At 2am he asks me how I am
I avoid the question by saying im in bed eating a bag of shredded cheese
I figured it would answer its self
I look into my brain, mental instability on the top shelf
He looks inside his to find what to say back to her-
“Is i️t cheddar?”
It’s mild- i️m wild ive got the heart of a child when they see a dog at the shelter
It’s my responsibility to fall in love with her
And him and you and everybody i see
Im a ******* pisces
Im going to wake up with cheese all over my ******* bed
My horoscope said “if you don’t swim for something, you’ll drown for anything”
Stop holding my head underwater
Go find pearl jam and have them call me daughter
And I’ll wear the shoe laces of a queen
Im a sane mother’s ******* despite the neon static in my head and the spiratic crumbs in my bed
“No eating in bed” they said
Then hit me with a shovel, plug the hdmi chord into my ear and watch my chemical dreams on the big screen in the neighbors backyard
Shove a joint in my eye as a thank you card and turn the volume up
Throw me in the back of a pick up truck
Then tape my hand to a gas guzzling motorcycle maybe it will help me sleep
Keep the helmet on the seat
No drinking for lent and on sundays don’t cheat
Beat me with a golf club sell me on stubhub
I might have a talent or two
But soon I’ll fall off of my thrown, theres something missing from my shoes
I find the white lines tied to a pipe
Seperating a head from a body
A shoelace in this case was worn by an undeserving daughter
Slaughtered by a helpful string
“Turn off that thing” the neighbors screamed
“Stop her mind”
**** was just getting good,  mind you
Rip down the screen, pull out my ear too
Put the shoelaces back on my shoe
Theres nothing to see here but a disturbed dream
With shredded cheese at the crime scene

I find myself
indulging with tangible objects
- Books,
Movies,
Food,
Music -
because intangible objects like
- Love,
Trust,
Belonging,
Lust -
won’t ever touch me
the way these
tangible objects do.

My therapist asked me
If I like you because I like you
Or because you like me
Ironically enough
I knew I liked you
Before we even talked about it
And now as I lay in my bed
I'm daydreaming about blanket forts
And Disney movies
And cuddling in the warmth of our fortress
Although I never know when I'll see you next
I'm always looking forward to it

A clockwork night
Me and the gang out for the old drunkin howl,
The glory of violence oh brothers,
oh bliss.
The beautiful swell of bones breaking on cement
With idle hands the quiver comes quick.
What is a man to do when he craves the ultraviolance.
When the viddy no longer gives such desires with stark clarity.
The old vino runs red, true dear brothers,
but the reddest river streams hot from flesh.
The glory of stripping for the old in out,
then ripping above the screams,
Hear the music,
like the strings above the violin swell.
Sweet Ludwig knows the potency.
The fun my brothers, the thrill
On a night like this, oh bliss
Gitty we walk the edge.

Can’t get my head round the email
“Help me get it right”
“It’s why you do what you do”
“What you do best”
“This will wipe out the opposition”
After much soul searching he took the role
A fugitive who lives with an urban family
An honest story that comments on our times
Or an expensive risk?
It’s a case in point
I could tell you stories you couldn’t print.

A deal was made
Much needed publicity
This one can’t miss
A sure fire winner
Lavishly budgeted?
Almost everything was shot at the ranch....
I Remember the poster in the foyer
“The Goal of the assassin”
“Two ****** hours”
Initially the subject of media ridicule
An eyesore trashed traded or hauled away
Luckily fast forgotten
It died a humiliating death

A complete stranger
Through these rows
In the dimming light of terror
Cat Walks all way and sits with me
I gave her my popcorn and Pepsi
As she crunches my heart pops
As she slurps my brain slumps  
At the end she left wearing a smile
A smile that pens up a love story
The cinema sits down to watch me
I am in the screen no one could touch me
As I Sit in Disney world and lost in dreamland
Until a little girl shouted in her top voice
The end Mr. Bean

Tracy Batman

Give me one reason,
and I’ll turn back around,
almost past The Point of No Return,
and see no point in turning back now,

like Tracy Chapman or Bruce Wayne Batman,
or Tracy Morgan or Morgan The Captain,

or better yet a Spacey Captain or a spacey Batman,
just not a Kevin Spacey because we all know what happened,
oh no no fake strangers only straight facts fam,
you see I see the whole thing through I’m not a flash in the pan scam,

I’m beginning till end from lights camera action to it’s a wrap man,

gone till November,
leaving on a jet plane to Denver,
more Tracy Chapman than Tracy Morgan,
more Jon Wayne than Jon Denver,

more Honcho than Jon Doe,
more Pronto than Macho,
more Brando than Tonto,
full throttle no point in turning back now,

wow,

only time I feel alive is when I almost die,
we do like vroom vroom we do we don’t try,
no need to try to live that life when you really live that life,
why sail the high seas when you can reach Heaven and fly,

living The Life of Lives,
living the Dream of Dreams,
and you’re looking at me,
like “What do you mean?”,

I mean,
for real,
for really real,
how do you really feel?

It’s 2018,
and this feels like a Sci-Fi flic,
one where we’re an Army of One,
about to deploy and I feel sick,

see every Moon has it’s dark side,
every man has something to hide,
like Nazis with a secret base on the moon,
in a film from 2012 set in 2018 entitled Iron Sky,

but instead of Pink Floyd everything’s Purple Noise,
this is the year after the Artist Formally Named Prince finally died,

and cryptos were raised from the dead like a horror story,
Tales From The Crypto or better yet Tales From The Darkside,
saw a drawing at an art exhibit in Phoenix called Sad Pony,
it was sad because it was a unicorn without a horn so the spark had died,

and now he appeared alive,
even though when you look close you see the spark has disappeared from his eyes,

and he knows he has to escape before this city gets the only thing he has left,
which is the Soul he holds dear as he marches through the pain and the fears,
and he’s ready to go already but doesn’t want to leave you behind,
so before he goes he turns on his toes and asks you one thing just to be clear,

“Are you ready to get out of here?”

Give me one reason,
and I’ll turn back around,
almost past The Point of No Return,
and see no point in turning back now,

like Tracy Chapman or Bruce Wayne Batman,
gone till November leaving on a jet plane to Denver,
more Tracy Chapman than Tracy Morgan,
more Jon Wayne than Jon Denver,

more Honcho than Jon Doe,
more Pronto than Macho,
more Brando than Tonto,
full throttle no point in turning back now…

∆ LaLux ∆

2/5/18