Okay I'm a guy
and thinking something positively about
my body is something I've never even tried!
Deep breath... Deep breath....
alright, maybe This'll be for the best

ahem

Okay now to think about my body in a positive manner
I'm not the best looking guy but I can clean up and look dapper
I have curly hair and some ******* up teeth
but embracing my flaws is the only way to get over my raging insecurity
I may get inked up soon
ideally on my birthday at high noon
yes I'm a guy and I'm not Charles atlas
but I'm taking my body off of my mental blacklist

Ya Know … They Say When You Age …
That You Should Stay … " ACTIVE " … !!!

Now Physically …  
That Makes Sense To Me …  
  
But NOT IF ... " Mentally " …  
Your Mind State's Captive … !!!!!
Reactive And Lacking ...
In Thoughts ... Attracting …  
  
A Balanced Life ...
In … " Body And Mind " …  
  
So I KEEP Mine As In My Brain ...
Active And Inclined To ELEVATE ...  
And Therefore Maintain A STRONG Mind State … !!!!!  
  
A Thing I Exhibit In My Wordplay … !!!
Whenever I Visit An ... A4 Page … !!!!!  
And Let My Lyrics Become An Array …  
of Rhymes Exquisite When They Are Displayed …  
  
My Words Become Active Whenever They're … " Acted " ...
Or Simply Heard Via Spoken Word From Me … " Big Virge " …  
  
See ... Activation of Thought I Now Explore ...  
As A Way To KEEP Active And NOT GET Bored … !!!!!
  
As I Said Before I DO NOT Ignore … !!!
A NEED To Do MORE Than Exercise On Floors … !!!
  
I Do That TOO … !!!!!  
But Don't EVER ABUSE …   
The Tool That When USED …
  
Activates Tissues ...
NOT USED By … " Fools " … ?!?
  
Who DISMISS Thought … !!!
To IMPRESS These ****** … !?!
  
FLEXING Muscle And STRONG Skin Tones …  
So That They Can Couple … Activating Hormones … !!!!!
  
I'd Rather Be ... " Humble " ...
Than Activate TUSSLES That DON'T BREED Chuckles … !!!
When They OPEN Dark Tunnels Where Fellas Use KNUCKLES …
  
Activating TROUBLE Because They Got Rumbled … !!!
When Having … MORE THAN Cuddles … !!!

With Girls Whose Main Trait  …  
Is To ACTIVATE More Than Their PROSTATE … !!!!!  
  
See I Activate Levels DEEP Inside My Mental … !!!
That Takes Lead From The Pencils of ***** Lil' Devils … !!!!!!
  
Therefore I Stay STRONG And AVOID Problems … !!!
That Come From Loose Thongs And Violent Wrongs ... !!!  
  
I'd Rather Write Words And Poetic Verse …
That Act Like Prophylactics And Give Disease COLLAPSES … !!!  
  
Because My Wordplay … " Snatches " ... !!!
Whips And Gives Out Hangings  ... !!!  
  
To Cats Thinking They … MASSIVE … ?!?
When What They Are Is … TRAGIC … !!!!
  
TRAGIC … "Little Captives" …  
Using … FOOLISH Tactics …  
That Put Them On My Blacklist … !!!!!!
  
of Those Worthy of LASHES …
See Me I Prey Like … MANTIS …  
Or Like Man From … ATLANTIS … !!!!!!
  
I Pray Upon An AXIS … !!!
Symmetrical And Balanced … !!!!!!
  
UNABLE To Be ... Challenged ...  
By IGNORANCE That's Captive …  
In Minds Now LOST And SAVAGE ... !!!!!!
  
Long After I'm ... NONACTIVE …  
My Words Will Still Be ACTIVE … !!!!!!
  
That's Why I Write And Post Online … !!!
So That When I Have … Physically Died …  
  
These Words I Find Inside My Mind ….  
WILL Stay ALIVE … " IMMORTALISED " … !!!!!!

BEYOND My Life ….  
That's Where My Pride TRULY Resides ….
  
In A Place Where Thoughts …  
CREATE Wordplay Beyond The Wars We See Today … !!!!!!
  
I Hope One Day People Will Say …. ?!?

"That Big Virge Man, played an active hand,
in the betterment of, our race of humans,
and left us seeds, to activate dreams of finding peace,
and living for more than, fights on streets, and vanity !
That Man for sure, wrote poetry,
that's active now he's no longer around !"
  
But While i'm here My Mind Adheres …  
To Activating Verse That CLEARLY HURTS … !!!
  
Chickens And Jerks Whose Form of Work … ?!?
Activates NONSENSE Causing PROBLEMS ... !!!
  
I Have An Active Body And An ACTIVE Mind … !!!
So My Work's FAR FROM Shoddy Because It Feeds The Blind …  
With The Kind of Insights THAT ... DON'T Invite ... !!!!!

IGNORANCE and PRIDE To Be Aligned With A Positive Life …  
The Words I Rhyme Activate Like STARS Shine In The Night ... !!!
Because … From The Dark There MUST COME LIGHT … !!!!!
  
So As I Approach These Last Few Lines …
NO Time To Reproach or Criticise … !!!
  
Because These Words AREN'T … " Faddish " … !!!
And Won't Take ALL Your Bandwidth  … !!!!!
  
I Am A Wordsmith Whose Pen Writes Scripts …
of TRUE LYRICS … " PROACTIVE " … !!!!!
  
These Words Are NOT Just RANTINGS …  
They're DRIVEN And ... EXPANSIVE … !!!!!!!
  
And PROVE That Like My … " Writtens' "
When Big Virge Was Here … " LIVING " …  
  
My Brain, Body & Spirit ...
Were Attached To Being …  
  
….. " ACTIVE " …..

So much for superheroes saving the day;
Every good guy's epilogue is a cliche.
Tedious compulsory celebrations
For all their mundane actions.

A villain's portrayal is what excites me.
Ever since a kid I could already see;
Creativity in all those gimmicks,
Geniuses of ***** tactics.

It is never easy to become the antagonist.
The object of all hate and blacklist;
The one that is destined to fail,
To fulfill a comic's holy grail.

Yet the bad guys do most of the heavy work,
Perfecting their schemes with an evil smirk;
But every time they're about to win,
The plot will smash their plan to ruins.

They say some people are destined to be heroes;
It's a fate preordained a long time ago.
But the truth is that everyone needs a villain,
To finally uncover their life's meaning.

What the world generally calls as criminals,
In reality are just misunderstood equals.
They taught me more about the cruel life,
Better than any superhero's strife.

Go ahead and paint a picture of perfect
time slips between our fingers
like my tongue slipped between my lips
to say something stupid
politicians are sleeping soundly atop the knife
metal to the floor
pick up speed
pick up bad habits
linoleum is easy enough to clean
but khakis stain like a *****
but if you want to sell me your deepest darkest dream
I’ll haggle with you all night long
we give birth to Cobras and give them to the hungry mongoose
put me on the blacklist
my white flag is stained with blood and grey matter
but everybody in their right mind wants to get a chance
to walk through wrong altered perceptions
I stole your dream catcher
and I’m writing novels about your hopes
and faults and I track your arteries
along the fault lines of imaginary continents
is this insanity?
it’s easier said than done
play chicken with my train of thought
spine is steel is cowardice is machismo
put me under your microscope
tell me what’s wrong
I’ll give you a doodle on the back of a napkin
and a shoddily put together love poem

I )  Transitivity

If X is a terrorist
And if Y supports X
Y automatically
Joins the blacklist.

II ) TPLF

By all accounts
TPLF is
A marked terrorist
For holding
Mirror to devil
Engaging in all acts
Revoltingly evil.

A terrorist why?
Because
Now in the open,
Now on the sly
Nonstop it labors
The innocent suffering
Lacerating pain
To die.
It either kills
Or sponsors
The killing of toddlers
Elders,
And women with
A bun in the oven
More often.

To maximize, selfish
Political objective,
Its duty,
TPLF knows no pity.
Its head
A box empty
Like a child naughty
Make noises
To swap
The victimizer &
The victim
And tip the balance
In the global
Political roadmap.

Long before
ENDF’s law–enforcement
Operation
Three out of 5
Women in Tigray
Were subject
To ****
Many heard the
Report agape.
Happily,
The response from
The west was
Tossing it off
Like a ladies hair
Not tied
On the nape.

Pillaging food aid
Many were the
Instances TPLF its
Impish army it fed.

