here you are
farther to my touch,
closer to my heart;
bridging gaps between
my heady desires and,
sanity and sensibility.

here I am
lost in your thoughts
and words,
dreaming about a hundred
springs and summers
that await us.

here you are
looking into my eyes
asking questions and
seeking answers; listening
intently to all the quiet
sighs and loud silences.

here I am
showing you the way
around and letting you
through the walls I've
built  without fears or
inhibitions of any sort.

here we are
brought together by
the distance but aren't
sure of treading the
paths we've never
been on before.

here we are
writing happy little
stories in sand until
the impending wave of
doom and despair crashes
into the castles of our future.

and here we will be
hiding behind
those tiniest of smiles
that keep lingering on
our lips which have always
reluctantly said goodbye.

On nothing day
I talk to myself
And know myself
Better than I will tomorrow
Better tonight
Amongst a lifetime of clutter
Between childhood diaries
And what could be a clover field, in a dream,
where everything was the same but better
Like it is when I write it down
On soft paper, cream with a pressed flower
Folded in the seam.
Of course, I have never written on this soft paper,
And tonight, on nothing day,
I type with tired, uneasy fingers
On a screen too bright for midnight eyes.
And yet in all the nastiness and stickiness
The imperfections, oddities
The house spider webs,
Crooked paintings,
******* ants, crawling up my legs
Here, in nothing day,
I somehow know myself better
Than I will tomorrow.

It broke into my fantasies, crushing my daydreams. Making my longing break into an ever higher pace whilst the rug was pulled from under my feet. Facedown, sweat and tears, blood and pieces. Tasting the rock bottom, falling from the clouds. Breaking my bones, my connection to you, making me blind.

It really did break my heart, seeing you two.

Broke it in a non-refundable kind of way, a permanent way. Broke the pieces I'd left of you, for you, saved, so that we could one day return.

Funny how pretty everything looks,
Soaked in over saturated colours.
I’ve been stuck in this room for months, I’ve been stuck in this skull for too long to care.
Four walls, whether paint plastered and polished.
Four walls meet my eyes.
I wish I could sew my eyes shut, only see what I imagine.
I can hear the cars becoming less constant outside, even the cats are sleeping now.
These lights are too bright for me.

I wish I could turn myself off.

tired eyes, those long nights
drinking mint tea like alcohol
whispering to myself in a soft drawl
as the frigid september air bites

my lids grow heavy as hours pass
staring at my screen for answers
words jump around like dancers
my vision becomes milky glass

as I lift my head to the dawn
my hands still across the keys
and I can finally feel at ease
now the night shadows are gone

You can't imagine
How glad I am
For every single meter
Walked with you

And

You won't be able to imagine
How I feel sorry
That
Early or late
Our
Paths
Will be divided...