What would you do if asked me why I was sad,
and I answered
"Because I am a woman."

Hundreds of "I love you"s later
I still feel
Just as alone
As day one.

The world twists beneath my feet
And to hell again,
Oh how I miss the sun.

The sky breaks and sun graces my skin
And to earth again,
Oh how the sun burns.

I have found,
Thats this world is no longer for me,
But I love the world too much
To let go.

I sewed myself a paradise today.
If only there was someone,
somewhere,
to take to it with me.

We clash like titans,
smashing vases and cracking drywall,
my fingers rake down your back and I scream
at the top of my lungs
with every molecule of my soul
but no one, not even you hears it.

We fade to static,
twin lies drifting in the ocean,
you are an angel fish and I'm an ocean star,
we were never meant to touch
but formed our perfect harmony.

I know,
all the things about you,
that you could never dare to think,
and you only touch the surface of me,
buried in your own lies,
and thinking this is love.

We sit and burn,
calmly
not speaking a single word;
and our candle is gone.


We are the calming smoke after your last cigarette for the night.
Darling, we have died.

I am in a constant state of discomfort.
I can't sleep,
Or be awake.
I can't go to school.
I can't be home.
I'm in pain.
And when I'm not,
It just makes the pain worse when it comes back.
I can't breathe.
I can't meet my friend's eyes.
I can't be alone,
But I can't see why friends.
I can't meet my parent's eyes.
I can't talk to anyone,
But I need to talk.
I can't work.
I can't rest.
I can't get dressed,
I can't cry.
I might be dying.

My chest aches,
and winter bites at my teeth,
sun stinging my eyes.

I lay in the dark again,
12 am.
Deadly still,
I have drained of my color,
emotion,
empty.
It's uncomfortable,
sitting wrong in the back of my throat.

Yet,
I'm so full,
free, easily floating.

But my breath burns,
eyes itch,
toes twitch.

I'm so thirsty,
but I have nothing in me to get it.

I need to breathe,
but I can't;
with or without you.

I am addicted.
The atoms of the universe drift apart and violins cease to sound,
the everything we believe we know floating away.

My breath catches in my throat,
choking me as if it was your own hands,
it doesn't burn.

All my color, my shapes,
drifting to nothing and dissipating into my skin.
Starvation gnaws at me,
But I can't eat,
can't sit,
or sleep,
see,
think,
Dying?

But I'm only starting,
preparing to exist as ink stains my hands.

I love you?