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"alyssa" poems
i. when I was young, I was never complimented. I never felt good enough and it hurt and somewhere along the line I began complimenting everyone because I was never complimented and I never wanted anyone to hate themselves the way I did. just because I call a girl pretty does not mean I want in her pants. ii. we live in a country where a gay poet spoke at obama's second inauguration, where five openly gay senators serve, where all fifty states have had a gay elected officer in some capacity, so if I were to be gay, what's the problem with a relatively unknown sixteen year old girl from a relatively unknown town in a relatively unknown state being gay? iii. do you want me to be gay? do you want a better, more socially acceptable reason to make fun of me? is my weight not enough? iv. I was taught the term fluidity by my best friend Alyssa. she firmly believes that sexuality is a spectrum, like many other things. I have a different view on sexuality because I see it as a spectrum, not something that's set in stone. v. I like making people happy, I like completing people, I apologize a bit too frequently and I was taught how to accept people. vi. just because I call a girl pretty does not mean I like her. just because I say a dog is cute does not mean I want with the dog. just because I say a painting is pretty does not mean I am going to **** the painting. vii. aesthetic is a very important word. viii. there are three kinds of attraction, aesthetic, romantic, and ****** just because you have one does not mean you have all three. just because I like the way something looks doesn't mean I am going to have *** with it. ix. sexuality is an Identity. not a YOUdentity. x. I'm not gay, but if I were, trust me, I wouldn't go for such a whiny little *****
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Jun 12, 2014
Jun 12, 2014 at 3:30 PM UTC
to the girls who whisper "I think she might be gay."
i. when I was young, I was never complimented. I never felt good enough and it hurt and somewhere along the line I began complimenting everyone because I was never complimented and I never wanted anyone to hate themselves the way I did. just because I call a girl pretty does not mean I want in her pants. ii. we live in a country where a gay poet spoke at obama's second inauguration, where five openly gay senators serve, where all fifty states have had a gay elected officer in some capacity, so if I were to be gay, what's the problem with a relatively unknown sixteen year old girl from a relatively unknown town in a relatively unknown state being gay? iii. do you want me to be gay? do you want a better, more socially acceptable reason to make fun of me? is my weight not enough? iv. I was taught the term fluidity by my best friend Alyssa. she firmly believes that sexuality is a spectrum, like many other things. I have a different view on sexuality because I see it as a spectrum, not something that's set in stone. v. I like making people happy, I like completing people, I apologize a bit too frequently and I was taught how to accept people. vi. just because I call a girl pretty does not mean I like her. just because I say a dog is cute does not mean I want with the dog. just because I say a painting is pretty does not mean I am going to **** the painting. vii. aesthetic is a very important word. viii. there are three kinds of attraction, aesthetic, romantic, and ****** just because you have one does not mean you have all three. just because I like the way something looks doesn't mean I am going to have *** with it. ix. sexuality is an Identity. not a YOUdentity. x. I'm not gay, but if I were, trust me, I wouldn't go for such a whiny little *****
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10
Sisters and Brothers                  Irritating each other                                     Bond thats unbreakable                               Love that last forever                                     Incredibly annoying at times                        Greatly appreciated                                        Surviving everything together             ~Alyssa Nichole
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Apr 22, 2017
Apr 22, 2017 at 6:23 PM UTC
"Siblings"
when I'm high off the scents of October night air and smokey burnt wood on your shirt I'll dress up for you, all satin and buttons and lace. when I'm drunk from one too many Gin & Tonics with purple-spotted moons stamped under my eyes and the apples of my cheeks stained with paths of saltwater I'll dress down for you, all freckles and scars and skin. Copyright © 2015 Alyssa Packard All Rights Reserved
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Jun 11, 2015
Jun 11, 2015 at 10:41 PM UTC
dress-up
for Alyssa Underwood ~~~ my poems do not trend, go viral, Fast and Furious! yet, they do not die they lay in plain sight pebbles scattered, smoothed by time, upon the surface of the green earth waiting patient, virtuous, purposed for itinerants bards to trip over one one some someday somehow they accrete a readership, slow stepping and steady from, |the seekers and the stumblers, the droplet drinkers, meanderers of the tomes and tombs of prior years, miners for nuggets in the poem pools that form beneath the alluvial streaming of the waterfall crescendo of words I like this when another traveler sends me a like, a petite amuse-bouche bite of appreciation, for a long ago, barely recalled, writ, allowing them to carve their initials upon the external, visible roots of my tree trunk, invading me, by darkening a prior tree internal ring, forcing me to look down, look back, take measure of myself, accepting myself as not wanting, nor lacking in other's acceptance these statements are neither boastful or illusory, *yet still joyous, like caramel pleasures, slow to chew, fast to the taste,* reminding me of old friendships, well valued, though no longer fully employed, their uncovering is my own refreshed exposure, their discovery is my own re-discovery, exposing flaws and fallacies, even fallow, mostly shallow facts about me all of them, a sundae of truths and lies, sharing a happy laugh with and at me, when I think to myself, Holy Crap! did I write that? copyright 2015 by Nat Lipstadt
