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newborn Jul 2023
same man who told me i would be his girl
ripped my heart out and slammed it onto the floor.
haunted by betrayal, it twists around my room
it sits upon my bed and it refuses to listen to you
or me.
same guilt pressed against my skin
my own friends lost so much sight of me.
i’m sorry.
he was accidental tears falling from my eyes
makeup worn to disguise
the melancholy deep within my soul.
same man who told me i would be the one to take home
told me to go.
stretched out on the beach,
nothing but the sky and sea
reaching towards a meaning you would never give to me.
somehow now it’s all my fault
i misread all your calls
i had mistaken your sudden advances for something meaningful.
you’re a narcissist, a crawling goblin,
a regretted kiss, your knife still sharpened
over my silk body, over my salty tears
over all these doubts
you couldn’t heal
carved a heart shape out of my chest
left in a dying mess
i bet you’re happy
knowing you hurt someone like me
for the hundredth time
do you ever learn?
before you hurt people like
me
who just want to be seen
by a man who tells us we’re beautiful?
does it burn you to see the fireworks sink from the sky
beside your bedside?
or do you never regret anything
never apologize when you’re mean
never have to take accountability
for your stupid actions.
you are the glass shards in my back
aching intensely
the extra teeth in my mouth just puncturing me
you are a brutish maniac, a life threatening heart attack
you are a dead man
run ahead, man.
same man who loved me for months
says he’s done
with this.
same man who betrayed me
still thinks he’s holy.
same man who broke my heart
still thinks he’s an injured part.
oh, you never knew me
but i must not have known you too well, either.
about someone else’s situation. the audacity on some people and the naivety of others.

7/3/23
newborn Jul 2023
it’s so hard to stomach it
that i would feel freer without your grip
to leap from the cascade of waterfall
blood in the water
stab wound under the blouse
it’s a woman killer,
staying put.
that when it’s airplanes plummeting from the gaping sky,
or when it’s thrashing swords,
it’s better to just stay silent
or run away
but how come running away is so tricky?
to just move those little feet
and leave the ditch you lay in
for blooming gardens and sky-kissing cities
but it’s impossible.
bruises gather on satin skin
snake bites bubble
and tears slip
and
the realization hits
but doesn’t hit hard enough
and it’s just sitting in trenches
waiting for the enemy to consume
me
but it’s a slow burn
and
it burns so terribly.
i have remained unspoken
i have let the automobiles crash into my haven
i have given them a place to rest,
a place to stay in
and i
regret it.
regret meeting you
regret encouraging you
regret being anything near you.
you’ll stare at my grave in the ground
and you’ll just shrug it off,
move some dirt over it,
but it only covers the evidence
not the girl that sits
with her knees clenched
sobbing in fits
of anguish
caused by your tyrannical hunger
to give life to lonely people
and then take it away.

yet sometimes the water is calm;
there are no ripples caused by incongruity
no collapsing dams, no inundations
just peace.
and it’s safe in this place
i say
but one ever knows when rain
might be too heavy
and one never knows when their house is about to get flooded.

all i do is damage myself for you.
um..it feels like i should be running like a cheetah in the opposite direction, but why can’t i?? what do i feel like i owe you??

7/3/23
Daniel Pokorny Jul 2023
And yet despite the reciprocities of man, we are still at war.
Not at war with other nations,
Not at war with our governments,
Not at war with our neighbors,
But at war with ourselves.
The war that never ends is the war that is fought inside ourselves.
We all know that this is something that exists,
We all know that this is something that shouldn’t change,
We all know that sometimes war is too great for ourselves and we seek help.
But the war is something that we all agree should remain.
Why I ask of you,
Why must this war remain?  
Is it so that we can constantly better ourselves through repeated questioning?
Is it so we can work to create turmoil in our minds in which we must struggle through?
Or is it so we have a reason to perpetually push ourselves to improve so that we may reach a certain goal?
This is an answer that will forever remain for it is different for the individual.
But it is my belief that thanks to these inner wars, we may improve as a society, no, more so improve as a species.
Through self improvement, through self turmoil, through self questioning, we may force ourselves to change, to become the person or entity in which we wish to become,
And if everyone was able to achieve this goal,
Either it be through our own desires, or the desires of our circumstance,
We can improve others, thanks to the experience one gains, and due to the natural human desire for social contact.
But not all inner wars lead to this outcome,
Many of them lead to selfishness, entitlement, or even apathy for their fellow people.
Saying that we should leave behind our earthly values, or a physical addiction is not what I’m implying here.
I believe that we are all allowed to have some selfishness, some amount of self entitlement, and even a small amount of apathy for people.
We do not need to feel empathy for the people who have wronged us, but we shouldn’t ignore the reasoning for them doing so, we can learn from their mistakes and teach it to others.
Being too selfless leads to self destruction due to giving too much of yourself away for the sake of others, this leads to a mind that will sooner than later crumble under the stress of pleasing those around them, and even sooner a body that will start to fall apart from beneath them.
A small amount of self entitlement leads to knowing one's self worth, if you have no entitlement then you lead to being too selfless, and leads you to become used by those around you.
How?
By allowing yourself to do the tasks or the jobs that nobody else wishes to do, yes it's good that someone does those things, but letting someone do it for too long and their mind too will lower itself to the trash tasks and will become trash itself due to repeated exposure.
The inner war that we all face, that we all have, and that we can all see,
It should be discussed,
It should be allowed to be seen by others,
It should be a way for self improvement.
It should always remain.
Just started typing whatever came to mind, apologies if it seems like a jumbled mess.
Mark Wanless Jun 2023
i am here because
of help so much i wonder
why
Why did you stop breathing,
When I wanted you to have so many more breaths?
Why did you leave this world,
When there was so much experience within it that you had left?
Why do I have to live without you now,
When we got no time at all?
Why does it have to be so unfair?
Why can’t you come back once, or a thousand hundred times more?

Why did you die first,
When I am so much older?
Why couldn’t anyone do anything enough to save you?
Why did no one’s efforts work?
Why did you go from being healthy,
To unresuscitationable?

Why am I stuck here now,
Without ever being able to see you again?
What do you think about and do in heaven?
Do you think about me at all?

I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough.
If I could have had a second chance,
I’d do it all so much better.
I miss you more than you could know,
I love you and I never wanted to let you go.
In loving memory of my little brother <\3
Caage Gaber Jun 2023
I fully hate you.
No questions to my detest.
Why am I here though?
My determination. I hate some qualities and that makes me believe I hate the person that personifies those qualities. Why though do I end up around said people?
newborn Jul 2022
might as well have poisonous chemicals poured onto my skin
since i want to rip it off
strip it off my body
pile it inside the trash
for the raccoons to go to town on

the body i came with
i want to send it back to the store
i want it to be returned
packaged away
return to sender

invasive species
on the layers of my skin
that i should be calling home
but i disown them
get this dead weight off of me!
i am insecure about everything on my body. make it stop.
Mark Wanless May 2022
i wondered why not
to turn around and look
i did and was
Ant Feb 2022
tears,
how many more can i spill?
tears,
maybe im better off drowning in them.
Ren Sturgis Jan 2022
Why does such darkness follow me?
I run and I run, yet still I cannot see.
The light has fled and I fear I'm not free,
from the darkness that has taken a hold on me.
"Why?" I ask the wind, and sea
"Will the darkness ever let go?"
the reply of a salty breeze
"Let light into your heart, and the darkness will flee."
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