III) America

From
TPLF’s inception
To its tyranny
We were on the ball
That is why
We are mourning
Its demise &
Catastrophic fall.

Before our eyes
TPLF stands tall
‘cause it saw to
Our dictates all,
When we asked it
A room
In Ethiopia’s politics
It used to
Give us a hall.
For our satisfaction
It was on the toes
It sleeves to roll.

“TPLF
(Dear Meles Zenawi)
Our soldiers in Somalia
Are suffering
Ignominious defeat
Forced with their tails
Between their legs
To retreat.
Valorous march and  
Invade Somalia
‘YES’  it said
To diplomacy
Longstanding relation
Having  little
Or no idea.”

We know
Very well
TPLF, suffering
Death knell,
Is past master
In terrorism,
Not in store
Even in hell,
Seeing its deeds
That everyone
Effortlessly
Could tell.

Devoid of
Mental health
TPLF was out
In East Africa
To spell death.

It was adverse
To peace brokers.

When TPLF said
An election result
It conducted was
Hundred % a hit
We (Susan Rice)
Laughed till
Our sides were
To split
But we showed
A green light
“Go ahead
Do it!”

To Bin laden
We showed
No mercy
But around
A horseshoe
Table with TPLF
You, peace-seekers &
Peace keepers,
Have to sit
With the
Worst terrorist
Defeated, exposed
On the retreat.

To meet our ends
We use
Carrot and stick
To terrorist
The former
And stick
To the latter.

Also
Pulling off
A gigantic dam
By own head, arm
Defying our interest
Our arrogance,
Our image
Ethiopia did harm.
This way Egypt
Our bargaining chip
Is slowly but surely
Getting out of
Our grip
So on Ethiopia
, our pushover, let us
Use a sanction whip.
Ethiopia we have
To flog, to beat
Before it zooms
Africa’s head
To the East.

We wrecked down
Many nations
Under the name
Of peace waging war
From Libya
To Afghanistan far
Unless the
Global community,
Own citizen &
Specially the east
Our action bar
We are out
World’s peace
To mar.



////

A mother whose mothers' been denounced
blacklist foreseen upon kismet and luck
how the nag strikes bards' such as self

Slosh, quaff, toss off this elapsed bête noire
Repair, reconstruct it wanes with healing
No more sip from the ***

Resort to daft calls toward the sky
Resort to daft kneeling
I am this staunch daughter, a passerby

A friend saw me ...  
and said ...  
  
"Virgil, you can smile !!!"  
  
I laughed and then ... DID ... !!!  
came home and then ... decided ...  
to write ... A little poem  
about this ... " Smile Subject "  
  
After ... "Thinking" ...  
for a while .......  
  
What ... ON EARTH ... !!?!!  
do I have to ... " Smile About " ... ?!?  
  
I'm Better off ... than many ...  
In this ... There is ... NO DOUBT ... !!!!!  
  
I'm Not ... " HOMELESS " ... !!!  
but ... "STILL" ... have a ... NEED ...  
to .... " Scream and Shout " .... !!! ....  
and let ... " MY ANGER OUT " ... !!!!! ...  
  
About the way ... I'm treated ...  
Especially when ... " I FROWN " ...  
because of things ....  
STILL ... Happening ... !!!  
Across ... SO MANY TOWNS ... !!!!!  
  
Like some ... have said  
  
Being black and poor,  
is gonna be  .....  
"Painful" ... for sure ... !!!!!  
  
Being black and ... " RICH "  
may ... " ease your pain " ...  
A ..... "little bit" .....  
  
But .....  
won't change the colour ....  
of the skin .... " You're In " .... !!!!!  
  
or .... Judgements made ....  
by .... " RACISTS " ....  
who hide their ... "opinions" ... !!!!!  
  
They're quick to ....  
" RUN THEIR LIPS " ....  
  
"Look at him, he's stinking rich !  
and still has got, a chip !!!"  
  
"A chip because, I don't say, HI,  
and greet you with, a grin !?!"  
  
"Listen son, those days are gone !"  
  
"Why, thank you boss !!!  
for giving me, that, nice big  
burning cross, without it,  
I would sure get lost !!!  
It was so nice, to see the light,  
in the middle of the night,  
it shined so bright,  
almost, gave me a fright !!!!!"  
  
"It made me, GRIN, my teeth !!!  
and find, a smile, when hung up by  
those nice, white guys,  
who then took time,  
to ****, my child !!!!!!"  
  
"Well things have changed !!!  
So, give us a smile !!!!!"  
  
"You are, deranged !!!!!  
and in, denial !  
What makes you think ?  
I should, give you a smile !?!  
when racists now, have,  
different styles !!!  
They, talk with us,  
like we are, brothers !!!  
but, if we touch,  
their white sisters,  
watch how quick !  
They change, their stance !!!"  
  
" THAT"S MY SISTER MATE ! "  
  
"Okay Okay,  
I know that man !!!  
Her **** are great !!!"  
  
" WHAT DID YOU SAY ?!?  
LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT !  
YOUR GENES AREN'T WELCOME  
IN OUR RACE !!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Hold up now son !!!  
It's okay for you ?!?  
to shoot your ***,  
way up in !!!  
Black Womens' Bums !!!!!  
just like you, have always done !!!!!!!!  
since the days, when blacks were slaves  
your defence would seem ?  
to have, no case !!!!!  
Meantime, a smile ?  
should cross, my face !!?!!  
You'll excuse my choice  
to reject, that ploy !!!"  
  
"If I look, somewhat annoyed !!!!!  
Please understand, my lack of joy  
when facing, New Age, racist ways."  
  
This issue ... ISN'T ... !!!!!  
Something New ... but in 2K6 ...  
Needs to be ... DISMISSED ... !!!!!!  
  
Treating ... My Skin ...  
like a ... " God ****** Sin " ... !!!  
is merely where .....  
"The Strain" ... Begins ... !!!!!  
  
"Economists" .....  
Enlist Racists .....  
  
from days of ... using ...  
" Slavery Ships " ...  
right to .... Todays' .....  
.... " Job Markets " .... !!!!!  
  
"Subtle" .... TRICKS .... !!!  
Thrown in ... " The Mix " ... !!!!!  
  
Leave ... So Many ...  
in a .... " FIX " .... !!! ....  
  
ESPECIALLY THOSE ...  
on the ... " BLACKLIST " ... !!!!!  
  
Those who ... DON'T ...  
do as ... " They're TOLD " ... !!!  
  
when seeing how ...  
Their ... " Pay Rise " ... slows ...  
while their ... White Counterpart's ...  
"Pay Packet" ..... " GROWS " ..... !!!!!?!!!!!  
  
DON'T EVEN ... try ... !!!  
to say it ain't ... SO ...  
  
I'm sure i'd find ...  
if we took a ... " Poll " ...  
  
That .... " Imbalances " ...  
would soon be ... SHOWN ...  
and ... " Certain Covers " ...  
would get .... BLOWN .... !!!!!!  
  
But Hey ... ofcourse ...  
I should wear a ... SMILE ... !!!!!  
  
and keep on ... walking ...  
My .... " Black Mile " .....  
while ... " INNOCENT " ... ?!?  
  
while some ... " White Gents " ...  
ENJOY .... themselves .... ???  
with ... " Young Children " ... !!!!!!  
having been .... employed ....  
  
By ..... " GOVERNMENT " ..... !?!?!?!  
  
Now ....  
If they were ... " BLACK " ... ?  
  
Would they have been used ... ?  
and ... Government backed ... ?!?  
  
I'll ... let you stew ...  
and ... Think on that .........  
  
The cards in the pack ...  
are clearly .... " STACKED " ....  
Against those ... who attack ...  
if they are .... " Black " ....  
and ... Speak their mind ...  
Through prose ... or ... rhyme  
  
I guess ... THAT'S ME ... !?!  
  
The ... "Frowning Man" ...  
whose poetry doesn't ...  
.... " Fit Their Clan " ....  
  
The ... " Poetry Pros " ... !!!!!  
which ... goes to show ...  
what I said .... before ....  
should not ... Be Ignored ...  
  
My poetry speaks ....  
about ... " Separatist Cliques " ...  
and their ...  " Hierarchies " ... !!!! ...  
  
..... Racist Police ..... !!!!!!  
and ... " Corporate Thieves " ... !!!!!!  
  
and ... Clearly Shows ...  
...... " Dexterity " ......  
Intellectual Speech ....  
  
and ... " Qualities " ...  
Beyond ... Their reach ... !!!!!  
  