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Oct 8, 2015
Oct 8, 2015 at 3:35 PM UTC
2015: my poems do not trend
for Alyssa Underwood ~~~ my poems do not trend, go viral, Fast and Furious! yet, they do not die they lay in plain sight pebbles scattered, smoothed by time, upon the surface of the green earth waiting patient, virtuous, purposed for itinerants bards to trip over one one some someday somehow they accrete a readership, slow stepping and steady from, |the seekers and the stumblers, the droplet drinkers, meanderers of the tomes and tombs of prior years, miners for nuggets in the poem pools that form beneath the alluvial streaming of the waterfall crescendo of words I like this when another traveler sends me a like, a petite amuse-bouche bite of appreciation, for a long ago, barely recalled, writ, allowing them to carve their initials upon the external, visible roots of my tree trunk, invading me, by darkening a prior tree internal ring, forcing me to look down, look back, take measure of myself, accepting myself as not wanting, nor lacking in other's acceptance these statements are neither boastful or illusory, *yet still joyous, like caramel pleasures, slow to chew, fast to the taste,* reminding me of old friendships, well valued, though no longer fully employed, their uncovering is my own refreshed exposure, their discovery is my own re-discovery, exposing flaws and fallacies, even fallow, mostly shallow facts about me all of them, a sundae of truths and lies, sharing a happy laugh with and at me, when I think to myself, Holy Crap! did I write that? copyright 2015 by Nat Lipstadt
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52
you've always been my favorite book never difficult to pick from the shelf and breeze through. I have read you over and over one thousand times and I find things with each and every read that I never discovered in the last. all of the genres combined within you; mystery, romance, comedy; an endless movie running through my head with you as the lead role and I couldn't imagine a life without you being written into it. Copyright ©  2015 Alyssa Packard All Rights Reserved
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Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 7:19 PM UTC
to my future soulmate
Mommy always said I had expensive taste I guess that's why your champagne skin left me drunk with the empty bottle dangling from my limp fingers. I must ask, do you think of me still? Cover your lips with honey before you answer; sugarcoat it as best you can. 43 tiring days later and I have yet to master being able to say your name under a relaxed jaw. I wonder if this will get any easier to accept; until then, cheers to those intoxicating bubbles soaking up in your bones' winter quilt. I'll leave you a glass on the table. Copyright © 2015 Alyssa Packard All Rights Reserved
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Feb 14, 2015
Feb 14, 2015 at 1:27 AM UTC
champagne taste
The Annual POCU Fashion Show held by the campus organization “People of Color United,” was held in the Student Activities Center on Saturday, April 18. The fashion show is the final activity of the year held by POCU. Junior Martell Prayear and senior Miranda Jackson were the show’s hosts and announcers. The fashion show is a competition where various designers, or teams of designers, are required to create outfits that adhere to a general theme, but also incorporate the designer’s unique, personal concepts. This year, the general theme for the fashion show was: Thrift Shop. Each designer, or group of designers, was required to utilize clothes purchased from the local Goodwill and maintain a $50 budget. Preparations for the event, Jackson said, were very short. “I was really surprised how well it turned out, because we started practicing for the show at four o’clock that day,” Jackson said. “They typically start practicing way a head of time.” Despite the delayed preparation, the fashion show was an overall success. The first designer to present at the fashion show was Victoria Webster. Webster’s fashion line was inspired by professional work attire. “I think it can be hard transitioning college wear into professional wear, on a budget,” Webster said of her outfits. Webster was able to find three models to wear the clothes, which she said was a combination of the model’s personal items, as well as those purchased through Goodwill. The second fashion line presented at the fashion show was designed by Iyana Lynch. For her personal theme, Lynch designed outfits that were inspired by the different seasons. The third designer to present that evening was Alyssa Nieset. Inspired by 90’s menswear, Nieset designed a line of androgynous outfits. The final clothing line presented was a team effort from: Jeanita Blue and Angel Powell. Their theme was considered “90’s Reloaded,” and featured various throwbacks to 1990’s pop culture such as TLC and The Spice Girls. Blue said that most of the outfits in their fashion line were inspired by “eco-friendly fashion,” and were intended to decrease hesitation toward shopping at thrift stores. While the judges finalized the scores for each designer or team, the Urban Dance Association entertained the crowd with a quick performance. The judge’s scores resulted in a tie between Jeanita Blue & Angel Powell, and Iyana Lynch. Despite the general tie, Blue and Powell were awarded first place, while Lynch was granted second place. There was an off-campus reception held in Cleveland after the event. Read more here:www.marieaustralia.com/purple-formal-dresses | www.marieaustralia.com/green-formal-dresses
