If you don’t leave my house
I’ll ******* **** you.
I’ll ******* **** you
if you don’t leave my house.
I’ll bash your skull in
with this baseball bat
if you don’t leave now.
No, you don’t live here; please leave.
Don’t make me **** you.
No, you don’t have ***.
Call the cops, Andrew.
You have until the count of ten
to leave, or else I’m going to use this
You don’t legally live here; you don’t
pay rent, nor is your name on the lease.
Quit telling me you’re ready to die.
Quit closing the door.
Get off of me! I want to **** you.
Quit screaming that I kidnapped you.
I found you here, hunched over
in my closet. Stay right there,
put your clothes on.
If you don’t stop struggling,
they’re going to **** you.
They’re going to **** you
if you don’t stop struggling.
this poem in a
u n c o n v e n t i o n a l manner.
(if said poem is self- referential)
to thought i
t o i t w h a t s o e v e r,
to be as shallow a
p o s s i b l e.
And that's why you'll like the poem.
I gave him eighteen years, thousands in gas money, and more music than he deserved, and all I got in return was a subscription to Fox News– which, by the way, is a complete ******* “thank you” gift because you can fool yourself into believing anything.
"You know what's going to happen tomorrow? Rain!" when in fact I'm certain its going to be a scorcher.
He sits bedside, making horrible jokes and bringing up remember-that-times. When will he ever pay the rent? Even though he doesn’t sleep here– he never sleeps– he should at least pay me in something other than beheading-dreams. And in the shower we review ****** flaws, and in the mirror we recount all the mean things I ever said or did to him for being such an insufferable *******.
He looks uncomfortable, not as sure of himself. He ponders what I meant for a while, opens his mouth to rebut and gets another stop it.
“Stop it. Get a job.” Because he contributes nothing.
“But you should…”
“Stop it. Get a job, because all I’m gaining from us right now is a bunch of lies. Quit watching Fox News.”
“Listen here, ******–“
“Stop it. Get a job. Quit watching Fox News.” And he leaves for a couple hours.
The knocking stops.
I remembered how the doors in my apartment are very tall,
how my belt is short,
and how I begin all my relations with goodbye
I tonicize you.
Though you are sol and I am do,
I've modified my tonal path
to add weight to your presence:
I've written you this leading tone
in hope of upward resolution
and to avoid frustration.
for you are sol and lead to do.
Let us modulate through mutual friends;
let us flaunt our perfect consonance!
Let us cadence together
when the music finally ends.
1– Most people try to avoid eye contact at all costs.
2– Most people either do not say "thank you" or mumble it as if it doesn't mean anything.
3– Most people act out of either self-interest or custom.
4– In most people, the maternal instinct is dead or at least deadened.
5– Most people don’t know how to control their child without using impact to the head or behind.
6– Children outnumber adults, and 20+ year-old children exist.
7– Most people will look for a scapegoat in even a mildly adverse situation, even if one doesn’t exist.
8– Most people have no sense of respect and are therefore not deserving of respect.
9– Most people do not recognize the humanity of others. (See Nos. 1-5, 8)
10– Most people have lost their humanity, also known as their soul.
I dread 2nd and King to this day.
I was born into a poor family:
dad the drunkard,
mom the **** addict,
and sister wrist slitter,
Mealtime portions measly.
The house's fragmented windows,
and carpet, ash stained beyond cleaning,
forced me to attempt an escape
Its a wonder we had a house at all!
I was the only one who worked.
From 10:00 until 7:00
in the dead of winter I used to stand
in clothes so thin
I was better off not even wearing them.
In '97 I was too young to work
But I wasn't too young for the men-
and I admit, some attractive-
who would pull up to
2nd and King.
I just crawled in the backseat,
assumed the position,
and took my beating
for not being born to the right family,
I can't look at that sign
marking the corner
without thinking of
crotch after crotch
until it was etched in my brain
that the male genitalia
was the epiphany of evil.
I have to turn my head.
I dread 2nd and King to this day.
Rerelease from 2010.