Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Meghan Marie May 2011
Do not underestimate me.

Do not make the mistake of thinking I don't know pain.
True, I've never taken a bullet,
or been blown up.
I have laid limply on a couch,
unable to defend myself,
as a stranger took advantage of too many tequila shots.
I have been forced to keep my cries silent,
unable to scream out,
as a stranger threatened me to keep my mouth shut.
I have crawled to the aid of a friend,
just to see the look of horror on her face,
as I disclosed what had been done to me.
I have gone out of my way only to shiver naked
on a hospital examination bed,
as a stranger prodded and asked me to describe my pain.
I have experienced pain
that can not be explained by a scale from 1 to 10,
that can not be hidden by bandages or healed by physicians,
that can not ever be forgotten.
I experience pain every time you go down on me,
every time you remind me,
every time I look at my naked body in a mirror.
I live every day with reminders of my pain.

Do not underestimate me.

Do not make the mistake of thinking I don't know fear.
True, I've never had to worry daily
if I would survive to see my homeland again.
I have walked faster as strangers pulled there cars over,
offering me cash to let them 'put it in my ***.'
I have been cornered on buses and in clubs
my men trying to 'show me how to have a good time.'
I have been yelled at by men on the street,
saying they'd hunt me down and **** me for ignoring their advances.
I have been afraid to slow down,
I have been afraid to speak,
and I have been afraid for my life.
Walking alone down University, I have known fear.

Do not underestimate me.

Do not make the mistake of thinking I don't know loss.
True, I have never held another
in my arms as he lay dying.
I have made the most difficult choice, to let live or have die.
I have sat in a waiting room, terrified of what awaits.
I have spent days drugged up, but still in pain.
I have watched as I passed blood clots bigger than my fist.
And though I wouldn't go back and change my choice,
every time I see a child at play,
I live constantly with the loss of my baby girl or boy.

Do not underestimate me.

Do not make the mistake of thinking I don't know strength.
True, I have never come close to dying of dehydration,
and I have never pulled the trigger on another human being.
I have been told I am betraying my family,
by standing up for what I know is right.
I have, at sixteen, had the realization
that the person I should hold in highest esteem,
is more immature, dramatic, and irrational than me.
I have had to live with the acceptance
that part of my family will never forgive me,
will never re-accept me, and will never be the same.

Do not underestimate me.

Do not make the mistake of thinking I don't know love.
True, I have never gone for months and months,
celibate and without the one I love.
I do live daily with the fear that you will leave me for the one who left you;
that you will redeploy and never come home;
that there is a part of you I will never understand.
I live daily knowing there are things that have changed you,
that you can never tell me and you can never forget.
I live daily knowing there are a million things
that could tear you away from me, me away from you,
and every sing day I decide loving you now is worth every fear.
It may not seem like much to you,
but I love you with every ounce of myself that I have.

Do not underestimate me.
Meghan Marie May 2011
My heart is breaking.
You just turn and walk away.
In truth, I'm afraid of what you would say.
I tell you I don't want to talk about it.
You ask me what's wrong, why I'm upset.
I fail to hide the look on my face.
You tell me you're going to her place.
I almost reached over to grasp your hand.
But it doesn't matter, you'll never quite understand.
I try explaining you make me feel inadequate.
You notice I look sad; maybe frustrated.
Meghan Marie May 2011
I don't know
whether to scream
or to cry.

my rationality.

Am I crazy
to wonder
if you'll do me wrong?

Am I crazy
to doubt
if I'm doing you right?

How do I know
if anything I'm saying to you
is getting through?

You react
by saying I am

Your reaction
does nothing to quell
my fears.

"History repeats itself,"
they whisper
in my ear.

"People don't change,"
inside my brain.

I am
Meghan Marie Apr 2011
It's unwise,
My eyes
Reveal that which I should try
To disguise.

Not easily upset
Before we met,
Now every woman has become
A potential threat.

I refuse to share
My breath, my air,
It may be selfish, but honestly
I don't care.

The bottom line,
It's sublime
To feel your heated body
In rhythm with mine.

I'll never be untrue,
No one else would do,
Tell me you'll always feel the same;
I'm in love with you.

Ten lines
Your accomplishments,
You shine.

One lazy line
Is all that's mine,
Will that be enough to
keep you mine?
Meghan Marie Apr 2011
I want you
more than Plankton
wants the Krabby Patty secret formula.
I need you
more than Wile E. Coyote
needs functional ACME products.
I love you
more than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles love pizza,
more than Winnie the Pooh loves honey,
more than ******-Doo loves ****** Snacks.
Meghan Marie Apr 2011
I watch too close, I see you stumble,
I wish there were something I could do.
You focus so much on helping everyone else,
I'm just wondering who's going to save you?

When tears flow down my face,
Your words wash them away.
I want to fix these hard times, and I try,
But I fear I make it worse with every word I say.

I wonder if I'm too self-centered to see,
should I try to cheer you up or just let you be?
even this poem that should be about you
Ended up filled with my insecurities.

You save the world,
You save myself from me,
You're superman,
I'm worse than nobody.
Next page