Neck totally lips hot continuously over
and
       over
            aNd
                 o'er
                     ere
                         the splash
                  ,great and yellowly gargantuan,
                coming invulnerably the earth o'er
             (I kindle mightily snoring lungs with
               tightly wrapped binding skin burs
                ting simmering glaciers topped
                 moistly with me,) under you
                  when i have been
                   i liked my body more
                    with muscles snaking
                     impatiently
                      pleasing
                       the body of you
                        lady Night
                         ;you lake of bumping fire
                          hideously i'm a plunging
                           into thee
                            , thy into
                               thighs totally
                                smacke
                                 d with mine
                                                       o
                                                     ver
                                                        me
                                                     W
                                                   h e n
                                                        U
                                                    have been
                                                i li(c)ked
                                             your body more
                                          precociously than
                                        A
                                          n
                                        y
                                         Dulcet electric buzz
                                            your crown of moans
                                               lungs from erratically sprouted
                                                 gilding splendidly

I've always been told
That you should never let go
Of a person
Who can see the sadness
Behind your smile
And hear your screams
When you are silent

Three years it has been
Since I was introduced
To a person
Who rapidly became
My other half,
My panda child,
My best friend.
Up until then,
I was forever surrounded
By small talk
And friends without meaning

Through all the
*******
And
Heartbreaks,
She had been there
Along with
All the petty
Events inbetween
And
I know
In my coffee
And
Cacti
Scented soul
That she will
Continue to do so
For a very,
Very,
Long time.

And one day,
She is going to arrive home
To a place and a person
She loves
And then she will understand
That dying
Isn't necessary
In order to
Go to heaven.
And
If a boy ever
Borrows her heart
And returns it infected
I will personally
Destroy
What's left
Of his sad
Little
Life.
Because
Knowing her,
She will give him everything
And he **** well
Better do the same.

Brooke Roman,
You are beautiful
And I hope you enjoy this poem
That doesn't really make much sense
But
I thought it was necessary
Because
You mean the world to me
And
I would not be here
If you had not come
And saved me
And
You can truly say
You appreciate beauty
Because
You've continously stopped
To pick up the pieces
Of my insecurities
That self-identify
To a beer bottle
Smashed onto a rock
Probably by my father

You are perfect
And
I love you
More than I love coffee
And pizza
And that's saying something.

I am running
Brushing bushels of roses and daisies and sunflowers
Treading ground tread to the degree of infinity by lives lived before me
Through the green fields and under the arms of wise, old trees
And I stop under one of them

I settle down and take a seat
Quick breaths become slow and purposeful
Taking in the life around me and breathing out, feeding it
The orange, red, purple sky above looks down on everything, on me
My breath fuses with the waves of a life continously complimenting all that I see

Peace at first,
Seems like hurt,
When you let go of thought you find out what your worth,

It could be through teaching,
It could be through preaching,
As long as to the sky you're continously reaching,

The allegory of the cave,
For those who are saved,
Could be a road well traveled or one unpaved,

If you choose to pray,
Or with conscious you play,
We can go and grow together to start a new day,

Once separation can cease,
And on common ground we meet,
The sun will shine brighter and we shall all know new peace.

You think you've got what it takes green man
You're short
You're weak, your strength is only a year old
And you've been pampered by the melanin in your skin and the love around you
You think you can understand what adversity means?
The few tests of masculinity you ******* paid for left you tense and fearful when the weapons were made of plastic
When reality was there to test you, the words you should have fought against you let slide like a *****

You think you deserve a right to fight?
You may desire it, but you are too small and too stupid to fight for anything in this world
And what you desire to fight for is muddied in hypocrisy
Because democracy is built on blood and sin
A world of wolves ****** each other with claws and ***** for sheep like you
When you sheep wander into our battleground, you bleed better than us
With tears and families and a lack of skin that Darwin fought the churches to emphasise
The stupid and the sociopathic know our fight the best
Because they accept the simple truth we give them, or are willing to profit from the lie
But you just men, sheep who give up and wolves who die
You can't keep up with this

What do I say to all that?
To our history that is so muddied in the darkest greys
Bloodiest battles fought continously, so I can live under laws that I don't agree with
As much as they let me do what I want to do

I have to take the coward's way out, and defend my tribes in my ***** *** deluded little way
And despite every need to be carved out of stone as a man who is too soft to fight as hard as he wants to
That fight doesn't exist
And if it did
It wouldn't need me

Holding your thoughts in my heart
Emotions flutter like the butterflies
Moving from one feeling to another
I feel your electric surge in my soul

Like a exploding warmth
Like an enlightenment exprienced
Like the skipped beating of heart
Your smile makes me smile, sadly

I move away from you
Begin to walk - to the raging sea
Fenced by the lonely stars
Moon envelops the darkness of the night


You are looking so lovely
As you drift apart
That I could not feel, how painful it would be
To continously hold you in my heart

After you have gone.

