I knew I was nothing to you
But what a dream it was
To pretend I was something.

Every now and then we'd meet in his old ***** room which he no longer inhabited. We shared something we chose never to label for there wasn't any word to describe the things we did and the things we said. We became nocturnal, we found peace within the night and each other. Everything about him was so familiar; he was my home away from home. I found safety in his humour and the way he would sing out of the blue and play the tune within his fingers. The building which holds all of what we've done is to be demolished and nothing will be the same once it's gone. It was one of a kind... just like us.

You've made me feel
Alive again.
After so many years of
Being dead.

You've made me feel
Safe again.
After so many years of
Crippling fear.

You've made me feel
Happy again.
After so many years of
Excruciating pain.

You've made me feel
Loved again.
After so many years of
Searing hate.

You've made me feel
Something*  again.
After so many years of
Lonely nothingness.

*You've made me feel
Alive again.
After so many years of
Being dead.

I'm a little traumatized for not being able to write for so long.
Am I somewhere between writers block or I don't know what to write?

I'm a little bit traumatized, well not a little bit but a whole lot bit.

My passion stays burning but where's my need for writing?

The point of it all was to not feel a **** thing.
But here you are
Here I am,
Here we are.
Stuck in a moment we both don't want to leave.

There's something bigger, there's something more
There's something greater than there ever was before
A difference so subtle I almost paid it no mind
Hard to put my finger on and harder still to define
Life goes on and time inexorably passes
It seems the same, but now and then there are flashes;
Glimpses of what was, what is, and what could be
There, I observe, I am alive and well and free
What I would need to change to make this future a reality!
I could never get there on my own; the gap is just too wide
I need someone to build a bridge to cross the great divide.
There is one who has the tools to do the task
But I need to take initiative and ask.
I like what I see, but do I really want to do this?
All the comforts and control of the vices, I would miss.
How could I live without them around?
It would be uncomfortable not to have them weighing me down.
I think this now, but there I saw real joy and peace
And if this could happen, I'd love that sweet release.
I could sing with all my heart, I could dance with every part
I could cross the great sea with the wind filling my sails
And anchored steady and secure in the storms and the gales.
I could fill the sky with words of love, with thanks and praise unceasing
Writing poetry and prayers, across the world reaching
If this is what could be, what reason do I have to resist
Open my hand, put it in yours and walk with you instead of making a fist
Lead me to this future and help me follow you
Help me if I stumble and guide me straight and true!