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"baren" poems
These warm sheets cradle me with memories of last night. I can sense you -- your baren body in the same sheets as mine. These 12 inches between us feel like miles -- back to back. Couldn't you just hold me for a little? This ice on my shoulder is starting to burn The crystals grow to form a protective coat That resemble the stalagmites in my cavernous heart. Eyes glazed over, the warm sheets rustle and your sweet breath grazes my neck. Your soft lips on my jaw line and a wondering hand on my thigh, Yet I remain as frigid as the ice on my skin. When you're quite finished, you'll leave me with agitated sighs. I'll remain and slowly waste away in warm sheets, crystallized skin protecting the embers of the girl within.
0
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 2:20 PM UTC
Cold Shoulder
Roaming these empty hallways With dead eyes I see nothing of interest Roaming from room to room I see no light to lead me through the dark It's a blind stumble There's no joy And all I see are baren walls As I continue on walking I keep on searching with half opened eyes Partly wishing to find some meaning in all the emptiness Half hoping to find some light to bring back color to this dull life Cliché isn't it That it was you who sparked some life in me With a simple smile Simply acknowledging me It gave my life a little bit of meaning So I continue walking through these empty hallways alongside you The barren walls seem to have gotten some color The hallways don't seem as dark The lights seem to be working again Then others came More beings who spurred something deep within Something absolutely human It itself was light And it interested me A difference from the same dark So I continued walking alongside my new companions Together we all walked No longer did I search in empty rooms Or gazed through broken windows Because I somehow managed to leave it all behind when I walked through the door that led to the outside world To the life full of color Full of new sounds and smells To a brand new world full of wonder and interest But what's most interesting Is what led me to this world The friends who brought me here Who were the light amongst the bland And the friend who started it all So I'll explore this new world with him and the others To see what else I might find of interest To see what else might give my life meaning
0
Apr 26, 2016
Apr 26, 2016 at 1:36 AM UTC
Roaming
Roaming these empty hallways With dead eyes I see nothing of interest Roaming from room to room I see no light to lead me through the dark It's a blind stumble There's no joy And all I see are baren walls As I continue on walking I keep on searching with half opened eyes Partly wishing to find some meaning in all the emptiness Half hoping to find some light to bring back color to this dull life Cliché isn't it That it was you who sparked some life in me With a simple smile Simply acknowledging me It gave my life a little bit of meaning So I continue walking through these empty hallways alongside you The barren walls seem to have gotten some color The hallways don't seem as dark The lights seem to be working again Then others came More beings who spurred something deep within Something absolutely human It itself was light And it interested me A difference from the same dark So I continued walking alongside my new companions Together we all walked No longer did I search in empty rooms Or gazed through broken windows Because I somehow managed to leave it all behind when I walked through the door that led to the outside world To the life full of color Full of new sounds and smells To a brand new world full of wonder and interest But what's most interesting Is what led me to this world The friends who brought me here Who were the light amongst the bland And the friend who started it all So I'll explore this new world with him and the others To see what else I might find of interest To see what else might give my life meaning
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42
Soft silouhettes creep into my bed and wrap ribbons around my head ribbons for the dead. I am what they could have been instead. They could have been a frog They could have been a hazey fog But they have been all, all along. I'll watch them dance to my sleepy song. I'll watch them dance to my sleepy song. There are butterfly bones stuck in my teeth I scream! Bare wings bounce off my boots. Atleast if it had been spit, I could have shined my shoes. The butterfly had nothing to lose. The butterfly had nothing to lose. Lizards slither through motions lather Curve around the edge of the end. Pulled still by the momentous illusion Of those fat rat gems dripping juices. I'll drink a glass with my Breakfast under evil's gazebo. ** HARD. MAD. SLOW.** -StrAngel https://soundcloud.com/spiritbarehear/thirst
0
Jan 12, 2013
Jan 12, 2013 at 8:00 PM UTC
BAREN RIBBON THIRST
Du stråler virkelig i blændende lys og på broer over søer i københavn og om morgenen til kaffe og på mandage under grå himmel og bare sådan generelt. Din personlighed smiler til folk, og det er nok derfor du stråler. Du fortæller historier med dine øjne og kysser folk med dine smil og krammer dem med din latter. Men alligevel kender ingen dig; du børster tårer væk med fingrespidserne og løber videre ud på vejen. Du kysser drenge du ikke kan lide, og aldrig dem du har kigget på i baren. og du vælger altid at tage hjem med fremmede. Du fortalte mig en gang at det er den tid du bruger på at lære dig selv at kende. At du sammen med fremmede bliver mindre fremmed for dig selv. Så kyssede du min næse og forsvandt bag gadelampernes skygger med en jeg ikke kender i hånden. Jeg er den som kender dig bedst af alle. Jeg har set dig stråle overalt, men jeg har på fornemmelsen at for at kunne stråle som du gør med folk, så er du i mørke uden dem. Og jeg kender dig godt nok til at vide at du har mørkerad.
