I tuned into my FM this morning
& heard a strange transmission,
some background noise.
I recognized the code
from my army days,
it was written in dots & dashes,
a series of instructions
for those who have
already arrived.

Jeanie, the mystery-girl
who sits in the desk next to me
jotted something down in her journal
then bolted to the door for lunch,
she was out quick like lightning
& hasn't returned.
Strange, nobody's
come back yet.

Right now,
there's an eerie silence
in the workplace,
explosions
out in the street.

You asked me why I love you
And here’s a couple of reasons why:

You hold me like you can feel the
World, twirling on its axis
And if you let go we will both start spinning in an unending dance
And as we drift and glide among the stars we will slip and slid in the affections of the heart.
So instead you hold me
And I hold you, as if I never want to let you go, because while the stars are breathtaking, they lack the warmth of home. And while the dance is dizzying it’s hard to breathe without you.

Your eyes.
I could go on for days about your eyes. They entice me in their depths. The way the sunlight hits them in a wave of golden sparkles and then, you smile and I feel like i have a sunset for blood and a stardust heart. The way they light up as you behold the world.
The way your pupils dialate when they behold me. As if I am a star bright enough to burn away the world until it is just a breath, and a blur of color between our heart beats.

Your voice.
The way it rises and falls with the crisendo of your emotions. The way your breathing breaks up the beat of a steady sentence. The way it caresses my name like the breeze caresses a lilac blossom on a spring morn. The way it lulls me into a dreamy trance from which I have no desire to escape.

Your heart.
The way it’s song shifts, and tempo picks up, just a bit as I run my fingers over the smooth surface of your skin. The comforting rhythm beneath my ear as we match breathing before falling into dreams grasp. The way your heart strings tug and tangle when you fall in front of someone in need. How it pangs for those who have more misfortune then you. The way it’s song floats around me like wishes on the wind and tangled with my own until my own beat seems infinitely more beautiful and alien at the same time.

I have this irrational fear
That you will leave me
To chase after a brighter star.
And I don’t know how to react
But I do know, that if you did..
        I would let you.
And every night I would look up at the moon and we would agree
that you and the sun are alike.
Both so pretty and both just out of reach. And I would find solace amoung the moonbeams as I watch you spin dazzlingly amoung the sun as you dance between the stars.

schizophrenia is back.

I talk to the creature sat at the end of my bed,
He takes his hands and places them on my head,
I cry into his palms,
He is humble,
He is kind,
The only vision that has been in the whole of my life.

I tell him my troubles,
My worries,
My pain,
He whispers and tells me to keep being sane.

I tell him I lost my mind a long time ago,
He says
"Oh my dear, no.  You are the one who's sane amoung a world that is crazy. Take this your gift and let your life flow."

He tucks me into bed,
Wipes my eyes,
Tells me to never believe anyone's lies,
He leaves me now,
Walks away,
I close my eyes,
And drift away.

After a lifetime of "my gift" giving me grief,
Pain, despair, and broken belief,
The creature he showed me,
That not all is bad,
There is hope still,
maybe I'm really not mad.

Do you remember the summer,
when that Brown dusty path
lead into that forgotten wood?
Where the Green seemed so alive
it threatened to swallow you whole?
Where the Red of the flowers seemed so real
the entire day

felt like a dream?

Do you remember the flower
standing watch at the edge of the trees?
It stood in Violet defiance of all around
and you understood, and were humble.

Do you remember the sky,
that for the first time in so long
reminded you that it was Blue?
When the sun shined down
so White and pure you thought
it might just wash you away.

Do you remember the leaf,
hidden in the shadow of the canopy?
That reminded you of how even here
death's Black hand remains but
even it can have a peace about it.

Do you remember the sunflower
that just woke up to greet the world?
As it stretched its Yellow
as far as it dared
just so it could speak to you.

Do you remember the dragonfly,
that flew like everything was up to him?
The way he zipped to and fro
and then fro an to.
So quick you saw only Orange
as he blurred himself to your eyes.

