as i looked at the mirror
i asked who are you?
nothing replied
it’s just me
too different
i can’t remember
the times where i recognize myself
i put on too much
mask for everyone
i kept listening to the same old music
i opened a door in my mind
cameras are flashing
on my eyes
i didn’t find someone
i just found myself
alone in darkness
where i could feel
everyone is watching
expecting me to create fire
when i only breathe ice
i thought if i pretended
that i was not a fool
and get up to
their expectations
i would be happy
but i didn’t i just caused
the real me to be lost
in paradise of hell
where the crowd is the judge
and you’re a contestant,
but they didn’t know
fools eventually
change the
world

When your heart aches
and your soul cries.
When you feel lonely
and you struggle to get through the night.
When your chest hurts
and you're sad to the core.
When you give your best
but they ask for more.
When you feel empty,
you're full of void.
When life means nothing
but the devil's joy.
When your hands shake
while you're playing your part.
When you feel so afraid
you may never be loved back.
When you see nothing
but your future grave
and those judging eyes
turn the other way.
When everything you do is never enough
and the little good things
not a second last.
When all of that happens choose to create art.

When I look in the mirror
I don't see a successful
beautiful
unique
girl
I see an ugly
worthless
disgusting
person
who isn't
and can never be
good enough

Maybe, maybe, maybe
Maybe you love me or maybe
it’s an illusion of what I so deeply
yearn to feel.

Maybe I’m just in love with the idea
of what could be
Maybe it’s not us who are meant to be

Maybe love isn’t for us
Maybe we’re going in the wrong direction
Maybe we need more than just someone to trust
Maybe we have too high expectations

Maybe I love you
Maybe I don’t
Either way, maybe you need to know.

I often wonder
what the world wants
or expects of me.
Then I realize the truth.
All people from all places,
they search all their lives
for happiness.
Some people want and expect
me to deliver it upon them.
The smart ones, they pursue
happiness on their own.

I fall I fall
On surfaces that
Are ***** and damp and clammy and flat
I fall and land, but curtsey and stand
And while the crowds, they clap
My dress, it hangs
Over feet that cracked
I am I am
A tiny glass house
And my heart it beats under a tightly wound blouse
That accentuates my chest and shows off the rest
But carves my bones and burns my flesh
I wish I wish
Upon a star
That looks down on us
And giggles from afar
That crowds, and their parties and mirrors and reflections
Could stop biting my heels and offering objections
But since the world is just but a boat
That everyone rows to stay afloat
And since this sea ask only for performance
I'll put on my dress and dance for my audience
And as they clap as I fall but stand
I'll whisper to myself a tiny demand
That the next performance won't be so long
And the dance and prance won't finish the song
That when I jump my glass feet will shatter
And I'll disappear from space and matter