my heart hurts
i’m stuck with
this curse
i need to learn
how to love
before
it kills me first

She took a part of me that I can't retrieve,
How in the hell could I be so naive,
Maybe cause she put my feeble mind at ease,
In the end it was just one great ol' tease,
I was lost in the feeling of feeling pleased,
I never thought that such events would cease,
Like walking through green meadows feeling the breeze,
Like kissing me while she's on her knees,
Every day going home depressed and crying,
This stuff sounds fake but I am not lying,
They say, "Do Better", they can't see I'm trying,
Whatever the setting, I feel like dying,
Recently she has been occupying,
My mind that has been solidifying,
Into something quite unsatisfying,
A ball of depression that doesn't stop supplying,
She took me in and then pushed me away,
What's the problem, did she think I was gay,
Does she think that love is just a game you play,
Till' you ruin a man and watch him decay,
*****, love is not a ******* buffet,
Pick a meal, put it on your plate and stay,
Right now it's in your best interest to obey,
Because I won't let you be lead astray,
Even though you already got ****** up,
And I know you're slowly becoming corrupt,
I love you so I might as well give up,
Continuing life normally until I erupt,
I'm ending this now, this is my last verse,
So I'll take my bow and accept my curse,
It would never allow me to take first,
So I say ciao, now it's time to disperse.

Cleopatra and
Patroclus reflect upon
the same cursed mirror

somehow, right now,
it’s winter and i’m wrapped in your embrace.
somehow, it’s winter and we’re all wearing brown,
sitting on soft couches and listening,
pretending we’re oh so smart,
when really?
we’re oh,
so
young.

and all our hearts, they’re strewn across the floor,
all our work is forgotten,
as we kiss and touch and watch the snow fall,
and sit down to dinner,
where we slow dance -in the living room,
then wrap our arms around each other,
repeat the same songs on some ancient tape player.

those slow drumbeats, the soft jazz notes,
the growing thrum of this cursed city
-the one we danced to? sank into the sheets with?
this, this is where we got lost in us.
with the snowfall outside and, who would have noticed
that we smell like something other than fall candles.

i grin, and we grab our things off the floor,
and laugh it off. somehow, we know this place,
it’ll always be our home. after all,
sweaters cover our marks in a way sun-clothes can’t,
don’t they darling?

now, soft skin, pearlescent,
seems like some sort of luxury, a wish made during yule,
something i can only share with you,
because truly, i don’t think i’d want to share this cold place,
unless they were you.

and as we waltz to slow music, as we plan, as we laugh,
as we sit down in the candles,
i think i’m falling all over again,
because your eyes look hodded in the light,
your skin inviting, your mouth soft,
and your smile makes me wish you’d swallow me whole.

A hollowness where life once grew,
now I have a barren soul.

No flowers bloom here anymore,
the colours are all gone.

but i feel the thorns twisting in my gut
and the weeds thriving in my chest.

They multiply into a wasteland,
where nothing but monsters dwell.

Blessed is she who surrenders last coin
Giving from lack rather than plenty

Blessed is he who takes inspiration
Single gift multiplied into many

Blessed are those who pass these along
Money dispersed round the earth

Blessed are those who give correct change
Insist you just pay what it's worth

So now blessed am I as I walk along
Her last coin nestled in hand

And when she looks at me with pleading eyes
I withhold, cause here begging is banned