Hello Poetry
Submit your work and get some sparkles! Create free account
"critiqued" poems
Abstract: And (why?) thus, is all I know so far. the *question which is never easy to ask has an *answer which is never easy to swallow between introduction and conclusion lies a happy marriage of one jolly void and one fuzzy wish list via (this) credibility and (that) validity of all the methods jammed in a rainbow of paradigms and databases a qualitative doubt vs a quantitative solution critiqued to death is not always a one way topic but the only way forward (to prove!) I can smile but I am not allowed to fear nor like, nor hate, nor presume, nor love my finding although I desperately cling to a forbidden bias (reference this!) passion is a dangerous domain (I googled it)
0
Feb 18, 2019
Feb 18, 2019 at 2:15 PM UTC
Re*search (A systematic literature review)
The acoustic guitar plays softly, in the background of a critiqued ball room as he made his entrance. The attention of the audience fell upon him; As he walked readily towards the dance floor, The melody of the flute and the rhythm of the bass guitar, Dramatized his beauty. The spectators in fear, but his passion so real, As I stared into his eyes, that made beauty felt unreal everything else that surrounded me disappeared. He focused his eyes on the dance floor they began to whisper; Who will he choose? Who has to leave now? He flashed his eyes upon the viewers that were once in shock, now in terror, but their ****** expression in awe. The apothegm states that he continually seeks for the one that would heal his disease but bound to the power of the earth’s forces, his determined, stunning eyes will never be able to reveal, the secret one that can heal. The bass drums play wildly as he shows the crowd his fury. The once stunned viewers now begin to panic, but I draw myself closer. Before I could reach him someone else got in the way. “I would like to die” was the words I know her to repeatedly say. He gently pushed himself away in anger. He looked around the ball room, and observed the reaction of the audience to his response. They’re now in astonishment. He then stopped and his focal point was clear. The piano and the cello played softly to become one with his voice. He said to me “let us dance.” I’m frightened, the majority of the onlookers left in a daze. My vision weakened before our dance began. He smiled, and as he looked upon my face all the instruments faded away. He said to me is this your last dance? Will you leave us tonight? I’m the kiss of death will you close your eyes forever or will you leave me in delight?”
0
Nov 19, 2009
Nov 19, 2009 at 9:39 AM UTC
Let's Dance
The acoustic guitar plays softly, in the background of a critiqued ball room as he made his entrance. The attention of the audience fell upon him; As he walked readily towards the dance floor, The melody of the flute and the rhythm of the bass guitar, Dramatized his beauty. The spectators in fear, but his passion so real, As I stared into his eyes, that made beauty felt unreal everything else that surrounded me disappeared. He focused his eyes on the dance floor they began to whisper; Who will he choose? Who has to leave now? He flashed his eyes upon the viewers that were once in shock, now in terror, but their ****** expression in awe. The apothegm states that he continually seeks for the one that would heal his disease but bound to the power of the earth’s forces, his determined, stunning eyes will never be able to reveal, the secret one that can heal. The bass drums play wildly as he shows the crowd his fury. The once stunned viewers now begin to panic, but I draw myself closer. Before I could reach him someone else got in the way. “I would like to die” was the words I know her to repeatedly say. He gently pushed himself away in anger. He looked around the ball room, and observed the reaction of the audience to his response. They’re now in astonishment. He then stopped and his focal point was clear. The piano and the cello played softly to become one with his voice. He said to me “let us dance.” I’m frightened, the majority of the onlookers left in a daze. My vision weakened before our dance began. He smiled, and as he looked upon my face all the instruments faded away. He said to me is this your last dance? Will you leave us tonight? I’m the kiss of death will you close your eyes forever or will you leave me in delight?”
Continue reading...
1
He drew a figure eight on my spine, absentmindedly, and traced the nape of my neck with his fingertip when he said, “You are beautiful to me.” But the ellipsis in the silence spoke louder than he did, and the look in his eye was not born because I was lovely; It was not because he loved me. A thing too small for love- But far too large to be lust; Simple. Ugly. He looked at me like he was hungry. So sweetly he critiqued each curve, every line, blurring my edges with the images of every bent perception pulled from the mire of his mind; and I could not satisfy Pretty innocence diminished in the grip of his vice, Pressed tight against my body, despised in dark eyes. I am not the inhuman creatures you contrived in the middle of the night. I am not the feminine expression of your ********* pride. What a wicked crime, to take a woman’s body and leave the woman behind.