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May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 10:36 PM UTC
POCU Fashion Show Inspires BW to “Get Thrifty”
The Annual POCU Fashion Show held by the campus organization “People of Color United,” was held in the Student Activities Center on Saturday, April 18. The fashion show is the final activity of the year held by POCU. Junior Martell Prayear and senior Miranda Jackson were the show’s hosts and announcers. The fashion show is a competition where various designers, or teams of designers, are required to create outfits that adhere to a general theme, but also incorporate the designer’s unique, personal concepts. This year, the general theme for the fashion show was: Thrift Shop. Each designer, or group of designers, was required to utilize clothes purchased from the local Goodwill and maintain a $50 budget. Preparations for the event, Jackson said, were very short. “I was really surprised how well it turned out, because we started practicing for the show at four o’clock that day,” Jackson said. “They typically start practicing way a head of time.” Despite the delayed preparation, the fashion show was an overall success. The first designer to present at the fashion show was Victoria Webster. Webster’s fashion line was inspired by professional work attire. “I think it can be hard transitioning college wear into professional wear, on a budget,” Webster said of her outfits. Webster was able to find three models to wear the clothes, which she said was a combination of the model’s personal items, as well as those purchased through Goodwill. The second fashion line presented at the fashion show was designed by Iyana Lynch. For her personal theme, Lynch designed outfits that were inspired by the different seasons. The third designer to present that evening was Alyssa Nieset. Inspired by 90’s menswear, Nieset designed a line of androgynous outfits. The final clothing line presented was a team effort from: Jeanita Blue and Angel Powell. Their theme was considered “90’s Reloaded,” and featured various throwbacks to 1990’s pop culture such as TLC and The Spice Girls. Blue said that most of the outfits in their fashion line were inspired by “eco-friendly fashion,” and were intended to decrease hesitation toward shopping at thrift stores. While the judges finalized the scores for each designer or team, the Urban Dance Association entertained the crowd with a quick performance. The judge’s scores resulted in a tie between Jeanita Blue & Angel Powell, and Iyana Lynch. Despite the general tie, Blue and Powell were awarded first place, while Lynch was granted second place. There was an off-campus reception held in Cleveland after the event. Read more here:www.marieaustralia.com/purple-formal-dresses | www.marieaustralia.com/green-formal-dresses
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4
we are sisters we fight and argue but at the end of the day i love you you help me through the good and bad you stay with me when im happy or sad i love you with my heart and soul alyssa you know never to let go when your not here i cry a tear and if anyone uses your name badly i wont cry sadly ill just say to them dusty hoes go the way the wind blows go **** a **** go eat a ***** because we dont want to **** with you
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May 6, 2015
May 6, 2015 at 1:04 PM UTC
bestfriends no sisters
March was the month that she was gone, and you weren't. I was here and she wasn't. And I'm sitting next to you in class, trying to pretend that I don't know that this is wrong. But you know me better than that. We hold hands while she's missing you. We make plans because she's currently not kissing you. And I'm dreaming. And you're falling. Or maybe I'm dreaming that you're falling. Just for me. You don't know what a night I've had. My eyes vomiting tears into tissues because of your smile. March was the month that you decided that maybe I was worth a little more of your time, and I wanted to throw away every clock in the world so you couldn't keep track. We played games like little kids, we were just a never ending game of tag. Chase me, I want you to chase me this time. I keep tripping over my thoughts about you. You make me never want to get up. Let's fill the holes of what could've been with laughter excreted from lovesick lungs. If oxygen cost money, I would buy your love instead. March was the month that we both forgot the world. March was the month that I forgot I was the other girl. Now I can't help but to think about what she would do, if she knew, Just how much I wanted you. March was the month that I remembered that you were my forbidden fruit. My fifteen minutes of fame was up. March was the month I knew, that by April, March's love, would be dried up. Written by Alyssa Szczelina 4-18-15
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Apr 18, 2015
Apr 18, 2015 at 8:22 PM UTC
March.