That's why they're ...  
..... CLEARLY .....  
  
" Blocking Me " .... ?!?  
  
from being seen ....  
Through ... " TV Screens " ...  
or being heard ... on ...  
..... " Radio 3 " .....  
  
That's .... The Way ....  
it's .... Always been .... !!!  
  
While some people ...  
KEEP ... " Telling Me " ...  
  
"Virgil,  
you are so lucky !!!!!"  
  
I Don't ... have time ...  
to explain ... My Life ... !!!  
  
But ....  
when you have ...  
A mind like ... MINE ...  
  
" Blessed with " .....  
Some ... " Intelligence " ...  
  
Allied to ... My Deference ...  
and ... Basic Use ... of ...  
  
... " Common Sense " ...  
  
The things i've seen ...  
within ... "My Life" ...  
  
makes it ... HARD ...  
  
for me to ...  
  
..... " SMILE " .....

The late hours fluorescent light flicker
From the moon to the neon red lights
The scars of our fathers written on our thighs
Scared to be seen in the imminent daylight
Freelance extortionists and racketeering blacklist
Black market, black cats, capitalizing on rats
The rat race is being run by yuppies in ties
With lies and cries of spies in in the skies

Confusing their faces with ones that I like
Indecisive for lack of a vice at the peak
I scrape together letters from the people I fight
Where notes are written about the upcoming week
The world's on fire and I hold it trembling
My fingers are burning and my shoulders broken
I buckle but seconds before I go down
The world breaks open upon the cold ground

I told you I care about you
I meant it
but you don't need another fee
tacked on as tax

It's all tactic gymnastics
attraction and accents
fantastic for habits
hazardous for fact checks

I'm just an actress in all honesty
fond of the backless
blacklist autonomy
as ****** unhappiness

You didn't care that I cared
I'm prepared to rescind it

Since erring on caution
options have flared
out

"Egypt will blow up
The Grand Ethiopian
Renaissance Dam!
Ethiopia ,a symbol
of Pan Africanism,
Could forget
Its development map,
For Egypt will help
Carry on colonial legacy
In to the future,"
So  did
A verbal dosido
The ill-famed abuser.

"We dote on Egypt,
Terror sowing
In Ethiopia.
Ironically a terrorist
My self
I will strike out
Sudan from terrorist
Blacklist
If it sides Egypt
This is my edict!"

I woke up in the morning, My cat was reading Twain,
I tugged his tail so hard, It yanked his little brain.

My Father walks down the stairs yelling "revolution on the rise."
And I know he really meant it, I could see it in his eyes.

I said: "whoa whoa pops what's up with you? You're actin' slightly mad,"
He said: "well son, here we go I'll tell whats got me sad.

Yesterday the mail came and I saw a ***** word,
It said, taxes are coming soon, You'd better hire a new nerd.

So I walked down to the town hall with this witchcraft in my fist,
they said well sir you gotta wait in line, and then marked me on a blacklist.

So I got on a bus back home, for to find a new kazoo,
and then an animal walked on and said 'son wanna hold my shoe?'

I said no way man you got a filthy disease,
You look like a racoon and you smell like rotten cheese.

Then It said hold me to sooth me ease the pain of life
And I guess I did, next thing I knew it was the end of Saturday night.

I said oh no my taxes are due I gotta find a nerd,
I saw one eating spaghetti with the cat and a purple bird.

I walked over stylishly and then in one swoop I stole the nerd,
then I kissed the cat, broke my back and ate that little bird.

Yes I loaded up my harpoon, with a fistful of grapes,
And I got ready to fire for to make my great escape.

I shoot them at my enemies, and let them pop in their face,
Then mama came, took my '**** and put me in my place.

Yelling: 'Oh Joy, Oh Joy I found my car, now lets go take the bus',
I said Lets go my dear, Its time for us to float like living dust.

Then the Medicine man Comes in with a skull on his cane.
Then he Hits mama so hard she began to go insane.

It was just then we got home so I left her on the bus,
Next time I'll just take the train, at least its color ain't like pus."

feeling burdened—it tends to happen
particularly when meddling impressions run rampant
swarm circles in my hefty head, ignore the next exit ramp, and
let devils' advocates covet the cove i donned my dome once upon never

although i know this may be chalked up to intelligence
and subsequent ignorant claims that swear it's heaven sent
i swear it’s not for me. so tell all the hell-bent docents to leave
and let live my cognizance dim—to do what i can’t. to let it be.

it is what it is
and what it is
is it’s
excessive

i don’t need no informants
playing mentee won’t mend me
i’m torn sufficiently
far as i can see, it seems

don’t mentor she who beseeches
by way of screams and screeches
me and my strings are beat
by ****** and needless needles’
stitches and ventures heedless

i’m piecing my torn fabric
it’s grown so thick
it’s a feat, recognition
when simple addition alters
fact into fabrication

like my elation
in inebriation
guards sorrow
from knocking at my door
knocks my guard down
and has me floored

it hits my inhibition too
and i’m home-free
no guilt signaling
and i pull singles
i switch with tickets
i use to ticket my skin

no appointment
nor disappointment
walking in walk-in clinics
and sketchy shops
flickering the light
it sheds on both
my faces. i can face them
only with this double vision

i watch mark
as his sketches mark me
like stretch marks,
remarkably

in hopes of realizing on the double
the vision i envision into reality
he lets me let him put his hands on me
seemingly steadily
and we feel as our arms stretch

he draws me in
fills me ink
and vibrant me pends
his vibrating steel
and sharp pens
as they liven
my limp existence
reincarnating me instantly  

after sweet sleep
i wake bitter for some reason
feel dull but also sharp-ied
peeping the nonsense i let seep steeply
into my skin last night when i was peaking

now i can reminisce
on the pain of squirming
wallow over it instead, and
not the overflown gore of streams

and catastrophic waterfalls
that break through my largest *****'s walls
they leave what makes me, me,
with breakthroughs of which it can only dream

if only i can fall like the tears asleep
that crash and wave and overshadow my role
in turn leaving without desire
to turn over no stone
nor use any for stepping on
like the ones more close to normal
do coax

i do it all wrong
like they did me
i walk on coal
though from here
it appears
as though i'm an anomaly
only my sole seethes

when on the rocks
my walker, he makes me so strong
he lets me drink him from dusk to dawn  
he says he’d **** for me from here on
i love how foreign i am to him like heron

not the bird though it’s true
us three often see hues blue
we soar blue skies when our hearts fume blue
and they feel too sore like brews do
when they're too soft to heal each bruise or
make room for pain to grow and strength to bloom
so i walk on water as walker

kills me
he’s to die for
imploring in notes low
that i not stop, so i hop on
and once it’s well thought over
he can tell
overthinking’s my problem

i stand alone in the corner,
my core knows
all my o’s and woes
can be all gone
once one o centerfolds corner
and in comes the
coroner

who walks and rear-ends me
and e-r lose hope and leave me
when he cores me from his soul
and i let my breath roam

but he sends me
soaring over the moon
soon as he shows how he listens
and soon we both know
blinding luminescence

my eyes when they glisten
make all my mourning go missing
like the overthinking overkill
i hit when morning rays missile

and he curtails them at curtains
blacker than the blacklist
my man drenched
my nemesis in
deep sleep
with the fishes  

eventually, however
again and against my will, i endeavor
on reading the biography i penned
block my own writing
and let writers block lock me in
i get stuck on the same page
thought no force impedes
the power i home in my palms
nor my thumb's ability to thumb
through the page
yet i somehow flip it
and become my own victim

i did it.
it tells the history of tears
now extinct due to me overbearing
leading to drainage that came as
the very last bead beat me
for forbidding fibs
and calling dibs on *******

still, ringing in my ears
leaks empathy
for crocodile tears
trickling
as they salivate
over their next meal,
me

i swallow my tongue
not realizing fully
i’d just had my last meal
because they consumed me
quietly
with quibbles
and plots of consuming me
openly

ignorance is less so whats lacks
and with no inkling of doubt
worse in terms of that
which the mind keeps
then refuses to release
when need be
hence: me

after i head over
obvious traps
i let flash
atop my head

like clouds overcast
i’m convinced i tripped
on my own heels
like thunder that strikes
one man down twice
out of spite

but in spite
of everything, now that i know,
my eyes and i are drained no more
see, we’ve ever since grown more so
and metamorphosed
beyond words morbid