0
Oct 23, 2017
Oct 23, 2017 at 3:29 PM UTC
Don't leave me behind.
I want you… I want you instinctually and primitively. Spiritually and physically. I want to give you portions of me that I’ve never shown anybody; that will become distinctively yours - recognizable only to you and you alone. I want to submerge you in a realm of ******** gentleness that perpetuates an aggressive kindness, that stimulates, and soothes every aching, yearning, desire that flows through your body. Continuously… I’m telling you what you already knew, that I will always be there for you, and you will never again feel alone or abandoned. I  want to give you complete and total satisfaction. I want you and every little idiosyncrasy that makes you unique, that others have critiqued, because they didn’t understand. I want to show you that I can… I want to dwell in the depths of your being. I want to unravel your complexity. I want to give you vibrations in the form of a currant that arouses sensationally, at a frequency that makes you hum melodies of ecstasy uncontrollably as you call out for me. I want to initiate an explosion of soft convulsions from the warmth of my mouth penetrating every inch of your body rhythmically. I want the waters from the spring of your masculinity to drown me, and then I want you to save me. I want to embrace you each night and wrap you in between soft warm thighs, and welcoming arms under moonlight, until your torso is wet, drenched with sweat, until each kiss drips from the tip of your lips, and I caress your back with my fingertips. I want to make love to you the way an angel would if she could. I want to show you heaven and ethereal visions without limita-tions or specifications.   I want to give you happiness and pleasure unparallel, unlike any-thing either of us has ever felt, seen, or could create in our dreams. I want to protect you from harm beneath my wings. I want you to believe in me… I want you to come into my life.
0
Sep 1, 2010
Sep 1, 2010 at 7:21 PM UTC
Come Into My Life
I want you… I want you instinctually and primitively. Spiritually and physically. I want to give you portions of me that I’ve never shown anybody; that will become distinctively yours - recognizable only to you and you alone. I want to submerge you in a realm of ******** gentleness that perpetuates an aggressive kindness, that stimulates, and soothes every aching, yearning, desire that flows through your body. Continuously… I’m telling you what you already knew, that I will always be there for you, and you will never again feel alone or abandoned. I  want to give you complete and total satisfaction. I want you and every little idiosyncrasy that makes you unique, that others have critiqued, because they didn’t understand. I want to show you that I can… I want to dwell in the depths of your being. I want to unravel your complexity. I want to give you vibrations in the form of a currant that arouses sensationally, at a frequency that makes you hum melodies of ecstasy uncontrollably as you call out for me. I want to initiate an explosion of soft convulsions from the warmth of my mouth penetrating every inch of your body rhythmically. I want the waters from the spring of your masculinity to drown me, and then I want you to save me. I want to embrace you each night and wrap you in between soft warm thighs, and welcoming arms under moonlight, until your torso is wet, drenched with sweat, until each kiss drips from the tip of your lips, and I caress your back with my fingertips. I want to make love to you the way an angel would if she could. I want to show you heaven and ethereal visions without limita-tions or specifications.   I want to give you happiness and pleasure unparallel, unlike any-thing either of us has ever felt, seen, or could create in our dreams. I want to protect you from harm beneath my wings. I want you to believe in me… I want you to come into my life.
Continue reading...
20
Stay you Stay true Change not Others has been in your shoes and got talked about and criticized too! Be different. Why be the same? Even twins hates dressing the same way. Others has faced comments for being different Critiqued for drawing attention by those seeking control. Muhammad Ali, totally tested authority of rules. Got talked about by the same kinds crying about your sportsmanships of being different. Stay being Cam. When others cries about your ways. Goe Rhett Butler and say, you don't give a **** James Harris, Warren Moon and Jefferson Street Joe Gilliam all went before you. And was questioned about being a quarterback too! Notice if let to some you be playing a different position. Doug Williams, changed all that when he became the first Superbowl winning quarterback. Sure you could cave in and pretend the act of a Russel Wilson simply to be liked. But being Cam is what you most in life should always be like? Cause the press media doesn't pay your bills at night.
