"boobies" poems
I am worth more than my *******
My body is worth more than your ***** desires
If you lust after me then prove your desires through a song, written words or simple communication
Do not send me your less than mediocre ungroomed extremitie in a snap
With the word ******* written on it
Take you and your salivating mouth elsewhere
If all you see me for is my *******
Aug 31, 2015
Aug 31, 2015 at 8:37 PM UTC
I love ***** big and small, I love ***** best of all.
I think ***** are lots of fun, I think ***** are number one.
I think ***** are really neat, they make me want to beat my meat.
I love ***** covered in lace, I love ***** rubbing my face.
I love ***** in leather black, those are huge, do they hurt your back?
I love ***** in bras of silk, make me want to say "got milk"?
I love ***** in a college dorm, and in a nurse's uniform.
I love ***** in tight red sweaters, or stretching against a t-shirt's letters.
I love ***** in t-shirts wet, hey you with the nice ***** have we met?
I love ***** in skimpy swim wear, I'm sorry, I can't help but stare.
I saw your cleavage from above, with your ***** I am in love.
Your ***** are giving me a ****** I'll have my pants off in a jiffy.
Your ***** have given me an ******** I want to do them without protection.
Your ***** have made me want to **** them. I even want to ********* them.
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 2:13 PM UTC
There, I wrote it. Above.
I simply believe it needs to be in print... out there, so to speak,
And perhaps a few hundred may read, ********
And, hysterically, or in solace,
Make use of it;
Openly, lingusly or fingeratively,
As we do ***** ****** and ******* (tsk-tsk).
Whether you agree or not, please yourself.
Feb 20, 2019
Feb 20, 2019 at 3:11 PM UTC
Perky ******* & Pouty Lips
Now I'm thinking I am, your typical male
who loves beautiful women, and all they entail
tall or short both, make my heart do flips
but the things that I, like for sure
it's alright if, they're somewhat demure
are perky ******* and pouty lips
a personality, is a wonderful thing
it would be cool, if she can dance and sing
don't mind playin poker, and bettin those chips
a sense of humor, with a snorting laugh
always willing, to give you half
umm but I crave perky ******* and pouty lips
I love watching them, when they come and go
swingin those hips, to and fro
make my heart beat do, a couple of skips
but look at those ******* and that **** mouth
causing a disturbance down to the south
god I love perky ******* and pouty lips
Gomer LePoet...
Jun 10, 2010
Jun 10, 2010 at 1:26 PM UTC
I ain’t got no intimate, ain’t got no stiletto heels
Ain’t got no Lsd, ain’t got no smack
Ain’t got no partners, ain’t got no drill
Ain’t got no slapstick, ain’t got no hanky—panky
Ain’t got no Lsd, no slot to mount
Ain’t got no castrato, ain’t got no crumpet
Ain’t got no conjoined twins, ain’t got no nuns or eunuchs
Ain’t got no whipcord, ain’t got no adoration
Ain’t got no ******** ain’t got no stimulant
Ain’t got no ******
Ain’t got no oscillation, no shags
No uniform, no parts
No smack, no drill
No partners, no peccadillo
Ain’t got no stimulant
Ain’t got no whipcord, no propagators
No titbits, no intimate
I jabbered, I ain’t got no uniform, no hanky—panky
No peccadillo, ain’t copulated till one is blue in the face to have a funny feeling
And I ain’t got no ******
Oh, but what have I copulated, oh, what have I copulated
Let me tell what I copulated and nobody’s going to enlarge telescopic
I got my ***** on my face
My extra—sensory perceptions, my knobs
My ****** peckers and my ********
I got my stuck—out tongue
I got my tentacle, my proboscis
My ***** my *******
My thingummies, my cockles of the heart and my posterior
I got my ***********
I got my thingummies, my talons
My ball and socket joints, my forelegs
My hooves, my pincers and my snorker
Got my crest
I got ***** I’ve inseminated cheerleaders
I’ve got bottomgremlins and hacksawhoodoo
And Mephistophelian juggernauts too like you
I got my ***** my pistil
My ESP, my knobs
My vaginas, my peckers and my ********
I got my stuck-out tongue
I got my tentacle, my proboscis
My ***** and my *******
My ***** my ***** and my posterior
I inseminated my ****** sorbet
I got my thingummies, my talons
My ball and socket joints, my forelegs
My hooves, my pincers and my snorker
Got my crest
I got my ***** I got my slipperiness, my *****
I got *****
Mar 23, 2010
Mar 23, 2010 at 4:29 PM UTC
I miss your *****
Almost as much as i miss your *******
I want you more than i can comprehend
These perverted thoughts i dont even pretend
Theyre not all i think about all day
Also i can honestly say
I ********** to her
At a massive rate
It blows my mind
How one of a kind
This georgious ******* girl is
Please oh please will ya be my miss
I swear ill be better to you
Than anybody ever you never knew
If you swear down youll be mine
Ill bring you flowers on valentines
Black roses that remind us of death and ****
Ill make sure you are aways well lit
High as a kite you know what i mean?
