You didn't see me, yesterday
at the mall, outside
American Eagle, perched
over my phone, praying to God
that tomorrow's flame-filled tornados
and neon Nuclear nightmares didn't strike
like lotto tickets after 20 years salary wasted
after 20 years wasted in front of the bottom of cups
and the ends of wet joints -
No, something about today's different -
it's always darkest before the dawn
and it's always coldest before the crack,
sometimes I feel like letting go of you
and never looking back - I know
You must've figured the same
maybe I'm too wracked with disdain -

I am not bipolar and yet I am. I carry it with me everywhere. I am at the top of the slide, the breeze hitting my face along with happiness, whipping my hair around, lacing my whole being with joy and pure euphoria.

I slip, I slip so hard and fast, it hurts, everything hurts and I’m at the very bottom, too weak to move, everything is pointless.

I climb, more like fly to the top, it’s unexpected, more like I blasted there, maybe im stable but consequences are always definite.

As long as we stay here,
Behind this
Curtain of tainted reality, we are a
Definitive image of
Euphoria
For when I am with you,
Gospel is found painted on your skin.
Here, at least, satisfaction isn't fake
I don't want to think it through
Just pretending works well enough.
Kids playing with matches is what we are,
Lying in this fire we started.
Maybe if you are close enough, if you are
Near enough
Or if I kiss you long enough, some
Pressure will be lifted, my
Quest to feel satiated complete.
Regret has no place in your touch
So hold me a little longer than usual;
Take me somewhere only we know.
Use my heart, but try not to break it.
Venomous lips and a heart to match
Want to give it a try?
Youth is a fickle thing, with cherry red
Xs slicing through our responsibilities. Sad to say babe, but we're
Zinnias in a garden that was always destined to burn.

Climb this mountain,
Don't tell her what her voice is

Climbing, I don't say,
When she calls out, she's joking,
She's not talking to me,
But if I imagine she is,
Watch me sprint up.

This euphoria,
I've only felt it once before,
When I was called little brother,
And these two words embraced me
So small, yet holding so much,
She might have been joking,
But what I heard was
I hear you,
And I almost cried

Now, climbing,
I don't say
I don't tell her what her voice means
I doubt she remembers
What I whispered in urgent tones that day
Because I know she isn't talking to me,
When she calls to the boy,
I know she's talking to
the real boy,
But when I heard her,
I soared up the cliff,
Exhaustion from the hours before
Suddenly gone
And I could run, like
Any boy could have,
Now I find myself dreaming
That she might mean it one day,
I find myself dreaming
That the boy she was talking to,
Really talking to,
Might mean it one day...

It felt good. It felt good thinking about you slowly digging my neck deep with your tongue.
Thinking about you gazing deep into the ocean of my eyes and smiling upon my shoulder at the same time. It felt good thinking about you gradually waving your fingertips on the caramel upon my hair, telling me I'm beautiful. Thinking of you against my lips, smashing petal to petal.
It felt good.
The only thing that didn't feel good was,
the fact,
that I was thinking.
And only that.
:)

It’s months with unspoken words
and still somehow when we meet again
our friendship never lost it’s worth
It’s something I still can’t quite comprehend

We speak for hours between diapers and demands
and laugh in the afternoon light
You’ll be the cause of euphoria when no one else can
And again everything will be alright

It’s amazing how life still goes on
Leads us down different paths
But still we make it work, we keep strong
and respect each other with careful hands.