0
Feb 2, 2016
Feb 2, 2016 at 12:41 PM UTC
Being Cam
***perhaps if you are one of the few multiyear variates,   still here, still seeking solutions to the equations of human formulation, one of the veterans of the early word wars, when the line between fellow poet and human being was full of invitational openings, tween those dots and dashes, we all eagerly entered those places, crossing over into those human openings, making poets into friends***^ yes, we were social for the humanity patented in the very word social we encouraged, we critiqued wearing a flag made from the fine fabric of fellowship, crossing global borders and time zones, even planets, with only a hand-made poetry passport constructed from the tissues of our hearts each one of us, A Little Prince, lost from other worlds, but all found ourselves together in a hospitable desert so strange, we found companionship, genuine in ways that make me weep when I recall it, so many aviators, flying low, neath the radar screen, speaking one language of a thousand dialects the networking was spontaneous, friendships formulated, real hugs exchanged, no ulterior purpose, no quantity of glory sought, no favors traded, there were friends, not followers, just sharers we valued the first amendment of our lives, the right to speak freely in poetry ***I wish you had been there, here, back then***
0
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015 at 8:21 AM UTC
You Weren't There: The Early Days of HP
I don't remember the first song ever made I was not there to taste the sweet marmalade dripping to this earth like rain in September when it rained out from the afterbirth of The first clever musical endeavor. It was not i. I was not the first to sit back And rap my knuckles Or tap my feet to the sweet rhythm Of chirping cricket orchestrals All written on the spot and never Even thought about again. Like secrets Carried to the grave of every short lived section Of six legged minstrels. It wasn't you either. Just like you weren't the first to be inspired By a cone spiders spiraling spire Of a trap set for all music makers. I was not the first to hear the melody But if I could've been, I probably wouldn't have taken it to memory Or woken from my revelries Because not everything new to me Is the most beautiful flower you'd ever see. But I could never rouse a lie like one that states I wouldn't hum it off handedly later when The sun went to wake the other side of the world. And the orchestra whirled and settled into their Whittled orchestra seats. I wish I was there. I wish I was the one who first Was stricken speechless amid giving countless speeches when they first heard a cricket chirp in time with a meadowlark. and Sparks danced amid the silence, Too humble to adhere a single silhouette of sound or even hint at the presence of an audience. The sound wasn't meant to have applause Or be critiqued of its brilliance. Because it was the beginning Of the resilience of the never ending sound we call Music.
0
Oct 2, 2012
Oct 2, 2012 at 3:19 AM UTC
The first Song
I don't remember the first song ever made I was not there to taste the sweet marmalade dripping to this earth like rain in September when it rained out from the afterbirth of The first clever musical endeavor. It was not i. I was not the first to sit back And rap my knuckles Or tap my feet to the sweet rhythm Of chirping cricket orchestrals All written on the spot and never Even thought about again. Like secrets Carried to the grave of every short lived section Of six legged minstrels. It wasn't you either. Just like you weren't the first to be inspired By a cone spiders spiraling spire Of a trap set for all music makers. I was not the first to hear the melody But if I could've been, I probably wouldn't have taken it to memory Or woken from my revelries Because not everything new to me Is the most beautiful flower you'd ever see. But I could never rouse a lie like one that states I wouldn't hum it off handedly later when The sun went to wake the other side of the world. And the orchestra whirled and settled into their Whittled orchestra seats. I wish I was there. I wish I was the one who first Was stricken speechless amid giving countless speeches when they first heard a cricket chirp in time with a meadowlark. and Sparks danced amid the silence, Too humble to adhere a single silhouette of sound or even hint at the presence of an audience. The sound wasn't meant to have applause Or be critiqued of its brilliance. Because it was the beginning Of the resilience of the never ending sound we call Music.
Continue reading...
