There are times when I just want to destroy myself and cease to exist, but ******* it I just can't do it, because one day you might love me. And one day I may not see that crooked smile you have when you laugh or feel how your hand rests on my thigh when we're together. One of the best nights of my life was when you cuddled my thighs and told me about how afraid you were of waking up without love for the person you shared your bed with.
And as much as I loathe myself or depreciate who I am as a person, nothing to me would be as cruel, than to take you away from me. Because when I'm at work smoking my last cigarette of my shift and you ask me how my day was, I've never felt so genuinely content in my life, knowing that someone like you cares about me.