Walkin' talking gawking the goats, giraffes, red panda no **** tiger exhibit like they promised Alyssa in the OV for a few days with her Mom and Dad My oldest Chris and Sarah. My grandaughter at our first meeting of course adorable even if a little frightened of burly bear Grandpa Cant say we bonded but we blew kisses and met Aidan, Journey and Cameryn by strange coincidence all my children present at once in our undersized home lions, yes elephants yes no tigers like they promised for opening day But bubbles lifted by the wind to great height above the entrance to pop unceremoniously to be noticed by only me and Alyssa at the zoo
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Apr 14, 2011
Apr 14, 2011 at 9:34 AM UTC
At The Zoo With Alyssa
HelloPoetry Blessed us all , no matter where we live. I am truly Blessed by each and everyone alike here. There are so many here on this here site that I am thankful for. Sally Bayan, Mike Hauser, Iamdaisie, Olivia Kent, Wendy Ronshausen,Brandon Nagley, Earl Jane, Rachel Sia Jane Lloyd, Lydia Monet,Neil Aranda, Mark Cleavenger, Ann Marie Johnson, Melanie Wilson-Herring, Mike Essig,  **** Paz Its Gonna Make Sense. PrttyBrd, Vicki Bashor, Kripi Mehra, Willyam Pax, Poetess Bhumi, Kelly Rose. Elizabeth Burnettge, Toni Pugh, Paul Champman, David Lewis Paget. Ryn, Sean Scibbles, Aurelia, Kim Johanna Baker,Yasaman Johari. Lady RF,Crazy Diamond Kristy, Weeping Willow, Alyssa Underwood. MydstopiA,adhi das, South by southwest, Petal, soulsurvivor. reformdancerecover,Ashly Kocher, Mack, Travler, Randolph Wilson. Plus many more whom are very special indeed whom did not make this poem love you all in Christ.
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Apr 19, 2017
Apr 19, 2017 at 2:03 PM UTC
HelloPoetry
Dear Alyssa, I am trying to say your name, but it is so foreign to me I cannot believe I once called it my own. It is stiff and uncomfortable, and sticky and sad. I cringe every time I hear it, it was never my home. But I will never not envy the fact that our mother handcrafted it for you while Avery was never touched by her beauty. When you think beauty, I know the only thing you think of is Montana Walker. The girl in your English class with the freckle by her smile who plays chess with you at lunch. But when your father thinks beauty, Alyssa is still his first thought. Dear Alyssa, When you were in sixth grade, you dreamt about me. I wore a pullover hoodie and a backwards hat with one arm slung around Montana's shoulders. You were afraid to touch her, but me, I wasn't intimidated by her. She was quiet and tall, I was taller and loud, my chest was open and breathed proud. You never believed you would get there, and you aren't. I am miles away from loud. I am unable to speak up for you. Even when  I was called a ****** my first day of public high school. Even when I was called a ******* ****** *** **** by a member of our own community, someone who shares so much of our journey. I didn't speak up for you or me. I'm sorry. Dear Alyssa, I'm sorry I tried to tear you open to see if I was hiding underneath. I'm sorry. I was not underneath. This is no woman's body because it belongs to me. I was not underneath. Dear Alyssa, Mom and dad are right. You are beauty. You are pretty and feminine and sweet. Alyssa, you are the prettiest boy you'll ever meet, because frankly, there is no girl I used to be. We are inherently male because we are supposed to be. **** biology. **** transphobic members of the LGBT community. **** that at 15, you've reached half a trans* person's life expectancy. **** that you will never be allowed to join the military. **** the life that they want you to lead. You are me. You are the boy I used to be. Dear Alyssa, I'm sorry. Sincerely yours P.S. I should've loved you more.