Alone with the relentlessiness of doubt; with out reason.  Thoughts laboring my heart continously suffering,  with the agony of pain. The harsh reality of time echos throughout my vains; many times over, these thoughts; lay claim like a quiet storm, held captive by the damage of ancient remains.

I know I shouldn't wish on shooting stars or wishing wells, but I do.

Every opportunity I have, I always wish for one thing.

You.

I wish I was the reason your beautiful lips smiled while your fingers intertwine with mine.
I wish I was able to envelop you in ny arms, get lost in your eyes,
And press my lips gently to yours.

I wish you'd love me the way I love you.
Reckless, true, unconditional.

But you don't.

You are my muse. The inspiration and soul of my art. But to you, I'm an invisible painter.

A painter who continously tortures himself by painting scenarios of you and I together, who is hoping that one day, you would look my way and deem me worthy of your love.

But it can't be.

For you my love are a goddess, beautiful and without flaw, who does not deserve me, a mere mortal.

But I will continue wishing on shooting stars and wishing wells, praying to the heavens that one day, you hear my cry.

"I wish for you my love. I'll always wish for you."

Talk
What is the point?
"To let it out"
and then what?
"Heal"
Then let me yearn this pain...
"It will be okay"
but for a second l'd like to think its not.
Let me feel this moment of hopelessness
Let me taste the salt of my tears, as my soul is consumed with agony  
Talk
Don't you see?
Talking doesn't help
People are the walls I continously stare at in my bedroom as I sink into my mind within the beauty and bliss of my existence with the universe
My thoughts are a reflection of the words I can't speak
as my body comes to a state of paralyzation
Nothing but silence...
even if I wanted to speak, I can't
"Don't overthink, just say it"
Prepare for all situations, must think it through and have an answer for the eyes that seek to know but not understand
Those eyes can't see the wounds I carry behind my smile
Don't speak of words of comfort or be any consolation to me
Let me be
Thinking is in my nature
I am an artist, a poet
Thinking is the only reason I lose sleep over countless nights
it is what helps me create and make beauty with my words, with the flowering spikes of my brush that express ...
the words
the emotions
the thoughts
I can't speak
So let me indulge this pain
Until, I'm ready
I have to heal myself.

Would you use this scalpel
as I'd tell you to?
Would you dig a hole
in my veins?

In this instance, right away, now
please, get this disease out of me,
you will hear no sirens,
you'll only see the tears running.

In this instance, right away, now
please, understand that the hands
of my mind have turned violent.
They shake me up and bend me
until saliva meets bone
and all I've eaten for dinner today
is "fresh air",
smells of petrichor,
oh how can my mind not adore
temporary starvation?

Please!
Realise I do not want this,
I do not want to die...
But the doubts and fears
in my head continously multiply.

Desperation meets bone,
my current body is no home,
not like any "home" I've known,
and I wish I could "move out"
but I'm stuck in this skin...
please plant some seeds into me..

And then...
Use this scalpel
as I tell you to,
confiscate my blade,
make me stay,

And then I will remain.





Shall we seek the variations between the pen and the brush?
And a long journey it is
Long and winding
Like the meandering path of a pen
Continously fickle marks,
Trickled onto the page
By a thin reedy man
Pretentious preservation of seemingly inconsequential information
Unlike the brush it is steady and small pain
The brush casts vast swathes of colour about it
Wild uncontrolled vortexes of pure passion
Powered by the fire of the caster
Energetic excitement epitomising the intention of the information
Wild and Free
A powerful and crippling instantaneous pain
Lasting only briefly
Shall we seek the variations between the pen and the brush?

