I really don’t blame you
For expecting the worst.
When the friends I thought true,
Could see my name cursed.

But I am no threat,
I am not poison.
And I will not let
The lies that they’ve chosen
Get under my skin,
Or seep into my blood.
Because I know that within,
My heart is good.

There is no motive,
There is no plan.
So please forgive
What you think I am.

At the age of 12 my aunt said
" No one is going to marry you if you stay this skinny."
She laughed as I felt ugly.
At the age of 13 my grandmother said
" Your teeth, they are not right you must fix it"
They nodded in agreement shooting me down with another bullet.
At the age of 14 my mother said
" Your skin is too dark, make it lighter"
She passed a ****** pack as I scrubbed my skin as hard as sandpaper.
At the age of 16, my great uncle said
" Your eyes are huge, go for a reduction surgery maybe?"
My heart sank as I rushed to save every dollar, every penny.
At the age of 17, I said to myself
" You are filthy, not worthy of a second look, not worthy of finding happiness, not worthy of getting married"
I realised my worth was decided, my abilities were limited and my future was cursed at the age of 12, very young indeed.

i feel like i have a curse on me
or maybe im just a magnet
and i only attract negativity
everything in my life
goes from bad to worse
even when i try to be happy
i cant even fake that im happy
i wonder what i did
for karma to hate my guts
maybe i did some bad
but i cant recall
me ever having this much bad intentions
with my actions
or maybe that just how karma works
it tortures you till you cant breath
im overwhelmed
tired
i wonder what would happen
if i decided to slit my wrists
with my luck
someone would find me
and id end up locked inside a nut hut
my life probably isnt really that bad
i know some people have it worse
but in my mind i cant find peace
and its been slowly killing me
i really want this nightmare to end
but i havent gone to sleep
only in my dreams can i escape reality
when i wake i enter insanity
im tired of driving myself crazy

Today I lost myself
Because I met her
And now my awful face
Gone with my old life

Hello
Hello
Hello
pretty life
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Cursed life


My life has changed
My life has found the colors
And lost a cloud over his head
And bruises under the eyes

Hello
Hello
Hello
pretty life
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Cursed life
Hello
Hello
Hello
pretty life
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Cursed life

2016

Where is your shame,
Great Mother of blame?

The sins of generations are coursing through your vein...
But when all the blood is spilled, there is nothing left to gain.

So where are you going...
Who is left to play your game?

How many more pawns must there be?
Before we can clearly see,
The mistakes that are destined for me.

A clock ticks time,
A heart beats fast.
Her mouth whisper spells,
she couldn't cast.
The lies lie down,
beneath her lips.
Loving a man,
for his blood.
They were cursed,
under the full moon.
Blood for blood,
death in love.

That was a star in millions,
Which I wanted to touch from core of my heart.
Just to touch from warmth but not to touch so harsh.
Yeah! That was vacant from any bothered shine,
He made me do sins, his lips were like vine.
I saw him on the full moon,
He was shining brighter then the moon.
He doesn't believe on sun anymore,
Just a thing that gives light for sure.
His disbelieve made me believe,
In love and destiny.
I tried to touch him cause I got sparkled in his shine,
And then when I touched him he lost his shine,
He drowned in darkness,
And never appear again.
Again I destroyed a star in million!
Being satanic and dark I stay now low
Spreading the curse wherever I go.