0
Oct 14, 2015
Oct 14, 2015 at 7:01 AM UTC
Solstråle
Clouds of Ash                       soot                           cinders smoother our lungs, and choke our souls My blaze, once contained                                           loving                                                  warm Erupted into something wild, Something burning completely out of control. Ive seared every inch of you to blisters                                                                  to bleeding                                                                               to exhaustion. I took, unwaveringly so, to feed my flames, to feed their insatiable destruction. My love and passion, once demonstrated, turned                                                      to madness                                          to deafening                                   to draining Fire took ever inch of us. I watch now helplessly as the Ash disintegrates                  taking to the wind                  dissolving in the air The Earth, our foundation now lies scorched                                                                       seared                                                                                and baren.                           I desperately pray for rain, or a mighty Phoenix                                      ANYTHING to regenerate the beauty                                                            the growth.                                      I desperately pray, for a second chance                                                               from you.
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Jul 25, 2016
Jul 25, 2016 at 5:56 PM UTC
My Destruction
Clouds of Ash                       soot                           cinders smoother our lungs, and choke our souls My blaze, once contained                                           loving                                                  warm Erupted into something wild, Something burning completely out of control. Ive seared every inch of you to blisters                                                                  to bleeding                                                                               to exhaustion. I took, unwaveringly so, to feed my flames, to feed their insatiable destruction. My love and passion, once demonstrated, turned                                                      to madness                                          to deafening                                   to draining Fire took ever inch of us. I watch now helplessly as the Ash disintegrates                  taking to the wind                  dissolving in the air The Earth, our foundation now lies scorched                                                                       seared                                                                                and baren.                           I desperately pray for rain, or a mighty Phoenix                                      ANYTHING to regenerate the beauty                                                            the growth.                                      I desperately pray, for a second chance                                                               from you.
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30
There are so many people I miss, especially my wife, and the very exciting things we used to do together. Sometimes I am sorrowfully speechless at the thought of them, and often drowning in a pool of private tears over the loss of my one true love. She looks past me as if to see through me as anything and everything deserves her attention more than I do. However hard I try to pretend it isn't there, a gnawing heartache lingers through the day from the hours of crushing melancholy in the night, seeping into the tone of my voice, fading the vivid colors of the world to a drabby gray. Even in laughter, I have to fight the dark clouds that threaten to cast a shadow in my expressions. Can't pull a rabbit out of the hat anymore. No more escape tricks. I am, fresh out of hope, physically exhausted, emotionally defeated to my core. It is a very lonely place where all the doors have been shut and bolted from the outside, and the four baren dingy walls that fill my vision in the dimming landscape of life are a stinging reminder of my failures as a father and the inability to measure up as a good husband. That hour is here, I knew it would come. I'm off, to a better place. Goodbye.
