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s Jun 2015
looking down while I hear shouting
“It’s all your fault”
I want to cry
I want to shout back
I want to scream
do I not have feelings?
can I not speak?
frustrated and angry
my lungs are filled
the burning sensitivity in my throat
I can sense the sobbing
I run to my room
the only comfort that was given to me
I can’t cry
I can’t shout back
I can’t scream
the throbbing of my heart against my chest
the clenching of my fists
the waterfall running down my face
the ripping of my hair
these human sensations
yet the pain inside will not go
is my soul shattering
broken
cracked
I feel nothing
sorry i just had to get this out
josin137 May 2015
We use to say,
'Nothing can do us apart.'

In the end, **you did.
mk May 2015
I’m looking for you
in every part of him
hoping when I hold his hand
I’ll be able to go back
to the time when
we swore we’d never let go
hoping when my lips touch his
it’ll remind me of the nights we didn’t sleep
and the days we spent in bed
hoping when I tell him about my day
it’ll be your voice replying
and telling me everything will be okay
if I squint my eyes
I can make myself believe he is you
even though he will never have your mesmerizing eyes
the deepest shade of mahogany brown- like hardwood
I remember the fire in your gaze
it set my mind, body and soul ablaze
his hair will never be quite messy enough
his handshake never so firm
his walk will always be too stiff
and his voice never deep enough
but maybe if I close my eyes
maybe if I silence my mind
maybe if I pray and hope and yearn enough
I will be able
to find parts of you
hidden inside him
and maybe,
just maybe,
I will be able to go back
to the time when it was you and i
and there is nothing
in the whole world
that I would want more
// there are certain people you just keep coming back to //
"inside out, you’re underneath"
"don’t let me be gone."
"i’m a goner"
"i want to be known."


those are the lyrics
that had my eyes in tears
that had my heart in pain
they hit so close
so close to home
they hit my heart
they hit my head

every part of me
felt this song
felt me knowing
that eventually
no one can fix me.

i want to know myself.
i don’t want to be gone
i have to stop myself
stop it from being gone.

"i’m inside out,
you’re underneath."

i have to get right side out
i have to get that underneath
back outside
my filthy mind
my filthy mind that won’t let me escape

i can’t take another day
feeling this way
feeling like i’m somewhere
stuck in-between
between these spaces in my brain
inspired by twenty one pilots
LveYourLife May 2015
I was 1000 pieces, it said so on the box.
A thousand tiny details beneath a dusty lock.
People loved the challenge and would open me
Only to sort through for the piece they needed.

If the piece didn't fit,
It simply wasn't worth it.
And within a moment,
I understood it.

Everyone wanted my pieces to fit together quickly,
But this takes time and can be tricky.

Did being on the shelf
Make me selfish?
Or was it wise
To disguise
My flaws?

Time passed and I never did get assembled.
I didn't even resemble
What I should've.

And then one day, I met you.

Suddenly, I wasn't 1000 separate parts.
I was infinite, older than the stars.
You held each piece and felt the bumpy edges,
My crests and ledges.
And slowly slid each one into place,
A look of certainty across your face.

You smoothed my cracks,
And I no longer lacked
Anything.

You made me whole again.
And right then,
I knew
That all I had been missing

Was you.
thegirlwhowrites May 2015
certain moving ons
do not require goodbyes.

sort of our case - - -

with both of us
needing to let go
without us having to part.

for a.c.
*051215
Àŧùl May 2015
Seeing me anxious more than a lot,
The old witch relented a little,
She let me breathe freely,
Back transformed into her daughter,
She touched my forehead,
Then I realized it was sweaty,
Seeing her lovely care I smiled a bit.

So she now lit up a fragrant incense,
The incense seemed so soothing,
She then edged closer to me,
Transcendental wings were visible,
She came even closer to me,
Then the wings simply vanished,
So traceless as if never been there.

It must have been another illusion,
The very day I had set sail to sea,
It was probably carrying over,
Troubling me each non and then,
In my wild dreams I had seen,
True she could not be & was not,
In my life the torment was written.

Soon I was pleading to her teary-eyed,
"Please don't torment me, it hurts!"
She looked at me with affection,
And said, "But I truly love you, sailor,"
She advanced forwards further,
"Have you forgotten all those nights?
Did you even forget the night at sea?"


I first remembered that night at sea,
The night back at home came next,
I had been seduced by her magic,
This was the real picture every time,
I was weak but I still felt warmer,
The night ship feels like yesterday,
I was in confusion about what to do.

Her face was transitioning rapidly,
The old mother to her daughter,
Her daughter to that very angel,
And back to the old mother witch,
Her smile turned into laughter,
The witch laughing at my cries,
Her face here was contorted a lot.

She seemed to be struggling a lot,
As though fight ensued within,
Soon I figured it out by myself,
First I must **** the witch to help,
So I looked around & grabbed,
Axe that I did spot lying there,
Spot on I killed the witch right then.
Witch killed, Angel released.

https://hellopoetry.com/collection/13567/the-angel-saga/

My HP Poem #859
©Atul Kaushal
Àŧùl Apr 2015
I Peered Out Of The Room Windows,
I Was In This Desolate Guesthouse,
It Was A Comfortable Rest House,
And Here I Was In Anticipation,
Angel Or Whosoever Was Awaited,
Will She Pop Into My Vision Here Too,
Was It Only A Seasick Mind's Illusion?

Was All That Really Just An Illusion,
Thinking This I Prepared For Bed,
Then I Felt A Flute Was Playing,
Looked Into Sound's Direction,
All I Saw Then Was Foggy Night,
My Own Reflection Was Also Visible,
Slightly If Not Entirely Can Be Seen.

I Recalled The First Night At The Sea,
She Did Appear On The Towed Raft,
A Beautiful Mermaid I Had Seen,
Now I Did Remember It Clearly,
My Face Was No Longer Mine,
Yes It Was The Beautiful Face Of Hers,
She Wasn't Sad As I Did Remember.

She Was Smiling So Very Divinely,
Her Brown Eyes Stared So Cutely,
More Divine Felt She Was Really,
I Thought That It Was So Early,
My Pocket Watch Showed Three,
I Took My Eyes Off And Went To Bed,
Then & There She Was Lying For Me.

I Again Let My Mind Play Games,
Never Did Imagine Turning Mad,
Now I Was Not Feeling As Bad,
Neither I Wanted To Break It,
Nor It Felt Like One Anymore,
This Was The Dream I Loved To Live,
As If The Boon Was Presented To Me.

She Smiled As I Sat On The Bed,
I Asked Her, "Are You Real?"
"Yes, Just As Your Thoughts,"
I Then Stared At Her Lips,
She Then Touched Me Again,
Hands As Soft As That Night At Sea,
I Just Felt Like Opposing Her Touch.

I Blankly Smiled And Thought,
'My Thoughts Are Surely Real,'
Then I Just Let Her Guide Me,
The Moon Shone So Bright,
It Just Felt Really So Very Right,
Resigning I Just Let My Illusion Win,
It's Love We Were Sharing, Not A Sin.
This is the 4th episode of The 'Angel?' Saga

https://hellopoetry.com/collection/13567/the-angel-saga/

My HP Poem #848
©Atul Kaushal
the gulf widens
to reveal a scene
completely new to me

the gulf widens and
the earth splits and
the clouds drift and

so, we
must finally
part
Ezra Apr 2015
Hush,
Don't cry,
Even stars must someday part--

It's not the end of the world
~Reborn Again
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