I'm sick and ******* tired
of scraping my pride
down to the bone,
asking for helping,
and hearing nothing.
my life has fallen apart
in three months
after years of beating back
against my tears and indecision.
those that want to, can't.
those that can don't want to.
the fire in my throat isn't half
as searing as the hatred i feel
for the South African tech genius,
searching for waste,
and the ones that failed us.
i carry this molten stress in me,
and i want the worst to happen
to those living their lives everyday
without worry about rent
or food or their car's
impending repossession.


this isn't even a poem anymore,
it's a cry for help.

You got just what you want,
And that's what makes it wrong.
Who am I? Someone that you just barely know,
Believe me you will never ever know.
Oh, I loved and hated at the same time,
You and I were the cracks that matched, but even us shattered with time.
Fell in love, broken into the pieces we will never know.

Without you,
Neither night nor day, no moon nor a single star.
Can guide me to your heart.
I'm lost in the dark.
Missing you every night.
If I got you right,
You will be mine only when we're far apart.

Sometimes it feels off,
Wasn't supposed to end us both.
Getting cold in your shadow
Letting myself cool off.
Angry to us both,
But there's no need for more.

With the best version of you,
In another universe.

i miss the comfort of her warmth
i hate how avoidant she is
i miss her kisses on my skin
i hate how she lies to me
i miss how loved she made me feel
i hate the secrets she keeps from me
i miss how she looked at me with her beautiful eyes
i hate how she avoids eye contact now
i miss her laugh
i hate how i believed her even though i knew she lost feelings
i miss her affection
i hate how she doesnt try to keep me in her life
i miss the time we spent together talking about our future
i hate how easily she replaced me
i miss her touch
i hate her attitude towards me
i miss how perfect she was
i hate how she gave up on us
i miss her love
i hate her how cold she is towards me
i miss her love poems
i hate the was she makes me feel now
i miss how we cried together
i hate how she doesnt understand me
i miss the promises she made
i hate how she didnt keep them
i miss her scent
i hate how she doesnt love me anymore
i miss how excited she was to see me
i hate how sick i feel without her
i miss when she told me about her day
i hate how stupid i feel for believing we were going to last forever
i miss how special she made our love feel
i hate how much i trusted her
i miss how i felt like i was made for her
i hate that she made me believe that
i miss how much i smiled because of her
i hate seeing her frowny smile at me
i miss our spark
i hate how easily it disappeared

So your sitting there talking on the phone
but in your statement your standing all alone

You can’t play the game of a one time mistake
you’ve done it before, so we know it’s all fake

A defense against an attack never made
you were the one who started the charade

To pin the blame on those that you hurt
put all those around on heightened alert

A stalker, a hater, a bully and the like
the names you called, putting a friendship on strike

But it never seems to be that you think it through
cuz every single one only applied to you

A social commentary



Please stop shooting

Please stop shooting me

Please stop shooting us---

Bullets flying everywhere

Killing others like they don’t care,

Even when you’re in they are or not in the cross hairs

Of an enemy that don’t care or swear

To get rid of us all

Once and for all.



If you’re black you die!

If you’re brown, you die!

If you’re gay you die!



One by one they die,

Be prepare to meet your maker, why

Because we don’t want you here.



On the streets runs red blood

To every person in my neighborhood

Plain and simple you don’t belong here!



Here’s my gun in hand

Ready to **** everyone from my land---

You don’t belong here.




Hate spills out on the streets,

To every person we do meet---

You mean nothing to me!



The hell with your religion and such,

The hell with you because of how I hate so much

The sight of you so I **** them all!



This my gun my oath to ****

Die if you must but still

I don’t want you here!



This is hate heard out loud

From with guns shooting proud,

Because you don’t belong here!



This is my gun my sworn duty

To **** as much and as many,

Simply you don’t belong here!



They killed Malcolm X and Dr. King

Because they wanted the same thing,

And you have no right here



Too many of you cluttering up my space,  

Too many of you taking away from us this human race,

Because you don’t belong here!



This is my gun my creed

To get rid of people like you with speed,

And don’t belong here!



The lies you tell of our children in school

The lies and breaking of rules---

Because you don’t belong here!



Your skin is too dark for me

Only my whiteness can set me free

Because you don’t belong here!



Please don’t shoot

Please don’t shoot me!

Please don’t shoot us

At the end one by the graves of those died!



One by one of those dying while bullets fly,

Flying all over the place

Killing every soul and sweet little face

And they don’t care.



The voices echoed in the air,

Of those who died while death don’t play no favorites or play fair,

Defining God in His face

How dear them!



Please stop shooting me

Please stop shooting

Please stop

Please...

Silence.



June 2020

Where's the trust?
Where's some loyalty?

What did they do with the respect
that came with shared courage,
with the common courtesy that competed
so well with the tired and bitter?

When did the fear win?
When did suspicion succeed
in dividing us? When did we fall?
And how long can we wait?

How long will we wait
for our disquiet
to override our distrust?
To make us love again.

And what if we don't?
What if it never happens?
What if we never forget to lock the door?
What if this is as good as it gets?

But what if we do?
What if we get to try again?

We’d go for a 4 in the morning walk.
We'd pick up some warm rolls,
And I wouldn't worry about the cracks.

You say I have an attitude
'Cause I don't mingle a lot?
Sweetie, you need a wording check —
That's called being left out.

Even if I preferred the space,
It doesn't make me an egoist.
There's a term called "introverts" —
Do add it to your vocab list.

People like you destroy innocent souls,
All for the need of your own
Self-satisfactory goals.

People like you don't deserve praise —
Instead, y’all need dents on your face.
For luring us into your sweet-scented trap,
Expecting joy — all we got was crap.

I curse at you loud in my head,
But when it comes to words,
It just can't be said.

And now I'm trapped in your sorcery,
With nowhere to go.
It just keeps repeating —
The seed's been sown.