I can only carry these thoughts
as far as the wind will blow
Even when I lay me down
they’ll dictate where I go
Beside a tree I find my rest
only to rise when they’d say so
Beneath its branch I sow a thought
like leaves I watch it grow

By a river I make my bed
where my thinking freely flows
like rushing water, runs my head
my thoughts ebb and flow
Near the fire I watch the flames
I light my thoughts aglow
they’ll burn tomorrow new desires
I have no strength to say ‘no’

730 days of ambiguity,
Searching your soul,
Finding a cracked China doll,
Fragile, yet beautiful,
With a tragic past.

That one holiday in New London,
A mere ride on the Ferry away,
But we took the long way,
Simply to have more time.
More time, how I wish… we had it.

Our excitement as bold,
As our love for each other then,
You watched that Mohegan Sun rise,
Through that gaping window, overlooking the lake,
As you studied my sleep.

A holiday festivity,
Experiencing Siberian music,
In this Native American palace,
Dining like royalty,
And smiling in harmony.

730 days of highs and lows,
Despite how it all ended, and it did end,
That one, quaint little memory,
Reminds me of one simple thing,
We’ll always have Mohegan Sun

the palette of the sky wanders
from crimson to dandelion
the waters dance by the shore
the wind sways the verdant
and hums with the breathing

it is a wondrous kiss of view
that comforts and cradles
something that we
always miss

that we are always desperate
to see, to feel
to breathe in, to keep
we click to capture it still
to yield a frame that moves
and holds life of infinite

i am filled with awe
every time i look at it,
it is heavenly—

yet we rather ruin her innate
comfort and cradling mount
to get pieces that are dull
and mundane

yet we prefer destroying
the green that shades
and shelters
to earn the green paper
so to use it later to savor
the serendipity only she can bear

beach life by the sea
early morning getaway
~ castles in the sand




Mark Toney © 2021

If I get lost riding a train of thought,
Please don't come looking for me.
I won't want to be found.
And if you see me struggle to swim
In a sea of words, it's okay.
Let me drown.
Here and now, I promise
I'll come back to you someday.
But for now, I need to get away.

There’s a highway to happiness
Beyond my sorrow
I have found a path to heaven

I fill my veins with drugs
Every night
A different sort of narcotic
A subtle smile

For a while it gets better
For a while I look pretty
And the world seems beautiful

Until it passes, leaving me drained
Gushing out of my body
Pulling me back into cruel reality

A dangerous place where
I am not who I am
I walk a different path
I say nothing I feel
Real, yet so unreal

So I tell you I am doing alright
Doing drugs all night
Washing away my scars
1 a.m showers, sounds bizarre
But
Isn’t, if you’re me
If you could, only see

Starry when the night began, we ran ran ran
along running water young enough to have no trace of age.
Alice strung out floating like the prettiest diamond
imaginable.

Kindly petting cheek then struck like a thunderous match,
her face glowed a sinking white-- a face made of candles
lit beneath plaque eye sockets, wildly staring blackness,
lips built on an unfamiliar shade of red,
Flaxen hair that sliced along gemstone irises;

I love love love you. Please, stay a while longer, long
enough to feel like forever-- although I know such is impossible--
Look at those seagulls feeding rain to the distant waves,
Wings soon to be scrambling overhead, let me read you a book
about a girl whom you were probably named after.

I will sing a lullaby and hold hold hold you in it for
as long as I can.