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will Apr 2020
an ever looming measure
up and down everyday
my mood hangs on it
heavy and disgusting
a feeling that hangs over
A scale controls my life...
el Mar 2020
i dare you
go on
tell me not to eat that
tell me i can't wear that
tell me i look fat
tell me i can't run
i can't party
tell me i can't move,
tell me i can't accomplish
tell me i should starve
tell me i should do something about this weight
this look
tell me i should run and not eat
no more than one leaf of lettuce a day
tell me i should only drink water
tell me no one will love me
no one will want me
tell me i'm ugly
tell me i'm not worth it
tell me my flabs are just a waste of space, and
that i take up too much oxygen when i breathe, because

i'm fat.
i'm fat.
i'm fat.
I'M FAT
my head screams as i look into the mirror
do you think your friends aren't embarrassed to be seen with you?
honey, do you think you're pretty?
oH, do you think you can afford to go out
grab some dinner with your 'friends'?
can you afford that weight?
are you even pretty enough?
oH, do you think
really really think
you deserve to be happy today?
ha ha
that's funny
b'tch
look at your belly and go back to bed
go cry
worthless
worthless
worthless
you'll never be great
well, size is the exception.
you're a waste of space
stop
breathing.
honey, i don't think they make coffins your size..
it's okay,
you can feed the fish
:)
(C) Elissar Mustapha
27.03.2020
every time somebody comments on my weight it takes a massive toll on my mental health and makes me self destructive. first stanza is others and second stanza is in my head. words hurt. words cut deep. even if she's not ideal, remember, nobody is and she is more than the outside.
Zack Ripley May 2019
Years ago, I was a teen.
I was afraid to make friends
Because kids were mean.
So one day,
I decided to wander around mymind to see if there
Was any strength i could find
I thought if I could be strong
It wouldn't hurt when they
Called me fat and stupid.
That once they realized
It didn't affect me anymore
They would get bored
And move along.
I thought I knew where I
Needed to go but got lost.
I found myself somewhere
I didn't know.
Finally, i found a door
And when I rushed through,
All I saw was darkness.
Nothing more.
I tried to find my way back
But after awhile, I made myself so scared i got dizzy and fell. Then everything went black. When I came to,
I realized trying to ignore my feelings wouldn't make me strong. That it wasn't my job to prove they were wrong. There in the darkness, I realized I was
Strong all along.
When I believed in myself,
I got back my sight.
It felt like a lifetime
But I finally found my way
Out of the darkness and into the light
Eyithen Mar 2020
I don't mean to be insecure
But sometimes it happens
I think you only like me
Cause I'm "confident", you say, and that's "rare".

But let me let you in on a little secret
It all feels like a lie
Sometimes I AM full of this energy of self-love
And other times I can hear those words being whispered into my ear: unworthy, ugly, insecure, little girl faker, puppet, doll

And I can feel the burn in my eyes
The one that tells me, as my throat tightens, that I might just cry
I want to be that girl you see
But I'm afraid if I let you in

If I let you see that I sometimes break
You won't like me anymore
Cause I'm nothing but a fake, however unreal that may be
You'll think I'm just like all the other girls you've dated
Thinking I'm fat and ugly, never comfortable in my own skin
And what if I told you, you were right?

But only sometimes.
And maybe if I had someone like you to stay,
It would only fortify the strong parts of me.
Because love only grows with love.
Sydney Mar 2020
I'm hungry but I don't want to eat
I'm weak
  or fat
  or both
Judgment
   from me and others
But I don't know what they're thinking
I assume
I assume they think
   I'm gross
   and fat
   and lazy
I could just be healthy
I could exercise more
Or eat fewer carbs and more protein
But I guess
   I am lazy
because I'd rather just stop eating
I know it's bad
I know it's dangerous
But my brain and my insecurity don't communicate
I'm insecure
       lazy
       gross
       unhealthy
       FAT
I guess this is just a reflection of the thoughts I've had in the past. If you are going through this please tell someone I went through it alone and it was really difficult.
Mick Feb 2020
fat
I used to go digging for my bones
to plant an açaí in the plot.
I used to go fishing for my bones
in a sea of plastic waste.
I used to go hunting for my bones
to eat and eat and eat and eat.
Follow me on Instagram @MickRWrites for more writing stuff :)
Michael R Burch Feb 2020
Escape
a roundel by Geoffrey Chaucer
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch

Since I’m escaped from Love and yet still fat,
I never plan to be in his prison lean;
Since I am free, I count it not a bean.

He may question me and counter this and that;
I care not: I will answer just as I mean.
   Since I’m escaped from Love and yet still fat,
   I never plan to be in his prison lean.

Love strikes me from his roster, short and flat,
And he is struck from my books, just as clean,
Forevermore; there is no other mean.
   Since I’m escaped from Love and yet still fat,
   I never plan to be in his prison lean;
   Since I am free, I count it not a bean.

**

Original text:

Sin I fro love escaped am so fat,
I never thenk to ben in his prison lene;
Sin I am fre, I counte him not a bene.

He may answere, and seye this or that;
I do no fors, I speke right as I mene.
    Sin I fro love escaped am so fat,
    I never thenk to ben in his prison lene.

Love hath my name y-strike out of his sclat,
And he is strike out of my bokes clene
For ever-mo; [ther] is non other mene.
    Sin I fro love escaped am so fat,
    I never thenk to ben in his prison lene;
    Sin I am fre, I counte him not a bene.
              Explicit.
Andrew Rueter Feb 2020
—After Sum 41

Through your social distortion of extortion at the
most absurd proportions, I realize I need a doctor
not a proctor for when I test the helicopter you said
you’d never offer to a lowly pauper. You could say it’s my
bad I even tried that so now I cry-laugh in the lilacs while my mom
throws bombs through satcoms to lighten the weather. I should’ve
known better and left the head sever nether that continuously had
me tethered to the emotionally unfettered. I really need to find an
honest man before I enforce a plan of a 1000th trimester abortion.
                                                                                              bortion
                                                                                         bortion
                                                                                     bortion  
                                                                                bortion
                                                                            bortion
                                                                        bortion
                                                                    bortion
                                                                bortion
                                                            bortion
                                                        bortion
                                                    bortion
After all the fat lips you gave me I
realized I’m a matchstick baby and don’t
need your rabies to save me. I don’t think I want
to live in your lair with your despair share stares turning to
a bitter taste once I start to face the human waste
falling on my head when I fall in your bed instead of my
king sized comforter singing trumpeter of a simple time—
childhood confined, morality defined by design until I become
the demons as you free them for freedom until they’re just another
lover to call my brother. The hits to my lips caused a casualty
of me casually even though I was never alive actually. Of
all the fists fighting me, it’s you I’d like to remove from society.
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