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ky Mar 2018
1 year ago - I remember you messing up your locker combination over and over again, just to make me laugh;

11 months ago - I remember you taking every opportunity you could to talk to me, even about the simplest things. You were so nervous, but honestly, so was I;

10 months ago - I remember you finally getting up the nerve to take the next step but getting too nervous and backing out before anything too serious happened;

9 months ago - I remember keeping in touch with you the whole summer and, in August, being alone together for the first time. You wouldn't dare make a move just yet, though. You had a plan;

8 months ago - I remember being back in school together, growing closer, falling faster;

7 months ago - I remember you being too scared to say a word, so I'd always be the one to start up conversations. But finally, one September night, I remember being alone at that football game and you putting your arm around mine;

And 6 months ago - I wish I could forget, because that's when you and I fell apart.

Since then, it's been 26 painfully tense weeks /
183 days of anxious avoidance / 4,380 hours of regret /
262,800 minutes of missing the way things used to be.

But through all this time,
all these billions of seconds later,
I still get that same exact feeling
every time I hear your name.

And I guess what I'm getting at is:
is it really that foolish of me to believe that
you could still feel the same?

Because yes,
I know that it's been 6 whole months since we fell apart,
but after all, it did take us that same amount of time
to fall together.
ky Jan 2018
They say all good things take time,
yet the result of our love,
so cautiously constructed
upon months of fragile glances
and nervous conversations,
disappeared, lost among the constellations,
shattered by sunrise.

The hurt in my heart, however,
lasted what felt like a lifetime,
until one day the pain
decided to fade.

By the heat of the blazing sun,
which burnt from the burdens
of my innermost heart,
came a delicate dawn of hope,
a hope so grand
that it convinced me
to abandon my fears
and pursue the one thing
I'd feared the most.

So within a mere, fragile second,
as time once stripped away
the feelings I held for you,
so will it restore my desire
to mend the broken pieces
which the sun so brutally shattered.

I now give you my word,
a vow to disregard the calendars
with constant reminders of our distance,
and to trust in time.

For although I have come to learn
that time itself is a dangerous thing,
I have faith that it will bring us together
once more.
ky Jan 2018
Just as I'm about to give up,
you give me yet another reason to hold on,
but I can't afford to feel this way much longer;
I can't keep fighting for something
when I don't remember what it is I'm fighting for.

So in order to feel at peace
and get rid of this dark cloud
that's been circling over me,
there's something I must do,
or rather, something I must say to you.

I surrender.

I give in to your perfect smile
and your chocolate brown eyes,
the ones that make me melt every time.

I submit to the sound of your voice
and the way it carries me from a world I fear
into the safety of your arms.

I no longer resist the urge to look your way,
the need to know if you're looking back at me,
because I do not fear your observation;
I only welcome it.

I allow you to see the feelings I've suppressed
in this war between the good in my heart
and the mess in my mind.

Because I surrender, not for you,
but because I think it's about time.
ky Jan 2018
He makes me feel a way you never once did,
but you both made me feel something.

He and I talk like we're best friends,
but we used to have conversations like strangers,
getting to know each other better
with each and every word.

And even though he makes me feel
just as happy as I felt with you,
I don't get a rush when I hear him say my name;
I don't look for him in a crowded room.

So I guess I just can't figure out
whether I fell for him to get over you
or so that he could lead me back.
ky Dec 2017
I do my best writing in the dark,
for it is in the absence of light
that I see you most vividly.

But I'm sure to do all my thinking in the day,
because the sun helps melt away the vision
of your chocolate brown eyes,
carried throughout my memories.

But although your appearance sometimes fades
and the sound of your voice I forget more quickly
than half of my classmates' names,
I will forever hold onto our unforgettable moments
oh-so tightly within my brain.

Because how could I erase the first time we spoke,
or our last goodnight at that football game?
Don't think I'll neglect all the good times we had
just because the two of us are no longer the same.

And who could disregard that summer day,
where I first heard you speak my name,
or each and every one of our conversations
and the silly reasons for which they came?

I know it may seem like I'm filled with hate
from the decision that you made,
but in all honesty I still cling to the hope
that we will be together someday.

So please help me to hold on;
give me the faith that I desire
so that our burnt-out flame can be reborn
into an eternal fire.

And trust in your intuition
so that it can allow you to see
that I am still in love with you
and you were always in love with me.
ky Dec 2017
We tell lies
to reveal the truth
which in itself is too honest
to be revealed.

We trick our minds
into believing false realities
so that we can feel at least
the slightest bit healed.

This is how the broken heart beats;
this is how we get on.
And to protect my own fractured heart,
I told myself to move on.

Pick up the pieces he shattered,
and allow him no excuse.
Leave within a timely fashion,
and no further conclusions shall you deduce.

Let things be as they may
before you get even more hurt.
Take your heart with you in its entirety
and leave him to be with her.

I know this is a task among tasks,
a trial of great tribulation,
but without following these careful instructions,
your heart will require ventricular fibrillation.

And I guarantee some hurt will remain,
but that is surely a good thing,
because if you did not feel at all,
then your heart would not be working.

So continue to be a warrior.
Fight with lack of speech rather than word.
And let the silence speak to him
louder than a piercing sword.

It may take some time,
but in his mind will your reason be sealed,
because if you walk the path of the broken,
you will at last be healed.
ky Dec 2017
An angel stripped of her halo,
locked in a dungeon
of self-doubt and heartbreak,
longs to be saved.

She dreams of her knight in shining armor
rescuing her from the fear onto which she clings,
the same fear that stifles her uttermost dreams.

But her saving grace must fight his own battle,
a ferocious war between the good he once found in her heart
and the evil that still plagues his own mind.

The bright light that used to shine from within her eyes
has lessened to a mere glimmer of fluctuating hope,
and her once supple lips have slowly but steadily dried,
for it has been so long since they tasted freedom.

But what must it take for this beauty to be saved?

She has been taken from a world of wonder,
a planet of peaceful longing and generous love,
into an isolated cell unto which no living being has stumbled.

For this prison is within her own mind.

And it is up to her
to save herself.
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