like those i anticipate
my gravestone
will go on
to hold

this is the reality of being kept cold-cut as meat
that heads *******, idiots, dunces, cons, and so on
those who bring forth obstacles that spurt in growth
inch by inch quicker than their thickening skulls

each time
the sage i pick thinks
my life needs spicing up, either
my screams of agony are mistaken
and my inseams nipped at the bud

or my spirits appear uplifted
and mistaken are my sorrow-filled tears
with joy-plagued wails,
each time
deep-seated sage seeds **** my green

lord knows that while i understand—to some degree
the world can’t come close or know what brews
in the disorganized chaos that is me intrinsically
i don’t fib when i allege that my angle isn’t deceit

nor right, necessarily
just dense as these
basins, wrinkles and dents
my tense cortex insists on heaving  

it would be obtuse of me
to anticipate that anybody
would watch my back
if not mine and me

it's all only a tactic
and i may feign obliviousness
to support this spinelessness
and keep it all in tact

insects fester
i feel each tentacle
extend incessantly
like these rants

they all ax my lumbar
no one's barred from my club
lumberjacks and jack’s slumber
i only lust after the latter

and jack's not all bad
he’s why my caps rested
soon as he hands it to me,
expressing the extent to which

i impress him
granted
my hands-off approach
that manages
to get hard jobs done
better than jills before

he’s a mild nuisance
when one of us isn’t speaking
but he promotes my irritability
with his attempts at weaving
our fingers together

it offends me
and all i long for
is knocking him out
like him and my neck's heart

or my kneecaps’ kneepads
the cap that’s my hat
can at last roll fast,
though no one should ask

i can’t say if i’m ok
jack ko’d my voice box
and i feel highjacked
but i insist, they insist
on the charm of the third

one i get him
like the lights, off,
that’s when i go on to hop off
tip toe off his tip top to get off
on the silence my mind writes off

none of it matters to me
mankind ramps up my love for luxury
the ivory warmth Mr. Browns rain
all over my cold windshield
puts me where i love to be

without them,
antidepressants
would depress and hail on
but their chocolate depressants
elevate me and i hail mary
when they hail hope on me
and i'm newly merry

when it’s all over,
i seek refuge and rush down
and on to the one and only John
where rest can be found
he’s bold as kohl and cold
as his marble floors call for

it's he who keeps my thoughts snowed in
and spares my teeth cracks no dentures can fix
suppresses my urge to purge like Snowden honing in
on how not one man cares less for one careless node in
systems nor the cancerous danger of no protests nor dents

it’s tasteless, the rice that is humanity
so i dine solitarily
in solemn grief
seeing the uselessness we
as crumbs and morsels have come to be

individuals in division
invincible in coalescence
bound to form solid solidarity
likely as the moment

satan and saint agree
to raise their satin
black and white flags,
respectively

to enwrap
two into
one
fabric. silky, smooth, seamless
as is the cocoon
          i once was foolish enough to assume
    would secure the very same wholesome skin
                         it would later go on
to help me consume.

cannibalism.