Do you remember the cool
as you laid down to nap in the grass?
The Pink on your toes seemed to fit
so well amoung the wildflowers.
Where you slept for only moments
but felt refreshed like never before.

Do you remember the summer,
when that Brown dusty path
lead into that forgotten wood?
Where the Green seemed so alive
it threatened to swallow you whole?
Where the Red of the flowers seemed so real
the entire day

felt like a dream?

What Light speaketh,
Unto the Darkness?
Whom is more forceful?
Which is more tyrannous?

Must you succumb to Light?
Or fear the Darkness?
Or both?
Must you Succumb to Light?
In order to overcome Darkness?
And if thou dost not fear Darkness?
When why should thee succumb to Light?

Light doth not symbolize good.
Light is as violent as Darkness.
For both are to be feared.

Light to be feared because of its' fickleness.
And Darkness to be feared of its' unknowing.

Pick up thine poison.
Acquire light, and thou art doomed.
Venture into darkness,
And thou art doomed.

Tis true, that the creatures,
Lurk in the shadows.
But the Light dost not,
Have them vanish.
Creatures are not banish'd,
From the Light.
But Darkness makes them unseen.

Spark thine torches,
Look among the creatures.
Yet a torch is Light,
And Light is a fickle being.

Light is easily lost,
Only to find yourself,
Once again set in Darkness.
Darkness... where the creatures roam.
Light... where the creatures are known.

Light doth not make Darkness timid.
But Light shakes below the hand of Darkness.
Light is fragile, yet darkness in itself.
For without Light, You obtain darkness.

Once again, spark thine torch.
Look beyond where the Light canst grasp.
What dost flood thine vision?
Darkness.

Permanent, Light is not.
But Darkness...
O... Darkness...
Thou art eternal.
Overwhelming and omniscient.
The world hath been created amoung Darkness.
Therefore, humanity doomed by its' creator,
To remain in Darkness for its' existence.
And Light never to prevail.

Maybe
It was the way
Your neon eyes
Lit up in mine
And the world
Glowed a
Kaleidoscope of
Rainbow colours

Maybe
It was being
Wrapped in your
Bronze arms
And feeling so
Very safe
So warm
Next to you

Maybe
It was grey tears
Comforted by your
Soothing voice
That cheers me on
Rubbing out the dull
Rendering me
Sunshine yellow

Maybe
It was being
Called beautiful
Because I was like
Poetry and sunsets
Great towering mountains
Pretty just
Didn't do justice

Maybe
It was our
Midnight phone calls
And feeling like
I could scrape the
Deep blue canvas sky
And twirl amoung
The blinking stars

Maybe
It was all of it
Mixed like
Paint on an
Artists palette
Pinks, reds, oranges,
Spelling out a lone word
Love.

the wind can carry leaves away
can it carry me away too... can i just float away with the leaves?
would any body miss me that much?
would they come look for me?
would they think to look amoung the leaves dancing in the wind?
or would they be to beautiful that my family and friends would just pass by and look for me else where?
like in the yeard waste basket were the leaves are moldy and ugly
would i ever be found if i blew away with the strong wind amoung the beautiful leaves?
would i ever be found?
would they look for me?

Winds of high speed
Lift me to the sky
Vision's a blur.
My words slur
Amidst the whirl of dust.
Dirt coats my throat
i think i just saw a boat
And amoung all this madness
All this chaos
All i can think of is you
Its your birthday in two days
I ordered you flowers
And a nice little birthday card lies on my table.
And here i am about to die
i should be praying
i should be crying
But i guess i'll take
Your memory to my grave.
Its too bad
This tornado
Is going to litterally
Rip me
From you

