I do not claim to be innocent, I do not claim to be guilty.
I am only human, Sadly that is all that I am.
How we always long for more.
For a strange story to tell, but we follow the laws of man.
I was not asking for mercy by you hand.
My hand does not always dispense mercy.  ... I am but a man.

My eyes are on the screen,
but my mind is on your hand,
lying pensively on the arm rest,
the screen's flashes dancing upon its frame--

Exposing the space between fingers I'm dying to cease.

Your hand lies there like a puzzle piece--
My heart races and fingers twitch
as my mind interlocks them with yours
to complete an image of grace,
one I've fantasized for nights on end.

Your eyes are set forward as mine,
I cannot even fathom what lies behind
this silent countenance of beauty.

How wholly engrossed are you in this movie,
are you tormented same as I?

As far as I'm concerned,
we are the only ones in this theater.

The popcorn in my lap,
the soda in the cup holder between us,
moments where our fingers touch
then retreat--
All without our eyes ever leaving the screen,
peripheral fantasies.

But that's where my intentions lie,
your hand dancing with mine
in the corner of my eyes
and the forefront of my mind.

How you weave through the popcorn,
your hand bumping against mine like an atom,
plucking the greasy morsel
and tossing it into your mouth--

What if our fingers lingered?

The soda our lips shared at separate times,
a middle-man between a kiss
I could only dream of.

These transient ecstasies
that pale in comparison
to the real thing.

But I'll take it,
in these peripheral games we play
in a darkened movie theater
on a Tuesday night.

Matinee screening,
our parents waiting impatiently in the parking lot outside,
nearing the end of the movie,
I've yet focused your hand in the frame--
These peripheral games.

I know that I over think every possible situation and analyze everything before finally making a decision but please don't tell me to "relax".

My future is in my hand right out in front of me, I keep holding it up no matter how tired my arm gets because I am determined.
I am so determined to make something of it and then you just tell me to drop it.
"Relax"

Telling me to relax is like telling me to drop my future, like I can just pick it up off of the floor when it is time for me to do something with it.
Like I can just start from where I left off.
No.

Relaxing is like dropping my future and just when it is time for me to get it started, it is already ruined because I broke it when I "relaxed".

I have come so far from not knowing what I wanted to do with my life and where I want to go and who I want to be so NO I am not going to "relax".

I am not going to let go of all the progress I have made just so I can not be ready when I have to fend for myself.
I am going to be ready.

I will relax when I succeed.

He held her hand all the night
She clenched his' tight
As fears of his parting surmounted her thoughts.

Not a word they spoke,
For feelings have surpassed the words.
Together, they wished to stop the time..
If only this night could stand still..

But it was inevitable,
Dusk faded away, eclipsed by the dawn
And the words have come..
Out of him with great pain

"Have to go now", he said.

Not a word she has said
Like a mannequin, she stared.
A moment passed in silence
And then two.

His eyes couldn't meet hers
For he knew he would not be able to go
If only he looked at her eyes..
Her eyes spoke for her.

Those moments in silence,
And he felt the moist warmth on his hand..
The warmth of the teardrop that left her eye,
For him.

With great reluctance, she left his hand
'Go', she said and the only word she could say indeed.
Painfully mellow was her voice.
For she knew that she couldn't stop him..
If only she could wish.

He wished, yet he couldn't stay
For her well-being in his absence, he prayed.

'I will soon be back' he said.

Hope floated in their hearts
That grim times will fade away
Good times will be back there

It' all just a matter of time.

in your room all alone
curled up in a ball
rocking back and forth
telling yourself there's nothing wrong

But then there's a noise
As your closet door creaks open
you rock a little faster
not seeing this hand that is coming

slowly creeping on the bed
pulling your blanks down
the hand is getting closer
now your freaking out

you jump off the bed but stumble
falling face first on the floor
the hand gets down it gabs your leg
it pulls you to the closet door
you start to wake up and scream

before the your pulled in
as the closet shuts it doors
you punch you scream
you claw at the door
as the hand pulls you in further

crying and scared
pulled down a flight of stairs
you are sat up on a chair
the hand it moves away

but something else comes forward
it tries to sneak up toward you
then covers your eyes with it's hands
still crying in fear you ask to be spared
then hear a strange voice

a light gets turned on
your hear somebody stand in front
as the hands move away from you eyes
you see your brothers standing there
laughing at how much you got scared
lowering your head you feel ashamed

your brothers were wrong
they should not have done this to you at all
thanks to them you'll never look at them the same
when then unbound you you walk away
back the way you came

opening the door you came in before
no longer the same person anymore
your brothers have taken your pride
broken you inside
changed the course of the rest of your life

Fogged-up glass
Rain drops
Blood drops
Spattering,
****** handprint
Streaking down like the rain

Imaging flashing into my head
I need to turn this into a proper poem

Last night was the first time we got drunk,
the first time your hand glides down my arms,
fingers lace with mine, palm kissing.
The first time you put your head on my shoulder,
not because you're sleepy nor tipsy,
but because you want to be closer to me.
And the first time I heard you breathe on my neck,
god I was hooked! that deep calm sound
and the warmth of it quivers within.
I'd drink forever if it meant you'd never stop.