Eyelash blinkered in hubris Rubik’s knight
Elevation of pogrom ennobled by triaged triumph minus the cynic summation of all light
Littoral swank bronzed like starlet fantasia with a Carey mountaintop jeer
Reichstag extinguished blaring sirens of cacophony capers to benumbed Linkin Park cheer
Knells intrepid by quakes of remonstrance staged in histrionic applause
Southern Colonies shifting in Charleston surgical in orderly slugabed dogged laws
Slipshod through ribbacles of rengall zenkidu among the sertivine poison ivy
Grimace at gamboled rivulets of a moribund Vanilla Sky for departed wiseacres of savvy dicey ICE toxic Harvey Dent slimy
A mannequin Marx Ralph alienated the truest alien by pioneering disdain of a hostage giraffe summiting a Swiss Alp
Master of time 12th bradycardia for Generator design parked beneath escarpments of base aphasia milquetoast in killjoy Strickland nickels away from a gubbertushed mouth
LOST legend enunciating the furor of epochs of egalitarian traipse
Trapped by the bootlick of a wrinkle of Van Winkle revolutionary agape
Curved by soliliquy master of belletrist prose
The vogue can’t help but bunt, balk, denounce the remembrance of Lady Madonna pose
We beat the muckrakers of rummaged lisp of culinary suns that the sons of privilege are emoluments to apolaustic zeal first known to transmogrified nuns, before the poppies made the few into many and the notion of an insuperable line of infinity into a spherical nullification of the concept of none
Estrapade engorges the fustilug magnet of the kitsch Kenosha Chicago Demolition drive-by-derbies “once read”
That two kings one Titanic by skin-color dashed dreams the other both the coins of tails eloped with heady dreams of head
Sacrifice shadow dancing with pettifoggery in slumps of aboriginal dances of marsupial rice
Native to extortion gouged blind as Samson exacts lachrymose cremations of Pikes Peak trick-or-treat aghast with fright
Temples raised in 46 years cemented never in the Mumbo Jumbo politics of those lacking the oceanic schadenfreude among queers
That by their exclusion the panmixia of fluid alchemy is dauntless scrabble limited by NORAD notions of Tears for Fears
Henpecked rooster awakens the serfdom of Ronald’s (sly spy) Drugs sailing with dovetails of elapse downtrodden in modern clubs
Drunken *** addict sell-out charlatans berated  by Ingram Angles sent by maleficence are the grubhub of Harriet Tubman torching promising tapestries with rugged rugs
Slinging the bait of fish-hook dimples on freckled effigies of ****** humiliation outmantled by Mickey weight
I thunder a fulgurant explosion against recrimination of white-collar criminals that philander saturnalia in pretense with facetious swarpollock freight
Crooks of tyranny exhort the paranoiacs of indemnity to sunken canned soup applause of a Warhol extortion
Berating my audience with drooling slavers of inelegant tortoise byzantine like an Istanbul dredged with intortion
Mr Deeds is not a champion of BRE Properties nor the pinnacles of inertia, a psychiatric squeeze
My orange juice is not a car chase against treecheese in terminal punitive disease
Soaring with the prosperous tongue against the walloped nativism of pounced impounds having too much fun
I let the other guardians of the order of salvation pivot vitriol in loaded dice against Orangutans of Swedish minted gum
Caesar died for the seizure of Anglican pride of a namesake percolating millenia for Brutus in the Washington Bullets of a conquered Ottawa on strike carnal with Chauvinism in regional divide
Never has there been a more hollow trope than the agency of deep state defamation of a scurrilous backbite of gnashing pride
Lost to pollster tricks of acquiescence and caricatures of a menacing personage Swift on the Riff but never the snarling Menace of a Blondie Biff
I tower above the anthills of conformity of luxury in Jamaican Bob Sled Teams testing the curiosity of enlightened “What Ifs”
Canada Dry for striking people enthused by Rye abides in the memory of reform that skulks the skunks that make every Scudworth cry
Because a Dental Dam damsel living in streets of peril fascinated by distance is the contortion of entreaty in the pasquinade of attempts at American Pie
May the city of a figurative crucifixion burn with the irony of a thousand suns as Wendy’s burgers unload on prejudice with albatrosses of winsome puns
Fixed data interpolated by convenient lies of serial killers who aim for blue skies shanked in Oswald infamy for the imposture of any flashbang revenge against cinematic guns
I blacklist the Zemeckis villainy as a trudge of travesty
Hedged lies blinkered by Batman and Robin puns redeemed by Dinosaurs of Amnesty
Obviously belittled by futures etched by a more honest infinity
Because 88 keys are not a stroke because the infinite bees know the parlance of divinity
Invited lissome taxidermies of Capone against teetotalers of parvanimity of vainglory overthrown
Showers the honest hominist reckoning of a world where neither crudity of know-nothing radical polarization owns every inept baritone
Crusading a secular war because the gubbertushed eccedentesiast spinsters of Santa Cruz deserve a gassy overtone
Torch the SC Pacific Avenue for peace
Let the world unite behind a singularity with purpose in ventilation of Speedman’s release
That antithetical Jacks of many names are wed with the progeny of enduring lists of NSA protection rather than rentgourge Denver PD eager to chaos decimated by the decimals of a region forever boycott and impeached
To the decisive curling of the frolicked Abandoned Pool servitude crass disasters are the sheol of impudent flagrant overreach
Regnant on the turmoil of invented throne
I scowl at the chicanery of Capone’s Chicago sweltering with Kenosha infamy tossing contortionist strippers a vulcanized bone in a DIA Diamond that even 11,500 years of knowledge is surpassed in condemnation of screaming E.T. calling the right home
Speak Now because the reach of forever is God appeased not by a kowtow but a mobilized ambition for Why? When? And How?
History will remember gentility as the kind steward rather than a Disco Demolition Derby of urbacity venerating a seasonal Golden Cow
Hipsters flock with folly to South African extortion for freebooters who bootlick the aceldama of war against the sublime currency of a winner surrounded by thugs
TOO MANY URBAN KIDS ARE TAUGHT BY REDUCTIVE TAUTOLOGY TO HATE The United States of America RATHER THAN NURTURING SYNCRETISM IN PATRIOTIC HUGS
Imperfect in design with disagreement in plainest sight
Sometimes libertarianism with a Democratic twinge is clearly in the right that should believe in reform even when the footloose girouettism is too tight
Yet forestalled for authentic grit the grisly rentgourge of venal abysses knows the countermand against Rand with hyperboles of the clearest *******
The true flock congregates around scepters built not with militant graft but a promenade of sultry dance for the defiant C.L.I.T.
Exercise with the Rock knowing school buses of dogmatism inferior are distraught
Dying dogmatism is a peacock of industry the yeggs can easily unlock rather than truckle with truculent Scottish Rites tasty with Connery Scotch
Defenders of the misleading staircase because of the carapace of Hovering pertinacity easily won and bought
Neither scary nor deliberate streets are rumpus of elevations of unbounded anarchy considerate but robbed by the illiterate
That the delegated mansion will be robbed by the cooperation of the remorseful idiot recognizing his snide mendaciloquence in destructive Roswell Records limerick
Scowls are on petrol and patrol hoping Tesla is a short of bravado too intrepid to sanction free-for-all profligacy in alleys that bowl
To the Emerald Street lie of hypes of perdition rather than merely a seasonal token embarrassment coal
The fossilized future is the irrevocable past because more respect is needed than the ***** of a maskirovka caste
Diamond Lightning in Bhagavad Gita prancing with the delusion of the everlasting mummification of Brawndo ash
Dinner with Egyptsy malingers on tomes etched flippant in integrity and all about the curated snare of kitsch cash
The cache valley of LASER tag shattered like Joseph Smith flagellating the confederate hayday with articulate gnash
Fast & Furious the amused by Suburban subway know the trailblazer trashes of The Stupids’ being Einstein about Boogie Dubs rather rash
Streaking through a Tucker rule the Buccaneers live for the SoulSeek of a riddled ruler benighted of prerogative of Roger Goodell bumping in his Ferrari the tucked serenade of Tool
Wrong band because they linger in the shadow dancing backpages of scandals of Norweigan hourglasses of shameful hush hush Vikings mining furloughs of pulverized anticipation sand
Humbled retinue shelves the ossified limpid droll drool
As the haze of submarines scouting pridefall galls of indolence betraying innocence becomes moral cigarettes of Menthol Kool
Reparations for chappy chapstick games of bowery riches
The urbane needs to read, discern and maneuver against whiplash found in Navi witches
Swapping homes with crack addict legalese an *** to a bronzed party crackling with cackles Home Alone
Knows a toiletry of escape gullible like Seahawks wishing they could contain a fumbled season by Mahomes
Jones methamphetamine paranoiac manure desiccated by folksy homilies of brimstone cremation deserts his flock to abide by a flagging wayward temptress
Decimated by the agency of time his Austin crenellation flounders in grimace of the untimely swoon his covert empress
Blinded by the light of darkness in subversion
Excoriated for the deeds of his permission to demote commotion into only an acquiescent dance with barbed etch-a-sketch conclusion- a half-baked *******
Quacksalver poetaster wrinkled with hatred simpering paranoia strangled by Hendrix abeyance of turgid delusion
Lurid underground Princeton gilds infested with defected dementia in cozens in the fritty of heralded mistress SHE appointed
Sandlot ravens cloistered the bravado of thirst for chosen words scrappy in clawed henpecks the pointless illegal sanctioned to brusque witticism anointed
Lamps of pathway sparkle with coruscated stargazer Winslet dreamy swank illustrious by providence
Engrenage of delopes of pettifoggery identity staggers the woozy dismal day of disjointed wounds on Native sons Denver can’t damage in a lonely campaign for the prodigal bends of Overlook Lorraine Motel bent
Intrepid in gallantry I swoop the scrivello tusked with might
Penetrating the vivid dreams of the serenade of alpenglow daylight
That love might rule over chance and probability above the specter of dynasty prodigy progeny tithing gravity in rent
Yet this taper of majestic poise will outfox even the careless gambles of the prodigal son Mr Sender already traipsed conquered and went
The mountaintop is so clear from the cloister of authenticity drinking Eminence Front of the WHO rather than the coherence of the near
Because titans shepherd the good flock without insult and not quavering with insuperable time flackey with tremulous fear
I dare this day to outlast benighted ignorance of the narrow gate of a persecution tsunami on a Lisbon tear
Because galloping ahead of the internecine sheds the serpentine craft of 3:1 Genesis met with the worst fleeced fleer
Not auctioned off like ******* vogue to the disfavor of poor taste
I am the true Royal Flush that can always count on the aced basic but mostly acidic flourish of a jest in bass predicated on the basis for Mozart pH
Today could be the summit of acclimated prodigy in startled degrees temerity could never bet against
Because you better bet the Bros and Cos of civilization are skilled in ostentation of Sterling Pound defense
Never offensive to the liturgy of triumph beckoning an apocalypse now tentative memory on a Manifest Destiny frontier rarely on wickers of extinguished cattle ranchers knowing the gamut of acumen to defend a fortress with the best fencing James Bond could dispense
Now is either a cordial joke of a flagrant anarchy balking at destiny
Or the sunrise majesty of the twelve tribes and beyond defeating the stingy bees of infamy
Your choice doesn’t defeat my voice
But your action heralds my loyalty with a triumphant Victoria of an age not for agelast geeks intimidated but living clairvoyance with fidelity to the right choice for the right time to swim in elegant rejoice
(1977 Words)

Bury me,
Strike my name from the records,
Pretend this never happened

We never ******, or kissed,
Held hands or met

In this new world,
You are untouched, unharmed,
I was never there to hurt you,
I was never there to love you

Blacklist me from this life,
And cast me into oblivion,
Where I was never even born

I was nineteen, almost twenty
back then. In the fifties.
The small after war mill town
in Lancashire
held dark hope for the future.
Smoke stacks and coal stained
buildings left from the remnants
of the industrial revolution.

Now all I felt in my heart was anger.
No jobs poor wages if you could get one.
But I had my looks and burning passion
to get somewhere in this ****** World.

My dad got me a job in the offices
At the coal mine where he was a miner.
it was on the
bottom rung of the ladder
I hated it, but it was a job.
That's where I met her, my boss.
The eldest daughter of the mine owner.

She was pretty and spoiled.
Well educated
at rich daddy's expense I guessed.
But used to her own way.
Nepotism was rife in those days.
She was thirty four but she kept
looking at me almost inspecting me.
Like her next toy I thought

But I was nineteen.  
I had never been with a woman
And she was well built and pretty.
She spoke to me gently and respectfully.
Like a teacher does to a pupil.

And as I listened all I could notice
Were her beautiful breast
and the impressive cleavage
In her blouse.

Every morning is he smiled at me
and wished me  good day.
What she did not know she had starred
In my ******  dream last night and in it
Her expensive clothes lay carelessly
On the  floor next to the bed,
That we were sharing.

She spent time with me
and taught.me a lot
about the business.
Her family owned half the town.

I had to work the weekend
the auditors were coming in
on monday morning early.
At seven o'clock on Saturday evening
we finished our preparations.

Thank you so much she said softly.
You must be famished I am.
She took me into town
in her MG sports car.
We ate at nice pub I had
three glasses of red wine.
I liked it I had never drank wine before.

She said do you have a girl.
I blushed no miss.
Why not, you are very nice looking.
Have you not found one lady
that you would like to ask out.

Yes miss I.mumbled there's one.
She looked at me I thought
I saw a tiny bit of jealousy.
But it could be the wine.
Who is she?
tell me about her it was half an order.

I called upon the glow
of my new found wine friend and said.
She's beautiful miss.
Very very stylish.
Lovely figure
and perfect gray eyes.
I don't think I have ever seen
a woman as lovely as her.

She sounds lovely she said.
But I noticed she was a bit miffed.
Why don't you ask her out.?
Because I don't think
she would accept miss.
Look she said out of the office
You may call me Elisabeth all right.
I said yes miss….er... Elizabeth.
Who is this lady you talk of anyway?