They say we have two halves of a whole brain.
Two sections that govern our actions
Like tyrants that ride horses with reigns made
Of nerves and weald weapons that shoot out sparks
Of neurons across our synapses
The lands of our minds that dips and rises like the Andes mountains
Amoung cerebellum fields
Where nervous horses hoofs trample
Nervous systems flowers and bend their stem
Into an L shaped pendulum that swings
Unevenly over corpus callosum oceans
That separate left and right.
Art and reason.
Two separate sets of war torn warriors fighting,
One with methodically measured maps
Marked with red flags between concurred lands of logic
And one with holistic metal armor that clinks and clanks
Around soldiers making music for them to march to
They fight over proper ways of reason
And creative formulations
Of treasons that ought not be crossed
Their trenches the rivens in our brains
That wet rot their feet with slimy blood and
Membrane juices
The left speaking in tongues
That right cannot hear when not
Set on staff lines
Or painted onto animal skin canvas
That once covered similar brain battles
Between right and left
Only to be cut and sectioned off
In improper fractions that yearn to be whole.
If only the sides would sign treaties of peace
With pens that pinch fibers together and bind
Halves into wholes.

I have walked a alonely path
feeling in the darkness
tripping and falling
and still I press on..

Searching for you
I fear not this night
I know in my heart
I will find you
when the time is right...

I hear the wolves howling
I sense the owl amoung the trees
I stop and twirl around me
and I fall unto my knees....

I reach up in the darkness
my fingers stretched up high
I pray that you come find me
For you are the holder of the sky...

You reach your fingers down to me
like sunbeams through the trees
warming my heart from within
I gratefully breath in life again....

I beg you not to leave me
to take your precious light
You tell me to follow you
and your guidance through the night...

I follow without hesitence
and you lead me to a clearing
I look ahead across the distance
and see a being gleaming...

You tell me not to fear him
he is a gift from you
to comfort and protect me
And, I will complete him too...

He walks towards me
as if he walked out of a dream
and, he looks upon me
as if I have done the same...

We hold each other
and the sunbeams brighten
For the "One" has granted us the gift
Of a soulmate to share this life.....

Sleepy Green Eyes, rest your head,
Slip softly into dream,
Walk amoung the painted clouds,
See their golden gleam...

Sleepy Green Eyes, night has come,
Laisser votre jour va,
Your lover and the silver moon
Guard you from afar...

Sleepy Green Eyes, drift away,
Dance, or swim, or soar,
A melody, a drug, a dream,
Une berceuse pour vous mon coeur

Contemplate your ******
before bearing it to all the world
who do you think you are, showing yourself to any who deem it worthy to glance at?
Practice the modesty you preach, and cover the stark nature of your character.
Prudence is wise, and it is amoung common thought that those who steal the interior of your heart may want nothing more than manipulation of what they see with the wrong head.

Have you ever Felt so afraid,
That you can't ever stand being alone?
Have you ever felt so abandoned that the circumstances in your life didn't matter cause you would be depressed whether they were good or bad?
Have you ever been so used to feeling alone that you would choose to be by yourself besides hanging out with your friends.
You'd rather sink into the floor then walk amoung the halls of your own home.
Have you ever been so bullied so much that the words almost just become numb to you and you can barley feel the stab at your soul anymore because of it.... Intact  to you peoples hurtful words are a distraction from everything else going on in the world that's so painful.
Have you ever felt so stuck to the point where you turn to drugs orlook to the end of your drink to try and find the answer to all your questions?
Feeling so disconnected from everyone cause of all your past mistakes....
It's nothing new for you.
Then the people around you treat you like an object that needs to be fixed... Like they know exactly what you need only causing you to fall deeper and deeper into depression like there's no way out.
Feeling like your just a project....
Or that one friend that no body wants around cause you always need somebody to just vent to, never getting a chance.
People call you attention starved but it's only cause your always alone...
I know how that feels.
Your not a project.
Your not stuck you can move forward.
Your not attention starved... Anybody would do the same if they had to go through what you did.
You are you and that's perfection

They meet in a
Web of prayer flags
Near a stupa
A younger woman
Nebo
And a senior Lama monk
Gently
Passionately
And tenderly kiss
And embrace.
Their love forbidden
Hidden
Behind the prayer flags.

Dedicated to the current constructive political debate in the US

Why spyder phantoms
Does your film so choke me
On this cloudless night?

Is it the dust in my throat?
The longing in my head?
Or that door slowly closing behind her?