40
**** you society For making people believe That there is a certain way to live and breath Everyone is the same, there is no variety You outcast those for rioting And living their life defiantly What gives you the right to judge me You are not god almighty You are the reason for my anxiety And loss of sobriety And visits to the psychiatry But I stand in protest finally I will no longer sit quietly And let you decide unjustifiably What I should be Your judgment makes people feel insecure Why do you believe that everyone has to be similar Why don't you understand that no one is perfect Why do I have to conform to your culture to earn respect Why is money the only way to achieve success Every person lives just like the next This makes me feel so depressed **** you, I chose to be unique I refuse to live a life that's boring and bleak My life does not need to be critiqued Your approval will not bring relief Happiness is key I will live happy and free
0
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 12:27 AM UTC
The Trapped Poet
A pen and a cup, they are my seed, to withstand a filthy need, and to fulfill an empty creed. Just hold me in your eyes. For it is quite, a rare sight, to witness a Sunday Smile. Waking up to the cold air again, grasping hold of me again, and the fire is gone. The wind shuffling the pages of my life, but I think I’m a little more stable now. The frequent cheap, empty talks don’t bother me as much. The songs you taught me, stuck longer than the religion you sought for me. Just hold me in your eyes. For it is quite, a rare sight, to reach a Sunday Smile. I stand still until, the day gives me the words I’m looking for. Feels like a collection of meaningful drunk words. Whenever I look down, I see my weary conscience, waving hello in a shallow puddle. Just hold me in your eyes. For it is quite, a rare sight, to feel a Sunday Smile. Although I’ve never toured the universe, forward or reverse, I have witnessed pale truth, in a life of epilepsy. She introduced me to the world, through a Polaroid view, as she critiqued my life of solitude. Just hold me in your eyes. For it is quite, a rare sight, to hold onto a Sunday Smile.
0
Feb 6, 2013
Feb 6, 2013 at 1:22 PM UTC
A Sunday Smile
There is a very large difference Between critiquing something And bullying someone Critiquing helps a poet grow KINDLY suggests new ideas The poet could consider But in reality Someone's critiquing Is not necessarily "the right way" Because NO poet Is superior To others So any critiquing Is allowed to be accepted Or ignored That is up to the poet Who is being critiqued And they are perfectly within their right To ignore the critiquing Or to listen to it And anyone Is within their right To RESPECTFULLY Critique another's work (Unless they specifically ask them not to of course, some just write for themselves and to express emotions, not to grow as a poet and that is perfectly okay.) BULLYING Is critiquing another IN AN UNKIND FASHION in a self-important, cruel, egotistical, pathetically self-righteous fashion Critiquing SHOULD NEVER hurt another's feelings Or harm their emotions There is no such thing as "too sensitive" You are not allowed to judge anyone else For their level of sensitivity That is not for you to analyze And that just makes you A horrible pathetic MEAN person If you have hurt them It is YOUR FAULT even if you didn't mean to and honestly, I have been at fault before for that too but it is then YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to fix it to try to apologize to explain what you meant in a kinder way and recognize your opinion which you are entitled to but your opinion is not the only one and it is not necessarily RIGHT.
0
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 2:11 PM UTC
Critique vs. Bullying
I wrote a piece for class and had it critiqued, all about how I can't remember Eddie's voice and can't ask his parents for videos to keep from digging up their pain. Today I found a flash drive, one I can't place in mind. Popped it in, and tears leaked to my chin because there sat video file after video file of Jake, Dennis, Eddie, and me on birthdays and outings, at the archery range. It's strange that the voices are young but I can hear him, I can hear him, I can remember
0
Oct 21, 2014
Oct 21, 2014 at 7:50 PM UTC
Not a poem
When we are born we are born to be made, Shaped like clay from the confines of the universes hands. Like art. And like art we are critiqued, And like art we become, Until our colours, thoughts, behaviours form, And we are human, We are all in one piece, And these people stand and these people stand and give their verdict, And these people stand and extend an invitation to us, an invitation that tells us to now be a "Starry night" instead of a Picasso painting,  although they don't know even Starry night had their Picasso days. And these people stand as they extend their arm, capturing the essence of our being on the street, when sometimes our clay is soft, or when the paint bleeds from us. But our arms and wrists can bleed, But our minds are told it cannot, With the exception of one day to ask: "Are you okay?" But by then I'm already in the kiln, and already dried to the bone, Because I am an artist, And i will shape myself again.
