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  Dec 2020 lilac
Courtney O
can you see me?
in front of you
i don't dare to speak
but can you feel
my silent rebellion seep?
if you won't be here
I want you to
at least not interfere
lilac Nov 2020
the sky flourished with blue,
whistling winds intertwining with clouds,
threading through the paleness,
sitting there capturing the light embrace of yours.
an attempt to try to make it look somewhat like a cloud.
lilac Nov 2020

it's your fault people are worried about me,

no, it's my fault, i asked,
but you answered,

the wrong answer,

not even a proper answer,

i feel so toxic, ***** in a way,

i miss you, i miss us,

i want to cry again,
im tired of holding it in,

it hurts
lilac Nov 2020
i listen and help all the time,
i struggle to find solutions to problems that aren't even mine,

i hug and i comfort them,
i make those who feel like crumpled pieces of paper smooth again,

i laugh and i make them smile,
i make people smile and make their work feel worthwhile,

i keep my accomplishments hidden,
i make them feel special, talented, many compliments given,

i don't share my own problems,
i make other people not have to worry about me, let them blossom,
why is it that i can't seem to be selfish?
i can't seem to tell or share, it makes me feel like i'm attention seeking.
lilac Nov 2020
late night drives,
cold, warm,
wet, dry,
safe, happy,
alone together,

late night drives,
music loud,
laughing, love,
rain falls,
feelings felt,

late night drives,
gotten later,
colder, darker,
so much darker,
now, everything's gone.
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