When the owls fly
The fantastic colors flow behind them.
Vermillions, arsenics, iridescent chromatics billowing
I tremble to follow
An anemic echo of their wings

All my green algaed
Freudian slips sprouting in a hundred greasy
Toilet bowls of the soul
Grow and nurture my endless
Turmoil of rotting emotions
And again comes the
Whirlwind


It speaks with the voices of dead cows
Rotting in the summer heat
Under the flat skies
Saying:

"Return to me my Anger!
Have I not hollowed the ****** hills
And trampled the fanatic iron snakes of doom?
Return again to me my anger!!

Sapphire mother
I welcome your longings
Your burdens
Your low moan at the sunrise
But there are none amoung us
Who love or trust you
You soft blue monster.
Selah

Tick tick tick.
Hear it?
The clock... ticking.
Ticking like a time bomb about to go off.
Your heartbeat is also like the ticking.
Bumo bump bump.
Let the beat take your heart to another melody.
Spin to the beat.
Spin faster, faster, FASTER!
Spin your mind into another demention.
Let your mind wander.
Your mind control is working.
Controlling my body with your hands.
Like a puppet amoung the strings.
Your flaws are my view of perfection.
My flaws are my only destruction.
The eyes are the windows to the soul.
I see my heart beating out of my chest.
Can you hear it?
Bump bump bump.
Can you smell the fear?
I can feel your eyes on me.
They are piercing my skin like needles.
I try to speak, but my throat is dry.
My heart is racing fast, faster, faster!
I see your face in my dreams.
Your eyes of pure sky blue.
They see into my soul, taking me under control.
My body goes cold.
I can hear nothing but my heartbeat in my ears.
Then you speak, little words.
In that tone of voice that freezes my heart and makes time stop.
My body goes cold, and I freeze in place.
I wait for you to approach me.
I wait, and wait... and wait.
Finally it hits me.
I've gone crazy...
I've started seeing things...
Those night terrors again.
I awake, dripping in sweat and panting.
I say to myself, "Those **** night terrors again."
Then I hear the voice again...
"You're not alone, you're just as heartless as I."

People will try to brain wash you
  They pelt their ideas,
    Throw their beliefs in every direction
      Hoping that one of their bullets will stick.
    People want you on their team.
  Any idea or belief opposing theirs?
Well that’s downright disgusting.

  Convert to this side,
    Sway to that
      Sometimes it’s fiction
    People forget about the fact.
  What happened to individuality?
The choice of right or wrong?
  It’s beginning to be so hard to see
    Where one fits amoung the throng.
      You begin to shift your own ideals
    You begin to change your side
  Simply to blend in with the crowd
It’s just another way to hide.
  You hide behind that thick façade
    Always worn for show
      You’re melting inside little by little.
    You’ll be nothing before you know.

Lovers are so lost, stupid within their silliness.
All these children,
Boys, girls, the lost and desperate, they come searching for my heart.
But the once thing they don't realize?
I was born with a revolver.

The reach into my chest,
Gently pull it forth,
Unaware of all the stings they pull along the way.
They click and unclick, switch, twist,
Unaware of the restlessness,
The poison kiss,
Hidden amoung my metals.

They think I'm simple,
Quiet,
Kind.
They see a mask, forever blind.

Are you gonna be fine
When you wake up with your pains
Headaches, and respiratory failure
To put you on your knees again....

Now that you cough and wheeze
Tremors and shakes within
The subtle smokers cough mixed
With massive amounts of flem.....

Get up to a cup of coffee
Sugar runs through your veins
A sudden burst of caffeine
To shoot you to the moon again.....

Walking around with your pant sag
Your hip line at your knees
With rips and tears in your shirt
Does the wind wisk to your skin?

Lay out in the grass
To seen the sunshiny day
Clouds form amoung the horizon
Images you'll never see again.........

Maybe it's in your rib cage
The skin shrinks to your bone
Any food that you consume
Merely meets the toilet bowl......

What do you do when your down
What do you do when your out of control
Take a couple of sips of ***** and tonics
To put you back on your throne......

Tyler your pain is heavy
Tyler Your life ******* up again......
Take in and count your blessings
There's plenty around to be found
Look up to the sky and find that
Everything is safe and sound!

