had enough of all?—
Then die with grace!
Drop the whining—
Death calms the race...



---------------------




Through Hell’s deep flame,
Die proud, no shame.