I don’t know what to call you and I
I don’t know that what I feel is concrete
So, do I want you because of how badly you want me?
So, do I want to spend every waking moment talking to you because of how you give me light?
I don’t know what to call what we do at your apartment
I don’t know what to say when people ask if I’m seeing someone
When I am with you I feel like I am playing house
So, now what do I do to make it feel like home?

You shiver with content staring into the sea,
Reminiscing over past events which have shaped your life,
All these mixed feelings twine like spider webs,

You linger for a hand in the darkness,
A comfort you once had,
Seeking for a connection you left behind,
Feeling so far away from your mind

Often feels like a clouded view,
Of not knowing what you need,
Rather than knowing what you want,

As the pebbles hit your feet,
You hear the storm coming over from the cliffs,
The grittiness of the cold bites your lips,
You slowly move towards the sea edge,

Arms spread wide as the strong breeze hits,
Wind pushing hard against your hips,
You steadily moving further closer to the ambush of waves,
The shore rumbles and roars,
Spraying salty sea water across your face,

You stare above to see the burning moonrise
The moon widens like a Cheshire Cat smile,
You somehow feel safe and content,
Able to confront the anxieties,
Which have been growing from inside

I choose detachment;
Excitement brings more distress,
It never brings peace.

Not a day goes by when someone doesnt bother me,

I honestly wish people would just let me be!

for a split second,
the TV screen turned red,
followed by a shrill beep.
it was a small glitch,
too small to be noticeable,
so the television stayed.

the longer she watched it,
the more often it turned red,
the longer the high-pitched beep.
but she could never predict
when the glitch would happen,
and she waited for it to be normal.

eventually, she adjusted
to a perpetually red screen
and an irritating, shrill hum
until her friend came in,
asking why the screen was red
and where the noise was coming from.

she brushed it off,
claiming it was a glitch.
the screen stayed that way,
and the hum persisted.
her eyes slowly became weary,
and her ears started ringing.

her friend took her away.
her eyes and ears got a break,
and she saw a different screen,
one of many colors, showing life
in its beautiful and tragic moments.
she heard vivid, rich, musical voices.

she went back to her television,
exhausted, trying in vain to fix it,
but it would not change,
no matter how hard she tried.
questions bloomed in her mind
until it suddenly dawned on her.

this was never a glitch.
it was a complete malfunction.
her heart and head were pounding
as she held an antenna to her chest.
it weighed her arms down,
but she threw it across the room.

it crashed into the television,
and the screen went black.
the hum stopped, and all was quiet
except for her loud breathing.
she wept as relief washed over her
and she lay down, content at last.