Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Carrie Partain Jun 2019
Awake. feeling chest pain. Is it my valve?  It's nearly a quarter century old.  How long do these things last? Titanium, strong, will outlive me, but what about the flesh it's anchored to? Pain is an indicator.  What's wrong?

I tick like a clock as it opens and closes, hearing  each time it skips a beat.  Doctors said it looked real good, but eight months ago, not now.

I have two diseases with the same initials.  Shouldn't there be a rule against that?  Multiple Sclerosis and Marfan Syndrome.  What an awkward pair.  

Overlapping symptoms complicating treatment.  You think they'd give me a two for one discount?
cassie marie Oct 2017
My depression is like a far away friend who showed up
And you didn't want them to show up

My anxiety is like when you had to get on stage as a kid and perform
Except I never get over the nervousness

My ADD is like when you would stare out the window for a test
But I can not stop looking at the window

My Bipolar disorder is like a rollercoaster
Except I never get off of the ride

My paranoia is like when you used to think someone didn't like you
Except I think everyone I know and love doesn't like me

My insomnia is like when you would pull all nighters
But I pull them everyday

My mental disorders are not what defines me
Its what you do in my daily life that triggers them and then they take over like when an emperor takes over his empire
Or when the president takes over his country
This is about my mental disorders in hopes you understand what I go through everyday
M Aug 2017
I would not rather say,
what I felt today.
It was something scary and intense,
that made my nerves go insane.

It is something I asked for,
To continue the learnings I adore,
But, Chaos came into my core.
Now I'm breaking down, oh no.

I recall talking to a stranger.
I told him what I've done before
He was alarmed & disturbed
And kept asking about it all day long.

Today, I asked for a favor
And kept my pride lower than before
My psychological disorder shifted too strong
Now, my body's shaking, oh no.

I rather not tell,
How badly I felt.
How I tried to **** myself
On the 24th day of December.
How suicide thought possess
How PTSD caress.
How down I was, regressed.

Because the only thing people see,
Is the damaged part of me
Pain wouldn't go away. I told my new workmate about my suicide attempt last December. And he was distrubed by asking if I told the HR about the incident. If I'm fully recovered. I felt discriminated. I felt  violated .Whenever I share my life, people were too disturbed that I might not performed well with my work, acads and life. Then, I'm still supported by my family in my education. And asking for a favor especially in monetary issues, is a big no no for me. It triggers my paranoia and I became disturbed. I'm still starting to build my career and my self.
Mental illness is something I lived in everyday life. Please try to respect one.
Elise Jackson May 2017
i don't quite understand what i did in a past life that was so bad
that i was born in this small globe of worry.

i also don't quite understand
the small instances of confusion
or
misconception
that make me repeatedly run through every
motion i made
or
word i spoke.

there's something wrong in the world inside my head,
maybe famine.
maybe natural disaster.
maybe war.

some days i feel amazing.
not a bone in my body feels anxious.

some.

but no day is the exact same,
and sometimes it's best to take it one day at a time.
Mims Jan 2017
Sitting around a table,
Here we have your over thinkers,
Your impulsive thoughts,

I think depression's over there,
Sitting next to anxiety,

SOMEONE BE INTERESTING!
No ones talking!!!

Impulsive slides down in her chair,
Depression doodles on her arm,
Next to her scars,
Anxiety's leg bounces so fast,
Irritable claims it might fall off,
Then impulsive,
And anxiety,
Strike up conversation,
Irritable quickly joins,
And they come to quick agreement,

Humour, hugs coping mechanisms,
So that she will stop crying.
Irritable yells at depression:
"Stop sitting so near to me!"

Lonely walks in,

"I thought she was gone!"
Complained impulsive,

"I needed some company."
Shrugs depression.

They're sitting at a table,
In my brain,
Having conferences,
On how to get to me.
But I'll never let them overtake me
ln Jan 2017
you may think this is going to be a list of how i almost killed myself about 10 times, or how i was stuck in the psychiatric ward but no, it isn't.

1. Depression taught me to rely on God. I found my faith and realized that my God is bigger than my mental illness. I found light even in darkness and learned to lean on Him more than I ever have, and I am so grateful.

2. Depression taught me to stand on my own two feet. I learned very early into my diagnosis that I had to save myself because no prince or princess charming was going to come in a pumpkin carriage and sweep me off my feet and no fairy godmother is going to flick her wand and take my illness away. It was my battle to fight.

3. Depression showed me the people who loved me for me. It was quite easy to figure out the people who wanted something from me and the people who wanted me. It was heartbreaking to realize the truth, but better late than never hey? Cutting off everyone who only chose to be a part of my life for their selfish needs has done me more good than any other choice I've made thus far, I am so happy.

4. Depression taught me to be kind. Being thrown into what felt like the deepest pits of hell taught me what pain truly feels like. I had always known that mental illnesses were torturous, but experiencing it first hand is a whole new level and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemies. I learned that everyone is suffering and we all fight battles, and how important it is to recognize that the person next to you may be going through hell and just chooses to be silent about it. Be kind. It may not mean anything to you, but it may mean the world to the person next to you.

5. Depression taught me that I am a strong *******. It tried to break me, over and over again. It put thoughts into my head and told me I wasn't good enough and I would never be, good enough. It told me I had to harm myself to feel things and it told me I would be better off dead. It told me I wasn't worth of love, happiness, kindness - I wasn't worth anything. It told me to wreck myself because I meant nothing anyway. It told me to make decisions that only made me feel worse because at that point - I would have done anything to take the pain away. But here I am today, able to write all of this without shedding a single tear. Because I am strong. I suffered, but I survived. And nobody will ever, be able to take that away from me.

6. The last, and most important lesson. I've always wanted to change lives, make a difference. Depression taught me that I didn't need to change 200 lives at once. I didn't need to change the world when I was 18 years old. All I needed to do was listen to someone, give someone a hug. Talk to someone when they needed a friend. I was changing the world, even if I didn't realize it. And I will continue to do it.



To everyone who's wondering, I'm off anti-depressants now. The fear of relapse constantly does bug me, but my will to survive exceeds everything else. I am a fighter. And so are you.
Broken Molecules Jul 2016
Help
Needed and available
…If I search
Loved ones
In darkness
Placed by me
Expected to be…
…Decent
The outside
Different
Inside… blackness
Expectations pile high
But my shower
Saw my  face
Once
Knowledge of the next word?.
Not surprised
Choking on
“the tip of your tongue”
Don’t have a place
In your mind,
Roommates?
Forgiveness
Although
Counted how many times
MY lips touched
Your pipe
Having deep conversations
Your sweet friend
Christina
And
My old friend
Death
Didn’t know
Preoccupied?.
True
Got your own ****
Handle
Cause I’m not
Losing order
Losing my way
Falling deeper
Into the rabbit holes
Breaking where
I’m broken
Broken Molecules
Nothing more
Than these words and tears
So who am I now?.
A pathetic week
This isn't the explanation for my name. "Broken Molecules" has a different but similar meaning.
Aurora Maciel Oct 2015
poetry is my escape,
my getaway from reality

in poetry i lay my soul and
i write away my heart,
my pain,
my struggles
in an array of 26 letters

i lose myself in that written world
i escape into poetry
Next page