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Mar 29, 2015
Mar 29, 2015 at 12:46 AM UTC
A Letter to the Girl I Used to Be
Dear Alyssa, I am trying to say your name, but it is so foreign to me I cannot believe I once called it my own. It is stiff and uncomfortable, and sticky and sad. I cringe every time I hear it, it was never my home. But I will never not envy the fact that our mother handcrafted it for you while Avery was never touched by her beauty. When you think beauty, I know the only thing you think of is Montana Walker. The girl in your English class with the freckle by her smile who plays chess with you at lunch. But when your father thinks beauty, Alyssa is still his first thought. Dear Alyssa, When you were in sixth grade, you dreamt about me. I wore a pullover hoodie and a backwards hat with one arm slung around Montana's shoulders. You were afraid to touch her, but me, I wasn't intimidated by her. She was quiet and tall, I was taller and loud, my chest was open and breathed proud. You never believed you would get there, and you aren't. I am miles away from loud. I am unable to speak up for you. Even when  I was called a ****** my first day of public high school. Even when I was called a ******* ****** *** **** by a member of our own community, someone who shares so much of our journey. I didn't speak up for you or me. I'm sorry. Dear Alyssa, I'm sorry I tried to tear you open to see if I was hiding underneath. I'm sorry. I was not underneath. This is no woman's body because it belongs to me. I was not underneath. Dear Alyssa, Mom and dad are right. You are beauty. You are pretty and feminine and sweet. Alyssa, you are the prettiest boy you'll ever meet, because frankly, there is no girl I used to be. We are inherently male because we are supposed to be. **** biology. **** transphobic members of the LGBT community. **** that at 15, you've reached half a trans* person's life expectancy. **** that you will never be allowed to join the military. **** the life that they want you to lead. You are me. You are the boy I used to be. Dear Alyssa, I'm sorry. Sincerely yours P.S. I should've loved you more.
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Collaboration with Alyssa Underwood! *I'm not getting much from life, it makes me want to scream! Won't achieve my smallest goal... let alone my dreams!*. **Your life's hidden in Christ's hands and your competence comes from Him. His Spirit's working His purpose in you... despite how things may seem.**. *I'm frail and I'm weak, I'm sorry. I'm not strong. You say I can handle this test... You couldn't be more wrong!*. **Frailty's the best start for watching our egos flee. Once we know WE can't do it... we begin to get set free.**. *I am sick and tired of the daily drudge! And fellow believers? All they do is JUDGE!*. **So lay it all down. Jesus died to bear the indomitable weight... of every burden you wear.**. *Does God answer prayers? I wonder if HE DOES! If you go and backslide He seems to hold a grudge!*. **I find He answers differently than what I might seek first, for what's pleasant now... May not fill my deepest thirst.**. *Alright. He makes us patient. But I can believe the lies! He has no provision to make me savvy... WISE!*. **If wisdom like the world is what the soul most craves, where's the contentment... in those who are its slaves?** *The believer is the candle Jesus is the flame. Thank you sister for your help... I'm calling on His Name! I will heed your sayings. I have been absurd! He's good to all His promises... They're written in HIS WORD.*. **It's not absurd to question or probe into our doubts. HIS WORD can stand resistance... through every skeptic's shouts. We're here to help each other find truth along the way. JESUS IS THE WAY AND TRUTH AND LIFE WE LIVE EACH DAY! Alyssa Underwood  (the voice of Truth)**. SoulSurvivor  (the doubtful believer)
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Jan 5, 2016
Jan 5, 2016 at 7:59 PM UTC
Fear vs Faith
Collaboration with Alyssa Underwood! *I'm not getting much from life, it makes me want to scream! Won't achieve my smallest goal... let alone my dreams!*. **Your life's hidden in Christ's hands and your competence comes from Him. His Spirit's working His purpose in you... despite how things may seem.**. *I'm frail and I'm weak, I'm sorry. I'm not strong. You say I can handle this test... You couldn't be more wrong!*. **Frailty's the best start for watching our egos flee. Once we know WE can't do it... we begin to get set free.**. *I am sick and tired of the daily drudge! And fellow believers? All they do is JUDGE!*. **So lay it all down. Jesus died to bear the indomitable weight... of every burden you wear.**. *Does God answer prayers? I wonder if HE DOES! If you go and backslide He seems to hold a grudge!*. **I find He answers differently than what I might seek first, for what's pleasant now... May not fill my deepest thirst.**. *Alright. He makes us patient. But I can believe the lies! He has no provision to make me savvy... WISE!*. **If wisdom like the world is what the soul most craves, where's the contentment... in those who are its slaves?** *The believer is the candle Jesus is the flame. Thank you sister for your help... I'm calling on His Name! I will heed your sayings. I have been absurd! He's good to all His promises... They're written in HIS WORD.*. **It's not absurd to question or probe into our doubts. HIS WORD can stand resistance... through every skeptic's shouts. We're here to help each other find truth along the way. JESUS IS THE WAY AND TRUTH AND LIFE WE LIVE EACH DAY! Alyssa Underwood  (the voice of Truth)**. SoulSurvivor  (the doubtful believer)