It's …..its you miss.
She went silent.
Looking at me intently.
Have I lost my job miss I asked.
No you haven't its alright.
I am much older than you.
It would not be appropriate.

Men go with ladies
much younger than they are miss.
Yes I know they do.

She took me back to the small
flat she kept in the city.
For nights that
she may be out on the town.
It was cosy and comfortable.
She poured more wine.

Why have you never married? I asked.
She smiled.
Because all those
that asked I didn't love,
all those I loved did not ask
she quipped.

I took my jacket off
it was warm with the wine.
And  the closeness to her.
My small pocket novel sided girlie
magazine fell out of the inside pocket.
I grabbed it quickly.

but she saw it.
Let me see it she said.
I passed it to her blushing.
She looked at the pictures
of the large breasted naked ladies.
They are lovely she said.

They are not as lovely as you are miss.
Have you ever been with a lady.
She asked.
I blushed no not yet,.
She said its time you did.

Taking my hand
she led me to her bedroom.
I am not sure what to do I whispered.
Hush hush now come to me,
She took me slowly and patiently.

I felt my childhood leave my body
Irrevocably rushing into her as my
manhood appeared in its place.

I slept in her arms and
when  I woke in the night.
she took me again
and held my head
onto her beautiful breast
as I slept like a child.

After that she took me to her place
after work almost every day,
She took me to her bed
and we made love.

After  few months I came into work
she called me into her office.
She looked troubled.
I thought I was getting fired.

But she said I'm pregnant.
In those days abortions
were illegal and dangerous.
And out of  wedlock babies poured
shame on lady and family.

She said I want this baby.
I told my mother
She broke it to daddy.
He's furious he wants to see you
in his office now.

I nearly collapsed
with fear and. confusion.
But I made my way to the
managing director's office.
He was a big man with a
moustache and silver hair.
Noted for his temper.

He said I make no bones about it.
You are not suitable
to a member of my family.
I had my lawyer draw up an agreement.
and termination package.

He brought out his checkbook.
He wrote a cheque payable to me
for thirty thousand pounds.
An enormous sum in those days.
Move on leave town
and never bother Elisabeth again.
He said strictly.

I do not know where
I got the courage from.
I looked at the cheque.
And thought of my
hundred and five pounds net worth.
And I tore it half.

Sir, You can fire me,
blacklist my name
in the north of England .
Make my life a living hell.
you have this power I know.
.
But I shall not leave Elisabeth
unless she tells me to go.
And even then
I do not want your money.

He stopped silently.
He always got his way,
No one ever talked back at him.
But.
There was something about this boy
that reminded him of himself so long ago
when he had not two penny's
to rub together.
and truth be known,
he married his wife Maud
because she was pregnant.

Very well
we will call my errant daughter.
and she can tell you to go herself.

Elizabeth came in the room
Her pretty eyes.
Red from crying.
Tell him to go daughter
he commanded.

I offered him thirty
thousand pounds to go away.
But he tore up the cheque.
He wants to hear you
to tell him to leave.
And he will leave
without a penny.

She looked up into my face
She saw the love
in my eyes that I had for her.

Do you want me she asked.
I answered
yes I do

Do you want this baby
she asked firmly
Yes I do.

Do you want to marry me
she asked?
Yes I do .

Old Abel her father knew defeat
when it was inevitable.
Alright against my blessing
you get married next week in white.
No bride of my family
Will go to altar great with child.

Ten years later

Abel had retired
And became the doting grandfather
To  our four children.
After the twins were born
then a year later his granddaughter
a year later his grandson.
he realised that his daughter
was the happiest women
in the north.of England.

.And his son in law
was  good husband and father.

I ran the mine
and expanded his interest
into electronics manufacturing.

We sit together on the river bank
sometimes Elizabeth and me.
I say l love you honey.
You are still the most beautiful woman
i have ever been with.

She laughs
i am the only woman
you have been with
I corrupted you as a youth.

.I am so happy you never
asked me to leave
that day in his office.
She smiled.
No,
I proposed to you instead,my  love.

Why did you not accept the huge sum
of money he offered and run.

Because
Of something you once said
about not being married
What's that then she questioned
All the ones you loved
did not ask you.
And
You were the one I loved
and you did ask me

Old Communist Movie Director

From the Criterion Collection

The object now of film-school interviews
His gravelling, decades-gone voice echoing
Into a recorder his decades-gone news
How wonderful he was, and all-knowing
About Thuh Fascists, Thuh Workers, and Thuh Jews
Hugging his resentments, and loudly crowing
About the Blacklist through his smokes and *****
How bravely he defied the Rightists, going
In exile to England on a luxury cruise.

My head full of new chapter stories
Trying to delete old memories
She calls for the first time
i find an excuse to start anew poem

My phone lights for the  second time
It is  her again ,Trying to hook me back
I have no love for her    
So her calls  carry no weight

My phone lights for the third time
For sure , She is trying to **** my time
Can I change my number ?
Or she has  to be my  blacklist member ?

At the middle of searching answers
She calls for the fourth time
I click a green button with anger
ready to spit harsh words On her

She catches  a mouth piece first
With  sorrowful  tone  “Help ! Help ! Am dying”
And then, she stops    
I Try to call her name again and again
I only gets total silence in return

Your brother came onto me
I'm sorry I hurt his feelings
But not really
He took me to the party
But he didn't want to dance
I tried to talk
He didn't respond
I think that he deserved anything he got
Especially after he called my friend
"*****"
I'm not sorry
It hurt him but it hurt me too
From this I know I'm on yours
Your Blacklist
You care about him
Then let him fight his own battles
You're the younger sibling
You aren't supposed to fight his for him
So now I'll deal with you both
You can send the hounds after me
I don't care
But once you attack my friends
That's another story
I will fight
Tooth and Nail
Blacklisted

Do you as I do believe in a global conspiracy?,
(they've already tried to delete this)
Facebook's probably in on it!
the international alliance against anything
that does not comply with their vision will
'off' us,
send in the hit men followed by the clean up crew
do you believe in a global conspiracy?

the Queen meets the chimp
( they deleted and replaced the word Trump)
do you believe now?

she's a part of it
all royalty is and it's easy to
see why,
diamond tiaras
golden orbs,
the best at each meal
anyone else feel like
a bystander?
well
we're not
we're just the dots on their card
work hard for what?
the global **** ***?
we got *** all
do you believe now?

you better not like this one
or Facebook will put you on
the blacklist.

I lost in a most tragic post
I can't recall the body when need to give it all
who said freedom is fiery
where all I had is misery
They called it a maze
where I exist with the blacklist
I am in a haze
The time will never end as I did in pace

The thought hurts so bad
That the game has turned sad
To take away a voice
And replace it with silence
Who let that go
Who let me know
When freedoms are allowed
Only conditional
The insane overseer controls his puppets
And to know that I use to have strings
Tossed twisted pulled and pushed
My career was a slave dream
Filled with a combine built like a auction
A contract like the slaves just with more change involved
Whips are the fines, jails, and blacklist
That you eagerly get assigned
Dare you speak without a sheet
Or with your mind
I kneel for injustice
I kneeled to be free
I kneeled to show my struggle
But to you a unthankful **** is all you see
I raise my hand for help but you rather me melt then disturb your selfish wealth
You must see the whole frame I love starry night but van goh was insane
To only see the vision and fall halfway thru
Football is tied to Jim Crow in the expression view
Owners spread bigotry,and lie on the truth
Expand dollars to shrink everything we do
So since we can’t say no to cops killing,
Wrongful jail dates or the rigid two step back and one half step forward life
I won’t watch the nfl
I won’t partake in a game
I wouldn’t even tag they twitter name
So this is my hurtful goodbye
To something that was so high
I wish you could see it with my eye

1951 a small mining town in Lancashire

I was only a young man of 18
back then. In the fifties.
The small after war mill town
in Lancashire was a desolate place.
Its dark soot stained buildings factory chimneys
that poured dark grey smoke
into the coal dust of air we breathed.
Even the town felt choked
by the dark hope for the future.
Smoke stacks and coal stained
buildings left from the remnants
of the industrial revolution.
Seemed to say to me
get out of here lad,
there's nothing for you.

Now all I felt in my heart was anger.
No jobs poor wages even if you could get one.
But I had my looks my youth and burning passion
to get somewhere in this ****** World.
And if I got the chance t would take it.

