you are the sunshine
to my storm and the cure
to all my chaos

10:04 PM
24/8/19

do you like to worship yourself
better than worshiping anyone else?
do you look at any glass
except the ones that show yourself?

haven't you heard?
the towers have fallen!
haven't you heard
That towers can fall?

and then, just when
I thought I had seen it all...

i found myself sitting in a different
                                     room
  it looked like a palace
                         but it was a tomb
  like a bleeding, barren womb
  like a child born far too soon
       and it was dark
       and i was scared
       and adults were gathered in a far-off room

and there were things in there with me
that the adults couldn't see
and they were dark and they were small
with the sharpest little teeth

I'VE LOST SOMETHING
something's been taken!
they tore something out of me
     i knew the moment
     i awoke
     and saw the daylight flee

do you paint pictures of food
to donate to starving children?
do you max out your credit card
to profit off God's business?

the towers
shining like mirrors
we see our reflection
   then all is just shattered
   then all that once mattered
   is a column of smoke in the wind
        and angels descend
        from mansions pretend
        to caverns below
        where old Titans stow
                  away
     awaiting the day
      that Chaos will arrive
      their savior
and swallow Earth and its deepest recesses
and them along with it all
   and Vishnu sleeps
   on the endless serpent

It has stopped raining,
but it keeps raining "what if"
in the chaos that is going on in my head.
Unfortunately I have lost my raincoat,
and my umbrella?
I lost it somewhere.
A facade of a building could be a solution,
but how do you find a building in endless darkness
without a little bit of light?

day is coming and i am night, apocalypse, contained collapsing chaos candlelight. i am the shadows in the corners of your sleep paralysis plights and i am your hallucinations. i can't seem to find the root of it all. take me to the stars and leave me there so i can find some truth in the nothing. i am night, i am no one. i don't want to be afraid anymore and can you do that for me? i'll close my doors and crack open the windows and find the dust of my bones on the shards. take my hands and melt them into copper, bronze flower stems. cut my throat and pour the red clay into your palms and shape me a ***. place the flowers within and throw the whole mess out the window for me. maybe they'll be discovered by the darkness and the stars will come out in despair, delusion, delight. maybe one day we'll all disappear and no longer Be. maybe one day we'll figure out what it all means.

This chaos is fragile
Inside my brain
Made up of you
And this heartbreaking pain
I need you to tell me
I'll be okay
Three simple words
I need you to say
A day
Feel empty
Without you in it
Life
Is a game
And I want to finish
"I love you"
Would be so sweet
I'm so cold
And I need your best
Lonely hearts
Don't do well alone
My heart is made of glass
And you're throwing stones

You look at me 
And say 
I am chaos
when you look.at me 
I am chaos....
Ask yourself why
when you look at me
I explode into chaos?
I  kiss you  
tremble, feel you,
Touch you and
Fade away
Into tiny tiny pieces 
Of myself