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59
I always had trouble with my keyboard. Some of the letters were too tight and never moved, you had to slam them in order to get the words you wanted and even the most sincere love letter could sound like a strongly worded email to the nearest Costco because you found that same 3 pound box of popcorn at Walmart for like 50 cents cheaper. But the other keys were loose and fell out, I always put them back on but I always seemed to lose U. It was like no matter how much I put U back together U always fell on the floor. My friends all urged me to forget about it and get myself a new keyboard, they said "come on Alyssa, you know you need something that stays longer than a few weeks" but I was too scared that the price of finding something new outweighed my frustration for picking U up and just putting U back together again. Sometimes I wish U could be tough, that way I didn't have to be terrified of breaking U if I didn't feel gentle that day, in case I really was writing that strongly worded email to Costco. Because there are days when I am not soft and warm, when I feel more like the lawn mower than the soft grass underneath of it. Some days I feel like ripping out the X on my keyboard because it has not moved once since I got it and replacing it with U just so U could finally stay where I put it even if it meant I didn't use U anymore. At least I would always know U wouldn't move without my permission. But that would mean that X would be falling out of place, and God knows that I need to keep my X's where they belong. But this isn't about the X, and this wasn't about U, this was about my inability to change and my constant fear of imminent loneliness. You see I'm not so afraid of being alone, but feeling lonely scares the living hell out of me so I would rather find someone broken and patch them up, make sure they need me a lot more than I need them so I know they won't leave first, than find someone who has all of their pieces and is capable of staying intact without my help. That is the one who knows that they are so much better without me, that I am just dead weight and I am more likely to cause their death by drowning them than helping them swim to shore. But for Christmas I asked for a gift card to Best Buy so I could buy myself a new keyboard. I just hope I'm strong enough to throw U out when it gets here.
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Dec 25, 2014
Dec 25, 2014 at 11:05 PM UTC
My keyboard
I always had trouble with my keyboard. Some of the letters were too tight and never moved, you had to slam them in order to get the words you wanted and even the most sincere love letter could sound like a strongly worded email to the nearest Costco because you found that same 3 pound box of popcorn at Walmart for like 50 cents cheaper. But the other keys were loose and fell out, I always put them back on but I always seemed to lose U. It was like no matter how much I put U back together U always fell on the floor. My friends all urged me to forget about it and get myself a new keyboard, they said "come on Alyssa, you know you need something that stays longer than a few weeks" but I was too scared that the price of finding something new outweighed my frustration for picking U up and just putting U back together again. Sometimes I wish U could be tough, that way I didn't have to be terrified of breaking U if I didn't feel gentle that day, in case I really was writing that strongly worded email to Costco. Because there are days when I am not soft and warm, when I feel more like the lawn mower than the soft grass underneath of it. Some days I feel like ripping out the X on my keyboard because it has not moved once since I got it and replacing it with U just so U could finally stay where I put it even if it meant I didn't use U anymore. At least I would always know U wouldn't move without my permission. But that would mean that X would be falling out of place, and God knows that I need to keep my X's where they belong. But this isn't about the X, and this wasn't about U, this was about my inability to change and my constant fear of imminent loneliness. You see I'm not so afraid of being alone, but feeling lonely scares the living hell out of me so I would rather find someone broken and patch them up, make sure they need me a lot more than I need them so I know they won't leave first, than find someone who has all of their pieces and is capable of staying intact without my help. That is the one who knows that they are so much better without me, that I am just dead weight and I am more likely to cause their death by drowning them than helping them swim to shore. But for Christmas I asked for a gift card to Best Buy so I could buy myself a new keyboard. I just hope I'm strong enough to throw U out when it gets here.
