Gravity, Gravity, Gravity pulls me away,
Heading, Heading, Heading towards uncertain ways.
Answers are distance apart, too weary worry.

Leave me be, emotions sickness.
You are my pure weakness.

The hologram memories,
Bleeds haunting entries,
Triggered by many entities.

Sometimes it’s just too much
   with just one touch,
Cravings comes in a rush,
   fragile heart being crush.

Knowing you, I must arise
   in the dawn of sunrise.
I raise my hope to be able to cope,
to stop the lasting loop of this urging dope.


*© Pax

I hate it
I hate the way that everyone looks at me
they way they laugh and mock
the way their voices sound;
it's so dreadful;
so filled with negative and hate.
sometimes I contemplate ending it.
just so I don't have to hear them;
just so I don't have to think.
but I know it's not worth it.
"it all gets better"
.. right?
that's what they all say as they hand you prescriptions,
as they send you off for seven hours to hear nonsense
but, "it all gets better"
so what does it matter?

There never seems
To be enough
Seconds in a minute
Or
Minutes in an hour
Or
Hours in a day
When it comes to this journey called "life."
There always seems to be
Somewhere to go
Or
Someone to see.
If it's not here, then it's there.
If it's not her, then it's them.
I frantically rush from one hour
To the next
CrammingCrushing
Everylittlething
Until there is nothing left but
Me and a hundred of thoughts,
A myriad of worries,
And a pyramid of plans.

But it's then that I take a breathe.
I take a breath
& remember You-
The Great Beginning
And the End.
For even but a moment
It is just the Father and I-
A father and his daughter.
I rest at the feet of Jesus
Like Mary once did.
There is no agenda
No rush
No need to be anywhere but here.
I am humbled by His presence for
He radiates
Love,
Holiness,
Self-lessness,
Patience-
All that I am not.

I tell Him of my day
And the fears that have taken root:
The fear of failing,
The fear of disappointment,
The fear of not being good enough.
"It's too much!"
I cry out.
"I can't do it!
There's too many things and not enough me."
But my Father,
He tells me to list.
He tells me of how He has a plan-
A plan of joy
Not worry;
A plan of peace,
Not distress;
A plan of victory,
Not defeat.
"Child, yes, you are small,
But I am big-
Bigger than your plans,
Bigger than your hopes,
Bigger than your fears.
So take comfort in Me
When life is not at rest.
Find solace during the story
While knowing that I calm the seas."

I welcome the sullen morning
I gaze upon the empty sea
I stare into the empty blue
And it's darkness envelops me

I welcome the sullen morning
I feel the clutch of the icy breeze
I think of you and wish the blue
Would blanket over me

I welcome the sullen morning
My troubles buried in the sand
I wish my memories farewell
As I watch them tumble in the waves
Of my past

Maybe I should give up?
Maybe I should stop?
Maybe I should let go?
Or maybe its just a small hiccup?

I see things I worry about,
Or at least I think I should,
But who knows what will happen
Anything could.

So do I sit here and worry?
Sit here in fear?
Or get over it?
letting the chance of pain draw near.

Of course I'm afraid,
Who wouldn't be?
he thought of losing a loved one
It doesn't frighten only me.

So I guess I should figure it out,
one way or the other,
But I hope my fears are wrong,
Because I don't want to lose another...

Thoughts revolve and whir
clicking together mechanically
in a consistent hum I'd wonder if you
were smiling today.
Unable to see or notice
a true smile
you drive me nuts
as bolts and metal re-align
hoping in erratic motions.

Set automatically
sorting through things
that steal away my gears.
Rusting those that refuse to budge
damaging beyond repair.

If only it were enough to be called 'human'
Be rid of these cogs that ***** with my mind.

As well as thoughts of you...

In a short 24 hours
We transition from
Condemning the lack of
gun control
Shouting cries of
Murderous misogyny
Lamenting over lost souls
Innocent
and Never Forgotten
Players in our Facebook Novels.

In one day
We switch to watching
Glitzy action films
Of men in tight suits
Saving individuals
Innocents
Quickly forgotten.
Because we are reassured that
At least one is safe.

But not until after
We see 20 minutes
At least
Of destruction
Chaos
Explosions
of Innocents
Screaming and running
in Terror
Fearing for their lives
From a madman on his
Massacre
Innocents
immediately forgotten.

And we are uneffected.
We do not mourn over these
Innocents.
Despite seeing them die
We are unaffected and Entertained
Before our very eyes
We saw them.
And we forgot them.

They are not mentioned
They are not remembered
And they are not Lamented
In our Facebook Novels.
Despite the fact that
We Know
These tragedies actually happen.