There is
A fine line
Between appreciation
And ownership
Which I seem to fall over
Scraping my knees
Too often
Too Continously

There are many men who'd like to **** me, caress me, probably give me the entire world if they could.
But I only allow one to continously break my heart,
to give me black holes instead of the moon,
to pinch my skin and never massage the tension,
to make love to me once in a several month period.

I only give to one while many have said I give to all.
I have ****** many while he's only ****** one.

He doesn't hold it against me, he only asks to teach me what I've learned.

I gladly give,
I gave until he began teaching me.

There are many men who'd give me the world, the sun, the moon or the stars,
but would forget about Venus, and Pluto and Saturn.

Who would skip over Jupiter even if I asked for it because it was too big or far away.

But one would get it for me.

He'd kiss all the wounds he gave,
even the ones I gave myself
then drown me in love
even when I didn't ask for it.

There are many men who would give me their heart.

But only one has mine.

one heart
all alone it beats
thump thump thump
against ribs it knocks
trying to break free
one heart
encompassed by flesh
bones and blood
repeating its cycle
continously
one heart
all alone in darkness
its defenders have groups
lungs coupled
ribs
theres alot
one heart
forever alone
it sits and beats
giving life
to those it envies
one heart
it awakens
after never sleeping
and sheds
a ****** tear

We determine our path.
This I do believe.
We can't continue blaming others.
Like some people loves to do.

Who hadn't heard about the blame the parent blues?
And these are adults coming with this news.

Whatever fault?
That parent might had.
Their mistakes was a lesson before you to learn.
This I do believe.

If love was a mistaken creation?
Can't you see the lovers continously blaming God?
Like many people still do.
This I do believe.

We alone is responsible for ourselves, as adults.
This I do believe.
We ourselves is responsible for a happy home.
This I do know.
For, if you bring destruction into it.
Then you know, why you are alone?
This I do believe.
Love is like a child.
It will constantly grow.
When it's in a stable loving home.
This I do believe.
Even, if you disagree.

i was sitting on a bench and everyone that passed looked so full. they were smiling and had places to go. i was content staring at them and watching them walk to their destination wondering if the life they lead was better than mine. then i thought about myself and hole that continously sits in the back of my chest and in the pain in my legs began to overtake the contentment i was feeling. it became a dark cloud. the breeze i felt became a storm and instead of running i sat in it. i didnt feel like getting up and running for shelter anymore.

A child is known by his doings.
Whether they are pure or right.
They are known.

Now, at heaven's door stands twenty six children's of the world.
Just as innocent then could be.
We won't see their hope.
Let alone their dreams.
We, can only say, only if ,they had a chance to enjoy life a little more.
Now, they standing at heaven's door.

While their parents continously mourn.
Gone is the joyfulness of the day they was born.
After the tears are shed.
And the pain is expressed.
We will try to figure out this mess.

Within this mess.
Was an adult.
Whom were also a victim of her own child's distress.

Yes, things are done for a reason.
Many can't be explained.
Except, at heaven's door you'll find the Lord ready to accept his angels.

Blessed are those that admire life.
Blessed are those that understands love.
We will never be able to understand death.
When it involves many, who were innocent.

I yearn for sleep.
If my eyes are closed I cannot cry.
My mind can not continously ask why.
I yearn for sleep.
The kind that envelopes you,
The kind that is deep.
At least within my slumber, my heart may find some peace.
I fear my dreams, good or bad, because I still wake up with out you.
I still wake up sad.
There is no real rest inside my head, even when I'm safe inside my bed.
Yet I still yearn for sleep,
the kind that envelopes you,
The kind that is deep.

As the bone of the body decay
Everything in the world remain
The Cycle of words polluting the air
Continously sleep walking in circles

People looking through the unknown
In stranger places
Less cruel than the crowded home
A place where pain is tolerated

All the way down
Feels like hope is gone
Everything has just gone wrong
Journey had become too long

i don't even remember the last time i thought of loving you purely
i don't even remember the last time i wanted to be in a room with you but surely
its not going to be the last time where i don't want to be near you
nor is it ever the last time i wanted to peak at you at a full view
you make me sick to my stomach, my very essence and my bones
nor the last time i want to not listen to your excessive yapping, put on my headphones

you question why i don't ever want to go and be at your home
but i don't ever want to make a church filled with lies, the best of them forms a dome
but why would i go home when i don't even feel like i have one
because every time we see each other all my instincts tell me to run
because i don't feel like i can be myself when you stay around
what the point in living my life if i'l just be forced to be your clown


