It's my last hope.
The sun in its afternoon swirl. It's up there. Far,
                 far and I still feel that
There's always hope.
It's fresh fruit meeting the tongue. It's playing
                 King of the Mountain.
It's the budding smell of spring flora.
It grows on trees.*
                 We pluck it, make it purchasable.

There are nights of neon,
where the pavement cries,
the windows cast shadows,
the city runs purposeless.

These nights, I am in space,

and midair on the moon, I stare back
into this glowing orb of blue and green.
Amidst endless black, I imagine it burning,
the most bizarre thing I have ever seen,
and I ask, for what? Like they say of life,

all a striving after the wind.

I was a cocky ******* until I met you, now I'm just a soft little **** boy who doesn't know what I want anymore.

I'm tired
Of trying to
Fit into a box
Which has no category

To belong
Is where I want
To begin

Isolated
Trauma state identity
Who cares
As long
As your grinning

I can't even
Do that anymore
I feel there's
No one out there
That remembers
My name

When I want
To collide with
My words
And unite

This feeling
Of guilt
Strengthens
My desire

****** up
As it sounds
No one
Does care

So why are they
Still FOLLOWING me
Everywhere

There was that color
those mix of red,orange and yellow
they told me whenever there's a rain
there would be a rainbow

I started to love rain
the drop of water down the gutters
The splash of fun and wonder
because I knew there would always be a
r a i n b o w

But then i stopped believing
I've been seeing too much rain
I don't see the colors anymore
the wonders after the rain

Why is there no rainbow?
after my eyes stopped raining...

There are few things more satisfying
than watching a lone mosquito
furiously trying to drill
baby, drill
circling the drill site
pushing and pushing
Do mosquitos sweat?
on the roof
of your car.

Waiting for the sun
to line the cusp of dawn
wetting the cigarette path
that has ashed my throat
with the last sip of yesterday
I saw my tomorrow
sugarcoated with a hangover
and sprinkled with reality

I am still alive