0
Feb 5, 2014
Feb 5, 2014 at 10:43 AM UTC
Somber Parting ~ Through The Eyes Of My Late father ~
Great boulders of strength blended with murky brown, standing tall with baren trees scattered in between with greenery. Ocean's deep with aqua blue and silverlined waves .
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Aug 18, 2014
Aug 18, 2014 at 3:28 PM UTC
Beauty of nature
Sometimes we get lost in our darkness. The only light beyond windows we keep covered in blinds Someone opens them, someone closes Yet no one seems to notice, nor tends to, the bleak starkness The naked baren-ness behind those Blinds that cease to conceal but rather reveal; a red rose Enchanting and wondrous, I suppose Not a soul knows about the treasure I find in the darkness.
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Jul 2, 2013
Jul 2, 2013 at 12:52 AM UTC
Finding It Means Losing It First.
Years sprawl backwards Across the baren hills behind me From this distance I see more clearly The tangled knots of pain I tied so tightly Trying to lock away the burn of loss Trying to hide the sting of caring The intricate dance of ropes Gently cascading together The ache is all connected All the hurt melded into one system Across the landscape of my history Too many years pretending I didn't care So much time spent shielding my eyes Filling the space with distractions and Convincing myself that I had to do life alone Abandoning myself and my people Under the false pretense of self-sufficiency I traded showing up with vulnerability For empty space and loneliness Feelings I could hide and fill instead Of risking rejection from those I love I've cut connections with a blade So sharp and unnecessary Instead of trying to hold and support them Knotting the end like a clean cut When there's nothing clean about loss Ignoring the burn like I didn't care Until years later I can't run from it anymore Back home for the first real time in 10 years There's nowhere left to hide The ropeburn aches across my limbs Leaving tattered patterns along my skin Now I'm trying to live inside the fire instead Not running or hiding from the truth anymore If I want to grow beyond burns and flames Then I have to feel through all the pain
0
Aug 18, 2023
Aug 18, 2023 at 8:43 AM UTC
Regret
It’s hard to meet someone serious at college. Everyone’s busy, self-centeredly grinding away at their dreams. So much so that people tell you to not even try (especially as a freshman). I was mostly at ease with myself—as a freshman. I had an excellent skincare routine—it was downright luxuriant, and it kept me going, through that romantically baren and lonely year. But we humans hope—we buy lotto tickets to dream on—though we know the awful math. We Gen Z’s seem to have our own unique brand of loneliness, born of covid and Internet-age experience. My romantic expectations, sophomore year, were low—ok, unmeasurable. Looking around was depressing. There were socially awkward STEM majors, jocks, frat men (sure the world’s laid-out just for them) and ‘CSOM Bros" (business majors more interested in parlaying my Grandmère’s money than me) and the elusive, emotionally reserved, ‘regular guys.’ But the unexpected can happen. We all know how crowded campus coffee shops are—the students move in and out in tides as noisy as the real, salty ocean. And then there you were, a rumpled, 25-year-old doctoral student—from another world—asking to share my table. The loudest thing in that room was your sense of stillness. You seemed to be a new and distinct species, and as we talked, you seemed to somehow smooth my anxious edges. After a few meets, the thought, ‘I really like this guy,’ seemed to have its own gravity. We somehow managed to thread the ‘too busy to care’ dynamic, and as time went by, you helped me channel my absurd, fiery, pastel-painted, first-love, early-twenty girlhood heat into something longer lasting, deep and authentic. Congratulations! It’s been two years. Separating now, would be like removing the salt from the sea. . . Songs for this: Playing House by Kudu So Much Mine by The Story After Last Night by The Revlons
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Jan 18, 2025
Jan 18, 2025 at 1:00 AM UTC
to someone
