I wasn't always this way,
My face used to be brighter,
Somehow somewhere along these last four years,
I've began to withdraw,
Not only from people but from myself.

To be honest my emotional ailment was improving,
And you came along on a night I will never forget,
Spontaneous beginnings that's how they always arise,
You were everything I wanted,
You appeared so genuine, so gracious and amazingly tender.

Too good it was,
I was ready I spilled my heart and soul to you,
That fateful day you deceived me,
Our story is too sad for words,

Bottom line,
I thought you cared,
and everytime your name pops up,
My heart flutters for a moment hoping,
You want me again, but then, reality settles back in.
The sad truth is my heart yearns for you.......still.

We have to keep silent                                                                                              Simply because we're not allowed to talk ...                                                           Our thoughts have got turned into                                                                         Tiny ones                                                                                                                    Simply because that's it ...                                                                                            Our pretty words have become abbreviated                                                           For many reasons ...                                                                                                  To be is not allowed anymore                                                                                    Simply because to be not has got replaced by it ...                                                     We have got cornered                                                                                             Anywhere and everywhere ...                                                                               _____________________

I like sitting on my rooftop, in a city that the one over finds
degraded and blue-collar. Its quiet and the sun heats the
tar- a soft lullaby on the bottom of a pair of feet that traverse
a life I’m always trying to get closer to.

I like things like ginger ale and lemonade; faded colors
& antiques. The belief that people still listen to vinyl
and care about our founding fathers. That they
still hand write love notes to themselves as much as for
Another.

People okay with the company
of an occasional fruit fly and a toasted bagel with butter
and honey alongside a sweet peach iced tea, sweating from the
thought of summer’s
sin.

I like sky lights & well-lit rooms; shadows permitted the freedom
to dance across exposed brick and structures
incapable of forgetting the daily histories of all their inhabitants.

My passwords are always about the planets or Greek mythology;
(I rotate).

Because I need a daily dose of the cosmos & humanity’s
attempt to better understand its purpose on this solitary fleck of dust.

I tend to bleed my existence through learning history and maintaining eye-
contact. Weekends are where people smile and emerge from their
carefully soaked-in showers, feeling clean and comforted by the silence
of a fogged mirror.

I like sentimental movie trailer music and bathtub tunes - whatever
can put to rest the parts of society that demandingly vibrate within me

(I leave).
my front door open because I appreciate individual curiosity
and creating an invitation for people to look in and see how very
much we are all alike. Needy and wanting to watch for signs of life
in others.

I like people who can carry sorrow in their back pockets & yet
**still offer to
pay for your check.

There are times when I just want to destroy myself and cease to exist, but ******* it I just can't do it, because one day you might love me.
And one day I may not see that crooked smile you have when you laugh or feel how your hand rests on my thigh when we're together. One of the best nights of my life was when you cuddled my thighs and told me about how afraid you were of waking up without love for the person you shared your bed with.

And as much as I loathe myself or depreciate who I am as a person, nothing to me would be as cruel, than to take you away from me. Because when I'm at work smoking my last cigarette of my shift and you ask me how my day was, I've never felt so genuinely content in my life, knowing that someone like you cares about me.

I don't have a perfect family
that'll welcome you with open arms.
But I have someone like a sister,
and while she's like me in that we're flawed,
she will love you like a brother,
because she knows I love you as a lover.

I don't have a perfect body
that is sculpted and chiseled with athleticism.
But I have curves that will give you comfort
in the coldest nights and sorrow,
I can fit into you like a jigsaw puzzle,
you'll take apart and put together again.

I don't have a perfect salary,
free of loans and debts, and money promises.
But I have the ethic to work hard
to pay it off, and be able to go see
these incredible experiences you give to me.
They are so worth it.

I don't have the cleanest past,
free of toxic people and bad decisions.
But I have my present so pristine,
and I do everything to make sure
I'm on the right track for us,
for me.

I don't have complete understanding,
of how to handle our problems together.
But I have the passion to learn, grow and try.
I wont let our optimism die,
even though the instructions
might be complicated.

I don't have a complete grip on who I really am-
*but I do have the confirmation
that I am something really special.

Do unto others
As they have ****** you

All I have to give
Are words
All I have
Are my thoughts
Yet heaven knows
that they won't last for ever
For love just doesn't seem fair
And my memory fails
So I must let my fingers dance over this keys
And let them speak for me
For all I have to give are words.