Leave it alone
I've done all I can and now it's time to go
Perhaps I'll drive home
This bottle once spoke now it screams through my throat

And I swear to you I feel alive
As I swerve from lane to lane, from left to right
Don't try to stop me now; I can feel again
But I promise I'll still crash the ******* car just the same.

I swear to you, I felt alive.
But maybe I didn't want to be.

I fell down today
The world was spinning
But I was standing still
I caught myself against the cheap siding
Of this familiar house
I stopped breathing for a moment
Then I took my wobbly knees
And my unfocused eyes
Right back inside
To hide from everything
That shifted the ground under my feet

Your driving with both hands on the wheel
yet you find yourself spinning
out of control .
tell you stop.
stuck in a ditch.
in the middle of nowhere
you wonder how you even got there
you never remember taking these roads
or thinking you would ever wake up
lost and alone.
but yet you're here
searching for a way out
but when the way out is more painful then staying
why get out?
why not just stay.
survive.
but we're human.
always searching for life
something that makes us feel alive.
safe and happy.
two weeks later you wonder
if you made the right choice.
I did.

Falling slowly,
hands held tightly
spinning spinning
round and round

Easy turning
whirling, yearning
please don't let
me down

Quickly hiding,
worlds colliding
I can not
confess

Driving sweetly
incompletely
I am under
duress

welcome to this dream
I will spin you in c
                        es        ir
                          ­    cl
with me trying to fall asleep
melatonin completely absent from my veins
voices blur in messy paintings
(Goya total sense does make
compared to cinnamon gum
washing
the bitter sweet taste of someone away)
sirens scream too loudly
mesmerizing half of me
slowly spinning
                  spinning
(little me with a top on the porch in the summer sun)
except there's no sun
and this spinning cannot be stopped
life
too tangible now
and I suddenly need
cinnamon gum again.

Did you ever see those circus performers with the spinning plates?
Plates on poles spinning, spinning, spinning
You could never understand how they kept so many up
spinning, spinning, spinning

Just as one is about to fall
you can already hear the crash in your head
the shattering of porcelain on the ground
they spin it again and it stabilizes
just barely

There is the same moon outside the hut
The windows and the hole in the roof
Bring the same moonlight
But all rays look different
Some shaded, some bright
Some make shadows; some come as beams of arrows
The same sun rises and sets down in the west
As the earth revolves in madness
Spinning like a drunken dancer
But no two mornings and evenings are the same
No two stars look the same each night
No two breezes are one
So is my love
Every night is a new life
A new love song