My dad got me a job in the offices
At the coal mine where he was a miner.
it was on the bottom rung of the ladder
I hated it, but it was a job.
That's where I first met her, my boss.
The eldest daughter of the mine owner.
She was pretty and spoiled.
Well educated and well dressed.
At rich daddy's expense I guessed.
But she was used to getting  her own way.
Nepotism was rife in those days.
She was thirty four but she kept
looking at me almost inspecting me.
Like her next toy I thought.

But I was eighteen.
I had never been with a woman
No experience, whatsoever with women.
And she was well built and pretty.
She spoke to me gently and respectfully.
Like a teacher does to a pupil.

She would bend over my desk
Teaching me the intricacy of the business,
And as I listened all I could notice
Were her beautiful breast
and the impressive cleavage
Inside her blouse.

Every morning she smiled at me
and wished me  good day.
What she did not know she had starred
In my ******  dream last night and in it
Her expensive clothes lay carelessly
On the  floor next to the bed,
that we were sharing.

She spent time with me
and taught.me a lot
about the business.
Her family owned half the town.

I had to work the weekend
the auditors were coming in
on monday morning early.
At seven o'clock on Saturday evening
we finished our preparations.

Thank you so much, she said softly.
You must be famished, I am.
She took me into town
in her MG sports car.
We ate at a nice pub I had
three glasses of red wine.
I liked it I had never drank wine before.

She said, do you have a girl.
I blushed, no miss.
Why not, you are very nice looking.
Have you not found one lady
that you would like to ask out.

Yes miss I.mumbled, there's one.
She looked at me, I thought
I saw a tiny bit of jealousy.
But it could be the wine.
Who is she? tell me about her
it was half a question
yet half an order.

I called upon the glow
of my new found wine friend and said.
She's so beautiful miss.
Very very stylish.
Lovely figure
and perfect gray eyes.
I don't think I have ever seen
a woman as lovely as her.

She sounds lovely she said.
But I noticed she was a bit miffed.
Why don't you ask her out.?
Because I don't think
she would accept miss.
She is far above my station.

Look she said out of the office
You may call me Elizabeth, all right.
I said yes miss….er... Elizabeth.
Who is this lady you talk of anyway?

It's …..its you miss.
She went silent.
Looking at me intently.

Have I lost my job, miss I asked.
No you haven't it's alright.
I am much older than you.
It would not be appropriate.

Men go with ladies
much younger than they are miss.
Yes, I know they do.

She took me back to the small
flat she kept in the city.
For nights that
she may be out on the town.
It was cosy and comfortable.
She poured more wine.

Why have you never married? I asked.
She smiled.
Because all those
that asked me, I didn't love,
all those I loved, did not ask
she quipped.

I took my jacket off
I was warm with the wine.
And  the closeness to her.
My small pocket novel sized girlie
magazine fell out of the inside pocket.
I grabbed it quickly.

but she had seen it.
Let me see it, she said.
I passed it to her blushing.
She looked at the pictures
of the large breasted naked ladies.
They are lovely, she said.

They are not as lovely as you are miss.
Have you ever been with a lady.
She asked.
I blushed no not yet,.
She said then it's high time you did.

Taking my hand
she led me to her bedroom.
I am not sure what to do, I whispered.
Hush, hush, now come to me,
She took me slowly and patiently.

I felt the boyhood leave my body
Irrevocably rushing into her as my
manhood appeared in its place.

I slept in her arms and
when  I woke in the night.
she took me again
and held my head
onto her beautiful breast
as I slept like a child.

After that she took me to her place
after work almost every day,
She took me to her bed
and we made love.

After  few months I came into work
she called me into her office.
She looked very troubled.
I thought I was getting fired.

But she said, I'm pregnant.
In those days abortions
were illegal and dangerous.
And out of  wedlock babies poured
shame on lady and family.

She said I want this baby.
I told my mother
She broke it to daddy last night.
He's furious, he wants to see you
in his office now.

I nearly collapsed
with fear and. confusion.
But I made my way to the
managing director's office.
He was a big man with a
moustache and silver hair.
Noted for his bad temper.

He said I make no bones about it.
You are not suitable
to be a member of my family.
I had my lawyer draw up an agreement.
and termination package.

He brought out his checkbook.
He wrote a cheque payable to me
for thirty thousand pounds.
An enormous sum in those days.
Move on leave town
and never bother Elizabeth again.
He said strictly.

I do not know to this day, where
I got the courage from.
I looked at the cheque.
And thought of my
hundred and five pounds, net worth.
And I tore it half.

Sir, You can fire me,
blacklist my name
in the north of England .
Make my life a living hell.
you have this power, I know.
.
But I shall not leave Elisabeth
unless she tells me to go.
And even then
I do not want your money.

He stopped silently.
and looked at me
as he stroked his chin thoughtfully.

He always got his way,
No one ever talked back at him.
But.
There was something about this boy
that reminded him of himself so long ago
when he had not two half penny's
to rub together.
And truth be known,
he married his wife Maud
because she was in the family way..

Very well then.
we will call my errant daughter.
and she can tell you to go herself.

Elizabeth came in the room
Her pretty eyes.
Red from crying.
Tell him to go, daughter
he commanded.

I offered him thirty
thousand pounds to go away.
But he tore up the cheque.
He wants to hear you
to tell him to leave.
And he will leave
without a penny.
tell him to go now.

She looked up into my face
She saw all the love
in my eyes that I had for her.

Do you want me?
she asked
I answered
yes I do.

Do you want this baby
she asked firmly.
Yes I do.

Do you want to marry me
she asked?
Yes I do .

Old Abel her father knew defeat
when it was inevitable.
Alright then,against my blessing
you get married next week in white.
No bride of my family
Will go to altar great with child.

Ten years later

Abel had retired.
And became the doting grandfather.
To  our four dear children.
After the twins were born
then a year later his granddaughter
a year later his grandson.
he realised that his daughter
was the happiest women
in the north.of England.

.And his son in law
was  good husband and father.

I ran the mine
and expanded his interest
into electronics manufacturing.

We sit together on summer nights
on the river bank.
Sometimes Elizabeth and me get a little
alone time. No kids no work.
I say to her  l love you honey.
You are still the most beautiful woman
i have ever been with.

She laughs
i am the only woman
you have been with
I corrupted you as a youth.

I whisper,
.I am so happy you never
asked me to leave
that day in his office.
She smiled.
No,
I proposed to you instead,my  love.

Why did you not accept the huge sum
of money he offered and run.

Because
Of something you once said
about not being married
What's that then?
she questioned
All the ones you loved
did not ask you.
And
You were the one I loved
and you did ask me

Of your own free will,
you release chords beyond your
throat, angering a lashing tongue
that starts fires

Of your own free will,
you travel a great distance from
where your vocals carry north,
but echoing desires,
travel south of envy

Of your own free will,
you blacklist the frail,
bury your mistakes in haste
and pave over them, with greed

Your free will isn't free at all,
it has a cost

You Know It's Funny To Me How Some People Be ...
It's Like HYPOCRISY ... DEFINES Their Breed ... !!!

Like White Girls QUICK To Run Their Lips ...
About Racists ... Who They Sleep With ... !?!

I've Met A Few Who Thought They'd Use ...
The CLASSIC RUSE of TRYING To PROVE ...
They HATE Racist Crews ... !!!!!

They Seem To Think That Talk They Bring ...
Will Make Me Feel They ... KNOW The Deal ... !?!

Why Oh Why Do These Girls TRY ...
When Racism Lies Between Their Thighs ...
And In Their Minds When ***** They LIKE ...
Are ... NOT LIKE Mikes' ... !!!!!

I LIKE That Line Because It's Design ...
Proves That My Mind Is NOT Inclined ...
To Fall For Words That Have NO WORTH ... !!!!

Are You Taking Note Girls ... !?!
Girls of ALL TYPES OH YES That's RIGHT ... !!!
You FAIR Skinned Women Need To Take Note TOO ... !!!
From Caste Systems To ... Light Skinned Crews ... !!!

These Attitudes Are Just NOT GOOD ... !!!
What Makes You Think ... Dark Skin's A SIN ..... !?!

Da BLACKER Da' Berry Da SWEETER The Juice ... !!!
Quick Shout To Alfonso ... I'm Feeling Your Tune ... !!!
That Line Was HEAVY ... Like ***** That We Use ... !!!!!

Now White Girls Are Thinking ...

... " I'm hearing that's true !?! " ...