0
Sep 26, 2018
Sep 26, 2018 at 7:39 PM UTC
Masterpieces of our own
200,000 200 K 200 thou Reads as of today I wrote of Orion And silly sleigh rides Wrote about hometowns And passionate nights ****** damnable wars And narcissistic politicians Wrote sorrowful elegies Extolled the human condition Offered odes to loved ones And critiqued the powerful Celebrated the splendor of nature And children most wonderful Honked loud about jazz And hot improvisation Poked fun at the MoMA Held deep blue introspection We got many more reads Than actual likes I’m growing concerned That I have more dislikes But here is one more Silly trite poem I hope you like it You can read it at home Thanks for all your support…. Simon and Garfunkel Poem on the Underground Wall Love Mac….. Oakland 5/23/16
0
May 26, 2016
May 26, 2016 at 12:58 PM UTC
200,000 Reads
I feel naked in your eyes skinned, dissected, analyzed like you already know my thinking, my secrets, the things I hide even from myself. You must already know I'm a worrier, and I get high on anxiety like it's my ******* job. You know that sometimes I make myself eliminate my meals in unhealthy ways to avoid love handles. I'm almost positive that you know I feel naughty when alone at night and ease my frustration while thinking of your body. Your probing eyes must see my weaknesses, how I am only a human, a little girl who can not stand to be disliked yet will not accept affection. Those eyes have seen my fears and insignificant dreams, like how I wanted to teach immigrants to speak American and give my organs to small, sick children. Your mind must have some opinion of it all, all of me, my characteristics and problems and how they mate to create my personality and mannerisms. I feel so judged and critiqued under your scientific stare, but the way your eyes stay still and barren, void of all emotion makes me feel that you are an epicenter of passion that craves to bite into my skin and I want to let it happen.
0
May 18, 2012
May 18, 2012 at 10:45 PM UTC
Pleasurably Uncomfortable
“*I suppose I will never lead the ordered life my father led. And I’ll never live in the kind of house he lived in, with its rituals, its dignity, the smell of polish.*” Leonard Cohen <> the orderly of an individual life, guided by the guardrails of family life, superimposed upon it by a calendar of religion, that layers into you with a cyclicality of communal ritual, that rules, guides, tides and hides you subliminally, the individual, in ways that forever alters how one comprehends the meaning of belonging the oven~heated, banging smells of the kitchen, the hubbub, frantic sounds of a Sabbath eve prepping, vacuuming house cleansing, far more than just a cleaning, the young boys in their jackets, white shirts, for Friday night candle lighting, the girls in Sabbath frocks, assisting Mother, but by Saturday morning sermon time those boy’s shirts were always untucked, sweaty and always less white, from running around outside synagogue from playing Ringolevio, for which you were justly critiqued by a mother’s glare-stare this play-within-a-play poem, played out in homes nearby, for community was very defined by geography, and the candles of Sabbath oft visible in every home as Fathers & sons returned home from Friday Night services where the Sabbath’s peace was welcomed like a new bride. but the knowledge that this scenario was occurring in homes around the world in almost identical custom, lent a larger perspective to even the youngest, of a belonging As for me, I passed on that life, not as well as it was given to me, but as best I could, or honestly, desired, but because I the individual inherited these ways, words, knowledge and sensations and deemed failing to transmit would be a grievous denial of a heritage were I to not gift them this order, the dignity of these rituals, the pungent smell of a polished home, a life of intuiting belonging, be longing.
0
Feb 18, 2024
Feb 18, 2024 at 10:09 AM UTC
“I suppose I will never lead the ordered life my father led.”
“*I suppose I will never lead the ordered life my father led. And I’ll never live in the kind of house he lived in, with its rituals, its dignity, the smell of polish.*” Leonard Cohen <> the orderly of an individual life, guided by the guardrails of family life, superimposed upon it by a calendar of religion, that layers into you with a cyclicality of communal ritual, that rules, guides, tides and hides you subliminally, the individual, in ways that forever alters how one comprehends the meaning of belonging the oven~heated, banging smells of the kitchen, the hubbub, frantic sounds of a Sabbath eve prepping, vacuuming house cleansing, far more than just a cleaning, the young boys in their jackets, white shirts, for Friday night candle lighting, the girls in Sabbath frocks, assisting Mother, but by Saturday morning sermon time those boy’s shirts were always untucked, sweaty and always less white, from running around outside synagogue from playing Ringolevio, for which you were justly critiqued by a mother’s glare-stare this play-within-a-play poem, played out in homes nearby, for community was very defined by geography, and the candles of Sabbath oft visible in every home as Fathers & sons returned home from Friday Night services where the Sabbath’s peace was welcomed like a new bride. but the knowledge that this scenario was occurring in homes around the world in almost identical custom, lent a larger perspective to even the youngest, of a belonging As for me, I passed on that life, not as well as it was given to me, but as best I could, or honestly, desired, but because I the individual inherited these ways, words, knowledge and sensations and deemed failing to transmit would be a grievous denial of a heritage were I to not gift them this order, the dignity of these rituals, the pungent smell of a polished home, a life of intuiting belonging, be longing.
