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calion Oct 2016
looking back, you never wanted me.
you said you wanted a good democrat to take home to mama.
you wanted a trophy.

i sped all the way to campus.
i'm sure i went over the speed limit.
you couldn't wait one more hour.

i wouldn't say yes.
we had a date, but i couldn't say yes.
you need the answer, don't you?

i have never let another see me naked.
others have taken my clothes, but you took my shield.
i trusted you with my vulnerability.

in the afterglow, i wrapped my arms around you, a hand on your chest.
you made big promises and big plans that we both know you couldn't keep.
i trusted you and told you i'd see you after work.

you said you were so tired.
i offered up a bed, but you said you needed to think.
you always need to think.

i woke up three hours early so i could stop by your room before class.
i wanted to cuddle, you told me to stop it.
i thought you were joking.

the text still lives in my phone.
i didn't want to make it official.
so you didn't want to make it work.

you never wanted me.
you just wanted a status update.
you didn't care who you dated.

you were gonna use me.
i was gonna be the girl you could show mama.
i was gonna be your prize.

it's better that it happened this way.
you are not who i thought you were.
i am not who you wanted me to be.

i'm back, whooo
  Mar 2016 calion
Emily Dickinson

I saw the wind within her
I knew it blew for me—
But she must buy my shelter
I asked Humility
calion Mar 2016
things aren't okay.
i hope my suicide jokes catch your eye.
but they don't.
you don't care about me.
you don't love me.
and you don't need me.
calion Feb 2016
i love the you no one gets to see.
don't get me wrong, you're beautiful all the time.
but i love seeing your shield shatter.
calion Dec 2015
I shouldnt have lied and said I was okay.
I should have asked you for help.
Oh god, I need your help.
I am shattered.
Do you not see my broken bones?
Do you not see the way I cry out for help?
I just want to be noticed.
I shouldn't have lied.
But you should've known.
  Dec 2015 calion
Thomas Davies
What does it mean?
Those three little dots...

What does it mean?
Cause i use it always and everywhere...

What does it mean?
It explains so much about me...

What does it mean?

Maybe I'm just
Full of thoughts
I can't fathom into stars...
calion Nov 2015
I want to hate you.
I want to love you.
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