Bleach my heart,
my eyes and my mouth.
Strangle love out of me
till I scream and shout.
Let my skin turn red,
purple and blue.
Feed me till I drop dead
with an apple from Peru.
Scream at me, scream!
Let there be steam
coming out of your ears
to awaken my fears.
Hold me tight and whisper
till your lips gets blisters.
Beat me ******
roar loud.
Show me that your proud
of the hot heavy tears
that stream down my face.
They are just for you
and don't bring me a tissue.

Get a job,
a husband or wife.
Make yourself comfortable
in your own life.
So they tell me
or would have told me
if they were still alive.
But they are dying slowly
by the magic pills.
They are no longer there
to protect and care.
I no longer have devils
that whisper and scream.
They can do both
but now they are doing non.
And I can see myself having fun,
not caring or staring
into nothingness.
Yet it leaves me in mourning
to know they are about to die.
Maybe if I hold on a little longer
I won't be lonely and then find myself
a job, husband or wife.

Dark eyes, like a river of black and the smallest white reflections, cannot be seen
Why do I find myself there, in your cold eyes, where it's barren and I find myself lost in between
All those bright colors you're missing, I feel bad that you cannot see anything besides black and white
I'm sure that someone told you that seeing those two colors only is alright

Even in your dark eyes, I'm sure I can find a brighter color, I swear
I love to get lost in those fragile doe eyes, but it's more than just cold there
Your dark eyes scream for more than just help, they scream save me
Each time I try to though, I drift farther and farther out to sea

i feel like i have to hide my sadness away from you
like you won't love the raging storm inside of me
and i want to scream at the top of my lungs
but when i open my mouth, nothing comes out
i'm drowning, but only sometimes
sometimes i feel okay and i'm able to breathe
but other times i just feel like an anchor drifting down into the sea
too heavy to bring itself back up
too burdened to care
it doesn't matter if i'm drowning or above water
there's just no reason for this sadness to be inside me
i'm used to the waves of emotions crashing against the rocky cliff
but there's no storm this time
there's no thunder
there's no lightning
but maybe my heart still has a couple leaks
maybe the water is still rushing into it
maybe i don't have all the things i need to fix it
maybe i'm still broken in places no one can reach
i don't want to be broken anymore
i don't want to be full of debris from the storm
i don't want this
and i don't have a reason for why i'm this way
sometimes the waves just wash over me
until i can no longer breathe

dear demons, i am loved
despite the words you scream at me
"you're unlovable"
no i'm not

There's something about the honesty that shows when there's no way back.

When you scream your heart out for the last time.

Knowing that it doesn't matter anymore, you just go for it.

The need to get it all out.

Hoping that it'll change everything..
yet knowing that it won't.

Crying, knowing we've lost each other, we finally listened.

A lifetime's worth of silence seperating us.

And then it all changed.

It was like the final piece of the puzzle showed on the table.

We both realized what it meant, what it'd take to put it in place.

With shaky hands we made our choice.

A perfect puzzle completed.