Well Girls Listen Up ...
This Racism Stuff You Now Need To DROP...
Just Like Those G-Strings For ***** of ... Dark Skin ... !!!

So Take The ... " BIG PLUNGE " ... !!!!!
And You Might Have FUN ... ?!?

But Only Do This ...
When Your Racism's DONE ... !!!!!

The Type That You ... "Hide" ...
Because .... " DEEP Inside " ....

The Thing That You FEAR ... !!!
Is ... This Line RIGHT HERE ... !!!
When Things Are ... UNCOVERED ...

" ***** ****** LOVER !!! "

From Maybe Your Brother ... !!!
Or Maybe ... Your Mother ... !!!!

Or Maybe Your Friends Which Clearly Suggests ...
You CHOOSE To Accept Their Racist Comments ... ?!?

See Wordplay Like THIS Is NOT JUST ... " A Myth " ... !!!
There Are LOTS OF CHICKS Who FEAR The BLACKLIST ... !!!!!!

So STICK To The Zone Where You Feel At Home ... !!!
Face Up To The Person You ACTUALLY ARE ... !!!!
And Keep Your FAKE Sermons And Liberal Cards ....
Where They BELONG Right Next To Your Thong ... !!!

The War's NO EXCUSE To Hold Racist Views ...
Neither's HIS - Story ... Because It's OLD News ... !!!

UNLIKE The NEW SCHOOL Who Happily Cool ...
And Take The ABUSE ... From IGNORANT Crews ...

When They Find A ****** Who's Rich Like Hilfiger ... !!!!
It's Clear These Girls USE ... Professional Moves ... !!!!!

Like ... Paid For Girls DO ... !!!
Take Time Think It Through ..............

Meantime ... " Here's Some News ! " ...

Yes Ladies It's TRUE ... !!!
There Are SOME Black Dudes ...
Who You ... SHOULD NOT Choose ... !!!!!

In Truth ... Quite A FEW ... !!!
But Don't Get It Confused ... ?!?

There Are Some White Boys ...
Who ... You Should AVOID .... !!!!!  

NO MAN Is Immune From Having ISSUES ... !!!!!
People Are People DON'T Let FEAR Deceive You ... !!!

FEAR's NOT A Thing To Be Nurturing ... !!!

See It's FUNNY To Me What Started This Piece ...
It Stems From A Party I Was At Recently ...

A Party of Saffas' Kiwis And Aussies ...
The FINEST Young Lady ...
QUICKLY Spoke To Me About Her Beliefs ...
She Was Doing A Degree In ..... " Psychology " .....      

Then She Started Speaking About .... " Racist Themes " ....
Because Racist Words Had CLEARLY Been Heard ...
From Men Clearly SCARED When We Had Got There .....

I Told Her To ... " Chill " ...
While She Played With My Hair ... !!!
But When THE TRUTH Spilled ...

Her MAN It Was CLEAR ...
Was An IGNORANT One Who EXPOSED HIS FEAR ... !!!

When She Started To ***' ...
Cos' Her ***** Got WET Just From Touching My Head ... !!!!!

It's Clear She Is STUCK In A Mental Prison ...
From Which She WON'T Walk Even With Her BIG TALK ... !!!

She's One of The Subjects of This Simple Piece ...
Who's Helped Me  Express How Girlies Like These ...
Can Be So Naive ... And DENY Honesty ...

When Thoughts That They Play With ....
BETRAY Who They ... " LAY WITH " ...

MAN ... All I Can Say Is ...

..... " It's Funny To Me !?! " .....

Dispense sing with fidelity blithely agog
just me and mine dark shadow
slinking along the edge of night doth blog
passivity, the path of least resistance ohm my dog,
shocking voltage surges an emphatic YES,
verboten fruit adrip with succulent juices as eggnog,
a legitimately valid reason and rhyme to flog
reprobate yours truly figuratively emasculate,
thee catchword to extricate
being emotionally hogtied
warrants immediate attention,
regarding consummating series
of prurient disadvantageous
née self destructive events.
  
The best idea to expound upon,
while attempting creative
exuding genital intonations to jog
all mein kampf, I felt like a bump on a log
please... don't be hesitant
not to reserve judgement
towards this miscreant husband
whom identifies himself
as a dirt Poe imp of the pervert
analogous to rumpelstiltskin fable

whereby Lothario wannabe
boasts stud deed fallaciousness,
whose noggin of mine shaped as an egghead
topped off with pinhead blocked nog,
one aging long haired pencil neck geek
never reached maturity forever a pollywog
until froggy went a courtin'
into marital quagmire
woody ******* did slog.

More clearly, plainly and succinctly,
one sniveling poor excuse for masculinity,
(and upstanding laughingstock
regarding spindleshanks),
I continually experience
unrepentant (unforgivable) humility,
hence lame justification
Matthew Scott Harris
sought adultery, cuckoldry, effrontery...,
which unwise choices attempted
(pun intended) to fill a void
****** propensity linkedin with precepts

attributed courtesy Sigmund Freud,
though skepticism skirted
shirked getting caught red handed
sneaky shenanigans employed
barenaked lady ******* psychoanalysis
downplayed, or Oedipus complex
shrugged off Fountainhead (heavier imposition
versus Atlas) fails to bridge
(do not as Kwai)
any heavy mettle alloyed
within me psyche, and windmills of my mind.

Handy dandy blues clues
existential mid life crisis
lacked absolute zero justification
why yours truly fraught
with hormonal secretion
embarked on warpath for concupiscence
gallivanting foot loose and fancy free
sabotaged matrimonial covenant,
whereby I regularly posted and answered
personal classified advertisement
with popular Craigslist website,
thus no surprise when presto digitation,
I met gal headquartered in Coatesville;

she drove to Evansburg State Park
rearing to tame bucking bronco (me)
quashing, invalidating, contravening...
conjugal contractual obligation
renting asunder mine vocalized vow
to remain faithful thru thick and/or thin
seeking alternative ******* opportunity
feeble minded excuse
regarding irreconcilable differences
a vague catchall phrase
antithetical contrary to pledged troth,
embarking on maiden voyage
nsync with barenaked lady
partaking moist and meaty tender vittles.

I feebly attempted to compensate  
for dearth of absent teenage
Ninja mutant turtles
reptile brain and brawn bravado
investigated dating app experiences,
thus violated wedded vow think tryst
I yearned, trended and jump/kick started
Casanova paramour wannabe
years later subsequently regretted philandering
utterly disgusted at my illicit behavior
and negligence neglecting
attentiveness to offspring and spouse
forswore doting upon then
high school age daughters,
rightfully thee eldest one

(born 12/22/1996) still ******
and compromised paternal priority spawning
selfish prurient dalliances,
I das scribe, how now brown cow objectionable
frolicking courtesy Sly And The Family Stone
payback a *****, cuz feel in funky (flunky) mood,
verses when scads of Earth orbitz ago,
he profusely kissed
mouth of other voluptuous
(zoftig) older women
(consensually, flatteringly, indiscriminately)
and amazingly, kindly, thankfully... enough
in due time spouse did willingly insist

to forgive, boot never forget
long since discounting divorce from wife
nevertheless, remaining thermally uncoupled
mandated unconditional armistice
eventually note hissed
matter of fact I dreamt
(earlier today May twenty ninth
two thousand and twenty two), the gist
regarding soldier of self made misfortune
toying and tinkering harming self
casually eyed sharp pointed objects
offered especial attraction

pondering hoop fully connive fist
(cuffed) around handles of cutlery
at primal, gonadal, and brutal predilections
now... finding very little reason to exist,
hence understandably dissed
(until death do me part)
unbridled love and apology
toward thee missus and progeny,
who forever did blacklist
writ blood ginned curse with barbs.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder,
thus very little paternal (filial) love expressed
and she chose to live yonder
Oakland, California her temporary dwelling
no matter, her papa blatantly confessed depravity
YES, more'n his eye did wonder.

At present petty coated junction
non petty irreparable schism
doth rank as horrendous
on par me adopting fascism
forever sullied image ("daddy's girl"),
who once thought the world of me
selfish misdeeds buzzfeeding swelling egoism
no more how enlightened I became

ex post facto, pure unconditional acceptance
refracted light risqué behavior thru prism
where primary parental accountability
not satisfactorily explained away courtesy
Darwinism (to con seed genes), nor chauvinism,
whereby ever since time immemorial
repentance will forever be belabored
by me flagrantly disregarding monogamy
courtesy hardened libido
making mockery and travesty marital covenant.