It’s hard to meet someone serious at college. Everyone’s busy, self-centeredly grinding away at their dreams. So much so that people tell you to not even try (especially as a freshman). I was mostly at ease with myself—as a freshman. I had an excellent skincare routine—it was downright luxuriant, and it kept me going, through that romantically baren and lonely year. But we humans hope—we buy lotto tickets to dream on—though we know the awful math. We Gen Z’s seem to have our own unique brand of loneliness, born of covid and Internet-age experience. My romantic expectations, sophomore year, were low—ok, unmeasurable. Looking around was depressing. There were socially awkward STEM majors, jocks, frat men (sure the world’s laid-out just for them) and ‘CSOM Bros" (business majors more interested in parlaying my Grandmère’s money than me) and the elusive, emotionally reserved, ‘regular guys.’ But the unexpected can happen. We all know how crowded campus coffee shops are—the students move in and out in tides as noisy as the real, salty ocean. And then there you were, a rumpled, 25-year-old doctoral student—from another world—asking to share my table. The loudest thing in that room was your sense of stillness. You seemed to be a new and distinct species, and as we talked, you seemed to somehow smooth my anxious edges. After a few meets, the thought, ‘I really like this guy,’ seemed to have its own gravity. We somehow managed to thread the ‘too busy to care’ dynamic, and as time went by, you helped me channel my absurd, fiery, pastel-painted, first-love, early-twenty girlhood heat into something longer lasting, deep and authentic. Congratulations! It’s been two years. Separating now, would be like removing the salt from the sea. . . Songs for this: Playing House by Kudu So Much Mine by The Story After Last Night by The Revlons
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19
It was a breeze that eased over the swamp with a fog that longed in slowing song to the swaying trees, sleepily reaching for the strings. The breeze turns into a gust, rolling up, and bellowing over the street, shaking the budding leafs of bushes, and pushes up the side of me, slithering through my sleeves it eases into my breathing, and coiled up the meaning into one exact laser pointed anointing of a singular fact. And I, Am, Back, from circling colors that leak from the seams of everything, pooling in black encapsulations around the reeling remnants of sentiments hosted in a picture perfect frost. As they melt away in the fading facade of the finality that fettered away, as dawn gave way to days breaking in the lights that refracted in attraction to the baren redacting of my status upon the pavement of the street that i stood for so long on, waiting for the fog to lift its grip, but instead we drifted toward home again.
0
Feb 16, 2013
Feb 16, 2013 at 4:11 PM UTC
The Change
Is it fair to say I've found the one I hope to lie next to In summer heat near the crashing waves as the fading sun bursts at its seams to kiss as people sleep and run down baren streets; Not caring what people think as we scream in woods once the stars are at their peak; I've found the one to make memories with;
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Apr 6, 2011
Apr 6, 2011 at 6:04 PM UTC
For Him
Dark, gray, lonely. Baren with lost souls wandering the streets, empty hearts, empty stomachs, empty eyes. Then, it came. It dropped from the sky the way tears fall from my cheek. Little bundles of cold, freezing the burning hurt, drenching the scars with a blanket of a new day a new thought. They rise from the dead, back, alive, and ready to roll. Smiles leap across like rainbows on skies, eyes lit the way you build a bonfire with frosty trembling hands, movements jerky with fervor. They're back.
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Jan 3, 2015
Jan 3, 2015 at 12:31 PM UTC
Welcome back
I went adrift Into the wood Wouldn't you know I couldn't or should But I am a fool And that's what I did And nonsense Is all the woods Would me give The ground is but rock And wet is my sock And rangers are strangers And city folk mock So fire we made While the baren trees swayed In the pitch black of night In a yurt hovel cave The drinks were a pouring As camping is boring And What is there other than waiting for morning. Why the did I go What the hell did I think Knowing that outdoor activities stink The sleep is not sleep And the food is all meat And strange ranger Rick says you must be discreet. So **** all the bears And the fly's and the ticks If I had more than one They could **** extra ***** So head what I say And stay far away From state sponsored State parks the rocks and sticks Stay home and inside just turn on Netflix
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Oct 9, 2016
Oct 9, 2016 at 7:57 PM UTC
Camping *****
I am the aggied oak , . . . a hold fast of reality . Now autumn's shield has been lifted and cold chills my scaly limbs , . . . adorned in acorned memory , buried beneath the fragile leaves . . . I will do as you ask of me , forget all , so be it as you please . My thoughts of love are now hollowed out empty words , that fall far from from my presence . . . like autumn's flying leaves. The sentences of given grieves , can no more bare . . . the crunch of forgotten feet . Life naked , stricken , stripped down bare . . . falls the last days of autumnal leaves . The evening wind sends leaves racing . So stoic now will I pretend . . . as the cold chill embraces , all my baren limbs .
