Yes, I'm hurting.

Yes, It hurts.

You took my sadness and carved a knife.
You took my sorrow and made a blade.
Pushing it into my chest,
I watched you as you plunged it in.
Breaking bones along the way.

As you twisted it deeper;
You smiled.
That beautiful smile,
How could I hate you?
You're everything.

You took my happiness and created life.
You took my laughter and designed a future.
All while the knife was still there,
And you looked at me.
With those beautiful eyes.
How could I hate you?
You're everything.

I bled red love for you,
Yet, this wound still stings.
I bled purple jealousy too.
Yet, you do these things.
I bled yellow hope for you.
Yet, the pain grows.
I bled pink passion too.
Yet, my feelings you dispose.

As you pull the knife out,
Satisfied with your workmanship,
The blade is covered in blood.

You laugh, amused even,
It's your favorite color.

I bleed orange for you.
Just to please you one last time.

I lean on you;
You need me;
We’re in debt to each other.
It’s simple, you see.

You work hard
And bring home the bread;
Without you, I’d starve
In my solitary bed.

You live in our home
Like a worker drone;
Without me you’d freeze
And be all alone.

Without you, I’d starve
Or live in privation,
We’re the lone citizens
In a private nation.

Though we never make love,
And rarely touch.
We must stay together;
For the world is too much.

Year after year,
We’re apart yet near.
No one dares rock the boat;
We’re so precariously afloat.

We could languish like this until we die;
We seem quite normal to the untrained eye.
And apart yet together, we could stay,
Until the tides of time just wash us away.

Finished on January 3, 2011

Scattered across my bedroom floor,
glimmers of light staccato on wilted rose pedals

Memories of us, 
the faintest slapback of the person I was with you,
flicker with lethargic buoyancy 

Fondness for fondness sake,
denial as a delicacy

Your face, obscured in these floral polaroids
Impressions of who you were;
what you meant to me,
a struggle to behold
but recognizable in ripples across the faces of others

Remains of an entanglement that seemed to answer
why the universe was even formed to begin with

This omnipresent truth laying abed the other
jagged reality of our affair;
it was never you,
it was my self-possessing pursuit of wholeness

He still hears her voice like sweet melodies on a lake
Her name comes up, and he realizes
He never stopped loving her, he just took a break
He pauses, thinks then fantasizes

Her love pierced like an arrow,
Love so brash, he craved some intimacy
You see he was far too deep , but her love was shallow
Painfully amazing how he was stuck in a fallacy

Call him a prisoner of her love
How did she capture him to not call her bluff ?
It’s hard to comprehend; hard to solve
But he’d always say, “she had me in her cuff
I breathe and let go today
Tomorrow I’m still stuck like yesterday”

-Dyn

Perhaps he’d write about his heroine ?
The one he sketches in his stories
Split between being a spectator, or a participant
His mind is dark, void of sentiment
Is that a lie he tells himself ?
May be or may be not


A loveless soul he says, yet his heart seems to yearn for affection
Mouth saying something, but
Expression and actions betray thy lips
What made you so cold ?
Why do you feel so undeserving?
You’re perplexed because even you can’t answer this


Slowly he builds a monster he seems unable to tame
Briskly this costume he has designed fits to skin perfectly
A villain he has become ; this time it isn’t fiction
Would his heroine become a reality?
Do I really need heroine in this story, he says
May be or may be not

The only thing that scares me most is the sunrise.
The moment I see daylight spreading over houses and trees, all my fears become alive.
The fear of people seeing the pain of lost love in my eyes.
The fear that someday my smile will no longer be able to hide the anguish of broken heart.
The fear of breaking down in front of a crowd.
The fear of loving and getting attached.
The fear of unrequited love scares me.
The darkness of night hides all my fears in my eyes that nobody can see.

#15

She sits in her room
Beside her lonely loom
And dreams of times of grace
And suitors come to her place.
But no one has come here,
So she sings the songs
Of being alone too long.

None will come so near
That she needs to flirt.
Instead she gathers her hurt
And weaves it into tapestries
Of such stunning majesty
That only she will applaud,
Because there is no god
That will transform her to be
A lady of famous beauty.

She never has known why
She was born forbiddingly shy.
She fears to speak and convince,
Always she is prone to wince
Instead of smiling and inviting.
Her lovely pale face whitening
With dread she cannot speak
And that makes her feel weak.

The sun rises and it sets
She has nothing to regret
Or to remember gladly
But sadly she has grown
Comfortable being alone
Since  the pain is remembered
And she never delivered
From the roaring noise
Of life without love’s joys.

I dreamt of thy love in its faintest chances,
Showering from the ninth cloud of reverie.
When I stood the test for my affections,
't was a fool's confession of true love:
For I remained ever a lovelorn dame.
Didn't my eyes sparkle right?
Or the curves on my hip, not enough?
Did my words fall short of my love for thee?
Or my bearings in public a little rough?
Democratic are thine associations in flesh,
Deriving pleasure out of mindless affairs.
Whilst I am ascribed the proverbial taint,
I remain the sinner and thee ever a saint.