Continue reading...
46
*I wrote poetry for me for my eyes only to be read and critiqued and pulled apart by moi but now they are being shared read by anyone who cares and some that don't does this affect my mime or style does it cause me to curb or edit my words,* overdone *this gives a new meaning to my writing,* for sure *but will it be for the better or for the worse*
0
Aug 17, 2012
Aug 17, 2012 at 9:17 PM UTC
Poesy Guise
The Artist waits, breathing deeply, Pencil poised above the paper. Images grip her, alluring her to tell their story. Battles rage ‘tween fearsome pirates, horses race from untold horrors, Magic glitters on a fairy’s pale hand. And she fumbles with her pencil, And soon crumbles up her latest attempt at A Masterpiece. Everything’s been done before, everything’s so simple, Nothing is dramatic, detailed enough To soothe the artist’s longing To go further in her art than she has ever gone before. Then it hits her, hits her hard, And she awakes from her reverie with a start. It’s all fake. It’s not real. The things she dreamed up with her mind, but loved with all her heart. Everything she’s shaped… given life… Everything she draws… or reads… or writes, It’s not real. Just some stupid Fantasy. She sits there, sighing deeply, Paper blank before her eyes. But she then realizes, Abruptly, That then, without a doubt, Those things may not be real, but for her they’re really there! All the art that she’s critiqued and All the worlds she’s created, Serve a Purpose. They help to soothe an Artist’s troubled heart.
0
Apr 28, 2010
Apr 28, 2010 at 3:11 PM UTC
The Artist's Tale
I get lost in my work. Hungry again, I note. The cycle restarts. Better this time, I hope. I find some good food, Making sure to choose carefully, And snag my water, An essential, soon, you’ll see. I avert my gaze— I fear they’re all eyeing me— And sit myself down For a ritual eternity. Many meals are Hell; My body a warzone. What you’ve learned to nurture so Still hates you to the bone. I accept this task I must master; ‘Twas not a choice I made. It’ll stick with me for life; ‘Cause it’s one my genes gave. The first taste is bliss, But most bites bring pain quickly. Size portions correctly; So tired of feeling sickly. Pain sears my throat, So, I chew with vigor. The swelling is fast; I pray my water’s quicker. The drink spells relief, But every bite’s anxious, Every swallow torment; Each pause between captious. Another meal unfinished; bitter defeat, The peace remains unreachable. I craved it so badly, and I was so close, Now it looks repulsive; uneatable. I check the scale once more, So, skinny I remain; Been mocked and critiqued For weight, unable to gain. I am Sisyphus ‘til sated, The table is my hill, Sustenance my stone, And my mind is my will. I get lost in my work. Hungry again, I note. The cycle restarts. Better this time, I hope.
0
Jan 31, 2025
Jan 31, 2025 at 8:18 PM UTC
Sisyphus’ Satiation
I wish i could just hit you with this writers block.. its the only solid thing that remains on my watch, besides the useless clock and you telling me to stop so i act not positive but only for the thought of my cause. turning rights into wrongs for the darkness is comfort, barrying my head in the dirt So i could think from down under. forgetting where thunder comes from i throw the block over my shoulder and continue to silently soldier my way threw this old curse of lost words.. I've never asked them why it hurts. Just continue to suffer hopen these verbs will work them selves out with an open stir from the colapse of my souls worth.. living dead i relapse on the feeling of hearing some critiqued work. So i write from another artists eyes, relizing the potential of my vocal instrument on a low pitch cure. EARTHH BOUND
0
Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013 at 5:18 PM UTC
Earth Bound
I’ve been a cracked soul walking on whole concrete tar black soles slappin rapidly under weary feet.. the slaps are getting old but still, they repeat, they repeat.. like energizer bunnies, beatin deep on the ground beneath.. the sounds drummin off the walls, comin back, an rattlin my teeth.. I added a couple curses and spit it back rattling the streets.. that day I became a shell of a man walkin on cracked concrete Cerebellum in hand scratchin my head hopin for thoughts to leak.. caught me starin again, eyes open to the sky, posing like an artful greek.. had this eerie feeling inside, tellin me my soul is an authentic antique.. but I still got uncomfortable when my current eugenics got critiqued.. I’m awed and terrified at what’s to come in my last couple a hundred weeks.. but I knew someday I wanna see laughter passin over a couple of my childrens cheeks.. So that day I began to be a whole man, soul searchin and walkin on my own two feet.. I started off by scratchin words furiously on a tattered old blank sheet.. but I don’t do it purposely to get my name on a brightly lit, white, and gold marquis.. it’s just this is the only voice I’ve got to spit a Kodak picture of my soul for free.. so my hands dance out a thousand words on paper.. every moment, a snapshot of “me”.. I rush to gather the images before they drown in reality like hazy morning dreams.. they stand up as living proof of who I am so I frame em for this crazy world to see.. cause today I stand on solid ground with well planted feet, as the man my family always wanted me to be.. I am the conqueror of both whole, and cracked concrete!!
