Drenched in thoughts
Decisions on my mind
The options I should find
Have become more inclined
To make me climb
For the answer lies
Deep in the dark of the night
That's why we must fall
To learn to get back up
But when this struck
It punctured every cell in my brain
It's made it harder to get up again
I've been a fighter all my life
But this time I didn't feel it strike
The fire in my eyes
Have lost all there desire
To be a high climber
Your soul divider
Has made me a weak decider
When it burnt, it left a mark
Deep inside of my heart
it left no air in my lungs
in fact, I don't feel the rushing in my blood
Can you feel a pulse
Can you hear a beat
Cuz I'm laying here dying
In this deserted street
I fell high from the peak
Only to wind back up on the ground
Hope was lost now it can't be found
Surrounded by vultures all around
Where were you, Where were you?
When I was lost in the crowd
Where were you, Where were you?
When I hit the ground
Where were you?

©2018 Written By Benji James

Why do I keep making the same mistakes
Over and over when I know it isn't right?
Will I ever learn how to fix my flaws
Or are we fated to forever fight?

How can you forgive me
When I have lied and broke your heart?
How much more of my ******* can you handle
Before you fully break apart?

Will you ever be able to trust me again
After I have given you no reason to?
Have I completely ruined what we had
Or is there still a chance for me and you?

Is there anything I could do or say
To show you how much you mean to me?
What do I have to do to prove to you
That with your help I can be who you need me to be?

How do I change my stubborn ways
When I have not a clue where to start?
Is it possible for me to make my wrongs right
And repair the wounds I created on your heart?

If each neuron in your mind were a tree,
How big do you think
The forest would be?

How does it look
When neither of us is happy
When the air is heavy
Toxic with anger
Yet we love each other
Nights looking like a sleep over
Rather than a loving home
How does it look
When we don't talk
Yet leave in the same car
No eye contact
Yet we love each other
I can't tell you how it looks
Im on the inside
Not the outside looking in
But i can tell you
Exactly how it feels

Choose Life


We choose our own teachers,
Just as we choose how to live.
We choose when to have faith,
Just as we choose what to see.


It’s just our personal choices that define us,
Including choices we chose not to make.
It may be our subconscious or conscious thoughts,
But it’s the same twenty four hours in this day.


The smallest of choices could change your life
And a choice we chose not to choose
Could have no effect at all.
But if we chose to succeed,
The chance of failure would shorten;
But would anything really change
If we chose nothing at all?


You see I could have chosen not to,
Write these words for you to read.
Just as you could have chosen
Not to use your brain and think,
About the underlying text;
Is it speaking the truth?
This is not my question to answer.
Its target is not you.


But still you choose to answer,
For you have read so you must speak.
I have no need for any opinion,
I just wrote this for me to read.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

Another one gone like the wind.
Now giving light in this dark cruel world.
Following the many that left here.
Watching everyone from above.

Look above and see how the stars shine.
Each star shows a different light.
Some may not be as bright.
But that's alright.

Darling, I hope that you are in a better place.
I really hope you are.
Now you may end your suffering.

But really. How will we know?
How will we know how much you are suffering?

I shut my eyes and inhale
Trying to find the inner goddess
The warrior, the princess
The one who is inspiring and magical at her core

Instead, I see me
I find an empty chest that is twisted with anxiety
I find a tired body from ripping myself away
I find a mind begging to be silent
I find a heart longing to be free

I stop for a moment.

I no longer am plastering pieces together to form a goddess.
I can see that I am nothing near to a princess
Not an inspiration or a songbird in the breeze
My heart is tugged downward by weights

What am I feeling?
It buried so far beneath the surface I am not sure I will ever see
It is nonexistent, untraceable
A hollowness envelops me

and I let it go.

To those who look in the mirror
And see a beautiful person
And those that look in the mirror
But see nothing.

It matters not what cold gray world
We all may live on
Or a world of vibrant green and gold
It is our world.

Soak what gray you most in blood.
Whether it be black blood of hate
                       Blue blood of envy
             Green blood of greed
         Purple blood of lust
Or the crimson of life.

Take this world in your hands
And cradle whats here.
There is someone who understands.
Someone with your taste.

Take the leg broken amd trode upon
And pick yourself up.
Prove that the strongest people
See nothing in the mirror.

Show that the empty mirror
Only shows whats important to you.
Those that see a beautiful person...
Show them that hate
                        Hate is the best motivator

The best for success.

The best for a great life.

For hate is a driving force
Behind the bullet that is you.
Fired feom the mouth of that
Beauty seeking mirror looker.

Take beauty from your surroundings
As well as within yourself.
Only then will you finally see
Something in your mirror.

And what you'll see wont be beauty
But success.

Seen or unseen,
It matters not to the strong.
Because the mirror isn't real.
You made it because they did.

Destroy ot like you did their words.
Use that broken leg to stand tall.
Taller than anyone.

But always remember where you come from.
Stay humble no matter where life leads.

For if you don't
Your reflection will change.
And so will your leg.