SING IT FOR US, HEROES,
HIDING BEHING OUR HEADPHONES,
HOPING MAYBE YOU WON'T NOTICE,
THE DAMAGE OF THIS PSYCHOSIS.
WE ARE SO MUCH STRONGER ON THE OUTSIDE,
WE ARE BEAUTIFUL AND DIGNIFIED.

We just want to be heroes,
Trying to drown out our demons with our headphones.
Nothing we want to gain,
Don't want fame, just want these words to be proclaimed.
We break our bones to save our friends,
We're full of broken promises and good intents.

We're the guardians of dreams,
But we find it hard to continue to breathe,
We're hiding behind scars,
Our purpose is carved in the cracks in our hearts.
We're trying to conceal our fears,
Paint ourselves in black and white, let it smear.

SING IT FOR US, HEROES,
HIDING BEHING OUR HEADPHONES,
HOPING MAYBE YOU WON'T NOTICE,
THE DAMAGE OF THIS PSYCHOSIS.
WE ARE SO MUCH STRONGER ON THE OUTSIDE,
WE ARE BEAUTIFUL AND DIGNIFIED.

We are the social rejects,
Trying to mask our pain in the words we express.
Nothing else we want,
Don't want to be noticed, just want to share these thoughts.
We mend the hopes of our comrades,
Push them two steps forward to fall five steps back.

We're the protectors of courage,
But we're overlooked by the most observant.
We're not invisible,
But you can't see that we're individual.
We're just trying to continue,
But we're fighting the battles that you never knew.

SING IT FOR US, HEROES,
HIDING BEHING OUR HEADPHONES,
HOPING MAYBE YOU WON'T NOTICE,
THE DAMAGE OF THIS PSYCHOSIS.
WE ARE SO MUCH STRONGER ON THE OUTSIDE,
WE ARE BEAUTIFUL AND DIGNIFIED.

There are so many things I wish I could tell you.
The books I've read, & even this dark life I've led
But you aren't here.
How long has it been? 4 years?

I'm going through a lot right now.
Can you see me? Are you looking down?
I wish you could still wipe my tears & tell me it'll be okay.
Help me believe in myself just so I'll make it another day.

I remember when you would hold my face and kiss me on the forehead.
You told me in life I would always be ahead.
I feel like I've proven you wrong. I'm so far behing & I just want to give up,
But I can't. Everytime I try to say goodbye...
I see another Dragonfly.

we always argue about the same things
you think I'm confused
I think you're deranged.

we always talk about the same stuff
how you're dominant
and want me to be softer, although I was born tough.

why can't we just get along?
I write poetry
and you like songs.

Judged by my personal appearance,
like really, "you never gave me a chance,"
Others too quick to giving me a label
certainly not a good idea, I'm unstable.
Now see, do I look that intimidating?
or are you like the rest, hating.

Done some things, I refuse to repeat,
not a legit reason, for you to mistreat.
Don't judge me by my personal use,
take a trip in my shoes, learn about my root
You see my scars, plugs and tattoos,
all I see is i'm missing my shoes.

You'll get a name, whether you're doing good or bad,
especially those who didn't have a dad
No matter what, they will talk behind your back
while your boyfriend is buying a sack
Let those mice, run their trap
I count down the numbers, subtract.

Open your mouth to spread those rumors,
used to it, all started when I was a junior
Keep putting your nose where it doesn't belong,
you'll consistently talk **** life long
Sorry, I don't reach your standards,
placing your life in a hazard.

I could careless about what you say,
hoping my next UA will be delayed,
attempting to bring my esteem down,
when truly behing your words is a frown,
Grinning, not caring because I have the power,
head high, looking out my invisible tower.