0
Aug 6, 2010
Aug 6, 2010 at 1:52 AM UTC
A broken soul on whole concrete
I’ve been a cracked soul walking on whole concrete tar black soles slappin rapidly under weary feet.. the slaps are getting old but still, they repeat, they repeat.. like energizer bunnies, beatin deep on the ground beneath.. the sounds drummin off the walls, comin back, an rattlin my teeth.. I added a couple curses and spit it back rattling the streets.. that day I became a shell of a man walkin on cracked concrete Cerebellum in hand scratchin my head hopin for thoughts to leak.. caught me starin again, eyes open to the sky, posing like an artful greek.. had this eerie feeling inside, tellin me my soul is an authentic antique.. but I still got uncomfortable when my current eugenics got critiqued.. I’m awed and terrified at what’s to come in my last couple a hundred weeks.. but I knew someday I wanna see laughter passin over a couple of my childrens cheeks.. So that day I began to be a whole man, soul searchin and walkin on my own two feet.. I started off by scratchin words furiously on a tattered old blank sheet.. but I don’t do it purposely to get my name on a brightly lit, white, and gold marquis.. it’s just this is the only voice I’ve got to spit a Kodak picture of my soul for free.. so my hands dance out a thousand words on paper.. every moment, a snapshot of “me”.. I rush to gather the images before they drown in reality like hazy morning dreams.. they stand up as living proof of who I am so I frame em for this crazy world to see.. cause today I stand on solid ground with well planted feet, as the man my family always wanted me to be.. I am the conqueror of both whole, and cracked concrete!!
Continue reading...
22
Consulting with my Sculptor I critiqued His use of clay To create my well carved features In such a careful way: My eyes are held in hollowed Holes of hardened clay Though the hue be not hallowed They’re heavenly all the same. This nose be a beautiful bridge Baked by bronze- brown clay Unbroken by blows for blood Breeze brings sweet bouquets Mighty words are measured From a mouth made of clay I mix at my leisure My mouth is untamed While my hips are not the widest Of Wonders won with clay While my waist is not the finest Wand whittled for display My frame is  flawless and free Formed by flowing clay Flimsy words find their way to me And fall on futile way As I am an amazing art piece And I am allowed to say I acknowledge that my Artist Has a way with clay
0
Sep 22, 2016
Sep 22, 2016 at 8:21 PM UTC
Clay
What I write may sound deep But it's real life What I write may be critiqued But it's real life What pushes me to do this What motivates me to do this Pain did Without pain, I wouldn't be here Without pain, I wouldn't bother Even writing this stanza Yet writing this takes the pain away from me Yet it comes back to haunt me They ask me "how do you know what real life is?" Pain is how I know what real life Revealed the entirety to me I didn't live a life of candy and cakes I live a life of failure and mistakes Yet I am still here Telling you how I am able to do this How I am able to write this Pain gave me this And don't say you never felt pain Couse without pain there is no real life Yet there is a road of joy and happiness The most of us find I am still searching for mine Yet pain never dies Still, carry on Even if I have nothing holding on Pain showed me And it will show you A taste of reality Pain guided me Will it guide you?