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53
Ah DND, the wondrous world of fiction While that may be nice for you My favorite DND is do not disturb That way when I don't get a response, it doesn't hurt as much I haven't published in so long I haven't texted in so long I haven't been I haven't done Do not disturb Mute everything No one responds anyhow Or reaches out Well, of course when they need something I was about to send you a song And while I may not have self worth I know you WONT be worth my time, or anyone else's So I wrote this instead And Alyssa if you're reading this **** you. You aren't reading this You aren't doing anything you want to Other than make me hate you So it " hurts less " What a mess With no one to clean it up Who in the hell is moving our game pieces We need someone new I need someone that isn't you. P.S. This wasn't right
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Mar 24, 2020
Mar 24, 2020 at 9:24 PM UTC
DND, dragons not included
I spied a timekeeper reposed upon a wall. His burden too heavy, the edifice too tall. Tenderly I did lift his old timepiece aloft, and there inside he hid, vulnerable and soft. Patiently I waited; I didn’t want him urged. Torpidly time did move before an eye emerged. Then, as if he realized all the time put to waste, out came the other eye with a little more haste. Gently, he moved towards me as the old church bell chimed; shell lumbering above and slime trailing behind. And for me he kept some of life’s precious time, passing so pleasantly for no reason or rhyme. -Alyssa Myers
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Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 8:41 AM UTC
While on the Porch
(Written in 8th Grade) As I grew up along-side of memories, I realized that my name grew with me; shaping and morphing itself into who I am today. But wouldn’t it be fun to not be me for a single day? Not have the name, Alice? I could be someone smiling bright, maybe Melina. Or might I try on the name Jessie. Nah, too laid back and chill; so I take the name off and put it back on it’s hanger. I could be haughty and proud, with my nose in the air; I could be a Penelope. I window-shop for more names, browsing among all the different personalities. Fern seems fun, friendly and cordial. Or I might stick around and act as a Sam. Boyish? Aw yeah. Just maybe not for me. I’ll be Stella, all book-sharp for a day or I could be a Chloé, exotic and beautiful. Or switch my style into the retro girly Natalie. What would it be, to have the name Katie, just for a day? Zoey, Liana, Stacy, Diane. Isabelle, Marilyn, Delia, Hannah. Maybe give my name an exotic twist, Alyssa? After trying on names of all kind, some just weren’t for me. Too ‘krazy’? Shy? Ecstatic? Cool? Like a huge circus parade with different costumes, the loud gaudy colors blinding me. Like all the different shoes at Aldo’s; sky-high heels, wedges, sandals, boots. I slip out the shoes, I peel off the names. Because for now, I’d like to stay in my own skin; as a plain old Alice.
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May 7, 2014
May 7, 2014 at 8:41 AM UTC
The Name Alice
you stand tall facing the works of art, Monet and Renoir and Van Gogh all slowly consuming your thoughts color by color, brushstroke by brushstroke and you have the nerve to ask me to point towards my favorite masterpiece; you pessimist, you train wreck, it's always been you. Copyright © 2015 Alyssa Packard All Rights Reserved
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May 24, 2015
May 24, 2015 at 12:02 AM UTC
favorites
Alyssa moves like she’s being watched and watching me, but the white-walled room, despite her husband’s presence is empty. Everything echoes. Alyssa and I have serenaded the dead and dying weekly. Today is no exception. She performs, I just sing– are my songs really any emptier than hers? We and the dying clasp hands in a circle and mimic a psychic raising of the dead. Alyssa and I have sat through the same cut-and-dry hour-long condemnations all our lives, but she bought in and now moves like she’s being watched, at which I scoff. Alyssa is not allowed into Business Meetings because of sexist Paul, and I make this known to a friend I trust now more than Alyssa, now happily chatting with the guy I was eying. Alyssa’s father takes me aside for inquisition. I confess of my sin, but I do not repent. Alyssa found out, and now my existence is ***********
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Jul 28, 2012
Jul 28, 2012 at 2:38 AM UTC
Judas, Where Is Your Blood Money?
