i am
sick and tired
of being left
of not being enough
of ******* hurting
so badly i bleed
out of my hands and throat

i am
sick and tired
of false hope
of telling myself
everything will be okay

i think i'll turn
to the dark side
for a bit
maybe happiness
just is not meant for me
in this lifetime
and i give up

            t r y i n g
            to fight for it

you think i am
a woman who
is okay
with being left
in the dark

my my
are you
wrong

you think you can
hurt me
but
oh
baby
only i can
hurt me

    now stay the **** away

I don’t want this
I don’t want to be sober
I don’t want to be successful
I don’t want to be whatever you all wanted
I just... I just want to be happy...
But yes... I understand.
Happiness is not for me.

she can’t get anything done,
call her irresponsible or dumb.
maybe she’s both,
but no one will ever ask.
maybe she’s cold,
but doesn’t want anyone to know.
she feels the pressure come,
shoulders about to drop,
heart giving up.
it’s not like you’d understand,
you expect me to be perfect,
worth it, when I hate myself.
take me from this place,
i cannot stay,
i feel number everyday.
dreams been replaced with lost hope,
what’s faith?
expectations make focus harder,
i’m drained.
don’t tell me what to do,
let me live how i want,
can’t you already see, i’m tired of this life.

she pours all of her time and effort into a guy who is foreign to the thought of love,
deeply rooted lays the never given,
he was never shown love,
what could possibly, make him give it?
she is upset all of the time,
probably cause’ daddy is absent and doesn’t bother to call either,
she rides the rollercoaster of life,
by “getting by”, searching for love in guys like him.
he likes her, but refuses to pronounce the words of his love,
too cold to show it,
leaves her to feel drowned out,
she is broken down, but still calls out for him,
her yearning drives him to be consumed by the tidal wave of love,
in the end, he and she are found washed ashore.
what do you call this?

Cakes, cookies, cheese
Oh can I have them please
Burgers, dogs, fries
I can’t live with all these lies

Friends, fakes, foes
Oh what I’d do for some ** hos
Mascara, lipstick, eyeliner
I wish I was in a greasy diner

Short skirts and high heels galore
I’m starting to look like a *****
They say they’re worried of my composure
They are the reason I changed my figure

Skin and bones they say
But they said I was the size of a sleigh
I did this for them to make them happy
But here I am unhappy and former fatty

My heart weighs heavily
In my chest
I never loved
I never cared
That was until I met you.
You who showed me
That the smallest
Inconvenience
Can bring forth bowls of laughter.
Each memory of you
Stays intertwined with
My happiness
Now you’re gone
And I remain inconvenienced

i don't know if i want to kiss your lips or just your skin
I just know i'm falling
but I’m afraid I’ll hit the ground hard. And I don't want to.
Can your arms hold the weight of my love? Or do they just want to hold my naked body?
Are you sure it's the best idea to just see where things go?
You make me think love isn’t a real thing
sometimes it seems beautiful
    fictional
        toxic
             deadly…
You still kiss me like i'm what you want
but i know it's just a game to you
Please don't be surprised if one day i refuse to participate.
you're patronizing
                inconsiderate
                     cold  
                 debilitating
                
but somehow you still find the words and continue dragging me along.

i'm not sure if you're really toxic….
or it's just all in my head.
because i love you
I think I love you?
Or maybe, i only love you when you're in my bed.
I still haven’t decided