It was the way you carried yourself,
as if universes scratched at your shoulders
and the care you kept neatly inside
was killing you slowly.

I remember the words you spoke
as if they were poking, pressing
at your already bruised ribs;
as if they climbed up your throat
holding ice hooks and torches.

I buried them deep as they'd go
in the sweat-drenched sheets,
hoping you wouldn’t remember
or want  to search for them.

But one night I awoke
to an unfamiliar breeze,
those sheets untangled and draping
halfway out the open window.


I'm sorry I couldn't keep you safe.

You might have seen the smile on his face,
and heard the laughter full of lies
But did you see the scars on his arm,
and the tears in his eyes.
Have heard the pain in his voice,
and seen the bruises on his thighs?
He's been broken for years and no one has a clue on why.

I remember it all as The 1975 played
Eyes dancing in the smoke of your wilted cigarette
Tangled in the bed comforter
Our lips pressed together
Carving novels from the sweep of your eyelashes
Your hand on my leg sending lightning through my bloodstream
Kneading contained desire into new shapes
Though room was frigid  
I could feel my cheeks getting crimson and heated
As we pressed closer
Skin to skin
Whispering unspoken truths through laced fingers
My lipstick wore off on your neck
Around the bruises I left
Time waving goodbye as the sun slowly rose

i pull away in the nick of time
right before he captures his lips with mine
he grabs my shoulders
my meekness making him bolder
and as i struggle he pulls me in closer
as if this changes the fact that this is part of an older
struggle for dominance
but aware of an audience
i shrug out of his violent embrace
as his angry fingers try to erase
my fear of his anger
my fear that he will linger
in this ferocious dispute
of me trying to escape you
bruises bloom as you glide your hand down my arm
as you make everyone forget with your charm
bruises bloom in my heart
as your words tear me apart
bruises bloom in my mind
as you blind
the ones that could mend
the bruises you tend
like a garden of blue green
roses

I'm sorry your hands had to leave bruises on my skin
and that my love breaks your ribs.

I'm sorry for the bruises I made in your heart
and for the lies I told with the same lips you tasted.

I'm sorry for the bruises I bore in my heart
and for the storm I brought to your mind.

I'm sorry for the bruises I left in your life,
and made you see my chaos with your eyes.

I'm sorry for the bruises made from holding onto you too tight,
and for the hate that filled your lungs.

I'm sorry for the bruises I can't erase
I'm sorry for the bruises old scars replaced.

I'm sorry for the bruises my fingertips left
I'm sorry for the bruises my lips marked on yours

I'm sorry for the bruises on your wrists with my handprints
I'm sorry for the bruises that took your breath away.

I'm sorry for the bruises.

my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
you taught me that
hatchlings aren't able to fly,
though they think they are.

my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
you taught me that
in order to live
and to love,
part of me had to die.

my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
you taught me that
i would never be
as beautiful or as perfect
as the dove.

my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
you taught me that
i was worthless,
and if i wanted something,
i had to work for it.

my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
you taught me that
you were protecting me
from the outside world.
i didn't realize i was suffering.


my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
you taught me that
i couldn't trust anyone,
there were predators all around,
and when it rained, it poured.

my body is a nest
for robin's eggs.
i told myself that
it was time to fly.
oh, it hurt, but still,
your words were never as soft as the ground.

Honey-coloured skin
Covering
Over-used bones and
Abused muscles
That have seen the inside
Of blisters
And bruises, hidden beneath
Mismatched, jarring wool
And tight, black
Material that only just
Manages to contain her.

Covered in scratches
Covered in scrapes
Drowning in wounds
That eternally ache