I went hiking up a mountain,
I couldn't tell you where it was, I was hopelessly lost,
My compass was broken, my backpack was heavy and my legs were tired of walking,
I couldn't stop for fear that I would never find my way backwards or forwards,
I couldn't stop, the fear of suspended animation was too great,
Then I saw a man, sitting at the edge of a cliff,
I couldn't decide if he was lost or if he was just suicidal.
I was taught not to talk to strangers,
Be a good girl, don't tell everyone everything, keep your secrets, keep your pain, always smile, don't let them see who you really are.
I ventured a timid hello, and he turned around and smiled like he'd known me forever.
I couldn't help but smile back and put my backpack down for a little while,
My shoulders were aching from all the weight I was carrying,
We didn't talk much, we just sat there, staring ahead, each lost in their own thoughts,
I couldn't tell you how long we sat there.
My watch was broken you see and time seemed like it didn't matter,
I had no hope of ever going back to where I'd come from,
I had no way of knowing if I'd ever find my destination,
The fear was back and as I stood up to leave, he didn't stop me,
But, just looked at me with kindness and asked me to leave my backpack behind,
'It's too heavy a burden for you to carry', he said, 'you don't need it where you're going.'
'Where am I going?', I asked
'You'll know when you get there', he replied before turning away,
So I left my backpack behind and I walked on,
Faith was all I had and for the moment that was enough.

I may have finally
run out of words
to describe the feeling
of continuously finding my way back
to a person
I never seem to lose

I know
That in some unknown woods
I will find my long lost footsteps,
And in the ruins of a forgotten castle, my dreams
My song, in the gurgling waters of a hidden stream
And my poetry, in the rustling leaves of a ****** forest

For many,
the first skims the cream off naivety
perhaps too swiftly.
It's frantic.
Filled with awkward urgency
to reach a milestone.
So it goes
For-evermore.
Hardly a chance to savour its parting
Too green to fathom the sway of regret.

The second spars for individuality.
Experimentation, Development
experience.
Other boxes ticked.
Lessons learned.
Rawness verses prowess
'till one bows out exhausted
and the other learns,
eventually,
how to recover
and strengthen.

Hardened,
the third treads carefully.
Logic and wisdom
balancing with basic needs.
It is more selfish
and yet, more generous.
A slow exposure.
Relaxed standards
yet, heightened self-respect.
Honesty and acceptance.
A comfortable settlement of equality.
If it does or does not last
it will be the last
either way
for many.