0
May 14, 2018
May 14, 2018 at 11:46 PM UTC
Pain
It is June. Plaridel is in sepia, or leaden – whichever, this is the leitmotif. Soon clouds with jettison a plodding swathe of water. You will wear the petrichor, While a ramshackle of a passing tricycle whelms a throbbing orchestra of junk. Here is the hearth that rears no fire: a mother, children in tow – a troika, on a cart not even close to ease of a hurtling thing. Trees naked in vulnerable green – the verdigris carried by a miniscule Maya. Here comes again, the neighbor peering through the nuisance, is alarmed, eyes like a fugitive, curses my mother – I grab the nearest, sharpest object available that was my own hand. Ingrained deep within, a root – or a stone, among many other stones in me, this salt-well, a savingslight of turning wave that is almost an approximate oceanview in me. Gnarled over the longest time. In here we soothe by gin, passing out in front of our gated homes, singing whatever was available, close to our pitch. Somewhere, Windsor has lost the poem / critiqued by a mirror fecundating a smeared image, a blot. A Rorschach was it, or just a day dazed they did. Somewhere, this is scattered. Uncollected. To make remnants of as evidence, not to investigate if true. The 6th body of this is what I am speaking of in glossolalia. A requiem leaves it stark and cold in this consummate weather. Another piercing salvage of metal cuts the humdrum town and unlike the sturdy mango tree, this is a collective of secret encrypted lasting more than a life. It is June. Plaridel has ripened from the expired summer. Perchance the exquisite promise is sweet, holding all the bitterness together, ready to fall, at last.
0
May 31, 2016
May 31, 2016 at 10:22 PM UTC
Plaridel is in sepia, or leaden
It is June. Plaridel is in sepia, or leaden – whichever, this is the leitmotif. Soon clouds with jettison a plodding swathe of water. You will wear the petrichor, While a ramshackle of a passing tricycle whelms a throbbing orchestra of junk. Here is the hearth that rears no fire: a mother, children in tow – a troika, on a cart not even close to ease of a hurtling thing. Trees naked in vulnerable green – the verdigris carried by a miniscule Maya. Here comes again, the neighbor peering through the nuisance, is alarmed, eyes like a fugitive, curses my mother – I grab the nearest, sharpest object available that was my own hand. Ingrained deep within, a root – or a stone, among many other stones in me, this salt-well, a savingslight of turning wave that is almost an approximate oceanview in me. Gnarled over the longest time. In here we soothe by gin, passing out in front of our gated homes, singing whatever was available, close to our pitch. Somewhere, Windsor has lost the poem / critiqued by a mirror fecundating a smeared image, a blot. A Rorschach was it, or just a day dazed they did. Somewhere, this is scattered. Uncollected. To make remnants of as evidence, not to investigate if true. The 6th body of this is what I am speaking of in glossolalia. A requiem leaves it stark and cold in this consummate weather. Another piercing salvage of metal cuts the humdrum town and unlike the sturdy mango tree, this is a collective of secret encrypted lasting more than a life. It is June. Plaridel has ripened from the expired summer. Perchance the exquisite promise is sweet, holding all the bitterness together, ready to fall, at last.
Continue reading...
35
How could a father treat strangers better than his own daughter? Aren’t fathers supposed to love their children? Who was there when I scraped my knee? not you Who taught me that a man could be so cruel? You When venomous lips critiqued me When I would lie in bed so tired of your alcohol When I wished I had the dad that other girls had Are you even a father? A man? Or just completely lost to me?
0
Mar 27, 2016
Mar 27, 2016 at 3:02 AM UTC
Daddy's Girl
Man, these opinions be really ******* up my mental. They don't stop me from making money just stop me from standing tall. They shouldn't matter and for years I've let them roll off my shoulders. But as a human being, hearing the same thing only makes me colder. I don't care what they say, but to my dismay, it's everything you deem unfit. The tiger stripes on my belly, the extra softness of my thighs. Things that I viewed as simple characteristics but yet these are unflattering in your eyes. The bulge of my stomach, the layer of graspable skin on my side Those are all things that I've let slip from my mind They don't stop me from soaring higher, achieving goals, or even improving my skill set. But your gaze is like daggers and your words like bullets It causes these now undesirable features to fester my soul If I dare fix them they have to gain your approval. And for those who still think that words don't matter, step off of your pedestal and let me serve you a reality platter. If the vast majority declares it outdated you drop it. If the vast majority says it's trendy you adopt it. And while it may seem easy to ignore the hype, it takes an extremely mentally strong individual to say **** it and goodbye. We would all like to believe that we're our own person. But when there is a flaw that is repeatedly critiqued, we lose sight of who we are and that's the number one lesson.
0
Mar 19, 2018
Mar 19, 2018 at 9:41 PM UTC
Rosie The Riveter