I Am Lost.
Stuck in a maze...
No, Labyrinth, of my minds own creation.
Every door I open, teases my hopes of finding my place in the universe
Only to spit me out back where I started.
And as the years pass, I dissociate
From everyone and everything I held dear.
How Do I Escape?
I see he hurts.
Constantly fighting through the social constructs that instruct him to just
"Be a Man"
Everyday I see him fall deeper into his sadness, slowly giving in to the vastness of the pain and hurt he refuses to admit.
Gradually growing distant, goes quiet in an instant and dives into thought like it's an instinct.
And naturally, I hurt too.
Because my soul is tied to his and therefore whatever he feels... I feel too.
How do I help him? 🥺
TO be loved by you is indescribable.
BE-lieve me when I say, I know I am
LOVED - beyond all measure,
BY the universe and God, for they gave me
TO experience a joy so unexplainable,
BE both gently and thoroughly
LOVED... is such a gift.
BY my side you stay, assuredly.
YOU are my perfect Love.
To be loved by you... is my destiny.
To my dear Thabang. ♥️
Softly cradled in his arms.
Absolutely oblivious to the depth of the moment.
Lost in my head, heart full of gratitude.
Oh how beautiful it is to feel everything so immensely.
-Grateful for "Here"
I tried opening my eyes,
All I saw was a teary-eyed blur.
I couldn't see your deceiving smile.
I couldn't see your alluring blackhole eyes.
I was blinded from all the tools you used to lure me into your trap.
My loud wails overpowered every lie you could ever tell.
And the salty taste of my tears, erased all memory of the taste of your lips.
The excrutiating pain on my chest, and my extreme pants for air, killed all the butterflies I'd felt for you.
In that moment, when everything that led me to you was blocked out,
I was able to finally look into myself and realise my own worth.
The scars and bruises you left all over my body,
Shall forever be a reminder never to let a man like you back in my life.
Crying saved my life.
This one tells me he loves me and actually means it.
He embraces my dark mind in all its fullness.
He kisses my flaws and makes love to my dark shadows.
I keep waiting for him to break my heart,
So that deep, sad sonnets could seep through the crevices.
I keep waiting for that heart wrenching blow that'll set my soul screaming out, triggering past demons to arise and causing my hands to write sad reflections of the pain.
I've only ever written about Ghost hearts and Lost loves.
But how do I do that anymore?
How do I write about pain and suffering when all I feel is love and immense joy?
He stole the very essence of my poetry.
How dare he.
But I love him still.
And maybe, just maybe poetry doesn't always have to be dark.
But that's a story for another day.
Here I go again,
Planning a whole future on based solely on a hope of you.
I know I shouldn't...
But each time I look at you my imagination grows wilder.
In my head, we are already set in forever after.
Spending eternity just settling for one another.
I know it hasn't been long,
But my head is already chasing forever with you.