And I want to tell her that I understand what it feels like to be fake, insignificant, and a shadow on the sidewalk of society.
And I want to tell her that I also borrow the experiences of others -- that I, too, learn feelings by stopping and staring at personal wreckage, like a tourist of emotions, like an inevitable wish of a human being.
"I want to be a poet. That's the only thing I really want. I want to find my own way of writing, my own style. I know I haven't yet, but I am striving to do so. How should I put it? It's very hard to explain.
I want to write in a way that they writing is me- is myself. I want to write so that what I write and the way I write is me, because of the choice of words and the arrangement of the words, the way I combine them, group them together, orchestrate them. For me words are music as well as- as much as- they are meanings. Writing is different from talk."