I sat there in thoughtful repose, a fixed stare into
The crystal ball, wishing for a response or a voice,
Truly I've never received anything more than
Silence, as though there even was a magical point.

A ghostly will I have in mind, is that in the end
I can be buried right next to a willow, so that maybe
If the mid-morning rain falls upon my grave,
It will offer only a melody song of wind chimes,
Just a note of tranquil soft rain, a bell ringing
Off in the distance, tolling like the golden days.

Perhaps there will be an answer somehow, perhaps
There will never come an answer, but what's the point?
This train I am on goes where the commoners please,
Is this life just an endless toil, a festering disease?

*Somehow I'll find it, the fantasy dreamt fairytale answer.
No magic. Period. A lifetime of stress, work, and now cancer.

He palmed me a bismuth,

*You remind me of this crystal.
You're not flashy but you're beautiful.

Love changes people
And Hate changes people
But, most importantly and immensely, Pain changes people
Pain rips your rib cage open as the last particle of happiness is whisked away in the wind
It holds your heart like a broken glass bottle, a crystallized art exhibit,
The tattered remains of the day you left, and crushes it, ever so gracefully
With finesse and skill and much practice
Pain can do things no other thing can
It is similar to death in the sense of a reaper,
Hovering over every move
Pain does not discriminate
It does not care if you are black or white
It does care that you are blind, or deaf, or like macaroni as a midnight snack
Pain does not care that you love him
The only thing that can cure this menace is Love
Yes, Pain changes people more than anything else,
But, Love is much stronger.

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