you see those numbers
big and ugly, on crumpled paper
and you feel them on your skin
like a stain on yourself, on
who you are, who you'll ever be

shame

it wraps its hot hands around you
its whispers harsh and sharp
in your ear:
"stupid. stupid. stupid"
your new heart beat, pumping
hot blood around your body
burning you on the inside
and you scream,
desperately wanting
to come out and be
someone else, someone smart
someone that just isn't you

you failed. this is it. you're done.
they were right about you.
you're just a stupid, ugly,
worthless. hopeless...

....Beautiful, brilliant
wonderful girl.
Your daughter looks away,
burning with embarrassment.
"You'll do well", you say,
"Just try your best.
And even if you don't
do as well as you'd like,
you'll still be my smart little girl"
"Thank you" she says, and disappears again
into her room, to study
You sigh, hope, pray, beg
That she believed you

More than you ever believed yourself

Can I borrow a little
bit of your time?
Just a couple of minutes,
for you to be mine…
Then after, I’ll be out
and gone.

You see,
I feel a little bit of this
and a little bit of that.
I can’t explain
though I know it’s there.
I know it’s real
but I can’t prove it
yet.

Well, you may not understand
but I, I’ve been thinking
’bout you and I-
maybe exaggerating but I
think there’s a little bit of
me that…

I don’t know,
how to phrase it.
It hasn’t left my lips
but already it tastes
a whole lot more absurd
than just thinking about
it.

And I’m afraid it might
seem off,
awkward,
and out of
place.
Still, I think that
I’m…

…not really sure why
I’m telling you things,
This little bit of feeling
I myself am unable
to admit to my own…

I just can no longer
keep this inside and
I feel like this is the
right time, so…

If this isn’t making any
sense to you,
it’s because it’s not
making sense to me
either.

…so, what am I doing here?
talking,
blabbering,
stuttering ,
wasting both
our time,
trying to tell you
a secret
I have yet to
discover.

I know, I know
I haven’t thought about
this well,
sounding crazy and
out of my mind…

I’ve lost all my senses,
fallen off my feet,
swallowed up my pride,
like a drunkard with
my phone on my hand
with your number as a
recipient and still I-
can’t tell you that I…

I, uh-
uhm, I think I ah,
I am…
hmm I am
Oh I am…

There goes my
time…
Over.
Why can’t I bring myself
to say that I’m in…

You know what?
My chance’s done anyway,
I’ll try better next time,
If there is such.