And dispite of how crazy it seems,
When i do finally greet death,
Hopfully overdosed on some neat ****
I will be embraced by satan himself,
BUT WHAT NO! WHATS THAT BEHIND THE SHELF?!
Out flys a glorious Anni
Chariot pulled by badass pegasi
She pulls out her mighty scabard
Slices and dices the decaying *******
wait wait went off track a bit
That last part...didnt quite fit
But im just obsessing
Seriously not messing
I want you so bad
It makes me so mad
I want you and all of you
Im not queit sure what to do
From there
But i dont care.
My one and only demand
I just want to hold your hand
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 2:57 PM UTC
With a wide demographic of *******
There's average, massive or missing
There are ******* to nibble and tweak at
And cleavages perfect for kissing
But I'm of a practical nature
And with just a little persistence
I'll give you a host of good reasons
To justify ******* existence
They're perfect for warming your hands up
When the gas meter's run out of gas
And there's little that's better to look at
When there's no chance of seeing an ***
Elasticity makes them ideal
For displays and arrangements of flowers
And if you find yourself short of your bus fare
Then they radiate magical powers
You can use then for counting in binary
Or a pillow with mild central heating
And they're perfect for holding a bottle
To keep safe while you're busily eating
As a pair of provocative earmuffs
You'll be envied by all of your friends
Just be sure to take optional tassels
In case one of the ******* offends
You can hollow one out for an ashtray
Or a skullcap for cutting edge Jews
You can throw them about like a Frisbee
There are just so many options to choose
But they're useful right where they're located
And not just to tickle and tease
Just give them a couple of decades
And you'll find them protecting your knees
MWAH! x
Apr 4, 2013
Apr 4, 2013 at 7:41 PM UTC
Monk tinks tonight
fine glasses clink
convivial banter
bubble pop blink
in breathing rooms
bit woofed and stirred
the smoke mint sound
we dare exhale
Monk swings about
a bell do ding
the huey blues
bird bops on wings
hips juicy moves
rubby mounds wet ****
slow drum rolls blow
dance steady bump
Monk rocks the house
the clock do tick
me feets be tappin
gonna busta trick
key ******* bounce
mouths all agape
we gettin down
like crazy apes
Monk’s muzik rides
a sonorous beam
levitatin hipsters
to places unseen
gosh groovy tunes
a **** good gig
we all stoked up
Monk we do dig
Monk played alright
some swingin tunes
Happy B Day Monk
you over the moon
Thelonious Monk
(October 10, 1917 - February 17, 1982)
Thelonious Monk
with John Coltrane
Trinkle ******
10/9/13
Suffern
jbm
Oct 9, 2013
Oct 9, 2013 at 3:25 PM UTC
Reading the paper kicking back with a few big boobie maiden's
He Man sit's and reflects after flexing his muscles for the maidens to giggle over mmm He Man loves the maidens.
Well after He Man's moment of deep thought he flushed the toilet
and beat the evil toilet demon back down the drain.
looking on the net and not just at **** He Man saw that evil Skeletor
had yet again erased yet another acount the master of the universe was mad so after wrasslin with the servant girl mmmm He man loves the servant girl.
He man called up Skeletor cause it wasa long ride over there and
and gas prices were a *****
One bar! fuck you verizon dam cellphone overpriced ****
He Man smashed the cellphone against the castle wall and cut that useless ****** head off cant hear me now huh ******
Man at arms build me better phone now!
mmmm He Man like a man in uniform.
After man at arms fought off He Man mmmm thats okay
he'll have to sleep sometime.
Man at arms built he man better phone with string and tin cup hello?
Skeletor Yorkie Speaking **** seems to be the problem.
Mmm talk slower He Man likes Skeletors voice.
He Man dam you leave me alone im busy with my life partner playing catch and hide the weazel.
Homegirl you better stop erasing accounts or im gonna get medevil on your **** He Man said in his naughty man voice.
Promise Skeletor replied.
BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL WAIT WHATS THE REST OF THIS?
****** it been so long I cant remember who gets tied up first.
Wait what was i talking about?
I like ice cream mmmm ice cream.
Just then the line snapped it was cut by that naughty meat puppet
dam you Skeletor this battle has just begun.
Dont miss the next really weird *** episode of HeMan.
Todays lesson.
Well children never play with matches.
Cause they sometimes dont work so go out and get this
years sure fire hot **** seller toy.
The He Man Flame Thrower yes little Timmy wont have to take **** from that bully anymore just light his fat *** up like a christmas tree
and if this offended you get a life mmm He Man like life and *******
Feb 13, 2011
Feb 13, 2011 at 7:37 AM UTC
Did you just ask me out?
Tryin' to ply me with flowers!
Well nice try, Mister Aquaman,
But get some super powers.
A girl like me can't risk it,
I ain't no downtown baby!
Your devotion and a dollar, sir,
Would buy me a coffee, maybe.
You know it's true, this rump's too fine,
For your sweaty meat hooks there;
It's something else you'll have to grip,
Don't feel the need to share.
Well there's my flight, my throne in the sky;
I look down in safety as the peasants roll by,
I know they'd like to spin a slice of my pie,
But this pie in the sky is priced too **** high!
Back on my island, beach volleyball season.
Which color bikini? Somethin' right for some breezin'
Or just playin' naked, I don't need no **** reason!
My big ******* out for some major crowd pleasin'!
Well that was sure fun, a day in the sun!
I didn't forget you, Mr. Pop Gun;
You would have loved it, this tan honey bun,
But you ain't been swimmin'; you're dry as a nun.
Before I forget you, just thought you should know:
This booty's so fly, it's pressurized, yo
And though upon you this hot wind won't blow,
You can ask "Would she love me?" An emphatic no.
Jan 9, 2015
Jan 9, 2015 at 6:46 AM UTC
I want to smush my face in a big fat delicious frosted cake,
and blow out candle after candle and watch ice cream melt
as I dig through the moist sugary cake-bread with my fists,
and I eat everything I want in this delicious, nice restaurant
I want to pout at anyone else who makes grumpy faces,
I am the **** queen so it's my gosh **** party, dang it
I want to drink until I almost throw up and then do drugs
and grab ******* and scream with laughter and true fun!
I want to flash strangers and get birthday kisses and hugs
I want to smear lipstick all over my face, I want GLITTER
I want to roll in checks from relatives in far-off places
with the clothes and money and drugs that I will buy
I want to cry big crocodile tears over wrapping paper
and wear a pretty crown and take pictures, please yes
I want to smile so hard my cheeks hurt, ouch, and get away
with being a little ******** because I'll say sorry tomorrow
I want firecrackers and free things and fun fun fun fun fun fun fun
because it's my birthday, and I get to do whatever the **** I want!
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 12:07 PM UTC
I was snorkeling in the Galapagos
surrounded by diving *******
when some fun friendly angels
visited, they had flippers not wings
and flapped and glided
streamlined through the ocean
on their backs, sides and fronts
They were curious
about me, this goggled wide-eyed beast
and would come so close
I could see their bright eyes and whiskers
I thought they would collide
but at the last second they would downwards swoop
I was in heaven at this communion
Suddenly I saw from the corner of my eye
a massive grey giant crash into the water
I front crawled away like a man possessed
The bull was probably jealous of my dalliance
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 1:38 PM UTC
He announced with a sneer
'Now listen here,
all you sinners that can hear
Explain to me how
you'll plead when making
pornographic movies;
plastic ******* swear words... nasty things
when the lord calls upon you
offering the forgiveness he brings? '
'He'll send you to hell! '
'He'll punish you well! '
'You don't stand a chance, what you're doing! '
The crowd raved and screamed
Faith high esteemed
until a young man in the back
laughed.
Nov 9, 2011
Nov 9, 2011 at 3:20 PM UTC
Things to say before you go.
I love you
I'm so very proud
You are amazing
Please be safe
Don't let them tame you
I'll be waiting
I will always be cheesy
I will always cry
I will always think of you
Don't let them change you
I believe in you
Show them who's boss
Stay out of trouble
Make good friends
Be careful of hoochies
Remember my *******
I'm going to cry some more
It's ok to feel/show emotions
Don't let them push you around
I will repeat myself over and over
I love you (again)
You are my happy
I hope to make you smile
I hope to be in your dreams
I hope you remember my kisses
I can't wait till I can kiss you every day
Soon is closer than you think
Soon is still to far away
Soon.