oh sure you think you are superior because the almighty gave you the right
but that's not the truth because victors always makes a point to out write
to exaggerate their superiority because they won one fight
society makes hierarchies so overrated, it just gets so boring
your blatant anger just makes me laugh, cause you just keep on roaring
about how i bring nothing worth of note, honestly that just has me snoring


but who between us has degraded me, beaten me and that name
spare me your philosophies, you don't the things those things you claim
you consider me a hypocrite but aren't you just the same
honestly it is just such too much, a **** honest shame
at least i admit to myself when i am wrong, accepted that i have ill fame
but i at least have the audacity to have a head full of shame

i wonder how the hell are we connected to each other in this life
did i do something so terrible back then that i have to live with this strife?
you ignore my struggles, you would tell me that  your life was hard
but to compare my hardships to your, its as if you claim to disregard
that we don't live the same life, i didn't have what you had that time
you never get tired of telling me that, you just have to win arguments everytime

this is why i don't like coming home, everything feels perverse
you raise your voice at any time, each and every sound released as a curse
if it wasn't for the things we share together, there would be nothing to coerce
me to come and see you and try to avoid conflict, change every verse
of everything i say and feel when i'm around you, i rehearse
because i don't want to let me have a headache or make everything worse


i still remember the crushing pain of every touch, every word and every mark
all because i moved or acted and spoke in a way that seemed like a bark
but is it wrong for me to want to defend myself, let alone say a remark
all i ever wanted was for you to understand my side of the story
but all you see is the threats i pose for speaking out like its defamatory
but apparently you don't care because sole control to you is mandatory

i keep looking at the days when i knew i loved you beyond reason
but all you know is to put me down like some common prisoner in trial for treason
i just wanna escape your depravity, i want to change the seasons
because i already know myself that i already have too many reasons
time is always ticking in an hourglass, i have no more time for games and for silly treasons


i'm so tired of this ride we are in, we only keep spinning round and round
i just wanna leave this all behind, stop my tears from falling and my lips from making a sound
you and i both know that this is the way it ends, both of us will go down
its already on fire and we watch us burn, this silly game will become our burial mound
i'm letting go i'm going away, i don't care if you stay behind and drown
burn in the fires you have made yourself, suffer by yourself in your little playground

i don't want to keep living life as if its just spinning continously in a blur
the life i want is the life where i can live freely, where i can be what i prefer
where my choices are the ones blooming, choices that i concur
so i'll stop watching you tear yourself into pieces, i'll walk away
i'll forget all traces of you, clear the space you occupy without delay
i'll start living my life remembering this beautiful epiphany starting today

My worlds in color now.
When the nature around me provides a how.
The hue of color from the nile valley.
The origins source when she smiles soundly.
And the visible energy is proven manly. Masculine.
And yet for some odd reason she's still laughing.
Sins are given, within some increased reason.
Men of faith are pleading.
Running away screaming.
A presence of evil becomes all seeing.
Why. Why.
Are the repeated cries.
And suprisingly the answers are upon her thighs.
The abuse she got when he was high.
Scars to satisfy.
And the sad thing is she asked for replies.
And theres no response until she dies.
Why. Why.
Again are the cries.
Reporters ask how this could've been prevented.
The hate she slept with.
The abuse she continously had to get. And the cycle of violence is to the next stage of revenge.
Because she had a brother who can't sleep again.
Her brother doesn't care about the sins.
Because the love that was given is never forgotten.
And within the act that was declared rotten.
Achieves a series of consequences until he caught him.
A battle of purposed agression and impulsive deflection.
And after the blood is covering the cotton.
He's still alive but his screams are forgotten.
And after every bloodied hit he knows the gods are watching.
But what he does not know is that there applauding.
Because her life was peace plotting.
A angelic being lost yet again.
But the necessary evil is progressing into a saving kin.
Aware of the forces of abrupt and decisive evil.
Souls gone from these people.
An inability to feel.
Fires burnt from the trees.                                                                                
An empty evil no longer sees.
And while separating  evil from the ability to breathe.
This so called ***** savior.
Cannot be there forever due to his behavior.
But this evil is worth mourning.
Because this is the reason the sun is soaring and helpless beings are roaring.
Good came from the both of this pair.                                            
And it is only fair.
For him to be united to her and his heart is finally open to share.