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Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 7:54 PM UTC
Words of Fall
YOUR NAME IS EDWARD LIKE THE KINGS AND IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE YOU ARE THE KING OF MY HEART AND YOU WILL ALWAYS REIGN THERE SITTING UPON THE HEART SHAPED THRONE WHERE YOU BELONG AND WILL ALWAYS STAY RIGHT THERE IN MY RIB CAGE BUT THAT KINGDOM USED TO BE COVERED IN FLOWERS BECAUSE IT WAS BAREN AND ALONE AND SILENT AND DEAD THEN YOU CUT DOWN THE FLOWERS AND GAVE THEM TO ME WITH THE PROMISE TO KEEP ME SAFE AND HERE I AM ALIVE AND IN LOVE IN YOUR ARMS AND YOU DO KEEP ME SAFE FROM THE DEMONS WITHIN ME I LOVE you
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Oct 19, 2013
Oct 19, 2013 at 11:29 PM UTC
EDWARD
THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS                        F                          A                             L                               L                                 I                                   N                                     G! our sitch                    at the moment                    is quite the same unless we are crying                      WOLF! WOLF!               thank u                miss info                 dis-em-e-na-tor                   donny j     without whom      we wouldn’t                                      be standing                                       under umbrellas           with baren spines            as the thunderous                       angry skies            fully open upon us Presidential now, are we?            Yoda would posit To the game, late you are #45 THE SKY IS FALLING as wall street is               we                shelter in place                social animals that we are      self isolate      worry     catastrophize    ignore           attempts to hold on                   we                    reach out to comfort                                    to be comforted get out your cards throw the i ching            the runes program & grid your crystals wash your hands cover your mouth maintain isolation                 social distance daren’t cough              sneeze              touch try not to breathe                   thru all this                    cling to sanity          cuz baby              looks like we just                      stepped on the carousel
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Mar 21, 2020
Mar 21, 2020 at 9:15 PM UTC
Heed Chicken Little
THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS                        F                          A                             L                               L                                 I                                   N                                     G! our sitch                    at the moment                    is quite the same unless we are crying                      WOLF! WOLF!               thank u                miss info                 dis-em-e-na-tor                   donny j     without whom      we wouldn’t                                      be standing                                       under umbrellas           with baren spines            as the thunderous                       angry skies            fully open upon us Presidential now, are we?            Yoda would posit To the game, late you are #45 THE SKY IS FALLING as wall street is               we                shelter in place                social animals that we are      self isolate      worry     catastrophize    ignore           attempts to hold on                   we                    reach out to comfort                                    to be comforted get out your cards throw the i ching            the runes program & grid your crystals wash your hands cover your mouth maintain isolation                 social distance daren’t cough              sneeze              touch try not to breathe                   thru all this                    cling to sanity          cuz baby              looks like we just                      stepped on the carousel
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57
Walking on the streets I used to know In the cold night's winter air Stepping back in time to see if I could recapture those moments I lost there In that tall oak of baren arms uplifted Where once kisses were freely gifted And the cracks in the sidewalks makes me wonder did I break a back Way back when When I claimed these lands as mine Now I am a ghost of what I was before Without merit Disinherited The cold my constant companion A bank of ever widening cracks The cold is hungry for my heart It demands my soul
0
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 9:35 PM UTC
Beyond the Streets
I treasure these stone walls that keep me warm at night, when I know its other occupants share no spark. The bitterness and filth of the night hold no triumph over me when the darkness of these baren walls hold me tight, bundled in their sheet of black silk. Walls are so inviting, they make a home and a fortress for my dreams to spindle into webs of mysteries and delights only I can fathom. For there is no need for windows nor doors when I do not intend to leave and there is no reason for me to depart. The moon has broke my heart, and the sun has crisped my soul far too often. My mind is all that remains intact and must be protected. No rabid creature can disarray my beautiful mind again. It must be kept sacred in these beautiful stone-cold walls.