I've tried under the bed,
and behing the old chair,
and that space no-one goes
right under the stairs,
i've tried hiding in bed,
and in all the spare rooms,
but there's no hiding out from
the sickening gloom,
when it starts to take hold,
it just swallows me up,
and my confidence leaves me
feeling like a new pup,
and my image distorts like
some twisted old tin,
and i fight and i try not
to let this thing in,
but it's bigger than me,
in so many bad ways,
and what starts out as hours
slowly turns into days,
they all melt into one,
and i barely exist but i
can't let this demon dish
out it's cruel twist, so i medicate
now and it goes for a while,
but i see in the mirror it's
horrid cruel smile,
ain't no hiding from this thing,
whatever it's called, but i'll
fight and i'll run and i'll hide
.......and i'll crawl

(c)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2018

The whispers I hear in the light
Are worse than the ones I hear at night.
Panic takes over and I can't breathe.
Anger continues to build as my blood seethes.
Friends are my enemies and enemies are my friend.
I realize this as over my knees I bend.
I may not be a saint but they aren't martyrs.
Behing my back or in front of my face.
They constantly make me hate this place.
Constant glares and ***** looks
Making my temper boil and cooks
Like the meat on the grill
And then make it freeze and stand still.
Wishing my temper were my heart
Killing me is like a work of art.
The whispers grow and grow and grow
But I know they will never leave and go.

You stand in a group of
"friends"
Flaunting your features in
a minidress and and sparkling water
in your hand
People talk amongst us -
Near you, around me.
They seem to talk of you -
and only you, not me
Dont mind at all actually
You dont get it.
Protuding at sharp angles,
you're all bones.
Like a corpse stuck in
midstride - you have no
Swag
Legs thinned to paper.
Rib case sketched by the stretch
of your baby blue dress.
You flirt, dance, smirk
at everything that breathes
Sadly, no ones entranced.
Think all should be jealous -
even the homozygous.
Your ego bigger than
Nicki Minaj's **** -
it spans for miles


We talk, enjoy the night
until we hear something
Ugly
"only 115? That's all?
Lose a little more... Quit eating"
They leave, you weep
everyone stares
Afterall, youve just lost
your throne and jewels.
Too diluted with your thoughts,
you would lock yourself in the
bathroom stall
wishing for your fairy godmother
You run outside - tripping,
nearly falling, leaving a glass slipper
Behing
No one seems to care.
I glance at the two at my sides,
lucky to have such friends
Silent understanding passes between
Us
We make outside ~ findin
you cryin like the worlds endin
Holding up your shoe, we walk over
put my hand on your shoulder
Like a rail, hard and thin it is.
"Im sorry", you blurt.

"Dont be.. We'll buy you your own pizza."

Walking under the trees
Somewhere in the Sologne
Somebody he misses
Making him feel alone.
Questioning the future
Not knowing how long it will last.
One day it will happen,
Leaving behing his past:
Her shade will appear
In the mist of the deep forest.
The forest of life,
Full of surprises.
A glorious day it will be,
If they make it happen.

I never really liked gardening before
But I needed to fix up the one down back
It was getting like an empty space
Behing my appartment on a track

I'm only young so much to be done
And an old gardener saw me there
Came over and said need a hand
Goodness yes as I pinned back my hair

Wasn't long and I loved gardening so
Older gardeners they really do know
How to get it all as I'd dreamed some
And how to make it beautiful and grow

Now I'm in that garden every chance
And when he sees me he will call around
I have a secret or two just how it all grew
Among my lemon grass upon the ground

terrence michael sutton
copyright 2018

I believe there are angels.
They live among us,
hiding behind masks
so effective
they fool even the wearer.
These masks aren't pretty
cause life's not easy,
even for angels.
I know an angel.
The cuts on her legs
make her think she's
a mistake.
Cause if she weren't,
then why would people hurt her?
They toss around insults
like candy.
They speak in angry tones,
hardly ever kind ones.
They brush her off
like sand.
No one pays attention,
no one really knows.
No one knows the pain she's forced to go through.
But I do.
I see the way they treat her.
I know how it makes her feel.
And it kills me.
She's haunted by demons
night and day.
They torment her.
They scare her.
They push her closer to the edge.
And I see it in her eyes...
alive but dying.
I can see through her eyes...
it's how I see past her mask.
Her eyes say the words
her lips will not.
They plead for help,
they yearn to be saved
from the darkness
closing in...
too fast...
But what she doesn't see,
is all the strength she needs
is within her heart already,
hidden behing the mask.
And though she may seem broken,
she's still an angel.
She has a purpose...
something only she can do.
She has her mask to help her,
cause though it seems a burden,
one day it'll lift another's.
I know someday she'll find her wings.
One day she'll understand.
But until then,
I'll be with her,
I'll give her strength,
I'll lift her up.
Cause she's my angel,
and she always will be.
Until the very end