That is all...
For now...
Sep 11, 2016
Sep 11, 2016 at 6:56 AM UTC
A selection of limericks
There was a young lass from the Bronx
Whose ******* make fearful honks
She sounds like a car
When she puts on a bra
And the geese gather round when she bonks
-----------------
Father Alexander McMackett
Ran a ruthless religious racket
When taking collection
He'd offer protection
Salvation could cost you a packet
-----------------
A carrot named Archibald Nation
Had feathers in high numeration
He was labelled as veg
By a grocer called Reg
With a dubious qualification
-----------------
A sculptor named Arnold Duprees
Carved a **** plug from parmesan cheese
He lamented his luck
When it melted and stuck
But he fired it out with a sneeze
-----------------
Knights in the armour of old
Have little to keep out the cold
For they dress as the Scots
In thier tenderest spots
Which encourages rust and then mould
-----------------
Oh ***** you make my knees quiver
You chemical lethargy giver
You tickle my tongue
And pickle my brain
Then you jump up and down on my liver
-----------------
A Fella named Ricky De Gaul
Had seventeen ******* in all
They called him De Chesty
But with only one *****
It should have been Ricky De Ball
Apr 5, 2013
Apr 5, 2013 at 8:15 AM UTC
She's so happy with the teeth dear
Now they're perfect, pearly white
And she's looking at the rest dear
'Cos she's heard of Mack the Knife
It's those crows feet round the eyes oh
Keep those ******* way out of sight
And those wondrous thunder thighs oh
They're going under Mackey's knife
She's been thinking of her friends babe
Dearest Lotte and sweet Lucy Brown
Oh how jealous they will be babe
Once old Mackey's gone to town
She's withdrawing all her cash now
She'll be poor but look so right
Someone's taking all her stash now
And that someone's Mack the Knife
Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 3:13 PM UTC
I love babies and *******
but in very different ways:
I love ******* because they make me happy
I love babies because making them makes me happy.
I love babies and *******
but I don't touch them the same
I certainly don't kiss them the same!
Giving ******* funny names makes me happy,
I haven't had a baby yet, but who knows?
I love babies and *******
But they are not the same
I love sunshine and rain,
although they're not the same.
I love us together, because we're not the same.
I love a lot of different things
but not this poem very much.
I though ******* would be funny
and babies would be too.
But this is getting silly,
and I am getting too.
Mar 29, 2010
Mar 29, 2010 at 4:02 PM UTC
I walk into this dark colored room
room filled with beer and smoke
turn to the left and girls jumping everywhere
******* flying, ***** a floppin'
I focus on the jugs flinging up and down
hypmotized by the grace these things throw
My eyes finally focus up on this gorgous women
blue eyes meet mine and i can see it through those pearly gates
I know she wants me and she can see that I want her
we come close together and start to kiss
I get this filling in my stomach that we are about to ***
my soldier is fleeing
and i dont know why
all this **** alchola is kicking in
I start to get dizzy and about to ****
I hit the floor BOOM
this is why you dont mix beer & ***
Sep 1, 2010
Sep 1, 2010 at 9:11 PM UTC
Drinking allnight just to get right.
She claims she never but it sure dont seem tight.
Im half off the wagon but I just went for the ride
Passed out at the keyboard found out a friend called hello died.
Went to the funeral what did I see.
A ****** new place it did appear to me.
One for the road okay i took the case.
Hopped in the coffin.
felt like i just came back from outter space.
If your camper's rockin.
Better hope your husban dont come a knockin.
cause bulletes leave ya sore.
So just hide in the floor.
Cause if your dead it's pretty tuff to get some more.
I like beer and poetry what else did ya think i'd say.
like a kid throwin rocks at a hornet's nest
nest with danger i will always play.
Im guessing my wife must be outta school.
Honey you can ride the bus for free.
No need to blow the teacher and being he's the janitor it's not really cool.
I like beer and pushing the envelope what can i say.
just cause you like to snuggle on fishing trips
people call ya gay.
I write like a demon sometimes i even think.
When did God invent *******
Come on lets mix a drink.
Cartoons are great ever watch fritz the cat?
got busted last week trying to spend some alone time.
guees it's not cool to **** off in a laundrymat.
Wow im so impressed okay maybe not.
Love the new site.
Wonder if the new designer on his meds
are really doesnt care to think alot.
Wonder if my new will stay.
I love beer and poetry
What else did you ***** little hamsters really think i'd say?