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Jan 4, 2019
Jan 4, 2019 at 3:41 AM UTC
My Dearest Apathy
In the baren wasteland I call home There's clouds that hang overhead. Dark, mysterious clouds. Swirling, in an endless, ballet of misery. They sit there. Teasing me. I want it to rain so badly. I yearn to be held, kissed by the moisture of the dreary gems. And sing a lullaby most sweet. Gentely murmuring the darling melody. But no matter how much I beg and plea, I probably won't feel, let alone see..something as enchanting as the rain of today. I can only remember the damp rain of yesterday. And dream of the Mist to come
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Jul 7, 2014
Jul 7, 2014 at 10:08 PM UTC
Rain
Sometimes life is perpetually the calm before the storm. Everything can be fine, peaceful silences, and glowing sunsets but you always feel that tug of regret, for what is yet to come. Living life in this state of unknown can grind you down to the bone. Can make even the most familiar of places, not feel like home anymore.
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Jan 13, 2019
Jan 13, 2019 at 12:02 PM UTC
Baren
“Will you barter for your garden?” the familiar stranger taunted. His haunting talk caught on a loose thread in my heart, recalling time and battles fought. Make no mistake about the fae. I must admit I was afraid, for I have seen my adversary tear out the grass’s screaming hair, poison the soil with atmosphere arid, strip the baby branches baren, shave the landscape clear. I need not obey him. I have in my hands a ***** and around this place an angry hedge. He can not prevail unless I show him the way. “No,” say I, “No bartering in my garden today.”
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May 1, 2020
May 1, 2020 at 2:15 PM UTC
Sacred Ground
Boxford (Trees) Something wicked Towering over All that lives below, All seems quiet Until a storm initiates Armageddon on the lives beneath. Newburyport (Snowball Fight) You ever hang out With a dude you think Is a complete ******* But then you realize, After a wholesome Snowball fight, that He’s actually still ******* Terrible? Salem (Fake Witches) Demons are supposed To be horrifying- Morbid creatures Who wish the destruction Of all mortal begins. So yes, I’d consider You salem freaks “witches.” Haverhill (Badasses) The towers here are Reinforced with pure Awesomeness- If something was going To fall, it would have Done so already. Dogtown (Real Witches) The four mile hike Was terrifying. Each sound Proliferating In my mind As we walked. There were witches there alright, And at anytime, they could extend A cold hand and pull you into the night. Plum Island (Heath) Oh ******* **** My tank is low Why did I drive So far alone? It’s cold and baren Not a life form in sight, I’m about to break down- -And campout for the night.
