We made hearts from rocks on the shore of our favorite lake
I made love to you while we painted our front room
We spent endless amounts of time kissing in the forest
I kissed your neck lovingly and often
We cooked dinner together, there was so much pasta
We spent a lot of time waking up together, but not a lot of time sleeping
We had a fluffy white cat and a white front door
Our little house in the woods was home
I was cold and you were warm
We drank too much whiskey and ***** straight from the bottle
You used to get jealous
Your fingers were always in my hair or on my hips
I spent a thousand hours laying on your chest
I waited for you
Christmas was our season
You love lemon bars
I wore your sweatshirts
In my mind you will always be in Boston
The snow outside our house was always icy, it crunched under our feet
We never got to finish anything we started
You drove a nice car
I used to trace hearts on your chest with my fingertips
You used to give speeches about how much you loved me
I reminded you of sunshine
You smelled like home
I died every moment without you
We don't speak of Jon
I still think of you first when I think of wolves
You called me Alice
I wanted nothing more than to be her
You strayed from me once
You would try to leave when you got angry
I looked up at you from under my lashes
I liked to kiss you softly
You held me tight, like I was slipping away
We started smoking around the same time
You were my escape
I was yours
We spent most of our time together at night or on the weekends
Holidays were our days
You left but I always waited for you
Your smile was always woofish, but you were always petting my hair
You wanted to talk about kids
I wanted you to come home
You offered me the chance at the life we'd built
You told me the truth once and it was always there in the back of my mind
Even though our world was make believe, it was real to me
This year would mark 9 years
I miss you every single day
I don't know how to escape all the feelings I have for you
You're not what I pictured, but you're so beautiful
Who we are fits together
I was the one running for a little while
I have no way to reach you now
You won't let me buy the pieces of art that you create now, painting instead of helping me make worlds out of nothing
You broke my heart again not too long ago
Because I can't reach you to let you know that I love you, Jenny
Even though You Lied, Love

I swallow hard
I can see it move down my throat
The slender curve of my neck scarred
The memory fights to stay afloat
It claws it's way back up and in.
It's scent tearing at my skin.
For a moment I hate her.
The girl standing before me,
I hate her for giving up,
I hate her for giving in
I hate her for not being stronger
For letting her weakness win.
But I can't keep breaking mirrors,
and hating reflections.  
No good can come from hating what others have done.
She fought, she screamed, and cried.
I f**king tried.
I can't be a slave to yesterday and my thickening pride.
I followed a dream over the horizon.
Swam in the dark side of the moon.
Felt pleasure, love, and freedom on the other side of that dune.
But I only hold the reins to myself
I cannot control them, or him.
It's just me, overflowing, and full to the brim.
Then she stands tall, her slender neck strong, a deep breath drawn.
And strength brings color back to her cheeks.
The hatred, and memories gone, placed firmly in the past.
And I recognize myself again at last.

I trusted you
I believed that you had my back
thinking about it now
there was none of that

I was yours and one day
you left me
you lied
and you hurt me more
than I ever knew you could

I don't know why
and I don't care
because nothing could fix
the bond we shared

She was amazing.
And I knew she loved me.
But was that all I needed?
When she lied to me.

blood.

so much blood leaked into
my eyes
as you took apart the
pieces in my head.

i don't know when it started:
but i was four, maybe
five,
the first time i remember
you taking a big chunk out of me:

i was sweet, rosy red,
and stuffed in a dress,
and you were black,
a pale shadow in
dark clothing as you grabbed
my legs when i tried to run....

and did again,
every night
from then on out.

i was
seated on a couch each time,
and
i felt as though
my eye bags
touched the floor
every second and all i really
wanted
was for you not to be angry...

i hate that stupid couch.
i lied so many times.

You lied, love
In two years I will have known you
For half of my short life
I wanted to spend the rest of it with you
Give you my part of this world
Sleep on your chest
Hold your hand in grocery stores
Take your picture in the afternoon sunlight
Drink coffee with you too late in the evenings
So I could stay up with you all night
You could've picked the colour of our front room
Helped me drip paint all over the floor
I gave myself to you
In the quietest ways
I thought of you to fall asleep
Looked for you when I woke up
I waited endlessly for you to arrive
To come back
For something, anything to show that you hadn't disappeared
I mourned for you
Cried real years at the loss of our imaginary world
I've wished you eight Merry Christmas's
Carried you with me into the New Year
Missed you for more minutes than I've loved you
But for what?
I've got nothing to show
You're starting a new life
And so am I
Me with him
You with her
We could've had it together
But
You lied, love

You told me you'll be real,
You told me you're here to heal,

You told me you'll never lie,
You told me the truth is you're mine,
Its a lie.

You told me you'll always be by my side,
You told me not to fear anything, you told me you're with me in this ride,
You lied.