Maybe your just a fickle man
Maybe your just a little blu
Take a sip of the genentonic
To swipe away all your blues

Well Tyler your just telltale
Tyler your only one in a few
Your smiles brighter than the shining sun
So take all you can and run

Tyler you say your lonely
Lovers are always to be found
Don't reach out to the ones who are shallow
Remember they will always put you down....

Maybe it's in your future
Maybe it's in your past
Well Tyler all it ever takes is trying
To become something that never was...

Tyler you've come from nothing
Tyler your tale has been told
Well Tyler don't you never forget
Your a good bright big soul....

Wake up and count your blessings
Tell me it must be true
Your getting better as the day goes on now
So be cautious when I say to you....

Tyler your only beginning
Time is what you knew
Waiting everyday for your loved one
Hoping that she'll come for you.....

Your waiting for something to happen
Helplessly to unfold
The sound that I assert with confidence
I hope that it reaches you....

Tyler your only a friend
This I am telling you
And if you want a hand to hold
I will always hold it for you.

Your never gonna find your winner
Wailing around in your pain
You must get out and go and find her
Lift her from your love you'll do

Now you continue waiting
Tyler your one to be found
Another shining star to shout
"I'll never fall to the ground"

Hover in space you do there
Shining the light to see the way
Welcome all those girls and boys
Who broke your heart into two...

Tyler it's not in the sense
It's not in the way you say
It's not when your optimism
Is grounded by your negativity!

Tyler you keep forgetting
Everthing will be okay
Now focus on the importance
Of your fading health
Just let your friends know you'll be okay..

Tyler we all love you
Tyler just stay the same
Tyler well push you
Up on your feet again!

Back to the point I was making
Your still to young to go
Try not to feel the displeasure  
Just know I'll be here when you go

I know that your life has been hard
I know that it's up to you
To keep on pushing as the days go on
Just know I'm always there for you......

I have alot of opinions, this particular one I am about to share with you today is a seemingly less popular idea amoung the masses.
Let's take it back to right after the first world war- soldiers coming back from battle were ailed physically, but what drove many of them sadly to the points of insanity and suicide were the things they had witnesses on the battlefield. Scenes of people infected with festering diseases that eventually took their lives, some with arms and legs completely taken off- still walking around in the shock of it all, and most of all- the death, the brains and blood and insides of what used to be living breathing people now splayed out across the landscape or piling up in the trenches. The mere thought of it is absolutely horrific.
Today, we can turn on our various screens and witness the horror in high definition, excruciating detail. Human being desimating human beings. Killing each other for fun, taking another life for fun.
I know I am mostly alone on this, every single man enjoys his brutally violent video games, gore movies and zombie thrillers are the biggest thing right now.
Personally, I feel its disgraceful. A total disrespect for the dead and human dignity. Think of your grandparents, your parents, all of your friends and family. Would you be so excited to see them fall victim in the zombie apocolapse? Already dead, reanimated, rotting corpses of your loved ones attempting to take your life. Would you be so thrilled to have them pinned at gunpoint, because to the shooter- its a game?
This numbed human experience is insane.
I don't believe in it, and I refuse to live by it.
Yes, I have been exposed to blood, guts, gore & war
But I certainly don't absorb it for fun, or as a silly past time.
These are peoples lives.

Curious.? Of What?, You may ask. While nothing more than a glimmer of a soul lost myself. Peering from the inner folds of doubt, to transform into a force  be it mystic or holy. A desire to be one amoung Gods is What I seek. Comforted in the glow and aura of blindly allowing Man a mere mortal creation, To Destroy. To Ravage. To Devour. All...............................!