I think i've gotten it back
my power
my strut
the sway of my hips
and sharp lines of my looks
have returned to me
just because of tonight
tonight was fantastic
my knuckles bled from the strength behing my punches
my core ached from holding technique so firmly
I saw stars with each kick
and it was amazing
but above all else
I  am  **back

I am talking next to that window
and I still smell that wind in the room.
You were standing there.
You were the truth of life.

Do you remember?

Sounds were coming into the room like hungry animals,
our bodies crushed together suddenly....

We were searching to find our selfs,
we were searching each other...
But those voices from outside
were too loud...
They were telling us their secrets.
The trees behing the fench
were coming together for a hug.
Do you remember the flower in your hand
which gone away with one kiss.

If you were real
for you I am talking
next to that window.
I am talking for something that I love.
These words are not for others,
there are for you,
because I want you and I am looking for you
like the moon searches for the sun.
I feel your touch
and I collect your dreams
which you left behind.

The flowers know
the way you kiss,
the way you walk
and the way you think,
for life.

All the day you were my sun.
All the night you were my moon
which shines in my dark night.

Your love was the guide
for my ship
in an unknown sea.
Do you see now the window
which is closing from the strong wind.
It's closing.

You do not belong in this world.
Maybe you are something ideal,
something magical.
I am talking to you
but you don't answer.

I say to you that...

The day has comed.
I am watching you again next to that window,
I am holding your hand against the strong wind.

No...

You are my love
and I will be still loving you
even in the rain, the snow, the dirt,
in every difficulty of life.
Your love is my hope.

Hold the window for a little more time open
because the sky wants to see
the people's miracle,
the love.
And I want to show you
something I got for you.

Do you see in that sparkle star
in this dark night.
There is where I hide my love for you,
because there my love will be forever.
From every place we will have the oppurtunity
to see our love.

And if we will be away from each other
we will laugh for the things
they passed
and we will cry for the things
they will come without us together.

How could I not see the truth behing your eyes
And sense your smell, you reek of lies
You tried to cover up but you were never true
I should’ve known better what to do
I should’ve left you
Now it’s done, you’re gone
Can’t believe that I have won
I’m so happy I could die
I escaped from you deceiving “friendship” lie
But we spent so many years together
I can’t believe I once thought it’s gonna be forever
Your influence to me, it gave me much
It taught me to endure killing pains, sickness in the head and such
Now being dead inside, it doesn’t feel so bad
Thanks to you, I can feel okay even when I’m sad
Infact, me being worse, it feels alright
My broken shape, I take it in with pride
You see what you have done, you ****?!
You think you’re all so great and perfect, but you ****
With your every word you destroyed me
I was stupid, so blind I couldn’t see
You ****** with my life in your own way
And I’m left wondering how come you never have to pay
Look at the wreck you made me be
Now who knows what’ll happen to me
Every day I spoke with you, you made me cry
Now it’s your turn to want to die

Climb a ladder into your head
See what's behing closed blinds
Understand everything you say
I wonder what I might find

I wanna walk through your front door
To rest my head on your soft pillow
And see the vibrant colors of you dreams
And possibly find out what it all means

I'll take your place at the dinner table
I wonder what you taste
I can discover if that mind is stable
I wouldn't have much time to waste

Hold your pencil, cumple your paper
Tap your foot, dart your eyes
Read books seen through your mind
What makes you smile, what makes you cry