Your every word, Every comma, Every full stop, Every quotation, And every other punctuation- They destroy my demons. "There was never silence. Always was an endless buzzing of nonsense in my ear. But you, as I realize now, were not talking about the absence of sound. You were talking about the soul. The silence of the soul. The absence of peace. Pain. I've come to think that humans, as a race, cannot write about the subjects that bring them joy." - Alyssa Rose© Just a little excerpt From a little collection of sentences, Yet the impact knows no bounds. Every poem that you write (at least the ones I've read), They hold so much truth. As dainty as your name, Yet so much power they brew. **"People we will never meet, Faces we will never see. Unbeknownst to us, Wandering aimlessly."** -Alyssa Rose© The -words- above And the l e t t e r s- My exact thoughts last night, 8 days to December. Once I get a hold of what you convey, I find myself unable to let go; Because the meaning that I discover, Is not just what I portray. When I read your work, I feel at peace; Like all the chaos within me Has finally been eased, Because you, Alyssa- Are one of my only escapes. And as I write this piece, You don't even know That someone like ME- An average teenage girl, Takes so much inspiration From YOU❤️
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Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014 at 8:41 AM UTC
Dear Alyssa Rose
Blossom for a moment in my heart, here, although things are never certain, what will be after you bloom fragrant and beautiful. Maybe something will come off, wither, then disappear. Maybe something will be lost, vanish, and never come back. Blossom where you want to grow and people will like you, not because where people like you then you have to grow.
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Mar 28, 2021
Mar 28, 2021 at 4:02 AM UTC
Dear Alyssa
Alyssa! Oh, Alyssa How your name rolls Off the tongues and Into the hearts of men. Raven-haired beauty Beyond compare, beyond reproach How I long for your sweet embrace My love for you is like a Waterfall It overcomes all obstacles My love for you is like an Earthquake Overpowering, strong and easy to see But even easier to feel My love for you is like a Mountain Towering over all else in life How I adore your Slow pace at which You traverse the land It causes my heart To cry out in joy That I may be close To you for so long How glad I am That you are my friend Supportive, kind, beautiful Who knows how I would be If not for you? The seraphims and cherubims Ache at my love They weep at how I care For you, your smile gorgeous beyond compare Ineffable! Ineffable I say! Such a nymph cannot Truly exist! The beauty of God's earth Is all thanks to you Alyssa! Oh, Alyssa How your name rolls Off the tongue and Into this heart of mine.
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Sep 26, 2010
Sep 26, 2010 at 7:51 AM UTC
Alyssa
they say I'm a joke and I wish you would've stuck around to hear the punchline. Copyright © 2015 Alyssa Packard All Rights Reserved
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Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 7:44 PM UTC
humor me
Its crazy how quick love makes things better, My mom was so sad this morning, Because my dad had left to go to Arizona. But, just a few minutes ago my dad called. You should have seen how quick my mom got happy. Smiling, and singing, as she cleans the kitchen. Just the sound of his voice was enough to make her dance. I'm glad my parents love each other so much, Because my grandpa says that so few marriages make it anymore. My friend Alyssa's parents are divorced, And its sad going to her house. Her mom is never singing, Or dancing or smiling. But, I'm not afraid of my parents getting divorced. The look on my moms face was enough to prove That she loves my dad too much, And the nice things my dad is constantly doing for my mom, I know he loves her so much too. Just one little phone conversation meant so much. Its crazy how quick love makes things better.
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Sep 3, 2012
Sep 3, 2012 at 10:36 AM UTC
It's Crazy How Quick Love Makes Things Better