I can hear the shadow come
living amoung our tainted hearts
it will sink into your mind
attracted to all of these damaged parts

when you see this simple start
to a tragic end that's yet to come
you must fight with all your might
you time has yet to come

when you stare into the empty mist
can you see yourself in the headlight?
it pulls you into it so you are lost
you are lost

why oh why can't you recognize
when your heart is not your own
it gets so hard to realize
when it seeps into your bones

I think I've lost my tragic end
I see a light now but it's warm and bright
this ancient recipe for pain and gain
will only see you through for a small part

The rest is up to you
when you start to see
It kills you from the bottom up
It can't be hard to see
sitting there right in front of you
can't be hard to see


why oh why can't you recognize
when your heart is not your own
it gets so hard to realize
when it seeps into your bones

I know I see you sitting there
but you are not alone
your mind is filled with such despair
you are not alone

I cry- and you hear
and you tell me it's an act
am I an actress
in a movie?
Should I know these lines?

Sweet little baby all safe and sound
Soon will the whispers start to surround.

Calm little children, huddled in a bunch
Will begin to hear a crunch, crunch, crunch.

Lovestruck teenagers, caressing with soft hands
Never meeting up to the devilish demands.

One lonely soldier, striking with great force
Never thinking twice, never feeling remorce.

Two vibrant lovers, on their wedding day
One a penny, two a penny, slay, slay, slay.

One child, two child, three child, four
Crazy happens often when evil is at your door.

Kindergarten, highschool, college all the same
Once their kids are old enough they'll be out of their way.

Grandkids, grandkids, running through the door
Courage starts amoung the weak, young hearts take hold the sword.

Now a quiet graying man, sitting all alone
Saddness seeping through his eyes, his face still hard as bone.

Wife has recently passed, the funeral is today
Death has been a longing part, a dreadful part we ALL must play.

Evil was lurking, through all of their past
But never did he give up hope, the only thing that lasts.

"Keep your head up, darling." Words hed always say.
She would giggle but still turn to look away.

Tears would flash through her eyes, he forever knew the truth
Years were in fact gaining up on her, she was losing hold of her youth.

He knew her time was coming, he knew the hurt and pain
She was slowly dieing, going full insane.

Arriving in town , a bit lost and confused
But charmed I am , by a young begger girl
eyes dark as night
but twinkle like star light
she points me to my train
cheak to cheak sweat pouring down
I feel the relief of this firm platform

Lieing back I feel great storm in my head
And acheing screams from the forgotten land of my back
As healths lost land has been taken
I can only sit while this war rages ahead

But as every raindrop finds its ocean
And every storm passes by
A new rainbow lights up the sky
And all health regains wealth
And settles in self

Seeing the silent blessings of our great guru Dev
Falling softly amoung us
And glistening in the eyes of all my friends
Disarming the guards of my most cautious heart
That paves the way to a new open start

Finding myself humbled  
As great plans , Of great acomplishments
Roar in the hearts of many
I find myself disarmed and empty handed
As i can only offer my heart
But a heart set in his Guru
Will find ways to be fulfilled
So bring on the new
As we shall all be fulfilled

As a cool wind from the cemetary im found dead in thought
Yet alive in jaded soul.
Breaking towards reflection of the place i never belonged at all.

Amoung the corpse of a past regret so many thoughts.
In endless hours of worry  it seems so easy to forget.
In this place rest is never final.

As I recall her scars the candle hid her intentions in shadow.
Wine as life flows untill the bitter end.
Notes to a suicide  poems of  angst known only to it's
misery laced author.

We cast clouds in sun lit skies.
Some pains bring happiness to thoose who cant see
past the self absorbed  dellusion we call memory.

The oceans  rythm a bottle kisses the thought.
It's alone my thoughts understand my ****** up reason.
Adictions of fear junkies of need.
Ive found my place in a empty corner by the fires light.
You cant lose your grip  when you never had hold.

Frayed are the edges of this worn book.
Devils in thought always know ladies who yern to
taste the wicked  madness without regret.

That tortured soul the depth that isnt there.
Blind from the excess even old vices seem more like
tired acts for others amusment.

It's in these hours i see the damge and beautiful flaws
of age.
Contact is hollow when the vessel is empty as I.
The monster ive become  clings to the reflection of thought.


As the rose dies for the memory of a bitter past.
Gone are the reasons.
A final drink to the lights that to often fade.

