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  Mar 2015 Renmar
Delusional Minds
The world roared in '94,
When I was born, the skies were torn,
Tiny horns but wore a halo,
Depict horrific sides of angels,

Thunder rumbled, lightning struck,
Hunted, humbled, blinded, stuck,

Turned my back on shining doors,
The world roared in '94-
  Mar 2015 Renmar
DaSH the Hopeful
Slender slippery shadows slither straight at my figure
Memories that come with weight I try not to remember
          This gallows consists of tightwires and tighter knots
Thinking of a way out is bait
Doubt outweighs triumph on a daily basis
    Attention is called to failures while *success dies from budget cuts too deep to bandage

           Being broke and broken you incure a lot of damage and debt
        Ruined plans and regret
And learn to love when the rope holds tight around your neck
     Stability of any sort is necessary
     When the drop is so **** scary

        *Hell is just a phone call away
               And they have a billion ******* receptionists ready to rapidly redirect your call

    A donation of one ****** soul can get you a sidewalk all the way to Hell's blackened gates
     Either way you arrive sleep deprived
    *Nightmares of reality plant seeds deep inside

Creating sleepless nights
And I seek advice in low places
    Because I'm scared of heights
I fail to recognize the irony

  The noose is too tight
I'm so far above the ground
    I don't think the drop would bother me anymore
  Feb 2015 Renmar
DaSH the Hopeful
I silently burn
But my ashes are just sweat
I drink from my urn
But all I taste's regret*

I dont think of you lately
I dont notice these changes
I've lost control of my anger
I feel us both start to hate me
I feel us both become strangers
My clothes are all cloaked in anguish
I use these ******* erasers
Everytime I'm mistaken
Take my loss and keep racing
To find out where this flame takes me
An absolute embrace
Of all of my damnation
Steady taking a step back
Surveying situations
Tired of *******
Finding where this flame may take him

I silently burn
But my ashes are just sweat
I drink from my urn
But all I taste's regret
I thank you for your time
And stumble before I fall
Weeping worlds into existence
Just incinerate it all
  Feb 2015 Renmar
DaSH the Hopeful
Some things never change

      The circular stains on the ceiling above my 
heart shaped bed didn't exist under that rule

  Sometimes they *seemed
           And sometimes that made me feel ok
        But other times, as I lay in bed,
            Somewhere near the halfway point between laying down and falling asleep,
       I stared up at them and they moved
         Left and right
Ellipsing each other,
    Becoming ovaloid in shape

Sometimes they simply flitted away, vanished

    I thought them gone,
But they continued to return.

They would not be so remorseless as to leave and not look back to see the blank space they had left.

     So my little circular stains stayed for a while.

    I was happy looking up in wonder at something I could never understand but never dared question.

   Until one day I simply wasn't. My interest in the stains steadily faded until I began to drift off on my side staring out the window, searching for owls I could hear but not see. These sounds made me hope.

They made me open the windows I had locked tight.
They made me breathe.
    Those sounds lull me to sleep even now.

*And I've stopped looking for the circles completely
  Jan 2015 Renmar
DaSH the Hopeful
Ripping the pages away from my brain
And out of eyesight
I focus in on the pain
Its waves are soothing
They wipe away the ink stains leaving a clean slate

I DO NOT focus on the memories of every single word
Only the important ones that seldomly occured
Of course
Without which where would I be?
Weak and weary watching these waves wash over me.

But these words are just characters
They die off often and can be replaced
But the memories they brought with them,
The ones of your face...

Are gone.

But your love remained.
  Jan 2015 Renmar
DaSH the Hopeful
The only thing i solemnly swear
Is to violently tear
A hole in the sky
And climb through the air til im finally there
A few died on a cross just to try and be heirs
Facing facts God's face is black and they're inherently scared
If i reach a throne
Physical or metaphorical
I'm dealing miracles like morphine drips
And you could score a few
Im holding torture tournaments
Inside the gates of heaven
God begging ME for mercy as i torch him and his brethren
Eleven times over I've tried to bind Jehovah
To a book men have died for trying to be soldiers
Writ in blood the words inside lose all their touch
Im losing all this blood just to try and feel the rush
Of turning the last page and alighting all the brush
Don't back away from the flame

Its just me

Talking to US
I am Legion?)))
  Dec 2014 Renmar
DaSH the Hopeful
Boostin' and we're mobile
But we still don't see no bars
Laugh it off in the back of the car
Smoking cigars
Whole lotta trouble lately that's been creepin in my mind
Cash low ******* status when I get into a bind
Settle balances breaking tablets in half just to unwind
Knock over knock-offs inching my self from suicide
I told myself that I'd do this suppose it's do or die
Cause I'm cracking under pressure influenced youth who will ride
Down to make this money they don't want me to make
I'm prone to make mistakes taking steps that I hate
Toward the door with more in store than what they see on my plate
But how do they expect me to eat?
No one's feeding me grapes
Palm fronds fannin' my face
Can't relate
To the ******* they paint
Fade to gray

This has been a public broadcast
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