To live, to breathe, to know your life
Just to understand it through your eyes
To be you for a while
I wonder what I'd find

did the trick,
covered the label nicely.

white shiny boxes, free to
those that work there.

nicer than throwing away,
a waste.

these will go into exhibition,
full of archives from the past,
not locked behing glass.

she gave me the old photos,
i had lost them,
yesterday

I found them.

sbm.

breathless
pant into the leaves
through the somber tender moment my heart permeates an escape
we have come to far not to turn around now
whispers
through the corridor
a hopeful memory of a time well spent in thought
my lips quiver through the notion of a mere solace intact
sullen brevity

stay close to me
feel the breeze nestled through the trees
my hands clasp with amazing fortitude
alone in my silence
thoughts of beautiful cadence
the exploits of a promise made so long ago
feelings of rapture now lifting my gait
pause to reflect

another moment to another memory
wandering in the silence
embark on Summer's end
the shadows block my inner frame
not having you in my arms is driving me insane
alone again this time I stare at the wall
in the back of my mind i here my concious call
the pull the tease of a romance gone wild
feeling as carefree as a little child
snap shot moments of my past
having so much fun with a hope that it would last

the twilight sun had tainted my inner vision
stay close to me with a touch so devine
draw ever nearer to the fire my my inflicted frame
love is the mere essence of quaint elegance
yet inside we hide behing four walls that block
we tend to always think a lot
tender moments between a father and a son
love works in many hearts
stay close to me & i won't leave
for I beg you on my knees
to enter the final ****** with a smile
cause you knew all the great while
eyes, hands & feet
with a sincere faith in your heart
you will light the inner spark to what it is I have been waiting for

Love hides behing
Dusty chests
                   And cracked walls
By the dark corner,
Where squeevy feelings crawl
Dead,
yet living
In the night of day
Behind
the sun's rays
Like the moon
that cries glossy tears
Like the moon that can feel the warmth  of her touch
But can't give it in return
Cold
Dead
Living

Here’s the thing
You spend all this time helping others
But never let anyone help you

You feel like those emotions should be hidden
Kept in a lock box
Under all those smiles

The thing is we all have a breaking point though
Behing close doors
Tears streaming down your face

You know you have been strong for to long
When you are laying there with your hand over your mouth
Trying to muffle the sound of your sobs

The day you hit that point
Thats the day you hurt
Thats the day we realize we need the help the most

Laying there crying
Wishing you were hidding
Wishing you could make it go away

Our kind of people though get up the next morning
Put on a smile
Pretending nothing is wrong

We enter the world as if we are great
A big smile plastered on our face
Pretending we don’t need the help

Waking up to the bright moon
just to ask the rising sun about you
my prayers got their words
but their answers are due
the evening beholds a question
a magical time across the space
remains a valid option
if a cloudy fountain with roses is not enough
then tonight make me a winner
Way past the blushing mars
Let me take you for a dinner
Behing the rewritten twinkle of a star

My whole life we've been
a generation about to collapse.
An abanboned cigarette burned
down to a cylinder of ash.
We get up each day
full of new aches and old hurtings
and we make our commutes
to chain ourselves up to our hauntings.
We find ourselves caught in forever.
Our fingers break, our nailbeds bleed
as we scratch at eternity. Stuck fast as flies
our bodies shake out sorrow and need.
We're preached body positivity
and self ******* care
by billionaires with no intent
to ever ******* share.
We look at heavily curated streams
of the lives of friends, who boast
their picture perfect weekends
and wonder what we could ever post.
Between work and sleep
we manage something like twenty-three.
That's hours a week we don't owe.
For less than a day you can find us free.
People scream at us to fix it
while giving no proffered solution.
The blue strong arm of the system
kills in the streets with no retribution.
We find no solution
from asking or starting fires.
We're just cast away
as criminals or as liars.
I'm not Superman, I don't have the answer
though I really wish I did.
But we aren't Kandor
safe behing glass or lid.
And the wind will find the cylinder
and scatter it to ash.
And just like my whole ******* life
we'll still be seconds from collapse.