i feel like i have to hide my sadness away from you
like you won't love the raging storm inside of me
and i want to scream at the top of my lungs
but when i open my mouth, nothing comes out
i'm drowning, but only sometimes
sometimes i feel okay and i'm able to breathe
but other times i just feel like an anchor drifting down into the sea
too heavy to bring itself back up
too burdened to care
it doesn't matter if i'm drowning or above water
there's just no reason for this sadness to be inside me
i'm used to the waves of emotions crashing against the rocky cliff
but there's no storm this time
there's no thunder
there's no lightning
but maybe my heart still has a couple leaks
maybe the water is still rushing into it
maybe i don't have all the things i need to fix it
maybe i'm still broken in places no one can reach
i don't want to be broken anymore
i don't want to be full of debris from the storm
i don't want this
and i don't have a reason for why i'm this way
sometimes the waves just wash over me
until i can no longer breathe

dear demons, i am loved
despite the words you scream at me
"you're unlovable"
no i'm not

There's something about the honesty that shows when there's no way back.

When you scream your heart out for the last time.

Knowing that it doesn't matter anymore, you just go for it.

The need to get it all out.

Hoping that it'll change everything..
yet knowing that it won't.

Crying, knowing we've lost each other, we finally listened.

A lifetime's worth of silence seperating us.

And then it all changed.

It was like the final piece of the puzzle showed on the table.

We both realized what it meant, what it'd take to put it in place.

With shaky hands we made our choice.

A perfect puzzle completed.

I'm a lonely voice broadcasting radio waves into a deaf space

I'm unwillingly hidding in the shadow of all their grace

My emotions are an lonely civilisation in a empty space

My voice is useless when I'm outside their walls screaming at their gates

All that plays again and again is the shapes of my mistakes

While I'm sitting here wasted and displaced, sad I haven't got what it takes

I scamp around trying to find myself,
All others say – you’re ******* lazy man,
I try to do something others don’t,
People say – oh, look at this child’s moan,
I want to be nothing like everyone else around,
They scream – so, you think you’re better than the rest of us and you want to fly off this ground?

I say – I want to, I try to, I dream no matter what
But in the end I realize, I’m just like everyone else in this stupid world
I’m rotten, sinful and full of ****,
And only with time I realize that I’ve been swallowed by others… and puked back into this dirt

I know you think I’m mad at you
Because I stayed silent when I dropped you off at your house
But if I’m honest
I knew I’d either cry or scream
If I opened up my mouth.

Mad? I wish I could be.