Mar 4, 2011
Mar 4, 2011 at 8:25 AM UTC
how to rule at life; wake up, eat watermelon, see some ******* ride a bike, go swimming, go to the states, go swimming, skate a gigantic park, eat mexican food, hang with your bro, connect and be romantic, have fun, come home, smell the wet forest, go skinny dipping in the rain at night, have a warm shower, brag about it on facebook (optional) carry on...more watermelon? haha ;)
Aug 2, 2013
Aug 2, 2013 at 9:07 AM UTC
I been writing like a mad man and had my works passport get stamped in multiple countries .
Australia, Italy , Germany , England, Indiana .
Okay Indiana was more a state run mental institution but I was published there none the less and I liked finger painting graham crackers and crazy women so probs to them.
I mean I didn't want to visit there or anything no offense but im not a big fan off fields and chainsaw art .
I stayed busy flask in pocket and my mind constantly towards the page .
I had gained respect but still I always found my way home .
For better or worse Hello has been the house that me and few other writers built I was here from day one i'm the flaw you just can't hide .
Everyone's favorite black sheep and all around lovable train wreck.
My place was permanent .
Like me or hate me you couldn't ignore me .
Well you could try but I usually won people over or annoyed them to the point of blocking me and joining the witness relocation program but enough about my past relationships .
I was taking some time off from three months straight of chasing publication.
I posted a write at this place I called home for so many years .
It was solid as a brick **** house .
Then some kid posted a write that was total **** but had a pic of her cleavage in the restroom mirror .
It trended in two seconds had a bunch of ***** ******** telling lies in vague hopes to see more .
I knew the ship wasn't sinking it long since met its demise on the icy dark oceans floor .
You just can't compete with *******
I set my sails to the closest port .
I would share some drinks and maybe see some familiar faces .
I believe a pirate is better suited to roam than be food for the ***** .
My future is in the wind not lost within the depths .
Stay crazy hope are ships pass in the night .
And if ever we find ourselves in the same port .
First rounds on you .
Never sit and wait for decay on any level will consume you .
Stay crazy
Gonz
Jan 4, 2018
Jan 4, 2018 at 11:30 AM UTC
Some call them *******
Smart girls will call them weapons...
...of mass seduction.
Apr 21, 2014
Apr 21, 2014 at 6:37 PM UTC
Affirmative. I’m opinionated. Just imagine I’m every confident, intellectual woman that you’ve ever hated. You must be faded: the smack you talk, you deserve to be berated. Son, I’ll spank you back to your upbringing like yo mother should have!
Girl you’re brilliant, but when they treat you like an acquisition, come behind your desk and ask what’s your favorite position.
ANSWER, ANSWER: C. E. O.! “you **
You know they say “I’m sick of your complaining” and “snap this ***** is crazy. Oh **** She must be MEN-STRUATING!”
You’re disrespectful to the ***** Positively shady. Boys will be boys that language is fitting for them to call you but not for a LAY-DEE. When all you see on a woman is ******* and ***** - Hey! We are not passes to your manhood. looks down Your ego is inflated with superficial currency “manpoints!”
You need to treat women like **** to have any value? Well you got a sentence slated. “Female, don’t say those things, forbid they feel EMASCULATED!” Well you made this sandwich. And now you have to eat it. “beat it!”
Don’t treat me like an object. I reject how you project your gender roles on me they’re only fiction. Man, I hate to tell you but my life is in MY OWN jurisdiction. You better be grateful I chose the restraining order, yet you’re still pushing the border.
“Get outta my business!”
Don’t touch me, bro, I’m close to the edge. Me and my homies gonna push you off this ledge.
As for the rest of you,
Yea I know you’re afraid to give me power, know imma tower over you and win this battle like Eisenhoooower.
So be wary of the toxins you provide to this chemist
Cuz she’ll stir them into a weapon, release the angry FEM IN IIIIST!
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 3:52 PM UTC
On advice from a friend
I’m sure that “plenty of ******* in the world”
and “Love me some freckly *******
were said with the best intentions
On Physics
While I watched a woman Hoola-hoop
and take off her clothes I was fascinated,
but when she laid down on the ground
and took off her stockings, while the hoola-hoop
twirled on, I lost all belief in science.
On painting a brown dormitory ceiling white
“You really have to use both arms to get up in there
Just push it up in the brown
Get it all until it is covered in white
Come on Tom, use your muscles.”
That’s what she said
Oct 2, 2010
Oct 2, 2010 at 9:06 PM UTC