I've never felt so useless; I'm so used to being used. Am I just being thrown and tossed around like an abused piece of news?
Old news is that what I am? I remember hard times before when you couldn't I'd always rise and take a stand.
Seems to quickly we, as people, forget how to be a friends; tempers flaring, words daring then hours later waiting to make amends.
While my feelings are hurt, And your basically floored, this whole time we both feel like we're being ignored.
Our fights they're terrible I can admit that, I can also admit our friend ship isn't half bad.
Actually I like you most, you just don't see... Have I ever kept anyone for that long around me? The people in that category I can only name about three.
honestly I can say that most of the problem is with in myself, I really can't tell when it's real so I always have with held.
With held the extent in which my friendships go, when ever I hit the road. It's always been alone.
With hold my feelings because I'm scared they're wrong, **** I even with hold the name of my favorite song.
I've been told before I'm easy to love but hard to know, I'm just so used to being overlooked that I thought people would really careless to know.
I'm scared I'm not enough and that I will never suceed. I'm scared to love and then in it bleed.
There's apart of me that feels like I'm trapped in my own little realm, and I'm so far gone no one cares to help.
So I shut my self down and the ones that I love, but not because it I'm above, it's more because I feel I'll never be enough.
I set outrageously high expectations,
So that I can't commit to any kind of relations. It's just easier like that, dealing with me is no mental vacation.
I've told you I knew the problem was me, don't ever for a second think I'm too blind to see.
I know I'm a monster and act like I don't care, I just know that even though everyone says it, they won't always be there.
It's not that I feel you won't, I just know what it's like and I've lost all hope.
So then I **** up on purpose cuz I'm a ***** and I'm scared. Ironically you're still always around the corner... Just there.
Waiting for what, I really don't know,
But I won't ever be different, I just don't know how to go with the flow.
And for all those reasons that's why I'm alone, I'm just grateful you haven't gone.
I don't wanna fuss, dont wanna fight, just wanna make sure you my friend are at home and are ready to smoke a blunt tonight.
All my insecurities are giving me a headache, so I puff on the blunt to watch them vacate
They disappear like the clouds of smoke I exhale, turn the music real loud and think of something random like retail.
& just disappear even if it's for a second,
I know I'm terrible I told you I'd admit it.
Of course the insecurities always come back, but I'm really trying here please just help me and cut me some slack.