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Apr 25, 2018
Apr 25, 2018 at 11:52 AM UTC
Essex Breakdown
The walls are bare and impossible to break down. No way in. and no simple way out. The windows are boarded shut, with splintering wood. The shredded shades are drawn, to **** any possible hope of even a sliver of light. A single bulb hangs from the ceiling, long since burnt out. The hard concrete floor is cold beneath her bare feet. A wooden chair stands in the center of the room, but she prefers to sit on the floor. Thinking that maybe, hopefully if she curls up enough she’ll no longer be there. Then, she can simply vanish into thin air. Is it bad that she thinks of such a thing? Yes it is she’s just thirteen. They wonder why she feels this way, her life is perfectly lined up with every detail planned out and every possible event accounted for. The perfect life she is expected to live. She will do well in school, get A’s in all her classes, get into a private high school. Then she’ll go on to an Ivy league college. How can she not be happy with her life? Doesn’t it sound perfectly perfect? What more could she want? Maybe she just wants to be heard but no one will listen because all they can think is what more could she want than this life? Maybe she wants to go to high school with her friends. Maybe she wanted to go to that party yesterday, but couldn’t because she was studying because if she gets below a perfect score on the test she won’t be the best and that strays off the path of this life laid out for her. Oh no no no now we can’t have that. So maybe it would be easier to just sit in a room with baren walls, closed windows, and concrete floors where no one can get in. A room that was never there until she came along. A room she built with her own two hands, piece by piece, bit by bit, until she put the last nail in the last window, making it impossible to get in, but not impossible to get out. She could just leave. She could kick down the door. She could unnail the boards. She could be free. She could escape. She could finally burn down this House of Hate. But out there, there are people, there are people with expectations that want things done the same people who are forcing her to be number one. But she doesn’t want to be number one all the time. She just wants to have fun, to be free, to have a say in how her life is layed out because you think it’s a neat straight line but she would prefer it to be a scribble all over the page. She just wants to have a say. But no one will listen to her voice, it is overpowered by too many people saying no, too many people saying this is what you do. But her voice is never heard, so why keep wasting her breath? Her room is never found, and no knocking ever comes. No one ever starts banging on the door. No one screams at her to let them in. No one comes to save her. And she’s gotten used to life being this way. So instead of wasting her tears, on “friends” who don’t seem to care, she just sits in this room staring at the wall hoping wishing praying that there was none of her at all.
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Sep 24, 2019
Sep 24, 2019 at 3:46 PM UTC
The Room
The walls are bare and impossible to break down. No way in. and no simple way out. The windows are boarded shut, with splintering wood. The shredded shades are drawn, to **** any possible hope of even a sliver of light. A single bulb hangs from the ceiling, long since burnt out. The hard concrete floor is cold beneath her bare feet. A wooden chair stands in the center of the room, but she prefers to sit on the floor. Thinking that maybe, hopefully if she curls up enough she’ll no longer be there. Then, she can simply vanish into thin air. Is it bad that she thinks of such a thing? Yes it is she’s just thirteen. They wonder why she feels this way, her life is perfectly lined up with every detail planned out and every possible event accounted for. The perfect life she is expected to live. She will do well in school, get A’s in all her classes, get into a private high school. Then she’ll go on to an Ivy league college. How can she not be happy with her life? Doesn’t it sound perfectly perfect? What more could she want? Maybe she just wants to be heard but no one will listen because all they can think is what more could she want than this life? Maybe she wants to go to high school with her friends. Maybe she wanted to go to that party yesterday, but couldn’t because she was studying because if she gets below a perfect score on the test she won’t be the best and that strays off the path of this life laid out for her. Oh no no no now we can’t have that. So maybe it would be easier to just sit in a room with baren walls, closed windows, and concrete floors where no one can get in. A room that was never there until she came along. A room she built with her own two hands, piece by piece, bit by bit, until she put the last nail in the last window, making it impossible to get in, but not impossible to get out. She could just leave. She could kick down the door. She could unnail the boards. She could be free. She could escape. She could finally burn down this House of Hate. But out there, there are people, there are people with expectations that want things done the same people who are forcing her to be number one. But she doesn’t want to be number one all the time. She just wants to have fun, to be free, to have a say in how her life is layed out because you think it’s a neat straight line but she would prefer it to be a scribble all over the page. She just wants to have a say. But no one will listen to her voice, it is overpowered by too many people saying no, too many people saying this is what you do. But her voice is never heard, so why keep wasting her breath? Her room is never found, and no knocking ever comes. No one ever starts banging on the door. No one screams at her to let them in. No one comes to save her. And she’s gotten used to life being this way. So instead of wasting her tears, on “friends” who don’t seem to care, she just sits in this room staring at the wall hoping wishing praying that there was none of her at all.
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