How do you write love?
LOVE
id say like that.
or perhaps its when a little brother grows older
and he still lets you call him little brother
as he stands, stature climbing over yours

or perhaps its in a little sisters
toothless grin,or dimpled chin
and silly giggles and sleepy eyes

of perhaps in a lovers promise
always and forever
kissing, hugging, snuggling
perhaps

maybe in a mothers arms
in her will, in her charm
found amoung her asperations
in place of a new found fasination
a babies cry
or maybe writing love, says it all
L-O-V-E
or maybe thats how you write love
mybe just letters with emplied meaning, or all the above

Rain sprinkled lightly over the spekaled lawn,
Moping the snow from the ince fronzen lake,
Swimming the stars in the air blue breeze,
Whilst lying asunder for music to chant the birds awake.
Silly small talk echoes through the quaking stream,
Yet silent as night through the dusty panes,
Sliding through grass stained red of blood,
Sweeping over trees of life and dark.
A moments rest to follow the whispers of dreams,
They ascend higher through the life of clouds,
Whispering to the open waters of fishes amoung many,
And still it calms to peace when sun filters through.

Red locks do my gray heart keep
Amoung the  spider webs.
The toads shall croak and the frogs may leap
alone in the Garden of Eden.
I linger at the door with my
Locks and chains, rattling them as I
Stare.
At the purple sky and singing buds.
I lost my heartbeat there.

Developing a nicotine addiction
over the silk ambiguity
of a pleasure twitch.
Covering up those cyanide dreams,
stapled at the seams,
with obvious white Pickett fences
& regurgitation.


Her desires rattle
in a spilt tongue oscillation.
Contradicting,
foreign mumbles
spill out like crimson
viscosities;
my mind was a
pig slop maelstrom
amoung those
ancient seconds

Those words will clatter
together like a phantom
in my plasmatic ear
waxes
until
Peacetime:

"I love you."

No hesitation.
Solidified.

****** like an
Indiana Jones
classic.

Intoxicated remakes of that
time we started something:
An archive for death memories,
recollected long after
your exodus.

Asphyxiated.

B: Broken among the mess that is love
E: eternally Gratefull for thw hell that you put me through
A: awake amoung the sleeping wolves
U: united as on person are many
T: tied the knot that is death
I: ignight the flames of romance
F: fire burning in my eyes
U: Understanding nothing
L: lies

Sos
Shining
On
Smiles
Sos

I am sinking, yet I don't have a ship to sink
I'm drowning, yet I do not have lungs to breath
I'm alone, yet I know I am loved
I love, yet I feel so numb
I'm mute, yet I can't stop talking
I'm talking, yet I have no voice
I have no voice, yet still you hear
I don't deserve you, yet you won't leave
You won't leave, yet I still fear.
Why is it like this?
I love you. And I know you love me..
So why can't we bask in peaceful simplicity?
Why must it be muddled with muck?
Why do I feel so stuck?
I should be happy.
I should be proud.
Yet I'm sitting here,
And this silence is way to loud.
"Crawling in the dark for you
Do you Burn amoung stars for me?"


Sos
Screaming
On
Silent
Sos

To be remembered
To have a legacy
Through the ages

For this goal
Many men greater than I
Have devoted themselves

The great pharoahs
Built temples and pyramids
That stood the test of time

But who can remember their names?
And who amoung those
Could recall their personality?

Does anyone know
Who they really were in life?
What they loved and what they feared?

If the pharohs themselves
Failed to be truely remembered
What hope do I have

Me, I will be content
Loving and being loved
Until I return

To wherever my true home may be

Burning Sensations
dose me in lighter fluid
and let my flesh be eaten away by the tormenting throbs of burns
burning
the sensation of disintegrating
the senestation of every atom being torched
let me live amoung my ashes
let me be consumed in heat

oh let me kiss you
spoiled me sincerely in your perfectness let me be
inbetween your inhale and exhale
to taste that sweetly on my tongue
and ever on for you i love

LOVE YOU TOO
and every time you say i love you too
my soul shatters into a million pieces of vulnerablity
exposing the throbbing palpatations of my heart