I create a dream and then lose myself into it.

My whole self.

I create the biggest most soothing dream that I could ever imagine; all of my wants and all of my current needs I put into it.

I invest all of my life energies into the dream and then I crush it.

I really mean that I crush it.

It gets scattered into millions of pieces of stardust and meteorites sprinkled among the mountains and dales of the galaxies and beyond.

Nothing fails as nothing is started. I am nothing. I become nothing and I stay as nothing until a new dream appears and the process is repeated once again. It expands and shrinks as it blinks back at me.

"It is all a big joke August."

I can hear the voices of the gods.

It is all the mystical nature of it all.

I gave my all to you
My skin, my lungs, my eyes, my soul.
Without you I would have to rebuild.
My depths would take years to refill.
My heart would have to be re born.
I would be made of emptiness, I would possibly be too empty to re gain strength.

I trust you'll keep me close to you.
This world is a much greater place.
Our souls synthesised make magic.

You gave your all to me..
And I promise to care for you entirely.

I love you with all of my heart
No, more, with every atom inside
Each cell in my body lives for you
My molecules long to be by your side.

I met you by chance
Became your friend by choice
But when I fell for you, it was beyond my control
And being in love, perhaps be God's will - His punishment and His
         gift for me. But honestly, this too is my wish and will.

I want you to know I am just another chess player
Afraid to loose you, afraid to loose my queen on the chess board
I like your beauty, and value your person - that is how special you
          are to me
But it was your heart and soul, that I am in love with.

I once read...
not to "love too much, hope too much or trust too much
because that too much
is going to hurt you so much"

But I still choose to give you
my all... and still give you too much of this all
for I may be the only one who will ever love you like this
and I hope you remember me and appreciate my efforts

At the very least I hope
that if someday I die, I expect not you to shed tears for me
but at least remember me
and that I love you and I always will.

As I said,
"and as I fall, I will give you my all
you may not be the first, but I wished you are the last
and for you I will not rise above the rest, but rise above the best."

Remember it rains
because it's too heavy in the clouds
Tears too fall
because it's too painful to keep it in

Finally, let me lie in bed
and let me fall asleep and pray it be quicker
before I fall apart
before my tears fall

But remember I did give you my all
Guess just unlucky you didn't fall
But still know that one day if you need me
come knock at my door or message me and I will always welcome
           you with open arms...

Wow.
I'm so sick of doubt
The miserable life
That we all lead
And the lies
That we feed
Our children with
.
Same old story
Everyday and every night
Chained to our jobs
We are not free
From our own thoughts
Which leads nowhere
.
But Wow.
I'm so happy
Cause I know the truth
And the wise words
Of prophets and saints
That someday
This will end
.
In my grave
I'll be at peace
And only then
I will be free
And I will forever be
In your memory
In your memory.